Shades of Grey: Part 4
~Tk~Okay, so you were all expecting either Matt or Tai to start this off right? Well, tough luck! You're stuck with me! Look, I'm sorry for yelling at you, but this has been one hell of a night. This whole situation has confused the hell out of me. I mean, why in the world would Matt consider suicide? Why in the world did he attempt to commit suicide?
Actually, to tell you the truth, I'm not much interested in the answers to those questions right now. I'm more interested in finding out whether I'm still going to have a brother. We've been in this stupid waiting room for what seems like an eternity and nobody wants to give us any information about Matt's condition, if he even has a condition that is. Well, I guess that "dead" could be considered a condition, but you know what I mean.
I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling, but I have so much on my mind. Nothing has been going right today. Well, it was going just fine until my selfish brother decided to take his own life! I mean, I finally get a date with Kari after- There I go again. I wish I could just forget about Matt for now. I don't even know if he's dead yet and he's already haunting me! Oh, that made sense! If he's not dead then he couldn't be haunting me, could he?
Maybe I should just hand you over to someone who will actually be able to explain to you what has happened up to this point. I'm obviously not exactly sane right now. I'm just going to leave you with a stanza of a poem that this is all reminding me of. It keeps repeating itself over and over in my head, so I guess that it's of some importance:
And all earth's colors disappear
To fight this feeling, there is no way
Lost in a world
In shades of grey
~Joe~
As you can probably tell, Tk's not exactly emotionally stable at the moment, so he's asked me to fill you in on the depressing details of the evening. I guess you can better understand it if you're living it. I know that you're probably sick of flashbacks by now, but one more isn't going to hurt.
"Okay Joe, the ambulance is on its way." Sora informed me as she made her way back into Matt's bedroom and joined Tai at the foot of his bed. I simply nodded and continued administering CPR.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Izzy asked.
"You can relieve me for a while. I'm getting dizzy." I told him
"Sure thing! We don't want you down for the count too." he replied as he took my place by the bed. I watched Izzy for a minute longer before I decided to go check on Tk. Mimi and Kari had taken him into the next room. He'd been in hysterics and although I could truly sympathize, he wasn't helping the situation any.
"How is he Joe?" Kari asked as I entered the room.
"No change." I told her. "We'll have to wait for the paramedics before we can do anything. For now, Izzy's working CPR. I turned my attention to Tk, who was leaning on Mimi's shoulder on the couch. "It might be a good idea to inform your parents about this Tk.
"Right." Tk sobbed and started for the kitchen phone.
"I'll go with you Tk" Kari called after him. Then, they both disappeared around the corner.
"Will he be alright Joe?" Mimi asked suddenly. Tears were streaming down her face.
"I don't know Mimi." I admitted. "It depends on how many of those pills he actually swallowed and how long he was lying there before we found him."
"Okay, I called my parents. They're going to meet us at the hospital." Tk told us as he and Kari reentered the room.
"I guess all that's left to do is wait." Kari sighed.
~Sora~
I guess you could say that the events kind of piece together like a puzzle. Because all of these things were going on at once, not one person has the whole story. Tai, Izzy and I didn't leave the room at all after the paramedics were called, so it's my turn to fill you in on what happened in there.
"It's all my fault!" Tai sobbed.
"Are you kidding?" I nearly forgot about the fact that we were suppose to be whispering. Izzy was still doing CPR and he wasn't exactly as informed as Tai and I were.
"I could have tried harder to come looking for him. I could have come here on lunch or something." he told me.
"Don't be so hard on yourself Tai. There was no way that you could have known what he was thinking." I reasoned, but then it hit me. I did know what he was thinking! I must have turned pretty pale because Tai put his hand on my head to check my temperature.
"Are you alright Sora?" he asked.
"No Tai, I'm not." I admitted.
"What's the problem?" he persisted.
"I knew what Matt was thinking. I mean, not totally, but-" I rambled.
"Whoa, Sora, relax! Slow down. What do you mean?"
"Well, before he came out of the closet, he kind of begged me to listen. He said that he had been talking to ghosts or something. I should have known that something wasn't right when-" I was interrupted. Thank God! Just then, the paramedics burst through the door and we were joined by Joe and the others. They did everything that they could before loading Matt on a gurney and bringing him to the ambulance.
"You ride with him Tk." Tai insisted
"No, Tai, you do it. I can't handle all of this. Besides, I want to meet my parents right away." Tk told him.
"Thank you." Tai sobbed as he followed the paramedics outside.
"We'll be right behind you Tai!" Mimi called.
"I'll bring your van!" I added, before the ambulance shut it's doors and took off toward the hospital. That's as far as I can take you. The only person who knows what happened next is Tai.
~Tai~
I'm still kind of in shock. It was bad enough that the love of my life had attempted suicide, but what happened next in the ambulance was just way too much to handle.
"I'll need some more information before we get to the hospital." the paramedic was saying. I just nodded. The sight of all of the weird looking equipment packed into the back of this thing was amazing!
"Sir?" the paramedic prodded.
"Oh sorry. I'll do my best, but maybe his brother should have done this instead." I admitted.
"I'm sure his brother knew what he was doing when he sent you. Now, I'll need his blood type." he began.
"A negative." I told him. Thank God Izzy took all of this info from us in the Digital World. He wanted to be prepared in case something ever happened on one of our adventures.
"Allergies?" he continued
"No, none." I told him. The questions continued like rapid fire until Matt started to convulse. It was the scariest thing that I had ever witnessed. He lost total control of his body and was flying everywhere and if that wasn't bad enough, the episode ended when his heartbeat did!
"You'll have to stand clear young man." a second paramedic told me as he reached for those shock pads that you see on ER all of the time in similar cases.
"Clear!" one shouted.
"Clear!" again nothing
"Clear!" thank God! His heart started again, just as we made it to the emergency room. They took Matt back to pump out his stomach and hopefully save his life.
~Mimi~
As far as I know that brings you back to the present and as far as I'm concerned, back into hell. Like Tk said earlier, it seems like it's been an eternity! Everyone has swollen and tired eyes and the mood is kind of, excuse the expression, dead.
"Look! There's the doctor!" Izzy exclaimed!
"Great." Tk moaned. "He's just coming to overlook us for the billionth time."
"No, he's actually heading this way!" Kari cheered. We were all on our feet as he came to meet us.
"Oh, how is he doctor?" Matt's mother asked.
"Yes, how is he?" his dad echoed.
"Suicide is not a pretty thing. He swallowed a hell of a lot of pills Mr. and Mrs. Ishida. He'll have to come back for counseling when he's well enough." We all gasped. Mrs. Takashi and Mr. Ishida didn't even correct him on the whole marriage thing. Matt was going to be okay!
"I can't believe it!" I squealed.
"That's great news!" Joe chimed in!
"Great! Now I get to kill him myself!" Tk shouted, angrily. Tai had become weak in the knees all of a sudden and Sora followed him down to the floor and held him. The rest of us were just grateful that it all turned out okay.
~Sora~
Matt's parents and Tk were obviously the first to be allowed into Matt's recovery room, but soon after, his parents left and the rest of us joined Tk. We made small talk for a while, when I noticed that Tai was becoming uneasy and suggested that we leave he and Matt alone for a while. The others were hesitant, but eventually followed my lead and regrouped down in the cafeteria. I hope everything went okay.
~Tai~
We were silent for a moment until Matt finally spoke.
"I'm really sorry Tai." he whispered, not looking at me.
"You should be!" I snapped. "That was the most selfish and irresponsible thing you could have ever done."
"Thanks mom. I heard that speech already." I said, sarcastically.
"And I'll keep saying it until you get it though your think skull. What were you thinking?" I asked.
~Matt~
"I was thinking that I was going to lose you to Sora!" I yelled. I must still be high on the anesthetic. Tai's right. What the hell am I thinking? Tai looked shocked.
"Matt, I know your secret." he whispered.
"You mean..."
"Yeah, Sora told me that you're gay." he admitted.
"I can't believe that Sora told! She promised that she wouldn't." I yelled.
"She did it for me." Tai told me.
"What?" I was confused. What could this possibly have to do with Tai?
"She did it because I've been hurting. She wanted to ease my pain." he continued.
"Your pain?" Now I was really confused.
~Tai~
"The pain of knowing that I could never have you. Keeping the fact that I'm gay from you. I've loved you for over a year Matt, but I could never tell you, until Sora told me that you were gay as well." I continued.
"But I saw you kissing her." he told me.
"I kissed her because I was happy. If I had my choice I'd be kissing you!" I admitted.
"You love me?" he asked.
"More than anything." I blushed.
"I can't believe this. After I-" he stopped.
"What Matt?" I persisted.
"I swallowed those pills because after I saw you kissing Sora I didn't want to live anymore."
"You attempted suicide because of me?" I asked.
"It's not your fault Tai. I should have talked to you first. I should have told you how I felt about you a long time ago." Matt sobbed.
"How do you feel Matt?" I asked.
"I love you Tai." It was music to my ears!
~Matt~
Tai came over and gently kissed my forehead, then I pulled him lower so that he could kiss my lips as well. I'm so glad that we could finally reveal our true feelings to one another. I just wish that we could have done it better and sooner then this. Life and love is so precious. I don't know why I ever tried suicide. I would have missed out on this perfect moment. Who knows? Maybe Tai and I will become an item. Of course we'd have to break the news to our family and friends, but it'll be worth all of the nerves that my body can conjure up.
I will go through counseling and it may take me a while to patch things up with Tk. He was pretty mad at me and I don't blame him. I was stupid, but now life seems a whole lot brighter. Tai and I have a very colorful future ahead of us and I can't wait to get started! It reminds me of a poem:
And all earth's colors disappear
To fight this feeling, there is no way
Lost in a world
In shades of grey
But when it seems the sun has set
And abandoned you, you can't forget
That all it takes is a little hope
For darkness to fade
And for the rainbow to bring in
Colors of love
~MPF
Author's Notes: So, I know that you're screaming SEQUEL! Or, at least I hope you are, because I do plan to continue this series. I'll just let it sit for a while while I work on some others, but please review this one while you wait!
Dedication: Yeah, normally dedications are at the start of a fic, but this is different. This fic is dedicated to my friend Ashley (soras_world) in the name of corruption! Don't worry if you don't get it. It's kinda a inside joke. My Taito/yaoi obsession began when I read her first Taito and I owe the inspiration for this fic to her. Always remember: