Trojan Horse – Part IV: Broken Faith
~
I'm sorry this took so long. I got very stuck at one point, and I had to re-write this part several times. And I was working very hard on Farther Shore up till recently.
~
'At last. Look at this, Moony. Dumbledore just got them. They're really weird.' Sirius thrust a sheaf of papers under Remus' nose.
'"British Airways Flight BA143D to Moscow,"' he read. 'When are you leaving?'
'Tomorrow.' Sirius' voice was taut with excitement. 'I can't wait. The only thing that would be better is if you were coming.'
Remus smiled. 'Well, I'm teaching. Anyway, you've got Arion to keep you company. He seems nice enough.'
'Yes, but he thinks he knows it all. I mean, we were planning what we're going to do, and he was just giving me orders left and right. He's always right, that's the worst of it.' Sirius looked so disappointed by this that Remus laughed.
'You just don't like having someone who thinks as much of himself as you do. You'll be fine when you get going.'
'I guess so.' Sirius took the papers back. 'Have a look at this.' He opened a small red book and showed it to Remus.
'Who's Mr D. Grayson?' Remus looked at the picture. 'Is it meant to be you?'
'Dumbledore said we weren't supposed to use our real names on the passports. Arion is Mr P. Smithers.' He looked thoughtful for a moment. 'You know, I don't know what Arion's real name is.'
Remus hesitated. 'Neither do I. How odd.'
'He is sort of strange, don't you think.'
'He certainly doesn't like talking about himself.' Remus shook his head and glanced back at the passport. He blinked, and looked again. 'Sirius, what have you done to this picture?'
'Oh, I wondered if you'd notice. I thought it was a bit boring just having a normal Muggle photograph.'
Remus looked at it closely. The eyes followed his movements. 'That's really disconcerting,' he said. 'Are you sure it's a good idea?'
'It'll be all right. It'll make for a bit of excitement on the trip.'
'Don't you think there'll be enough trouble without teasing the Muggles at the airport? I've heard that Customs in Russia is pretty difficult to get through.'
'We'll be fine, don't fuss.'
'Have you packed?'
Sirius shook his head and took the papers back.
'I suppose I'd better. I'll come and say goodbye to you before we leave tomorrow.'
'Okay.' Remus heaved a pile of books onto his desk. 'I really have to get this finished, Sirius, why don't you go and get you packing done now?'
'All right.'
~
There was a violent roll of thunder. Remus sat bolt upright in bed, blinking into wakefulness. It was very dark, and he heard rain drumming against the windows. He shivered. Then a flash of lightning illuminated the room, making him blink and rub his eyes. A few moments later another crack of thunder split the night.
Remus curled up under the blankets, thankful that he was inside. The rain pounded insistently at the window, as if it was asking to be let in. He wondered why it was raining; surely it should be snowing instead. Sleepily, he puzzled over this for a while. The rain would melt the snow, he thought suddenly. Lucky Arion and Sirius haven't left yet. Then, as he began to wake up properly and think, he wondered why it was raining. What had broken the snow spell? Pondering this, he lay awake, unable to sleep for the flashes of lightning that turned the room an eerie blue-white.
The storm lessened as the skies began to grow light. Remus got up and went to the window. The snow had not fully melted, and everything was covered in whitish-grey slush. But the air was definitely warmer. Remus let out his breath and smiled a little. Something had happened. He had no idea what, but something had made Voldemort lose his grip on the snow spell that had been burdening the entire country. Well, what mattered was that the snow was melting and the cold was broken.
He dressed quickly in the half-light and washed his face in the basin. Then he went over to his desk and piled up the essays he had set the fifth years. After he cut a new point to his quill, he began to go through them, writing the marks down in his mark-book and listening to the rain drip down outside the window. It was rather a soothing sound.
The door swung open and Sirius came in, all dressed in his winter clothes. He flipped the striped scarf he was wearing over his shoulder and grinned at Remus.
'Good morning,' said Remus, glancing up.
'I thought I'd find you awake. I've come to say goodbye. The airplane is at nine o'clock, and apparently we have to get to Heathrow hours in advance.'
Remus frowned. 'Sirius, have you looked out the window today?'
'It's dark,' he protested.
'Go and look now.'
'Why?' asked Sirius, striding to the window with a frown. He pulled the curtains aside. The skies were a little lighter, and he could see the slush and even the bare earth in some places. 'The snow's melting,' he said in disbelief. 'What can have happened?'
'I haven't got a clue.' Remus put his quill down. 'All I know is that it's melting. There was a thunderstorm last night, and it started to rain. Didn't you hear it?'
'You know me. I wouldn't have woken up unless lightning struck my bed.'
Remus smiled. 'Well, lucky you came here, then. You probably would have got on that airplane to Moscow without even noticing that the snow had stopped.'
Sirius only grinned back at him. 'I think I'd better go find Arion and see what he thinks is happening.'
'Yes, that's not a bad idea.' Remus put another essay on the pile. 'I've got to finish this, I'll see you at breakfast.'
'All right. Mind you do come to breakfast,' Sirius added with a frown. 'If you don't I shall come up here and drag you down.'
'I'll come, I'll come, don't worry.'
~
Sirius left his friend sorting through another heap of essays. He looked out the window again, as if he might have been mistaken the first time. The snow was melting away quickly, leaving the ground sodden. He could see that the area around the lake was swampy and flooded. Small pieces of ice floated on the dark waters.
He made his way with his long stride down the corridor towards Arion's room that was high in one of the towers. He rapped on the door.
'Ah, Sirius. I was expecting you.' Arion came over and led Sirius in. 'I take it you've noticed the weather?'
'Of course,' said Sirius irritably, because he hadn't until Remus had pointed it out.
'We haven't really got any idea why it's no longer snowing. I went to see Dumbledore, and he couldn't explain it, but he said he would look into the problem.'
'So we're not going to go to Russia?'
'Dumbledore said he didn't need us to any more.'
'Shame. Still, if the snow's stopped I can go and have a look for a decent house somewhere.' Sirius looked out the window again.
'There's going to be a lot of flooding, particularly on the lower ground,' said Arion consideringly. 'I wouldn't like to be living at the bottom of the hill in Hogsmeade.'
'No.'
The door opened and Professor Dumbledore entered. 'So, Sirius, you're going to have to miss out on the beautiful Russian girls. What a shame.'
Sirius laughed. 'Do you know why the snow's melting?'
'Not precisely.' Dumbledore produced a chart of the same type as he had used to look at Stonehenge. 'I set up a watching spell on the area, and if you look really carefully you can see that a wizard went into the centre of the spell and changed something. But I can't tell any more than that.'
Arion took the chart from his hand. 'Oh, yes, I see. Well, that's interesting. It must have been quite a powerful wizard to leave that kind of mark. What was the time you did this?'
'Just now.' Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling as he looked from Arion to Sirius.
'And the snow must have stopped quite a while ago. Not to mention the time it takes for the change to come into effect… hmm. Interesting.'
Sirius made a face. 'Why interesting?'
'Just considering the power of the wizard who stopped the spell.'
'What, you think it was Voldemort himself?' Sirius asked of Dumbledore with a raised eyebrow.
Dumbledore smiled at that. 'No, I'm quite certain it was not Voldemort. He has not left Stonehenge.'
'Hmm, that's strange. Well, I've no doubt we'll find out in time.' Arion returned the chart to Dumbledore. 'Is there anything else that I can do instead?'
'Anything you can think of, Arion. You know what the possibilities are.'
'Well,' interrupted Sirius. 'If the Russia project is off, then I think I'll go back to trying to find a house, if that's all right with you.'
'Of course. I saw something you might be interested in, actually,' said Dumbledore. 'I think I put the details on my desk. Why don't you come and take a look?'
~
It was three in the morning. From where she lay in the Infirmary, Helen could hear the gentle snores of a student in the main ward, and the wind beating against the windows. The snow might have stopped three days ago, but it was still cold and miserable weather. A sound that was not the wind made her jump violently. Her heart was racing. For an irrational second she was sure it was Alexander, come to hold her to her bargain.
The sound was repeated, and she lay shaking for a minute. Then she realised what it was, and the understanding did not decrease her fear. There was an owl tapping at the window. Helen pulled the blankets over her, as if that might make it go away. The owl rapped again, so loudly she thought someone might be woken. And then she would be lost. Wearily she struggled to her feet and went to the window. She pulled it open. A gust of wind entered, followed by the owl.
It held out a letter to her. She reached out for it reluctantly and shooed the bird away. Shivering, she closed the window. The curtains swirled around her. Helen contemplated throwing the letter into the fire unread. No, she thought confusedly, that might be worse. With a shaking hand, she slit open the envelope and took out the letter. She flung the envelope on the glowing embers, and it blazed up brightly. In the flickering light she scanned the parchment, her stomach twisting.
Helen,
I will expect you in the Forbidden Forest, in the clearing south of the lake, at midnight on Friday. You know the consequences of refusal.
Laura and Paul are well.
It was unsigned, but she knew Alexander's angular script as surely as she knew her own. She took a long steadying breath. Then she read the last line again before flinging it into the fire as well. Her vision blurred, tears were beginning to form behind her eyes as she stared into the flames. She knew she would go to meet him.
I should never have left them with Emma, Helen thought. None of this would have happened then. She cast her mind back to last summer, when she had finally learnt, after eight years of being married to him, who it was Alexander supported. It had been very strange, a cringing little man had arrived to see Alexander, and she had overheard their conversation. Why didn't I suspect anything until then? she demanded of herself. I should have seen, I should have known he was working for the Dark Lord.
But when she found out, she had fled, taking Laura and Paul with her. She would never have left them, had it not been for the urgent need for money to support them. Emma's house had seemed the safest place to go, for she was a Muggle and as far from the Dark Lord as could be imagined. But he found them, somehow. And where was I to protect them?
Shaking with noiseless sobs, she returned to the bed and tried to get warm again. But the cold seemed to be eating into her, into the very marrow of her bones. She looked at the wall. Hogwarts, the safest place in the wizarding world. For a few days more. She covered her face with her hands and tried to blot out every image from her mind.
In the Forest, at midnight on Friday. The time seemed to move in strange leaps, a minute passing in endless dragging seconds, then an entire hour in a moment of frantic worry. She lay under the blankets as if she was hiding from something. She could not sleep, and when she did her dreams were haunted by her children's faces, crying out to her for help. But she could not reach them.
~
'Harry, are you doing anything now?' Sirius spotted him in the corridor in the late afternoon. 'I've got something you might like to see.'
Harry glanced at Hermione and Ron. 'I'll see you in a bit,' he said to them quickly before turning to Sirius. 'Yeah, lessons are over for today.'
'Great, come and have a look at this.' Sirius led him down a side passage.
'I didn't know you could go this way,' said Harry, looking out the window in confusion.
Sirius beamed. 'I can still remember most of the passages in Hogwarts. Remus tells me he gave you the Map. Are you making good use of it?'
Harry grinned back. 'It's cool. I use it all the time.'
'Good.' Sirius opened the door to his room. 'It's on the desk.' He watched as Harry crossed the room and glanced at the papers on the desk.
'Is this yours?' he asked incredulously, picking up a sheaf of papers about a house.
'Not yet, but it will be soon. Do you like it?'
'It's – it's brilliant!' Harry stood absorbed in the information about it. 'Where's Lyndhurst?'
'In the New Forest,' explained Sirius, searching around for a map. 'Here, look. The house isn't exactly in the town, it's sort of nearby.'
'Cool! Is it true that there are unicorns in the New Forest?'
'We'll have to find out, won't we? My parents always told me there were griffins there as well.'
Harry looked at the papers for a bit longer. Then he grinned at Sirius. 'When do you move in?'
'I have to buy it first,' said Sirius. 'Are you sure you like it?'
'I love it.' Harry put the papers down. 'Is it – have you spoken to the Dursleys yet?'
'I will.' Sirius' face hardened a little. 'You can be sure of that.' He stared into nothing for a moment, and Harry waited.
After few moments, Harry said, 'Do you know why it's not snowing any more?'
Sirius shook his head as if to clear it. 'No. Nobody knows. Arion is trying to find out, but we don't know at all. Well, Dumbledore thinks a wizard went in to break the spell, but we don't know who or why.'
'In Defence Against the Dark Arts, Professor Lupin said he thought it might be a snow demon, a really big one, that was making it snow all the time.'
'Yes, we all think that's a possibility,' answered Sirius. 'But we don't know for sure.' He grinned. 'Well, what matters is that you can't get me with any more snowballs.'
'Not till next winter,' countered Harry. 'Just you wait.'
Sirius laughed. 'I'll show you a trick that – that your father taught me, how to make snowballs fly properly.'
Harry returned his smile and sat down beside him.
'Will you teach me all my father's tricks?' he asked with an uncertain expression.
'Of course I will.' Sirius awkwardly put an arm across Harry's shoulder. 'I know I'm not – not the same, but I'll try.'
For a few minutes, neither of them spoke. A bell clanged downstairs.
'I ought to go down to supper,' said Harry apologetically, standing up. 'I think the house is cool.' He went towards the door, and smiled back at Sirius.
~
Sirius sprawled across Remus' bed.
'Do you really think I'll be able to look after Harry properly?' he asked abruptly after sitting for a few moments in silence.
Remus turned in his chair. 'I'm sure you will,' he said at once. 'Have you found a house yet?'
'I just showed one to Harry. He thinks it's good.' Sirius fumbled through the papers he had with him. 'Here, tell me what you think.'
Remus studied the pages for a moment. 'In the New Forest? That's nice. Are there many wizarding families around there?'
'No, which is a bit of a pity. But it's never more than a pinch of Floo Powder away from anyone, is it?'
'That's true.' Remus smiled. 'Well, it looks good to me.'
'That's what I thought. I sort of wondered if I should look around Godric's Hollow area for a house, but….' He shook his head. 'I don't think I could handle it. He reminds me so much of James.'
'Me too.' Remus twisted the chair around so that he could see Sirius' face. 'No, I don't think Godric's Hollow would have been a good idea. There are too many bad memories there.'
Sirius nodded. 'That's what I thought.' He sighed. 'But – I don't know. I just wish I could be sure I'll be able to do the right thing.' He got up again and paced across the room and back. 'I mean – I can never be his father like … like James would have been.' He sank down again on the edge of the bed, reaching out to Remus with his eyes. 'I just want to be – be able to – well, to be his godfather like I'm supposed to be.'
'Padfoot, you won't have the slightest bit of trouble with it.' Remus got up to sit beside him. 'You know full well that Harry's been longing for this opportunity since last summer. He knows you're not – not James. But you're more than able to look after him.'
Sirius nodded slowly. 'Yeah.' He grinned. 'Harry and I will have a great time. And you'll help me, won't you?'
'Of course I will.'
~
Helen lay in bed. Her heart was pounding already. Outside, the sky was growing darker. She knew what she was going to do. Through the long hours since Tuesday she had made her plans. It horrified her how easily she had been able to come up with methods for slipping past the matron and getting out of the castle. She must have a naturally criminal mind. She shuddered.
The clock on the wall was driving her mad. Tick … tick … tick, counting off the time until midnight. The door opened, and Madam Pomfrey came in followed by Remus Lupin. She sat up a little and tried to smooth her expression into emptiness.
'Helen, Remus has come to see you,' announced Madam Pomfrey unnecessarily.
'Good evening,' said Remus politely. 'How are you?' Madam Pomfrey bustled off, leaving Helen to make conversation.
'I'm all right,' said Helen as she always did. 'How – how are the classes going?'
'Pretty well, thanks. The students certainly know what they're talking about.' He smiled and sat down on the chair by the bed. 'I'm very pleased with them.'
Helen forced her face to return the smile. She thought of him working in the League, and knew that he would suffer too for her action. She closed her eyes for a moment.
'Are you all right?' he asked in concern.
'Yes … yes, I'm fine. Just – thinking.'
'I thought it was very brave of you, going into Stonehenge on your own like that. I know I was very frightened when I was inside.'
Helen looked at him hopelessly, aware that he was trying to sympathise with her.
'It wasn't pleasant,' she said in a flat tone, and she looked away. She felt a tear prick behind her eye, and she tried to force it back. She had spent enough of her time in here crying for no reason. After a second she became aware that Remus was speaking again.
'…never intended that you should go in there.'
She could hear an echo of guilt behind his voice. 'Oh, it wasn't your fault,' she said at once. That at least was the truth. Nothing else she said was. 'I was curious.'
He nodded silently.
'Have your family come to see you?' he asked after an uncomfortable moment.
Helen took a shuddering breath. 'No.' She shut her lips together to prevent herself from saying any more. With a great mental effort, she tried to keep her face steady, but the tears that fell so easily were welling up again.
Remus made to say something else.
'Please,' Helen murmured. 'It was very kind of you … to come and see me, but please – could you go?' She tried to stop herself weeping, but she could not.
'I'm sorry,' said Remus instantly. 'Of course. If there's anything I can do…'
Helen made a weak gesture with her hand, and he left the room. The second the door was shut, she dissolved into helpless tears. He was trying so hard to be kind, and she had betrayed him, betrayed them all. Oh someone, she cried into the emptiness of her mind, someone make me stop. Someone stop me from doing what I'm going to do.
~
Eleven thirty. Helen got out of bed silently, her tears all fallen now. She put on her black robes and her warmest cloak. Her hands were shaking as she tried to fasten the clasp. She stood for a long time in the doorway. I should never have left the children with Emma, she thought, not for the first time. She's only a Muggle, how could she have protected them from Alexander? But what other choice was there?
She went through the doorway and walked on silent feet through the ward. Nobody stirred as she passed. As she opened the door at the end, it creaked noisily, and she froze in horror. After a moment of standing absolutely still, listening, she decided nobody had heard. Very carefully, she pulled the door closed behind her and went through the corridors.
There was a light still burning in Minerva's office at the top of the stairs. Helen paused for a moment. She could hear the fire crackling inside, and wished with all her heart that she dared go in. Go and confess everything and have the whole problem taken away from her. Azkaban couldn't be worse than this, she thought. But then – she knew that not even Dumbledore would be able to protect Laura and Paul from the Dark Lord.
Slowly she walked past and down the stairs, and through more corridors to a small side door by the kitchens. It was dusty from disuse, and cobwebs grew around it. When she tried to open it, the hinges squealed protest. Finally it was open. She stepped over the threshold and outside.
The cold wind struck her like a fist, as if to push her back. But she had begun now. The muddy ground sucked at her feet in their low boots, and she shivered. It was dark, but the young moon gave enough light to see by. Not that it made any difference. She splashed into a puddle that was higher than her boots. The icy water on her ankles gave her a sudden jolt of surprise, clearing her mind for a moment. She stopped, disregarding her wet feet. Turn around and go back, she told herself. Will you sacrifice them all?
She could not turn. Her feet carried her unresisting towards the Forbidden Forest. She jumped at every sound, every rustling of the leaves, trembling with fear as well as cold. An owl hooted above her head, and a fox padded away from her coming. Finally she reached the clearing. She stood, turning around nervously, watching and waiting.
'Now then, my Helen.'
He was behind her. She felt her heart race and a cold sweat broke out all over her. Silently he moved out from behind the trees into the clearing. The waxing moon rode low in the west, and by its light she could see his face. He was smiling in the way that used to be so familiar. Helen shuddered.
'Alexander.' She tried not to look at his face.
He put a hand on her shoulder. 'Helen, my love, you're shaking. Surely you're not nervous?'
Helen could not answer.
'I hope you haven't changed your mind about anything.'
'Why don't you just stop this?' she asked suddenly. 'You don't really want to hurt – hurt Laura and Paul.' She turned to face him fully.
Alexander did not speak for a moment. At length he said, 'They won't be hurt so long as you keep your side of the bargain. I'll see to that.'
This did not reassure Helen. 'Why don't you leave him?' she continued. 'Surely you don't really want to work for – for You-Know-Who?'
'There is no way to go back on this promise now,' said Alexander, sounding a little angry. For a moment he was silent again. Then he scowled. 'Anyway, that's not your problem. Listen to what you're going to do.'
For a moment, Helen thought she would protest, say she wouldn't do it. But she did not. She nodded silently.
'Now, here are the details. On the night of the 20th, you will go downstairs to the main entrance. At midnight, you will open the door for me, and invite my master in. That is all you need to do. Easy, isn't it?'
Helen didn't reply.
'Then you just have to keep out of the way, and everything will be fine.'
No it won't, Helen thought, but did not say aloud.
'I – I'll do it. And then you'll get Laura and Paul to me?'
'That's right. See, you do understand how this works.' He clapped his hand on her arm. 'And we'll have power and to spare, and you can stop this nonsense about not living with me. It'll be all right.'
There was a rustling behind them, and Helen froze.
'Easy, easy, it's just the wind,' said Alexander, tightening his grip on her arm. 'Now, go on back to the school and keep things going until next week. I'll see you then.'
Helen broke away from him and began to push through the bushes to the edge of the forest.
'Good luck, my dear,' he called, and she began to run. But she could not escape what she would do.
Her mind in turmoil, Helen stumbled blindly back through the forest and across the muddy lawn to Hogwarts. She entered through the side door and scraped the worst of the mud from her boots automatically. She was still trembling. The warm quiet halls of Hogwarts only made her feel worse. A little over a week, and then this peaceful haven would be gone. Her mind touched on a thought she had been trying to avoid. What if Alexander didn't keep his side of the bargain? Then everything would be lost. But no, no, surely he would not do such a thing to his own children? She didn't know what to think.
'Where have you been?'
The voice made her heart leap so violently she thought she would die of fright. Gasping, she turned towards the shadowy figure at the head of the stairs.
'I – I …' she stammered. Severus Snape came down. His eyes glinted in the light of the smoky torch he carried. He looked at her muddy boots and windblown hair. Watching her as a hawk might eye a mouse before he dropped down upon it, he said nothing, waiting.
'I was – outside,' she began shakily.
'So I can see.' He glided closer. 'And what were you doing that took you outside in the middle of the night?'
Helen couldn't answer. His eyes seemed to be mesmerising her, and her heart was pounding so hard she thought he must be able to hear it as well. She did not have to pretend very much when she swayed on her feet and put her hand against the wall for support.
He took another step towards her, and she shrank back.
'I – I thought I'd heard something … I went out to – to see what it was.' A part of her wanted just to blurt out the truth. He would have no doubts in believing her. She wondered how his face would change if she said, I was meeting with one of the Dark Lord's supporters to make preparations for betraying Hogwarts. She didn't say it.
'Indeed,' Snape answered with a faint sneer. 'What intrepid colleagues I have. Too ill to teach, I see, but well enough to go looking for trouble in the middle of the night. How – interesting.'
He looked at her as she leaned against the wall shaking. 'Go back to the Infirmary,' he said with scorn. 'I'm on duty, there's no point wasting my time talking to you. We'll sort this out in the morning.'
Helen took a few shaky steps away, her heart still pounding. He watched her.
'What was it, that mysterious noise you went to investigate?' he demanded suddenly.
'I – don't know. I couldn't find anything.'
'How convenient.' Disbelief dripped from his voice. Clutching the banister, Helen began to climb the stairs. Snape watched her go. 'Perhaps we will find the cause of this sound in the morning,' he said. 'I shall ask some of the other staff to look into it.'
Helen only nodded weakly and went down the corridor towards the Infirmary. She felt that she had the word TRAITOR emblazoned upon her forehead. The door creaked again, but she scarcely cared. Nobody was awake. She made her way towards her bed and scarcely had the energy to take off her muddy clothes. What did it matter?
She knew why it mattered. I had to, she protested inwardly to a non-existent listener as she collapsed onto the bed. I can't do anything else. My children…
~
TO BE CONTINUED
I think the next part will be called 'On The Threshold.' It won't take as long to write as this one did, I hope.
Blaise
7th April 2000