The Other Side of the Fence
By Amai
Disclaimer- Digimon and all its characters
are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are
others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all
wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no
stealing, kiddies.
Author's Notes- Note: The 2nd part of "The Wrong Kind of Right" is up! Okay…Yes, this fic takes place in the future, when they're older. I'm not to proud of this one, so I probably won't continue it. I like the concept, but I don't believe I did to well carrying it out. Oh well…anyway, it starts out depressing, and dark..and if I continue it will pretty much stay that way, until the end. Er…I don't know what else to say about this one…please read and review. I always love to hear what people think of my stories!
Eight 'o clock. But who was
counting? Daisuke looked at his dark coffee. It was shaking because he was.
Eight 'o clock. Only a few minutes until he would have to go…to go to that
horrible, horrible place. He was too fragile, he had seen too much in his
youthful years to absorb this. Why did they have to take him? Why did they have
to frighten him so much? He rocked back and forth in his chair in the kitchen
of the small apartment that he had rented out. Anytime…anytime now.
It wasn't my fault! I didn't
mean it…dammit, I didn't mean it!
He tried to sip out of his mug, using that as a
twisted way to comfort his shaking limps. Anytime…anytime now.
" Leave me alone, Jun- I wish
you'd die…the world doesn't need a pest like you!"
The coffee spilled.
Oh god, Jun…Jun I'm so sorry…I
DIDN'T MEAN IT!
"No…no…don't take me!" Daisuke screamed, holding
his head, the mug cracked on the wooden floor of the kitchen. "I…I…don't want
to go! I didn't do it! I didn't DO IT!" His breathing became shallow as he fell
to the ground, nearly convulsing in his utter fear. "Don't…wanna go…" He felt
the cage go around him. The people surround him. Indescribable faces…except one. Jun. She looked at him with eyes
of pure despair, always whispering the same thing. Over and over. He tried not
to hear, but it came the same every time.
"...left me to die…"
—
Ken usually didn't leave campus
at this time of night, but he had to speak to Daisuke about something. It
wasn't really important, more of his own worries, but Ken couldn't help but
feel there was something wrong with his usually exuberant friend recently. He
seemed…odd, and every time he tried to move his wrist a bit, he would flinch as
if it was hurt or something. Maybe I'm overreacting…Ken mused to himself
as he strode down the busy sidewalk. But he could be hurt, and knowing
Daisuke, he'll just try to cover it up with notebook paper…
Of course, he didn't rule out the fact that
Daisuke's cheerful mood had been thrown down a couple of notches in the past
few years. After his sister's death…he didn't take it well. It had taken a
while to get him out of his seemingly perpetual depression and self-loathing,
as Ken recalled. He sighed. He knew exactly how Daisuke felt…but he refused to
tell anyone about his relationship with his brother before his demise. He
didn't need their pity. He had forgiven himself on his own, and Daisuke had
needed to do the same himself. And he did.
Or rather, that's what Ken had
thought.
He had always wondered why
Daisuke lived alone rather than in one of the dorms in the school. He would
always laugh and say it was because no one would want to wake up buried in all
of his junk, but Ken knew it was because of something else. He couldn't put his
finger on it, though. It seemed like Daisuke was always hiding something when
he spoke. Ken felt a bit hypocritical thinking this, because he was quite the
same. Maybe this was what everyone else thought when they spoke to him…or
Daisuke.
Daisuke was a funny person. Much
like a hurricane, unpredictable. Most of the time you were in the midst of the
storm, the eye of the hurricane. Calm and unknowing. But if anything triggered
him, you would be sent right back into the fray, the winds of his actions
whipping around you, blinding you from seeing his true form. Whatever that was.
Ken doubted anyone really knew how Daisuke really was…although he had to admit,
he probably knew the closest to the mahogany haired boy's true demeanor. After
all, in many ways Daisuke was like him. With Daisuke, Ken felt like could
confess the worst of crimes and still be accepted…well, almost. There were
always the things he didn't want to confess.
He finally reached the tall
building of which his friend resided in, and quietly walked in. It was a nice
place, he admitted. But it didn't seem like something Daisuke would immediately
want. It felt like…he sort of just took any place that was offered to him. Daisuke
had a reason…I know. But maybe he just didn't feel like saying it. Maybe I
should ask him later…
Reaching Daisuke's place, Ken
could hear some inaudible sounds coming from the doorway. Almost like someone
was there with him…What's going on in there!? Ken suddenly became
extremely worried, and hurried to the door, opening it ever so slightly.
The sounds had stopped.
"Daisuke?" Ken called out
softly, his worried expression never changing.
No answer, but the shallow
breaths of one in pain. Ken hastily made his way in, closing the door.
"Daisuke? Are you okay?" Walking into the kitchen, he got his answer.
There was Daisuke, trembling
like a leaf in the wind, with a knife to his hand, slowly trying to cut a gash
into his fingers. Fortunately, Ken could see that the knife had chosen was
quite blunt. But the very fact of what he was trying to do…
"DAISUKE!"
This made the boy cower away,
even more frightened by the sudden loud sound, dropping the knife. His eyes
were clouded with unrecognizing fear. "Don't take me…I told you, it wasn't my
fault…quit screaming at me!" He held his head, as he noises around him became
too much for his ears. He felt hot. They were laughing at him…him in his cage;
suffering for every little thing he had called her. Mocked her, not knowing
that she was one of the most important people in his worthless life. And she
was still there. Still saying those words. "What do you mean?! I…" Beginning to
sob, he realized that he wasn't in the cage anymore. Strong arms pulled him
into their grasp, and he lay there, no longer screaming. "I didn't do it…" He
murmured, weakly, still unaware were he was exactly, just knowing he wasn't there
anymore.
Ken had never seen anything like
that in his life. It had taken a while to get Daisuke to stop thrashing around
enough to grab hold of him. He held Daisuke firmly, but gently, as the mahogany
haired boy calmed down, still murmuring the occasional "I didn't do it..". He had no idea what to do…what had happened
here? The Daisuke that he had seen was nothing like he had ever imagined
the strong-willed boy…a shell of his usual shelf, filled with mindless terror. I
didn't do it…What was he talking about? Daisuke's breathing had become
normal, but he had not moved yet, as he laid Ken's arms. He decided to speak
up, "Daisuke…"
"Where am I…?" His voice sounded
strained, but life was returning to it. Ken's brow furrowed, as he looked at
the formerly cowering boy. "You..don't remember?"
Daisuke tried to move, but Ken
ceased that action. "Don't. I want to know what was happening.."
"I..I don't know what you're
talking about…" But he did. It happened every night. Every night after he had
found out…that Jun had died. She was taking her revenge, taking her revenge by
disturbing his soul. And what sickened Daisuke the most was that…he deserved
it.
…left me to die…
Daisuke shuddered, feeling yet
another tear run down his face. Ken questioned him again, "I'm not letting go
until you tell me…Daisuke, to you know what you were doing?"
"Of course I do. I was trying to
get away…from them…from her.."
"Who?"
Daisuke felt his reserves break,
as he began sobbing, yet again onto Ken's shoulder. "All of them! Those
faces…Jun…god, Jun…I'm so sorry…she hates me now, do you know that? Do you know
that? She's making me suffer.."
"Daisuke…Jun's been dead for
quite a while.." Ken whispered, not liking what he was hearing. What is
wrong with him…?
"And for every day of her death,
she tortures my nights…do you know how long it has been since I've actually
slept? She's in my dreams, Ken…" Daisuke started, to cough, more tears
streaming down his face. "Because it was my fault she died! And she won't leave
me alone for that. She'll never forgive me!" He suddenly pulled away from Ken,
staring him straight into the eye. "I've tried to hide from it..but its been
too long..I can't do it any more. They take me…put me into that cage…" His
breathing had become shallow again, as he glanced around, suddenly very
nervous, "Taunting me…making me feel how she felt every day of her life…making
me feel like how she did when her own damned brother had fucking forsaken her!"
"I…I don't understand Daisuke.."
Ken's eyes were wide. He seriously did not understand what was going on. How
could this happen to Daisuke? Was he really that cracked from her death?
Daisuke thrust his right hand towards Ken.
"You wanna know why I wear those
gloves every day? Why I flinch when you touch my hand? I've tried…so hard…but I
can never do it…I think she wants me to live, and to suffer. But it wasn't my
fault…I didn't kill her…" Ken looked in horror at the revealed cuts and bruises
that covered Daisuke's hand. They were everywhere…except the one vital vein
that if cut, could end it all. Ken grabbed Daisuke yet again, and stroked the
sobbing boy's back, not quite sure what to say.
Once the tears had slowed down,
reduced to small hiccups, Daisuke softly said. "You won't tell anyone this,
would you Ken?"
"What?"
"If they heard that I was seeing
my dead sister…they would send me to one of those loony bins…Ken, please
promise to me you won't tell! Please, Ken…I can trust you…" His voice sounded
urgent.
Ken looked at him, unable to
make a decision. Daisuke was putting all his trust in him, to keep his
secret…but at the same time if he kept a secret, Daisuke would continue to hurt
himself, falling deeper in his twisted depression.
"Daisuke, if I don't tell
someone, you'll hurt yourself even more…" Daisuke's eyes suddenly flashed with
rage. "And who said that if I was sent to an asylum I wouldn't hurt myself
either?"
"They…might not take you to an
asylum…" At this moment, Ken was quite unsure that was true.
"Ken, look at me! Some fool
who's having hallucinations of his dead sister…cutting himself every time it
happens…is that normal? Is that sane?"
Ken couldn't answer that
question.
"Exactly." Daisuke's words were
bordered with pain. "I..I'll find a way to deal with it…I will.."
"No you won't. I know that for a
fact." Ken spoke suddenly, looking Daisuke straight into his tired chocolate
eyes. "What if I said I wouldn't tell anyone if you allowed me to stay with you
until you became…better?" Ken knew he was going to regret this later, but the
trust, the hope that had filled Daisuke's eyes had changed his mind. He
couldn't tell.
Daisuke looked away. "I don't
need your pity."
"Daisuke! I'm not pitying you!
I'm just worried that you'll hurt yourself…you weren't acting all that great
when I came in here. And you said it happens every night. Maybe if you had a
person with you it wouldn't happen. Or at least…I could help you." Ken said this sincerely, glazing at Daisuke.
The other boy let this sink in,
looking back at Ken. "Okay." Somewhere within him, he could feel a little voice
say, Please protect me, Ken…I don't want to go back there…With one last
breath of air, he collapsed on Ken, actually feeling safe from what seemed to
be an eternity.
Ken pulled his sleeping friend
closer to him as he sighed. I don't know if I can do this…but I can break
his trust…He glanced at Daisuke's cut hand, fragile looking, like a glass
with one crack within it.
…Who knows what he would do?