"STORMS ON THE SEA" part two
Amidala walked through the halls of the Jedi Temple. She was to meet Obi-Wan for stim- tea, like they used to when she was single. On her way, she passed many classes of Jedi Apprentices, all of whom nodded at her and politely called her 'Mrs. Skywalker.' When she passed a class of toddlers, many ran over to her, and jumped around, yelling things out. The Padawan teacher looked exasperated--not very disciplined, these young ones. But Amidala laughed, and told the children that they had to go back with their teacher.
Amidala smiled as she continued down the hall, filled with anticipation. In about 6 months, she and Anakin were expecting their first child. Both of them loved children and could hardly wait. She finally reached the small cafe. Upon entering, Amidala did her best to hide her amusement. The Jedi tried to make the cafe normal, but Amidala had never seen a stim-tea house almost entirely quiet, with sober customers, many of whom were meditating.
*Definately not like Beru's place* Amidala thought with a pang. She had only known Beru for a few months, but she had liked her. When Beru and Owen left forever to hide from the Sith, Amidala felt that she had lost a good friend. Obi-Wan looked up and smiled as Amidala sat down across from him.
"You look happy."
"I haven't been this excited in years! There's something energetic about being around so many young people, ready to learn."
Obi-Wan nodded. He too had enjoyed teaching the young apprentices. He commented, "And you will soon take your place among the teachers after you complete your training."
Amidala nodded happily. She had already been serving as a curriculum advisor for the apprentices. Recently the Jedi Council had agreed to admit her among the instructors. Her status as a Jedi wife made that feasible. Many Jedi who married outside the order made similar arrangements for their spouses. Amidala could not help but notice how few of them there were.
"Why don't more Jedi marry?" Amidala asked her friend.
"I'm not sure," Obi-Wan's clear eyes were momentarily pensive, "I know for myself that it was never really a question."
"You never thought about marriage?"
"No, Obi-Wan answered. "I wanted to be a Jedi and to truly be at the disposal of the order and the people, one must be single. The Code won't explicitly forbid marrying, yet one cannot serve on the Council while being married."
Amidala was silent under this. A sacrifice Anakin had made for her.
Obi-Wan went on, "And though I certainly admire, and am frequently attracted to, various women--including you at one time if you remember. . ."
Amidala blushed.
" . . . But marriage? No. With Anakin, it was different. He knew from the moment he met you that you would be his wife. He is so force senstitive that it was a foregone conclusion. The question with you two was when, not if." Obi-Wan took a sip of tea. "And now he has you, a daughter on the way, and you willing to be his partner in the Jedi work. It seems like this all was tailor made for you."
"Yes. We have been lucky," Amidala commented. "How will I continue with my studies under Anakin?"
"Most likely you will accompany him off-world on his missions and study as you go along, as Padawans do," Obi-Wan explained.
She laughed, "So will I have to call him Master?"
"Ami, that's a place I don't want to go!" Both laughed.
Amidala then said more soberly, "And it would mean that we would not have to be separated when Ani's on a mission."
"Exactly," Obi-Wan nodded.
Amidala was about to ask another question when her face froze.
"What is it?" Obi-Wan asked, alarmed. He sensed fear and pain. "Nothing." Amidala breathed.
"The child?"
Rising panic was in Amidala's voice, "Obi-Wan, get me to the med-center, quickly!"
*****
Anakin was sitting in the hallway of the med-center, his head in his hands. The words of the droid seemed far away. "Common in first pregnancies, surgery needed . . . may never conceive again . . ."
Before he knew what he was doing, Anakin reached out with the Force and crushed the droid into a pile of scraps.
*****
"Report."
Augus briefed Chancellor Palpatine, "The evidence would suggest that the attack on the shopping areas was precipitated by a fringe terrorist group. There is no evidence that it was a planned act of war."
"Really?" Palpatine asked curiously.
Anabelle looked at her husband and thought contemptuously, *You fool, you've just signed your own death warrent.*
"But there is somebody arming the Mandolorians," Augus continued. "We must . . ." "You will probe no further," Palpatine cut him off, "and you will speak of this to nobody." Augus' eyes widened, a little alarmed at Palpatine's tone.
*My Master is talking to Augus like he talks to me* Anabelle thought.
"It is a matter of security," Palpatine said more gently, "we need to discuss this in committee. You and Anabelle are to return to Coruscant."
The Jedi bowed in respect to the hologram before it disappeared.
***** Anakin was called to Master Depa Belluba's chamber. Matter-of-factly she informed him that another war may break out against the Mandolorians. To stop this, or determine the Republic's course of action, Anakin was sent to attend a conference on Naboo. Amidala would accompany him.
"As my apprentice?" Anakin asked.
"Yes. And to recover from her miscarriage," the master eyed Anakin, observing. "You both need to recover. I order you to arrive in Naboo a week early for a vacation."
*****
The lights of Theed slightly illuminated the path as Anakin and Amidala walked along the river on the cobblestone streets, hand in hand. Amidala's hair was down, pulled back from her face with a modest ribbon. The rest of her hair was frizzy and curly, falling down her back, over her navy blue gown and pink transparent cape. Anakin's hair was cut short now and he was not in Jedi clothing. It was becomming more popular among the Jedi to dress like everyone else since the Jedi had come under attack for their exclusivity. Chancellor Palpatine had congratulated the Jedi on their recent concessions in that matter. Amidala wore a diamond bracelet that Anakin had given her for her birthday. Her 27th.
"I feel about twice that age," she sighed to Anakin.
"You don't look it," he grinned.
"Appearances can be deceiving," she said wrily. The operation had drained her, Anakin's brow puckered. He was worried about her. She went on, "but I am glad that the occasion was celebrated with little fanfare."
"Except for me."
"You had the honor." She smiled, her face flushed.
"It's good to see you smile. You haven't a lot lately."
"With good cause."
They had stopped and were sitting on the stone wall by the river. Moonlight shimmered over the lapping water.
Amidala leaned over and kissed him. Anakin held her closely, thinking how much he loved her, his family. Then anger came over him. His grip became tighter on her, but Amidala knew it was not out of passion.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Can you really ask that?" Anakin stood up, not looking at her.
"Anakin?
He whirled around, "It seems that nothing ever seems to go right with us. There are many people who don't give a rat's behind whether they have kids. We want some, and this happens." A pause, then very low. "I can't remember a time when I wasn't losing someone I love."
Amidala answered wearily, "Ani, life is suffering. As a Jedi you should know that!"
"But that doesn't mean I have to like it."
"Nobody does, but you can't avoid suffering."
"Tell me about it!" He snapped.
Amidala's eyes began turning to steel, "You have to accept it, Ani. "
Anakin looked down at his wife, "I'm a little sick of being told to accept everything, become a victim of everyone else's bad decisions."
"Victim? Never!" Amidala responded firmly. "We suffer, but are not victims. We fight back. It's a moral obligation to defend oneself."
Silence. Amidala's words did not soothe him, but almost made him more angry. He was surprised to find that he was tempted to kick down the wall.
He counted to ten: "We shouldn't have named the baby yet," he commented softly. "Then it would be more . . ."
"Impersonal?" Amidala asked.
"Yes. We gave her my mother's name . . ."
"And now losing her reminds you of your mother's violent death on Tatooine?"
Anakin cringed. "You always have to be so blunt."
"I don't like to be," Amidala replied. "But I don't wish to hide unpleasantness behind pretty words. The greatest of evils use that tactic. If what I said is what you are feeling and thinking, Ani, call it by it's name!"
She was crying, the rings seemed more pronounced around her eyes. Anakin felt ashamed of himself. Amidala was suffering too, more so since she had the physical as well as the psycological pain. He was being selfish, only thinking of himself. Lately, he hardly knew himself.
He embraced her. "I'm sorry. If I could have my one wish, it would be to make all pain go away, whatever the cost, whatever the sacrifice, and bring order and safety to this crazy galaxy."
Amidala nodded against his shoulder, "I hate war too. And I fear that this one will be far worse than the last."
Anakin looked down at his wife in surprise. "I sense that too. Are you sure you're not Force-sensitive?"
Amidala laughed, "Yes. But let me tell you a secret: us 'normal' people have blessings from the Force too, in many ways better than the Jedi, for we see it in a more simple way. We see the Force in the ordinary things."
Anakin smiled down at her, "My wise Angel."
She playfully punched his arm, "I told you not to call me that!"
"No, you said sometimes you didn't mind! Will you give a guy a break?"
She laughed and kissed him playfully, but felt . . . She pulled back, standing on her tip-toes to smooth his hair and asked, "What else?"
Anakin looked down, trying to avoid her gaze.
"Tell me," she gently urged.
He got the courage to meet her gaze and speak his greatest fear to her, "There is one loss from which I don't think I could ever recover." He placed his hands on her shoulders, tight. "Ami, sometimes I think of losing you, and it nearly kills me."
Amidala met his worried gaze, "Well get over it, Ani. You can lose anyone, at any time."
He shook his head.
"At any time," she repeated. "And I could lose you."
"Never," he said passionately.
"What? Jedi don't die?" she asked a little sarcastically.
Anakin replied, "If I did, I'd come back to you . . ."
Something in his gaze frightened her. "Ani," she asked soflty, "what would you do if you lost me?"
A silence.
"Let's forget it," Anakin dodged the question. "This is dark talk."
"Yes," she said wearily, giving up . . . for now. "And I am tired."
They walked back to the hotel. Once in their room, Anakin scooped her up in his arms, and carried her to bed where he undressed her like she was a child. He tucked her in before slipping in beside her, and they fell asleep in peace.
*****
That night Anakin woke up with a start.
"What is it?" Amidala asked, sitting up beside him.
"A dream. I was somewhere else. We were married, but I wasn't a Jedi. And that was a good thing because I should not have been trained. Since that was good, I'm now in the bad world, where I am a Jedi . . ."
A chill went through Amidala.
"Ani, it was just a dream."
"And in this world, I'll lose you," he continued as if he didn't hear her, "And I won't care! I won't care because I won't want you anymore."
"Ani, you'll make yourself sick with this. You're just upset, our earlier conversation . . ."
Anakin shook his head, "It was so real." "Dreams usually seem so." He whispered, "I won't want you anymore . . ." He buried his head in his hands and shook. Amidala touched his hand, it was ice.
She touched his face. "There's nothing to be afraid of!" Shook him a little, "Ani, I mean it! Stop letting it get to you."
She hugged him, gave him soothing words. He quaked in her arms and lay down, his head on her chest. She smoothed his hair, as though he were a child.
He kept mumbling, "I won't want you anymore."
And she kept replying, "It was just a dream."
*****
The leaders of many worlds met facing each other in a large circle. King Ratiche of Naboo read aloud the report from the Jedi Ambassadors. There was ample evidence that the Mandolorians were arming. Couple this with the attack, for which they had taken full responsibility, Palpatine recommended that a military action to disarm the Mandolorians was a neccessity.
After much debate and a unanimous vote, the conference agreed to authorize their senators to vote for a declaration of war.
The conference ended the session by observing a moment of silence in memory of Jedi Augus Jade.
*****
There was a buzz in Coruscant.
The Academy students were all training at their best, and there were many patriotic speeches broadcast over the holo-news. If the Republic was going to fight against slavery, then they would have the full support of the citizens. Anakin and his friend Bail were reunited. The latter would again take up his command with General Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Anakin, as before, would serve as a captain in the Fleet.
In this rank, Anakin spent days on end testing his men in simulations and flight exercises. Seeing them perform to their utmost potential, and experiencing the indefinable family bond that exists among squadrons, Anakin felt an exhileration, an adrenaline rush that he hadn't felt since he lost his child.
He was happy.
*****
Amidala too was happy. She was teaching classes to the Jedi Apprentices, under the supervision of Anabelle Jade. Anabelle was recovering from her husband's death, and thereby wearing the black robes of mourning. Her pain was compounded when she discovered she was having a child. When Anabelle confessed this to Amidala, she seemed afraid.
"Please don't distress yourself," Amidala pleaded kindly, "children are a blessing. You have always been strong. I'm sure the baby will be safely delivered."
Anabelle nodded, not telling Amidala the real reason for her fear.
*****
Anabelle knelt before her Master.
"I am ordering you to active action with Anakin Skywalker," Palpatine instructed her. "I want you by his side at every moment. I won't tell you details yet, but I have something planned for the battle . . . " he stopped and angrily accused, "You are not listening, my young apprentice!"
"Forgive me, Master," Anabelle mumbled.
"Speak up! I can't hear you." Venom was in his voice. Anabelle felt horror washing over her.
She gathered her courage and said quickly, "Master, it seems, that despite my efforts to the contrary, I have conceived a child."
Silence. "What are we going to do with you now?" Palpatine said slowly after a minute. The voice was deceptively gentle and sounded like broken glass.
Then Anabelle truly knew what fear was.
*****
Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Amidala went to Bail and Micaeli's for a night of cards and fun.
Micaeli and Amidala broke off from the men for some stim-tea and 'girl talk.' "Like the old times, when we were younger, a little dumber," Micaeli laughed.
Amidala answered, "I also feel a sense of having done all this before, in the first war."
"Yes, but this time it's different. The Mandolorians are arming, but they are not as strong as they once were," Micaeli filled her friend's cup with stim-tea.
Amidala shook her head, "Ani doesn't think so."
"Ani isn't the only spokeman for the Almighty Force!"
Amidala replied low, "No, but . . ."
"Ami, I want you to listen carefully to me," Micaeli interrupted softly. "Don't start being negative. It will eat at you and make you weak and bitter."
Amidala nodded. For a minute they listened to the men laughing and talking.
"They seem almost happy that there's another war," Amidala commented sadly.
"I don't think that's it, nobody likes war," Micaeli sighed and took a sip from her own cup. "But sometimes we feel relief during such conflicts because, for a brief moment in time, we fight an enemy we can see."
Amidala looked at Micaeli curiously.
She explained, "In our everyday lives we all feel an enemy--be it pain, the Dark Side, heartbreak, financial troubles, fear of slavery returning. But there's nothing we can *do* about it. So we all live day to day a little insecure and neurotic. But when we have a common, visable enemy, one that we can strike and kill with our own hands . . . Well, then there's a little bit of order in our world."
"Paid with the price of war?" Amidala asked.
Micaeli shrugged, "That's the cruel part, because this happiness we feel in war is an illusion. War and injustice--injustice always happens in war--is far worse than the monotony of life's little miseries. But again and again, we fall for the trap, because we prefer the illusion. It feels better."
"Feels better." Amidala nodded, "That would explain how . . ."
"How?" Micaeli asked.
"Anakin and I have been a lot happier since war was declared. Our love life, too, has improved," she looked down, a little embarrassed. "But we shouldn't need a war to solve our problems."
"We don't," Micaeli embraced her friend. "If we remember that, no matter what the outcome, we will win this war."
*****
The night before he left, Anakin and Amidala held each other intimately, renewing their love, their marriage covenant . . . swearing themselves to each other forever.
*****
"Anabelle!" Anakin exclaimed as he saw his friend and comrade sitting in the briefing room. "What are you doing here?"
"I was assigned to strategy and intelligence," she answered.
Anakin noticed something wrong with Anabelle. She was pale, haggard.
"Anabelle," he looked at her, worried, "you are looking after the child aren't you?"
"Yes. We're fine." Anabelle smiled at him. "Thank you for your concern."
Anakin patted her shoulder in encouragement, and sat down. The lights in the room went dim as the briefing began.
But Anabelle was not concentrating on the up-coming battle. She was pre-occupied with something she saw in Anakin's face, his concern and . . .
Of course! The answer came with amazing clarity. Why hadn't she thought of it before?
Not in war would her Master defeat Anakin, and not as a comrade and Jedi would she help turn him.
Anabelle smiled in joy and relief.
She had found the way to restore her Master's favor.
*****
"Yes, yes," Palpatine mused, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He looked down at Anabelle, waving a hand, "I give you permission to proceed with the proposed course of action, so long as . . ."
Anabelle looked up when Palpatine hesitated. "Yes, Master?"
He pointed a finger, "No harm is done to the child. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Master."
"Do not fail me in this," Palpatine warned, "I have plans for Mara."
"Mara?" Anabelle asked.
"Yes, that's the name I've given the child."
Anabelle bowed her head, "As you wish, Master."
Palpatine dismissed his apprentice and smiled.
Everything was going as he had foreseen.
*****
An hour before they left for the battle, Obi-Wan, Bail and Anakin met for breakfast. They sucked down caff like it was water.
"Like we need anything to pump us up!" Bail exclaimed.
Anakin laughed, but Obi-Wan was pensive, "I still find it ironic."
"That we are fighting another battle on Naboo?" Anakin asked.
Obi-Wan nodded. The battle of Naboo was a painful memory.
Bail mused, "Why is it the peaceful planets that are the first targets?"
"Because by their pacifism, they leave themsleves vulnerable," Anakin answered.
Bail complained, "And then it's up to us to go and intervene--protect the innocent and ensure peace for the galaxy!"
"Right you are Bail," Anakin replied cheerfully, "And I propase a toast . . ."
"With caff?" Bail asked.
Anakin ignored him, "To the best friends a man can have, and to lasting peace and order in our galaxy."
"I'll drink to that," Obi-Wan said.
A voice over the intercom announced that it was time to leave. Anakin shook Bail's hand, then turned to Obi-Wan. He gave him a friendly salute and said, "See you at the palace, Master!"
Obi-Wan returned the salute and smiled, "May the Force be with you, my Padawan!"
And for the last time the three men parted as friends.
*****
It was hell. Explosions burst all around Anakin, and it seemed that the Mandolorian forces were endless--clones no doubt. Yet Anakin's pilots expertly flew through the mass of fire and explosions to beat back the enemy.
The elation that comes with battle coursed through Anakin, when . . . The thought hit him: The ground assault. They were losing ground . . . and Obi-Wan . . . he was down.
*NOOOOOOO* he heard in his mind, but it wasn't his voice. It was his master's, the cry Obi-Wan gave when he saw Qui-Gon cut down. Anakin's eyes began to blur as rage began to consume him.
*No indeed, Master* He would not accept it. Not this time. Good people lost too often. His mother, his baby, his master. Sick of the pain.
*Not this time.*
Anakin began to stretch out with the Force and for an instant he remembered lessons from Master Yoda warning him about using too much of the Force.
*But it's for a good purpose* Anakin spoke to Yoda, as though the master was there with him.
*No, Ani. No turning back now* he said to himself. Anakin summoned more Force power than he had ever dared.
It happened.
The commander of the of the Mandolorian ground assault was under Anakin's control. The enemy's mind scrambled. Anakin responded by using more energy to allow that confusion to spread . . . and spread. The Mandolorian forces fell out in choas.
*And it is so easy!* No sooner had that thought entered Anakin's head than he ordered his men to swoop in and obliterate as many of the Mandolorians as possible.
*****
No moonlight shimmered over the water as Anakin knelt on the banks where he and Amidala had shared their first kiss. No moon would ever be seen on Naboo again.
Anakin had his victory. He destroyed those who hurt his loved ones, and avenged Obi-Wan's death. But at what cost? The fire-power Anakin ordered concentrated on Naboo had destroyed the planet's ecosystem. Naboo was doomed to a quick death.
Anakin shuddered as he thought how he would have to explain that to his wife. He shook his head. *No.*
He could not be honest and tell her that he had inadvertently destroyed the planet she loved. She had had enough pain in her life. She would not be reminded of Naboo everytime she looked at her husband.
The old Anakin would have told her the truth, but not the strong one, the one who was no longer a victim.
Perhaps he could find a way to reverse the process. Anakin returned to Theed and tried to gather the Jedi present to summon power to undo the damage to the planet. But Master Yoda, arriving after the battle with other members of the Council, forbade him, insisting that using that much of the Force would bring them too close to the Dark Side.
Mace Windu sensed Anakin's rage and calmly addressed him, "You did a great deal of harm. You cannot cover it up, Jedi Skywalker, you must face the consequences." Anakin's head bowed, but not in shame or respect for his elders. Mace Windu continued, "You will return to Coruscant where we will address the matter at the Temple."
Anakin then realized how much he must have had violated the Code.
*But I stopped the Mandolorians. Good was accomplished.* Yoda rebuked him, "So your own council you keep on your actions?"
"No, Master." Anakin answered.
It was the first lie he had told in his life.
*****
Later Anakin was waiting for the shuttle which contained Chancellor Palpatine. He was unsettled by the scene with Yoda and Mace Windu. They had given him a strong rebuke. It almost hurt, but then Anakin Skywalker no longer accepted pain.
He thought about the Jedi Council. Why were they so arrogant as to order him around? Who was it for they to tell him not to use too much of the Force? Did they know his thoughts, his conscience?
Indeed, he had followed the rules all his life and all it brought him and the galaxy was pain. Anakin thought of his hero, Qui-Gon Jinn. He was right after all. The Force was about following one's heart over the Council. *I will do what I must* He felt warmth and insight. Perhaps Qui-Gon had seen the future when he said that to Obi-Wan so long ago. Maybe the Will of the Force was to collapse all hierarchy in the Jedi Order and make every Jedi follow a code each created for themselves. No longer one code for all!
Yes, Qui-Gon--Anakin--was seeing the future. The demise of the Council. It was coming. It was the Will of the Force. He was certain and he did not hear Anabelle Jade come up to kneel beside him.
"I feel the same way," she said gently.
There was no need to ask Anabelle what she meant. Anakin replied, "Let's see what we can do then. Will you help me save Naboo?"
Anabelle placed her hand on his shoulder and shook her head, "No. That's not what we need to do now."
"But we could try?"
Then Anakin felt a strange energy enter him, and he knew it. Now was not the time, not yet. He tingled all over. Was he touching the Dark Side? He shook off the thought.
Anakin looked towards Anabelle and saw her green eyes fixed on him. He felt a little uneasy, but that feeling he also ignored for she was on his side. That was all that mattered now.
"Come," Anabelle invited, "Chancellor Palpatine is waiting for us on his shuttle. We're going home."
"Yes," Anakin answered, almost absently, "back to Coruscant. I will return, as Master Windu ordered, but not in the way the Council expects it."
*****
Anakin was on the shuttle, Chancellor Paplatine and Anabelle Jade beside him. He looked down at the towering buidings of Coruscant. The victory had been almost complete, though intelligence was saying that the Mandolorians were planning a counter-assault. But that didn't matter to Anakin. His eyes were fixed on the crowds assembled to meet him. They were celebrating his deeds. The crowd was there because of him and what he had accomplsihed by following--the Force?--his feelings.
He barely remembered that Amidala would be among the throngs.
"Nothing beats this, does it?" Palpatine asked, breaking the silence.
Anakin looked again at the cheering crowds and felt their energy bounce off him. It was intoxicating. He did not answer the Chancellor.
He did not need to.
Anakin looked behind him and saw Anabelle smiling at him. She mouthed the word "Victory." Anakin returned her smile, happy that she was his ally.
*Qui-Gon would be proud of us* he thought.
He walked down the ramp and saw her. Amidala. His angel. A grin came over his face.
The holo-cameras were ready when she ran up to him and gave him a welcome-home kiss. Anakin returned the embrace, but barely felt her lips on his. The emotions from the crowd were too overwhelming.
Anakin also sensed Palpatine and Anabelle. The latter was sending energy into him, which he willingly received. He let his emotions flow back to her, even as he held his wife, and then to Palpatine. Something powerful was coming into his being.
He liked it.