Heir Unapparent: Chapter Two-Summer's End

Heir Unapparent: Chapter 10 - The Halloween Ball

Fall arrived, headier than the glass of wine Hermione had enjoyed at the Gorublianski Hance. The trees glowed red, orange and yellow as if lit from within. Even their heavy course loads could not dampen their spirits as they spent every available golden afternoon helping Hagrid with his zoo. Harry and Ron proved to be dab hands at woodwork and, with the twins' help, managed to finish the barn. They painted it a deep brick red and ended up having a magical paint fight; even Hermione was splattered with the stuff and they were all sent to the showers straight away by a disgusted Filch. Peeves actually looked envious and wished he hadn't missed out on the fun.

Most evenings the boys were kept busy with Quidditch practice. Hermione felt herself missing her quiet library as she and Ginny helped Dobby and Winky with their new enterprise. There was so much to do! By the time their heads hit their pillows, each and every one of them was ready for a sound sleep.

On a brilliant Saturday, the excited student body filled the spectator stands for the first Quidditch match: Griffindor versus Ravenclaw. Lee Jordan took his place, magimegaphone in hand. A Griffindor himself, he proudly sported the golden lion on his scarlet sweater but assured the skeptical Ravenclaw house leader that he'd report a fair game. Stern-faced Minerva McGonagall was there to ensure he did just that.

Lee first introduced the Ravenclaws; Cho Chang and Roger Davies especially drew thunderous applause. Then it was time for the Griffindors. "I give you Alicia Spinnet, Angelina Johnson, Katie Bell, Fred and George Weasley, Harry Potter aaaaaaand new to the Griffindor line-up - Ron Weasley!"

Alicia and Roger shook hands in a sportspersonlike manner and took to the sky with Madam Hooch in pursuit. The balls were released, she blew her whistle and the balls spun up to the playing field. The game kicked into high gear from the get-go, with Katie scoring immediately. The Ravenclaws scored next while Harry and Cho kept their sharp eyes peeled for the golden Snitch.

Lee Jordan's commentary was amusing as always. "What a sensational save by Weasley! Quaffle back to Bell, Spinnet - SCORE by Johnson!" The Griffindors roared their approval as the Quaffle returned to the Ravenclaw offensive. "Whoops! Dangerous Beating there by Fred Weasley - nearly knocked George off his broomstick! Damn!" Jordan winced as McGonagall glared at him. "I mean… SCORE by Davies."

It was a tight game, and after effectively blocking their goalpost from a wild Quaffle driven by Davies, Ron called a timeout. He was breathing like a bellows but looked like he was having the time of his life. "Listen," he gasped. "I've been watching Davies - if we use the Porskoff Ploy, like Krum showed us in practice, we'll blow right past him!"

"What about us?" asked Fred and George in unison, who obviously placed great confidence in their younger brother's strategic abilities.

"You're Beaters, aren't you? So beat! Just don't hit a Bludger at any of us! And Harry, Cho's pattern - if you do a double-feint, you'll outfly her to the snitch!"

"Right," grinned Alicia, glad she had the good sense to recruit Ron Weasley. "Let's do it!"

The Griffindors sprang back into action with Katie in the center, flanked by Alicia and Angelina. As they zoomed down the field, Katie darted upward with the Quaffle, then dropped it to Alicia who, in turn, batted it to Angelina. In a brilliant piece of flying, Angelina spun round, avoiding both the Bludger and Davies, to shoot the Quaffle smartly through Ravenclaw's goalpost.

Lee Jordan was beside himself. "Score by Johnson! Brilliant!"

Meanwhile, Harry spotted the Snitch just beyond Cho, who had also seen the mischievous winged ball dancing in the blue October sky. They both raced toward it, then Harry doubled back while Cho, distracted, overshot her target as the Snitch spun into a downward spiral. In a magnificent swoop, Harry bore down upon it and grabbed it, nearly falling off his broomstick in the process.

Far below, the stands were in an uproar. Harry heard Lee's voice triumphantly crying, "That's it! That's it! The Dream Team has done it, folks! Griffindor has the Snitch and wins by 10 points!"

Hermione and Ginny cheered so hard their hands smarted from clapping. Leaving the field for the locker room, a sweaty Ron spied them in the stands and blew them an enthusiastic kiss.

The next day, Hermione was reading the Daily Prophet, whose front page splashed a photo of a radiant Viktor Krum and his teammates after their route of the Peruvian National Quidditch Team. The copy read, "Our Daily Prophet reporter caught a weary but jubilant Viktor Krum as he came off the field. After congratulating him on his victory, we asked him about his inspiration behind his daring moves against Villanueva. Krum gave a rare smile and replied proudly that he now devotes all his victories to his beloved. Who can the lucky lady be, we wonder?"

Hermione felt her stomach sink. "Damn it," she said aloud, hiding the paper before the boys arrived for breakfast.

Draco Malfoy made his way to the Griffindor table, slapping his copy of the Prophet against his open palm and scowling at her. "You better set this guy straight, Granger. I don't like his line of thinking." He actually looked angry as he continued. "Don't lead him on. I can handle Weasley, but I don't want Krum for a rival."

"What's he on about?" asked Ginny, who took a seat beside Hermione as Malfoy stormed off.

"Here, read this." Hermione took a large gulp of coffee and promptly burned her tongue in the process.

"Oh dear," said Ginny as Hermione sipped cold pumpkin juice to soothe her seared mouth. "Oh dear. Better not let Ron see this…"

Hermione hid her face in her hands. "It doesn't mean it's me!"

Ginny tried to comfort her friend. "Look, maybe you should send him an owl…"

"Saying what? Viktor, don't devote your games to me, if you meant me? I'd sound like an idiot, Ginny! Besides, I should talk to him in person, not send him some crummy 'Dear John' letter…"

Ginny shook her head. "Look, here comes Ron. Don't worry, we'll think of something…"

Ron, still glowing from his own Quidditch victory, sat down and kissed Hermione squarely on her burnt mouth.

"Ouch!" she cried, patting her lips gingerly.

"What? What did I do?" he asked with concern.

"Nothing. I just drank my coffee too fast," she replied quickly.

"Hope you heal quick - the Halloween Ball's next week and I want you in good shape…" he grinned, looking meaningfully at her lips.

She squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I'll be fine, I promise…" and I will tell Viktor something, she told herself silently.

The day of the Halloween Ball finally arrived. Minerva McGonagall was directing a motley crew of students who had volunteered to decorate the Great Hall. Severus Snape watched from the doorway with great amusement as the pumpkin vines they were winding through an enormous trellis kept falling onto her head. With an exasperated sigh, she at last sent them outside to decorate the gardens.

She was in the process of doing the job herself when his voice surprised her. "Oh, Severus! What are you smiling at?"

"You have pumpkin leaves in your hair, Minerva."

"Do I? What happened to my hat?" she asked, feeling the bun at the back of her head and looking around vaguely.

"Here," he picked the hat out from under fallen vines and set it gently on top of her head, smiling down at her.

She eyed him suspiciously. "What are you up to, Professor?"

He shrugged innocently. "I was merely enjoying your… performance. Shall I give you a hand with those vines?"

Minerva chuckled. "Yes, I would dearly love some real help!"

He reached around her and aimed his expert wand at the recalcitrant vines, which began to dance and weave their way through the trellis. "Perhaps you would join me this evening, after the Ball, for a glass of pumpkin wine? I happen to have a rather fine vintage…"

She turned, smiling impishly up at him. "Why, Severus Snape, are you asking me to come down to your dungeon to see your etchings?"

Snape grinned sheepishly. "Well, I suppose so, yes."

"Ah, then no." His heart sank into his polished shoes until she added quickly. "I think I'd rather you come to me, Severus. I suspect my housekeeping abilities surpass your own…"

His black eyes twinkled with relief and elation. "Ah, so you have etchings as well?"

"We'll see. But do bring that wine!"

The day also found Hermione and Ginny busy, scrambling to outfit seventy-five students with their tailor-made costumes. Squeals of delight rang through the corridors as satisfied customers paraded their wares. By six o'clock they had clothed their last client and sagged, exhausted, into chairs in the Winky Wear "studio", a small set of rooms adjacent to the kitchen. Dobby, who seemed to possess unlimited exuberance, clapped his tiny hands joyfully. "We's saved the very best for last, misses!" he told the girls, who looked at him with fatigue in their eyes.

"Dobby, I couldn't get up out of this chair if it were on fire!" protested Hermione. Ginny roundly seconded her sentiments.

"Tut, tut!" chuckled Dobby, pouring each girl a draft from a small bottle. It twinkled in their glasses like champagne, shot through with tiny effervescent bubbles.

"What's this?" asked Ginny, inspecting her glass closely.

"Pumpkin fizzies!" smiled Dobby. "Just the thing for weary limbs and lasses! You sip that, misses, while Winky and I get your gowns!"

The weary girls obeyed and were surprised to find Dobby's instructions quite effective. The pumpkin fizzies were incredibly restorative and they felt much improved as they drained their glasses.

Presently, Dobby and Winky returned, carrying a lovely gown between them. "This is for you, miss," Winky said, smiling shyly at Ginny. The elves had selected an autumn fairy for Ginny's costume, taking their inspiration from her red hair. Silk maple leaves in hues of scarlet, orange and gold shimmered along the slim bodice and full skirt of the dress. Ginny regarded her reflection in amazement as Dobby fluffed the leaves about her and Winky put the finishing touches on her mask.

"Oh, Ginny, you're beautiful!" exclaimed Hermione with delight. Her petite friend was, indeed, a vision of autumn splendor.

"And this is for you, miss!" said Winky with pride as she and Dobby presented Hermione with the loveliest gown she had ever seen. The form-fitting ivory satin emphasized her slim figure, with a pair of pearly wings trailing from her shoulders. "You is an angel, you is, miss!" sniffed Winky as tears brimmed in her huge brown eyes. "I can never thank you enough for bringing me… back to life, miss!"

"Oh, Winky!" cried Hermione, kneeling down to hug her diminutive friend. "You're the angel! This is the prettiest gown I've ever seen!"

Dobby stood back, grinning ear to ear at his beloved 'misses'. "You be sure Colin Creevey takes your picture, misses! So proud of you I am!"

He and Winky waved goodbye as their best-dressed ladies hurried upstairs to the Ball. "A glass of pumpkin fizzy, Winky?"

Winky smiled shyly at him and took his arm. "Yes, Dobby, I think we's earned it!"

Hermione and Ginny arrived at the Ball as it was getting underway. Celestina Warbeck, the famous singing sorceress of WWN's "Witching Hour" was crooning to the accompaniment of Weird Sister and couples were mingling on the dance floor. The collective talent of Winky and Dobby was on display throughout the hall; pirates, damsels, flowers and fairies greeted each other with cries of admiration. "Winky Wear?" "You bet!"

Ginny was quickly swept away by a tall boy wearing the Queen's Guard uniform. Hermione giggled as she watched his fuzzy black helmet bobbing over Ginny's graceful autumn leaves. She scanned the crowd, looking for a tall redheaded Chudley Cannon. She saw shorter versions; Fred was dancing with his usual vigor with the tall Angelina, who was dressed as Cleopatra. Also in orange, George was dancing with Alicia Spinnet, who was wearing rich robes of crimson and gold. Harry, the only dark-haired Chudley Cannon, was dancing so close to Cho Chang, a lovely monarch butterfly, that it was hard to distinguish between his robes and hers.

A boy dressed as Zorro pulled her onto the dance floor as she was craning her neck to find Ron. As she faced him she recognized the icy grey eyes through his mask. "YOU!" she gasped.

Malfoy grinned at her. "Yeah, me! Looks like my collar won't match your outfit but it doesn't matter. You look… real good to me…" and he pulled her close to him.

"Damn it, Malfoy, let me go!"

"Just one dance, Granger. It won't kill you; you wouldn't want to make a scene, now would you?"

Hermione wasn't too sure about that, but she let him steer her around the dance floor, being sure to keep a good six inches of air between them. Malfoy took advantage of the crowded floor and pulled her tightly against him. He lifted her chin in his gloved hand and planted a kiss on her mouth. She clamped her lips shut and tried to twist her face away, but he was persistent. She felt the tip of his tongue against her lips and wanted to spit as he pulled back, regarding her with irritation. "Be a good little pet and cooperate, Granger…" as he pressed his mouth on hers again.

"Excuse me." A thick voice interrupted them. Malfoy looked up irritably as someone tapped him on his shoulder. His eyes opened wide as he beheld the very red and angry face of the usually sallow Viktor Krum. "I vould like to dance vith Hermyowninny, and I vont you to go avay." To emphasize his point, he pulled Malfoy away and stepped in, very close, to Hermione.

"Viktor!" she said with delight and relief.

He stood protectively against her and held Malfoy off with his powerful forearm, glaring at the younger wizard. "I believe I haff asked you to go avay," he said tightly.

Malfoy, stunned, had no immediate response. He stood there, looking very put out before he muttered, "Just trying to be friendly…"

Viktor put his arms around Hermione and danced her away from Malfoy, retorting, "I don't like your vay ov being friendly." He looked at Hermione closely. "Are you allright, Hermyowninny?"

Hermione sighed in his arms. "Yeah, thanks, Viktor! You came along just in time…"

He pressed her head into his shoulder and hugged her tightly to him. "He is a… a volf, Hermyowninny. I vant you to stay far avay from him!"

She had to agree with him. "I'm trying to, Viktor, but he's so damn pushy!"

She heard Viktor's angry breath in her ear. "Then I vill be pushy vith HIM. I don't like little boys bothering my Hermyowninny."

Uh-oh, she thought. HIS Hermyowninny? This was going to be difficult… She perused the crowded room for Ron. He would have flattened Malfoy for his impudence, but he wouldn't care for the way Viktor was holding her either. She simply had to talk to Viktor and tell him…

Madame Hooch interrupted their dance. Not surprisingly, she was dressed as a Quidditch referee. "Ah, there you are, Viktor! So glad you could make it to our little soiree! What a coup you had against Peru! We'll be reading all about you in the Quidditch Annals, no doubt! Dear, you wouldn't mind if I stole your partner, would you? We need to discuss some Quidditch Tournament business."

It was obvious to Hermione that Viktor would rather dance with her than talk about Quidditch, but Madam Hooch was insistent. "Oh, sure, no problem," she said quickly.

Viktor pressed her hand tightly as he was led away by Hooch. "I vill see you later, Hermyowninny?"

"Yes, of course!" she replied, albeit she felt great relief that she had a few minutes to gather herself before Ron found her.

Which he did presently. They met as he was going toward the dance floor and she was leaving it. He looked quite dashing as a Chudley Cannon, despite the fact that the pumpkin robe clashed disastrously with his hair.

"Wow! Is that you, Hermione?" He looked her up and down approvingly. She had to admit that Ron's once-over did not trouble her the way Malfoy's had. No, it did not trouble her at all; she felt a certain warmth spreading from her hairline to her stomach. She smiled at his warm regard and threw her arms around his neck. Delighted, he grabbed her around the waist and swung her onto the dance floor. "You're gorgeous," he whispered in her ear.

She hugged him tightly. "You look pretty good yourself!"

The dance was a slow one and she closed her eyes, letting herself relax as he held her tightly in his arms. She was so content she did not notice Zorro and Marie Antoinette aka Pansy Parkinson, waltzing by. "Fast worker, you are, Granger! Save me another dance, okay doll?"

Pansy scowled at her furiously and Ron, holding her away from him to see her face, had the same expression. "What does he mean, another dance? Has that bastard been bothering you again?" She felt his arms stiffen with anger.

She soothed him by kissing him lightly on his lips. "It's okay, Ron. I got away from him pretty fast."

Ron, somewhat appeased by the kiss, pulled her close again. "Well, just keep away from him."

"Uh-oh," she muttered into Ron's ear. "Here he comes for another pass…"

"I've got an idea!" said Ron, grabbing her hand and swiftly fleeing the dance floor. He led her out of the hall into the gardens.

The air was cool, especially after the heat of the crowded hall. Hermione shivered slightly.

Ron noticed and pulled her close. "Cold?"

"Mmm. Not too bad now…" she sighed.

"Wait a minute. I know I can do better than that!" He pulled her into a leafy bower overgrown with huge pumpkin leaves, which shielded them from the view of passersby. Despite the comparative peace of the gardens, they could hear soft murmurs and giggles drifting on the night air. Ron grinned at her, "Guess we're not alone."

Hermione smiled as she felt his arms slide around her. She reciprocated and wound her arms around his neck as he bent his head to hers.

Thus far, their kisses had been fleeting and environmentally appropriate, given the fact that they had been exchanged in the Burrow hallway or in crowded rooms at Hogwarts. This kiss left all the others behind.

When they came up for air, Ron looked around and laughed. "Hey, we're in the alcove I saw Fleur Delacour and Roger Davies in, at the Yule Ball!"

"Bet you wished you were Roger Davies that night!" teased Hermione.

"Actually, I wanted to be Viktor Krum that night."

Hermione blushed at his admission; she had known all along, but to hear him admit it made her heart ache for him. "And now?"

"Now? I'm glad I'm Ron Weasley, right here, with you…"

Hermione positively twinkled. "You say the sweetest things, Ron Weasley."

His eyes sparkled like sapphires before he closed them and pulled her in for a much deeper kiss.

While Ron and Hermione were snuggling in their leafy bower, Ginny watched miserably as Harry and Cho Chang danced together. Harry was holding her close and Cho was smiling up at him. Ginny felt the salt of tears stinging her eyes. She bit her lip to fight them back and decided she might as well go back to Griffindor tower. She couldn't stand to look on while the boy she adored fell in love with someone else.

"Ginny? Would you dance with me?" She turned and saw a young wizard, just a hair taller than she, dressed as a masked highwayman.

Sniffing back her tears, she nodded. The boy led her to the dance floor and started to guide her into a gentle waltz. She looked into his eyes and gasped. "Neville? Is that you?"

He smiled shyly back at her. "Yeah. Surprised I'm not stepping all over your feet this time?"

She returned his shy smile. "You weren't that bad!"

"Oh, yes I was. So rotten, in fact, that it took me all of summer vacation to learn how to do this. And it isn't much…"

Ginny smiled brightly at him, melting his heart. "Oh, yes it is. I think… I think it's just grand!"

Neville then did a very un-Nevilleish thing. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her gently on her forehead. "You're grand, Ginny."

Surprised and pleased, Ginny hugged him back. "So are you, Neville, so are you." She closed her eyes and let him lead her around the crowded floor. She didn't even notice that Harry and Cho danced right by them.

Meanwhile, Harry was not having as peaceful a time with Cho Chang as Ginny assumed. It was not for lack of company that Harry was uneasy; his partner was divine. It was Professor Sprout's partner that troubled him. Sprout, dressed appropriately as a mandrake, was dancing with an outlandishly garbed King Henry VIII, whom Harry recognized as Cornelius Fudge. What was he doing here? Since Fudge had openly disagreed on the future direction of resistance to Voldemort with Dumbledore, Harry had doubted the pudgy Minister of Magic would deign to step foot on Hogwarts soil again. Perhaps the recent death toll of witches had changed his mind?

He purposefully danced Cho over to where he could overhear Fudge talking to Professor Sprout. "No, Madam, I assure you, there is nothing to fear. There have been no… deaths… since poor Rachel Greene was discovered. Not far from Knockturn Alley, as it turns out. We have been able to rule out foul play as you have suggested. No, a simple albeit tragic robbery was the cause of her demise…"

No way, thought Harry angrily. Percy had seen her unmarked body. Was Fudge really so blind? If so, Charlie's assessment was right on - Fudge was an idiot. An idiot in a powerful position…

Shortly after midnight, the revelers headed back to their respective houses. Minerva McGonagall had slipped away a bit earlier, to see to last-minute details for her upcoming rendezvous with Severus Snape. Her heart skipped a beat as she heard a quiet knock on her door.

She opened it and smiled warmly at her gentleman caller. He had paid careful attention to his appearance; his hair and beard were neatly combed and he smelled deliciously of sandalwood. He stepped across her threshold and offered her the bottle of pumpkin wine. "Oooh!" Minerva eyed the label, impressed. "1947 - quite a year, I understand!"

Snape opened the bottle, then made himself comfortable on the sofa with her. Minerva felt like a schoolgirl as he filled her glass. She looked into his eyes over its rim. His twinkled back at her. "A good year, yes?"

She nodded. Taking the glass from her and setting it on the table before them, he ran his arm along the sofa behind her. "I am glad you suggested we meet here, Minerva," he began. "Your apartments are much more pleasant than mine. What is it that smells so good?"

"Perhaps it's the cinnamon; I put a few sticks on the fire. But I thought it was you," she said, smiling. "I am especially fond of sandalwood…"

He leaned closer to her. "Are you indeed? I am pleased I made the right selection…"

The next instant, his lips were on hers. She sighed and relaxed in his arms. To her pleasant surprise, he had quite a flair for kissing. She felt his long fingers skillfully release her hair from its imprisoning French knot. "Oh, Severus," she murmured and he kissed her again. Deeply.

Their embrace was, sadly, to be a brief one. "DAMNATION!" cursed Snape, removing his left arm from her shoulders.

Minerva, her hair falling in loosened tendrils about her face, sighed. "Don't tell me…"

At the door, he paused. Turning, his dark eyes met hers. "Might I hope, when this… unpleasantness… has been dealt with…"

Her smile was his answer. "I shall return presently." I hope, he added silently.

Snape stalked off the Hogwarts grounds and disapparated with fury. He always hated these encounters but tonight… to be dragged from the welcoming arms and warm lips of his newfound love… It was too much. Keeping her in mind, he sought to end the interview as soon as possible.

The object of his ire sat in his customary chair, stroking his hideous Nagini. He looked the picture of warped domestic comfort. The bastard, thought Snape.

"Ah, Severus. How kind of you to come out on this festive holiday evening."

"My lord." Severus bowed his head and cursed the day his foot ever slipped onto Voldemort's dark path.

"You recall it was on this dark day, fourteen years ago, that my power was broken upon that Potter whelp. I had rather hoped that, to avenge my wrongs, you would have brought me a lovely young gift?"

Severus sighed. "I regret, my liege, that I have no such person - as yet. I felt it best to be… selective… given the nature of your intentions…"

Voldemort was not heeding his excuses. Instead, he was sniffing the air. Not again, thought Snape with disgust. But an enormous evil grin broke across Voldemort's repulsive face. "My dear Severus. What on earth are you doing with your spare time? You smell like an apothecary! Don't tell me you've finally got a leg over that spinster McGonagall?"

Snape blanched with outrage. To hear his beloved's name on those evil lips… He clenched his hands and ground his teeth to keep from venting his growing hatred.

"Pity she's still on Dumbledore's side. Perhaps you can convince her of the folly of her ways, in a moment of sublime passion?" He sat back in his chair and looked quite amused. Snape looked at the pointed toes of his black shoes and concentrated on taking deep breaths lest he leap forward and throttle the demon, which could only result in his own demise. "My, my," continued Voldemort with an evil drawl. "Love is certainly in bloom at Hogwarts! I understand filthy young Potter has a little friend. Why not her, Severus? Yes, most fitting, I think. I want you to bring me Potter's little butterfly. She would be most suitable!"

Severus paled but kept his voice steady. "I believe she is a Ravenclaw, my liege. It will be most difficult. Their rules are not as lenient as ours in Slytherin…"

"My dear Severus, I cheated death itself, which was by far a more formidable task than that which I have set for you. Figure it out! And bring me the girl! Go, now and…" he gave Snape his foulest grin. "do give my regards to your lovely Minerva!"

Snape barely genuflected to kiss his vile robes before disapparating. Voldemort sat quite still, pondering their discussion as he stroked Nagini's flat skull. At last, he stirred and hissed. "Wormtail!"

His servant appeared instantly and, as always, groveled. "I grow impatient. I believe it is time I bring in our Ministry ally; I have summoned him accordingly. See to it that you bring him to me immediately upon his arrival."

Minerva McGonagall was nursing a glass of pumpkin wine, trying ineffectually not to worry about Severus Snape. There was a soft tap on her door, and she ran to open it.

Her relieved smile faded when she saw the haggard look on Snape's face. A spark of appreciation lit his dark eyes as he beheld her "en dishabille" but he sighed deeply, stepped across the threshold and said, "Best get your robe, Minerva."

She began to wind her hair back into its signature knot. "We're off to see Albus, of course?"

Snape helped her into her black robe, pausing to kiss the bare skin at the nape of her neck. She turned in his arms and kissed him warmly, as if to melt away any memories of his icy encounter with Voldemort. All too soon, he broke their embrace. "Come, my love. The sooner we finish this macabre business, the sooner we can… resume…"

Taking the arm he held out for her, she sighed and they made their way to the office of Albus Dumbledore. Along the way, Snape felt a growing sense of unease. Was Draco Malfoy informing his father of events at Hogwarts, or was there another weak link in their already fragile chain?

To be continued, of course…