Trojan Horse – Part VIII: Door into the Dark
Are you all sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin…
~
On the pallet of straw and tattered blankets, Remus Lupin lay still. Only the slow rise and fall of his chest showed that he still lived, for his face was waxen and his eyes were closed. After a while, his breathing became deeper, more rapid, and he stirred.
This isn't very comfortable, was his first thought. What had happened to the bed? He began to roll sideways in an effort to find an easier position, but his body would not obey him. After some time, he realised that he was not in his bed at Llyn Alwyn. No, he thought, I went to Hogwarts because it was snowing. But this wasn't Hogwarts either. His memory began to come back in fits and starts. He remembered teaching, and the Wolfsbane Potion, and Sirius … where was he?
Remus opened his eyes. Bright, dazzling light assailed him, and he screwed them shut again with a short gasp of surprise. After a few moments he squinted around more carefully. It was a familiar place, very familiar, but he could not put a name to it. He lifted his head weakly to get a better view. The movement seemed to stir his memories, and everything else came back to him in a rush of thought. Voldemort – Helen betraying them – Sirius – Dumbledore… he felt panic twist in his gut and he sank back.
'Oh! I didn't know you were awake.'
The voice was coming from somewhere behind him, a woman's voice. Remus tried to turn to see who it was, but the movement made him dizzy.
'Just lie still,' she said. Her voice was familiar to Remus. She stepped over into his line of sight, blocking out the light so that he was less dazzled. He looked up at her face and recoiled as if from a viper.
'You – what do you want with me?' His voice was croaky and hoarse, and speaking made him gasp for breath, but the anger in it was unmistakeable. 'Traitor.'
Helen Irwin flinched a little. 'Keep your voice down,' she said quietly. 'There are spies everywhere.'
'Like you?' A deep anger was welling up inside him as he remembered again how she had admitted Voldemort to the castle. 'What are you doing here?' He looked around the room again, and saw the gouges in the walls, the broken furniture and the boarded-up windows, and he realised in a flash where he was. Why on earth was he here, and with the traitor?
'Please,' said Helen faintly, 'you mustn't be heard.'
'What are you afraid of?' he retorted. 'Voldemort's people won't harm you.'
'You don't understand,' she murmured.
'Are you going to kill me here, or hand me over?' Remus tried again to sit up, looking at Helen with disgust. This woman, this monster, had given over Hogwarts to Voldemort.
'I – neither,' said Helen. 'Don't worry.'
'Don't worry? The worst traitor since Pettigrew is standing over me!'
Helen didn't answer, though her face was very white. She reached for her wand. Despite himself, Remus flinched. He was unarmed. But she did not raise it, instead she bent down and put it into his hand gently.
'Is that better?'
Remus looked at it in confusion and was silent.
'What – what happened?' he asked after a while. Even if it was the traitor who told him, at least he would know. 'Hogwarts …?'
'It's all right, more or less.' She sighed. 'The attack didn't succeed, thank goodness. Professor Dumbledore drove them away. But they're besieged, we can't get in.'
'So how – how did I get here?' Remus thought suddenly that there could be a way he could still get into Hogwarts, siege or no siege, but he said nothing of that.
'I brought you.' Helen came and sat on the side of the pallet, and Remus moved away as best he could.
'Why?' he demanded. 'I don't understand. Am I a hostage?' He twisted her wand between his fingers.
'No!' For a moment she looked angry as well. 'I brought you here because otherwise they would have taken you away as well.'
Remus pulled himself upright so that he was facing her. 'As well as who?' Again he felt a stab of fear. 'Sirius ….'
'I'm sorry.' Helen sighed. 'They took him away – I couldn't carry both of you.'
His face even paler, if that were possible, Remus slumped back. 'Where?'
'I don't know. They took Arion too.' She looked at him with concern. 'Are you all right? You've been very ill. Here –' She got up and fetched him a mug of water. Remus did not take it. He was staring at her in utter confusion.
'Why are you doing this, if I'm not your hostage?' he asked. 'I don't understand. Who are you working for?'
'I – I'm not working for anyone any more.' She took a deep breath. 'I'm just trying to get back to Hogwarts.'
'So I am a hostage.'
'No, you're not. They don't need you as a hostage, they already have –' She shook her head. 'No, that's not fair of me. They're far more decent people than Alexander is.'
Remus looked at her in mystification. 'I think you'd better explain yourself.'
Helen nodded. 'You deserve to know.' She sat down again on the pallet, and looked at him worriedly. 'You'd better drink this,' she said, passing him the mug. He took it with a shaky hand. 'Have you heard of Alexander de Laurent?' she asked.
'He's one of Voldemort's greatest supporters.'
'That's right.' Helen's voice trembled a little. 'He's also my husband.'
'What?' Remus spilled some of the water, and it ran in cold rivulets down his chest. He ignored it, but Helen dabbed at it with the corner of the blankets. Another memory came back to him suddenly. 'Those children – they're yours?'
Helen took a deep breath. 'Yes. They're safe now.' She almost smiled.
Remus set the mug down before he dropped it. Though he was used to being ill, he had rarely felt this weak. Not really seeing what she was getting at, he turned back to Helen.
'So, your husband works for Voldemort. He made you betray us?' He felt another stab of anger for her cowardice. 'To protect your own skin?'
'No!' She seemed to have forgotten her earlier injunction against making too much noise. 'No, no … Remus, what do you take me for?' Helen stopped herself, and before he could answer, said, 'Well, I know what you take me for. You're not wrong, but you don't know the whole story.'
'So he didn't threaten you; you just did it to please him, then?'
Helen swallowed. 'You're being very harsh,' she said. Then, rather to Remus' surprise, she added, 'But I deserve it. No, he – he had my children. Our children. He would have – killed them … if I didn't.'
Remus sank back against the musty straw. He looked at her in disbelief.
'That's – that's appalling.' He tried to imagine what she must have gone through, but his mind shied away like a nervous horse. 'I'm sorry.' Helen blinked rapidly. Remus put out an awkward hand to comfort her. 'They're at Hogwarts now?'
'Yes.'
'They'll be all right there.'
'I know.'
Helen sat beside him in silence for a while. Then Remus said, 'How long have I been here?'
She thought for a moment, and counted on her fingers. 'Almost two weeks.'
'What?' He shook his head in disbelief. 'It can't be.'
'It is. You've been ill for a fortnight. I thought you were going to die. You-Know-Who put some terrible spells on you. It was only because you were … transformed that you survived.'
Remus tried to absorb this. 'So Voldemort's been besieging Hogwarts for a fortnight?'
'That's right.'
He rested his head against the straw and yawned widely. 'You've been taking care of me for two weeks?' he continued.
Helen nodded.
'Thank you.' He looked at Helen with a slightly puzzled expression. 'Why didn't you go with Voldemort's followers?'
'Because – because I don't agree with them at all. I didn't want to have anything to do with them, but I didn't have much of a choice. But now that my children are safe, there's nothing they can do to me to make me go back.'
Remus nodded without speaking. He lay still for a few moments, tired simply by their conversation.
'Why don't you have a sleep?' said Helen, smoothing the blanket around him absently.
'Yes,' sighed Remus. It was a nuisance, he thought, being ill, but there wasn't much he could do about it. He submitted to Helen's fussing, and was asleep even before she had finished.
~
'It's this way,' said Arion decisively. 'I know where I am, Sirius.'
'Yeah, you've been here fifty times before, I know. But there's a river down there, and I'm not planning to swim.'
'You don't have to,' Arion responded with great patience. 'Just follow me.'
Muttering under his breath, Sirius followed him. They had been travelling across northern England for about a week, and he was footsore, tired and fed up. His mood hadn't been helped by the fact that Arion seemed to be enjoying himself.
They scrambled through the young brambles, Sirius muttering curses under his breath as they snagged on his legs. Arion seemed to be able to avoid them all.
'How come you know all this area, anyhow?' he asked. 'Do you know every patch of ground from here to Land's End?'
'Not quite.' Arion gave a dry smile. 'Now, the river.'
He led the way down a steep bank, slithering a little over the mud. Sirius skidded after him and stood at the edge of the river.
'If you think I'm going to swim across that….' It wasn't particularly wide, but it looked deep. Sirius tripped over another bramble and swore.
'Just follow me,' said Arion, not for the first time. He bent down and took off his boots, rolled up the bottoms of his trousers and folded his cloak over his shoulders. 'It's shallow, there's a ford.'
Sirius looked very dubious, but he followed suit. Arion waded into the water and began to make his way across. Still wearing a scowl, Sirius went after him. He went off to one side a bit, and stepped into water almost up to his waist with a tremendous splash.
Whirling around, Arion reached out a hand to haul him out. 'You must stay right behind me,' he said. 'This is the only place where it's safe to cross.'
The water swirled around his legs, threatening to overbalance him. It was freezing cold as well, but Sirius made no complaint. The stones crunched under his feet, smooth and slippery. Arion splashed up on the other side, and a moment later Sirius did the same.
They were both shivering, and Sirius' wet clothes were clinging to him.
'Let's get moving,' he said. 'I'm going to freeze to death unless we keep going.' He dried off his feet with the top of his cloak and put his boots back on.
'It'll dry off pretty soon,' said Arion casually. 'But it's best not to sit around.' He looked around him for a moment, and nodded to himself. 'We'll go this way.'
'What wouldn't I give for a broomstick!' exclaimed Sirius about five minutes later. Arion was leading the way into a wood, and he was picking his way through rabbit-holes and a plague of holly bushes. 'I wonder what happened to Vivian?'
Arion looked rather angry. 'We shouldn't have let her go off like that. She has no idea how to hide herself. Chances are she was recaptured.' He scowled. 'I don't know what I was thinking of.'
Sirius didn't answer. A bit later, he asked, 'How much longer before we get to Hogwarts?'
Arion paused to consider this for a moment. 'About three days from now we should be there, barring problems and delays.'
'Good.'
He was going to ask more, but Arion made a quelling gesture at him and looked around alertly. There had been many alarms of this sort throughout the journey, for they both knew that Voldemort would not let his captives away easily. Now Arion led the way deeper into the bushes, moving almost without a sound. Sirius, much to his irritation, was a little more clumsy, and Arion shot him a warning glance when he snapped off a branch that was snagging his cloak.
The sky was darkening. 'There's a good place where we can stop for the night,' said Arion in a hushed voice. Sirius privately marvelled at how he seemed to know his way about perfectly. Well, it wasn't surprising, hadn't they said he'd spent most of his life roaming around England hunting down Voldemort's supporters?
Later in the evening, they sat by the fire after eating their meagre supper. It was dark and chilly. Sirius was throwing pinecones at the fire, making bright blazes in the ash.
'What did they offer you, when you were in the dungeons?' he asked curiously, breaking a silence that had lasted a long time. 'They told me I would have power and people to command, and free pardon for any of my friends I could persuade to join with me.' He paused. 'All lies, of course. Iron'll float before I trust Voldemort or any of his lot.'
Arion didn't answer for a moment. At length he said, 'I was told I could join with – with Voldemort as his second in command.'
'What?' Sirius turned to stare at him. In the firelight, Arion's face was half in shadow. 'Why -?' he began, but something about Arion's face made him stop. He did not speak again for the rest of the evening, but sat gazing into the flames. After a while, Sirius curled up to sleep. The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was Arion still watching the fire burn down into white ash.
~
Helen had gone into Hogsmeade to buy some food and supplies. Where she got the money from, Remus didn't ask. When he was alone, Remus decided to make a test of his legs. He felt considerably better than he had last time he had tried this, when he had scarcely been able to walk. Now that Helen wasn't here to fuss and order him to sit down after five seconds, he would be able to find out how well he was recovering.
He stood without much difficulty and paced around the shack slowly. He found himself recalling how often he had woken up exhausted and aching in here. Then he had never dreamed that one day he would be in here like this. After walking around the room three times he was out of breath and his legs felt shaky. He leaned on the wall, looking through the cracks of the boarded-up windows. There was not a soul about, though Helen had told him that this was not far from the area where Voldemort patrolled. But the reputation the Shrieking Shack had gained was sufficient to keep it safe from any curious eyes. That much he had accomplished, at least. Not that terrifying everyone in Hogsmeade and even being mentioned in guidebooks was an accomplishment to be particularly proud of.
When he had his breath back he walked around the room again, more to prove he could do it than anything else. Then he sat down on the chair. He had only been there about five minutes when he heard rapid footsteps outside. Another second, and Helen burst in the door.
'Remus, they're coming up to search here,' she gasped between sobbing breaths. She was spattered with mud from the run up the hill. 'Can you hide? I'll let them find me, they'll take me, I'll be all right.'
Remus got up, knowing it was time to tell her about the tunnel. 'You can't do that,' he said. 'There's no need. We can get away easily.'
'What do you mean?' She was rushing around the room, flinging things away and trying to clear up all traces of Remus' presence. 'If you go upstairs or something, perhaps if they find me here they won't look anywhere else. I'll try to distract them.'
Remus was shaking his head as she began to sweep away the pallet where he had lain. He went to the trapdoor, which could not be seen at all from above, and heaved at it for a moment, trying to prise it up.
'What are you doing?' Helen asked, pausing for a moment. 'What's that?'
'It's a tunnel, it leads to Hogwarts. Once we put the trapdoor back down, it'll be impossible to see.' He put out a hand to stop her as she whirled around the room like a hurricane. 'Put those boards back up across the door, tip all our stuff into the tunnel, and then come with me.'
'To Hogwarts? We can get to Hogwarts from here?' She gaped at him.
'Yes. I'll explain in a moment.' He bent down again and gave a strong tug. The trapdoor stuck for a moment, and then came open with a jolt that flung him backwards on the floor. Helen gaped at the hole that had appeared at her feet, and stooped to help Remus up. Then she began to fling every trace of their stay into the pit and knocked down the furniture she had tried to repair. Remus helped her as best he could.
'Okay, that's it.' Helen gave a last glance around the room. 'Let's go down this mysterious tunnel. I don't believe it, I've been here a fortnight and I never had a clue. Are you sure it'll work?'
'Very sure.' Remus slid with the ease born of long practice into the tunnel, and Helen followed, landing on a heap of blankets and straw. Reaching up, Remus pulled the trapdoor over his head. It shut with a clang, and he dropped down to the floor of the tunnel, catching his breath. A moment later, and he could hear voices above him.
'I don't care what stupid witless beliefs you have about it being haunted. It's perfectly safe. I can scarcely comprehend your extraordinary negligence, not searching such an obvious hide-out. Now get that door down and go in!'
Helen shuddered. 'That's Alexander,' she murmured. 'Let's go.' She looked down the dark tunnel. Remus shook his head, struck by a sudden idea.
'Scream,' he said. 'Really loudly.' He thought with a smile that it was exactly what Sirius would have done.
'What?' In the background there were the sounds of the door being broken down.
'It's the Shrieking Shack, let's make it really shriek.' There was a gleam in his eye. Before she could say anything, he threw back his head and gave frightening howl. He reflected that thirty years of practice had paid off. There was an answering cry of fear from above their heads, and a furious voice.
'Get back in there, you cowards!'
Helen screamed as well, high and piercing. Remus was letting out more bloodcurdling howls, and found he was enjoying himself. The tunnel echoed and echoed around them, and it really did sound like the shack was screaming.
'There's nobody in there, get back inside and do your work? Do I really have to nursemaid you lot the whole way? Call yourselves mercenaries!' They heard the sharp crack of a spell, and a different kind of scream. Remus saw Helen was shaking a little, and he put out a hand to console her even as he howled again. What a man to be married to! She screamed again, and he could tell she was not needing to pretend that she was afraid.
There were the sounds of running feet, and more exhortations and swearing from Alexander. They heard him go in himself. When Remus caught the sound of his feet on the trapdoor, he gave his best howl. He was rewarded by the sound of Alexander jumping violently and retreating to the door.
For a while the two of them sat in the tunnel, still letting out howls and screams occasionally. Finally, both out of breath and a little hoarse, they stopped.
'I don't think they'll be back soon,' said Remus, still feeling the surge of confidence that his success had created. He grinned. Helen mustered a weak smile in return.
'Shall we go?' she said. 'Do you think we'll be able to get through to Hogwarts?'
'I don't suppose Voldemort's spells reach underground – earth magic is very complicated – but you never know. We can try, at least.' While he still felt full of energy, he got to his feet. Helen followed suit.
'Why didn't you say this was here before?' she asked.
Remus paused. How was he to say that he hadn't really wanted to trust her with this, hadn't wanted to confide such a precious secret to someone who was not proven for honesty? While he hesitated, Helen saved him.
'I'm not surprised. In your position I wouldn't have mentioned it either. I don't seem exactly trustworthy.' She sounded resigned to it.
Remus could not protest this. Instead he said, 'When I was a student at Hogwarts, I came here to transform every month. It was awful. It's because of my screaming and howling that people started thinking it was haunted.'
'Oh, that must have been terrible,' said Helen. She sounded genuinely upset, he thought. 'And then I go and drag you there of all places.'
'Hardly something to apologise for,' he retorted.
She was silent for a while, and Remus began to feel less like Sirius and more like his tired self. He stumbled. Helen was alert instantly.
'You'd better sit down for a bit,' she said, putting out a hand to stop him. He did not protest, it seemed like a good idea. Breathing heavily, he sat with his back against the earthen wall of the tunnel. Helen crouched down beside him. It was very dark, he could not see her, but he could hear the small sounds she made as she shifted restlessly.
'What am I going to say to them?' she said suddenly in a quiet, urgent voice. 'What can I say?' Before Remus could answer, she continued in a self-mocking tone, '"Oh, I'm very sorry I let You-Know-Who into the castle. I promise I won't do it again?"' She made sound half-way between a laugh and a sob. 'Sounds convincing, doesn't it?'
'I'll vouch for you,' said Remus helpfully. 'You saved my life, you know. I'll make sure they know all about that. You'll be all right.'
She took a deep breath and grew calmer. 'Well, I suppose I'll deserve whatever they have to say. They probably won't kill me.'
'They better not even think of it,' growled Remus.
'And I'll see Laura and Paul.' He could hear the smile in her voice now. 'That's all that matters.'
Remus smiled as well, though in the dark it was not possible to see it. He got to his feet.
'Let's keep going.'
They walked in silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts.
'Do you think we've got past the boundaries into Hogwarts?' asked Helen after a bit.
Remus paused to think. 'We should have … I wasn't paying attention to how long we've been walking for. Hmm … yes, I think we have.'
'Does that mean that You-Know-Who could get in through this tunnel?' asked Helen worriedly.
'I don't know. It's not easy to get out the other end.' Remus suddenly thought of the other tunnels that led into Hogsmeade. But surely Voldemort didn't know the tunnels were there. At least, that was what he hoped. 'Professor Dumbledore knows about all of them, I'm sure, so it'll be all right.' He began to think it through.
Finally, he said, 'I think this is how it works. Voldemort is stopping anyone from getting out of Hogwarts, but not going in. He can't get in because of the new spells on the grounds that stop evil things getting in. But we can get in because we're not evil.'
Helen made a strange half-laughing sound. 'Well, you're not, at least.'
'Helen, you are by no means evil.
There was a flicker of light ahead of them.
'There!' said Remus, pleased. 'We're safe.' Helen looked doubtful. They both came to the mouth of the tunnel. Helen reached up. The Whomping Willow lashed out at her just as Remus called a warning.
'Don't - !'
She let out a yelp and dropped down again.
'What on earth is that?'
'The Whomping Willow,' said Remus. 'You know, down past Hagrid's cottage. We're in the grounds.'
'Oh! So it's protecting the tunnel.' She turned to Remus, and he could see confusion on her face. 'But that means we can't get out.'
'We can, it's all right.' Remus rested for a moment on the wall of the tunnel. 'We need a long stick,' he said.
Helen looked around. 'There's plenty up there, but I don't think the tree will let me have them. What's it for?'
'To make the tree stop. I always used to keep one here … but that was a long time ago. Hmm … I don't know what we'll do if we can't find one.' He did not think the long walk back to the Shrieking Shack would be very enjoyable.
'It's all right, I know what we can do.' Helen pulled out her wand. 'I can enchant this so that it's longer.'
Remus looked worried. 'We'll have to be careful, you don't want that snapped.'
'It's all right,' she said. She murmured a spell, and her wand became several feet longer. 'Right, what do you want me to do?'
'I'll do it.' Remus straightened up and went to the mouth of the tunnel warily, taking the long wand. He'd had lots of practice at dodging the tree, and he ducked at the right moment. 'When it freezes, get up as quickly as you can and out of the way.'
'Right.'
Remus waited until the Whomping Willow's attention was distracted by a bird, and then reached up with the wand. He hit the knot on the trunk, and it froze. The bird gave a chirp of surprise and flew away, while Helen scrabbled at the wall of the tunnel and clambered up. Remus followed more slowly, tired. The Willow began to creak, and Helen grabbed him and tugged him out of reach just in time.
'Thanks.' Remus picked himself up and gave Helen her wand, which was undamaged. She worked the counter-spell and stuck it back in her belt. 'Well, let's go see if anyone's around.'
They crossed the lawn in silence and went up to the West Door. Neither was surprised to find it barred and bolted. Remus knocked. They stood waiting, and Remus could see Helen was keeping her expression steady with difficulty. At last the door swung open.
Minerva was standing there. She looked more careworn than when he had seen her last, Remus thought. There were blue streaks under her eyes. She gaped at them.
'Remus?' she asked incredulously. 'Are you all right?'
He smiled at her tiredly and saw her eyes turn to Helen.
'May we come in?' he asked before she could speak. She looked back at him and there was anger in her face.
'You may,' Minerva said in a steely tone, 'but she may not.'
Much as he wanted to go and sit down, Remus remained on the doorstep.
'I trust Helen,' he said firmly, meeting Minerva's angry gaze. 'She'll do no harm.'
A voice from behind Minerva said, 'Two of a kind.' Snape limped into view. 'I must say, Lupin, even I had not expected you to show such poor judgement.'
Remus could see that Helen had shrunk away at the very sight of Snape, and he took a breath to speak. Before he could muster his thoughts into words, Snape continued, 'And as for her – she is almost beneath contempt. The lowest and most cowardly traitor who ever lived.' He advanced on her like an army. 'Why have you come back? Why didn't you stay with that husband of yours and your Dark Wizard friends? Did you come back to gloat?' He paused, glaring at her. 'Do you even know what you've done? Do you know that to repair the devastation you caused, the best wizard in the world has died?' In his voice was not grief, but a wild fury, and his knuckles were white around his wand. 'By your actions, you murdered Professor Dumbledore. Aren't you proud of yourself?' Helen was ashen. Remus put a hand on the doorpost for support.
'Severus…' began Minerva sharply, but he carried on, enunciating each word with venom.
'And now you and that tame werewolf have the brazen audacity to return here? You're –'
'Severus, that is enough.' Minerva looked almost as angry as Snape. Remus took a long breath, feeling very weak at the knees. 'Remus, you'd better come and sit down.' She glanced at Helen. 'You too.'
Pale with anger, Snape watched them enter. Helen put out a hand to help Remus, for which he was very grateful. He collapsed onto a chair. Minerva bent over him.
'Have you been ill?' she asked, forgetting Helen for a moment. 'You look awfully peaky.'
'Professor Dumbledore's … dead?' Remus could scarcely grasp the news. He stared up at Minerva, not answering her question. There were more lines on her face than when he had seen her last, and he noticed some grey strands in her hair.
'Yes. I am Headmistress now.' She spoke without pride, a bald statement of the facts. Remus sat back in the chair and tried to comprehend it.
Before it could sink in, Minerva continued, speaking a little too quickly. 'Remus, how on earth did you get here? We're besieged, the owls can't even get in or out.' Minerva gave him a piercing look as though he might just be an illusion and would melt away.
'We came through the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack,' he said. 'The siege spell doesn't reach underground.'
'Oh, that's good to know.' She paused. 'Does You-Know-Who know about it?'
'I don't think so, I think it's all right.' Distractedly, he explained the conclusion he had come to in the tunnel.
Minerva nodded. 'That makes sense.' Then she turned back to Helen. 'Why have you come back?' she asked in a steely voice. 'I'm going to give you a chance to speak for yourself, because – because before he died, Albus said I was to be lenient with you. So speak.' Snape looked as if he was about to object, but Minerva glanced sharply at him and he subsided.
Helen hesitated, looking to Remus. He gave a little smile and waited for her to speak.
'I – I came back because my children are here, above all.' Her voice was very quiet. 'Are they safe?'
'They're fine,' said Minerva with a scowl that almost matched Snape's. 'Though I am surprised that you should care enough for them to ask after abandoning them here.'
Remus drew in his breath in a gasp and glanced up at Helen. She was very pale, and said nothing.
'Helen left them here deliberately in the hope that they would be safe,' said Remus sharply. 'She … well, you explain.'
'Alexander – Alexander de Laurent, my husband – he took them and brought them to Stonehenge,' said Helen in a shaking voice. 'He told me that he – that if I didn't do as he asked he'd kill them.'
'You set the lives of those two little – little brats above the entire of Hogwarts?' raged Snape, pacing up and down while Minerva stood stunned. 'How many people's children are here, Mrs de Laurent?'
'Severus!' Minerva was staring at Helen, whose face was full of pain. 'Control yourself!'
'Helen also saved my life,' Remus said quietly when she did not continue. 'If it hadn't been for her I would either be in Voldemort's prison somewhere or I'd be dead.'
Minerva still looked stunned. 'I see,' she said at last. 'Well, Helen,' and her voice was gentler than it had been before, 'I think, under the circumstances, you can remain here.'
Snape turned to her. 'Minerva, consider for a minute,' he said in a quieter voice. 'I cannot accept this decision. You're not thinking clearly. That woman –' he made a contemptuous gesture '- that woman was responsible for the attack on the school. She has betrayed us once, what proof have you that she will not do it again?'
Helen took a deep breath. 'I know there is no way I can prove anything to you. I can only say that I – that I did not want to do what I did, but – my children mean more to me than anything.' Her voice shook a little, but she held Snape's gaze. 'Now that my children are safe, Alexander has no more hold over me.'
'Severus, I accept what Helen is saying,' said Minerva to him as his lip curled. 'I am going to have to ask you to abide by my decision.'
'I hope you don't regret it,' he spat. Remus looked at Helen. She was still pale, and her eyes were flickering from Snape to Minerva.
'Thank you,' she said softly.
Remus sat forward a little, needing to ask a question that had been preying on his mind. He turned to Minerva.
'Is Sirius here?'
Minerva looked back from Helen with a sorrowful expression. 'I'm sorry, Remus,' she began. Remus felt a terrible knot tightening in his stomach. 'We have no idea what happened to Sirius.'
Remus felt as though he had been struck. He had been clinging to the hope that Helen was wrong, that in the confusion of the attack she had been mistaken about what had happened, but now it was swept away. He had only just regained his friend after twelve endless years, how could he have lost him so soon? And Dumbledore, too. The enormity of it all began to sink in, and he slumped back in the chair for a few moments.
Snape whirled on his heel and stalked away, his robes swishing. Remus saw Helen look considerably more at ease once he was gone, though she was still breathing raggedly. He tried to pull himself together, but Minerva turned towards him.
'You both look like scarecrows. Have you been sleeping in your clothes, Remus?'
'Yes, as it happens,' he said, a little crossly, getting to his feet to prove he was all right. 'Minerva, don't fuss, I'll be fine.' He caught sight of himself in a mirror then. His clothes were mismatched, crumpled and covered in mud from the tunnel. And his face was dead white, save for the stubble of a beard around his chin and a streak of mud on his forehead. Somehow, the sight of himself made him feel far worse, and he put a hand on the wall. Minerva gave him a piercing look.
'You are going straight up to Madam Pomfrey,' she said sternly. 'Come on.' She would have taken his arm, but he began to climb the stairs before she could reach him.
'I'm going, I'm going,' he said. But then he stopped. Through the window he saw Hagrid approaching the front door, a small girl perched on his shoulders and a boy trotting alongside him. A faint smile began to spread across his face. The door opened.
'Mummy!' Two shrieks of delight filled the entrance hall, and the girl began to try and climb down from Hagrid's shoulders.
'Hey, steady on there!' he said as he stood in the doorway. Remus grinned as Hagrid lifted the child down and set her gently on her feet. She ran towards Helen, catching up with the boy who had flung himself at her. Remus remembered that the girl was called Laura and the boy was Paul. Helen had talked about them often. Now she had bent down and was folding them both in her arms.
With another tired smile, Remus continued to climb the stairs, leaning heavily on the banister. He paused to look down again, and saw that Helen was crying openly. Hagrid was dabbing at his own eyes with a gigantic grubby handkerchief. There was a hint of a smile around the corners of Minerva's lips and in her eyes as she left them and followed Remus up the stairs.
'Up to the Infirmary for you,' she said, sounding as if she was his teacher again. Remus glanced back at Helen still holding her children, and then went on up. 'When Madam Pomfrey's got you sorted out, come to the staff-room. There are a lot of things we need to discuss, all of us. I think Helen could be very helpful.'
Remus nodded, too tired and grief-stricken to work out what she was suggesting. He stopped at the top of the stairs and looked around the corridors of the school dazedly. Everything was starting to feel unreal, as if the attack had happened to a different person, in a different place. The heels of Minerva's shoes clicking away down the corridor echoed loudly in his ears.
How could Dumbledore be dead? Dumbledore was the most – the most alive person he had ever known. And he was dead. He wondered how Helen must be feeling. She had been upset before, this was a hundred times worse. Sirius, too, there was no telling what might have become of him.
He had betrayed Dumbledore's trust and now he was dead. Why had he been so reckless, so thoughtless? Dumbledore had been the first person to give him a chance, and now … now he was dead. There was a chair at the end of the corridor. Remus sank into it and put his head in his hands, his grief too complete to care that there was a class of first-year Hufflepuffs walking past and staring at him. So odd, that this could have happened two weeks ago, and he hadn't known. The stars had not fallen, the sun still rose and set. And yet the greatest wizard in the world was dead.
TO BE CONTINUED
Not sure when I'll be finished with the next part now that exams have started. I hope it's soon.
Blaise
4th May 2000