Call Me Angel.


Title:- see above
Rating:- PG13
Distribution:- ask first.
Ownership:- you lot should know by now! I'm not repeating it for the god-knows-how-many-th time!
Feedback:- Or may the Master break every bone in your body and lick them dry!!


Spike stood infront of the Master. Neither were in a particularly good mood. The Master signalled for Spike to come closer, he didn't, of course,
"Do you think I'm stupid? I'm staying here. If you want me closer, come here yourself."
Darla sauntered in, smiling as innocently as the teenager she'd just feasted on,
"My grandson has come home." She cooed. Spike didn't return the smile,
"Uh, no. I haven't and I'm not going to. Not until Angelus has resumed his rightful place as the psychopathic fiend he always was." He noted the disappointment on their faces, "And I don't think that's going to happen any time soon, do you?"
The Master rested his chin on his hand and sat back in his makeshift throne,
"Hmm, pity. I had a rather interesting job for you, but you would have to return to us to accept it."
Darla skipped up to the blonde vampire and walked around him, running her finger across his broad shoulders,
"Do you like?" She indicated her clothes. The American high school chick look. Cute. Spike shrugged,
"Very...sweet. Wish I could say the same for the rest of you."
She hissed at him, she knew he didn't like her, not after she abandoned Angelus when he needed them most. When he got his soul back. She backed away slightly,
"Still not forgiven me yet?"
"No."
The Master was growing impatient,
"William, listen to me." He turned to face him, and Spike straightened his jacket,
"What?"
"This girl. Buffy Summers."
"The Slayer."
"Yes. I want her dead." Darla went to complain, but she stopped at a glance from her superior, "Our kindred are dropping like flies, William. It's out of order. I want her out of the way before Harvest."
"Understood. I'll do it, but I'm *not* playing Happy Families with you lot. It's not my fault your little street-fighters don't know the first thing about defending themselves."
Ignoring his grandmother's reproaches, Spike stormed out again, back to Dru. He always had to pick the most awkward times to ask for something menial. 3 Slayers down, another one to go. Easy.


Buffy and her Slayerettes sat in the graveyard for a study/slay session. Their studying wasn't going to well, vamps were appearing every 5minutes, and of course there was the slaying bit. Buffy wasn't amused in the least,
"You guys had better go. It's not safe out here."
Giles huffed indignantly,
"And what about you? I'm the Watcher, you're my responsibility. If something happened to you I'd - "
"Me Slayer. Big girl. Can look after herself. Besides at the mo I'm thinking you should duck."
"What?"
"Hit the dirt!"
They ducked in time for a really tall vampire to jump over them and land on Buffy. And on Buffy's stake. It exploded into ashes and Buffy coughed, dusting herself off,
"Don't they ever knock? That's it. You are going home. No arguements, I'm taking you guys home and *no* inviting strange men or women into your house!"
Willow sighed,
"Right."

Spike watched her from the shadows and decided to follow them as they left. He stopped when they stopped, and waited till there was only two left. The Slayer and the red-head. Here goes, lunch and assasination all in one.
He was a bit late though, Buffy with all her super-Slayer senses knew he was following them and turned to see him walking up to them. His feet made no noise on the gravel path of the park. She eyed him suspiciously,
"What do you want?"
"Nothing, Pet."
"Quit with the stalking then."
"Why? Don't tell me you're scared of me. The Slayer? Scared of *me*?"
She froze and saw Will was half hiding behind her. Buffy stood her ground,
"No, I'm not scared of you...whoever you are."
"Me? Just call me Angel."
"And that means what to me?"
"Nothing much. Just thought you might need my help."
"Well, I don't."
They turned to leave, but froze again as "Angel" continued talking,
"Sure about that? I mean s'not likely you're going to survive the Harvest with out help."
"Harvest? How'd you know about that?"
Spike shrugged,
"Have to protect my sources. I know how to stop the Master from walking."
"You do?"
The vampire was enjoying this little charade, she was falling right into the trap. Digging herself a hole so deep she'd never get out.
"There's this vampire called Spike. Formally known as William the Bloody. He's the key to it all."
He went on to describe Angel, calling him Spike. He described his clothing and what to do if she met him. Both girls listened intently as the man infront of them gave them step-by-step instructions on how to kill him and therefore stop the Harvest. When they departed, the girls turned and ran back up the way they came, desperate to tell Giles.

Spike sauntered back to the Master and was about to tell all when he saw Druscilla itting on his knee,
"Dru?! What are you doing?!"
She turned to look at him, the picture of innocence,
"Nothing, Luv. The Master was telling me how to look after pets. Have you got me a new one yet?"
"Not yet, Pet. I'm a bit weighed down at the moment. Go make a list of what kind of pet you want and I'll see what I can do."
Both men watched as she jumped off the Master's knee and skipped home excitedly. Then Spike smiled maliciously,
"Everything's underway."
"So she's dead?"
"Not yet. Be patient, I have a way to get Angelus back and kill the brat at the same time."
"Do tell."
"No, you'll just have to wait. It's a surprise."
"You know how I hate surprises, William."
"You'll love this one."
Darla came back from her escapades carrying her last victim, not quite dead yet,
"Did I hear "surprise"?"
Spike glared at her,
"Mind your own business!"
She shrugged,
"Nevermind. Meet Timothy. He's my new playmate."
"What? That's the 5th this month!" Darla looked at her grandson,
"I get bored quickly."
She set the body down against the wall and went back out to feed. Spike walked over to him and shook his head,
"Poor sod. And not even 18. She alway did like the younger ones."