***
Lee barely had a chance to greet his caller, before there was a knock at his front door. Knowing it was Amanda just by the way she knocked, he opened the door. Smiling at his wife, he tried to concentrate on what Billy was saying. "No, Billy, I don't know why Doctor Smyth would want to see us in your office tomorrow."
After she shut the door behind her, Amanda held up her left hand and pointed to her ring finger. Finally, she pointed at him. "I'm sure it's no--" Lee stopped talking when he realized what Amanda's game of charades meant. His entire focus shifted to her. He noticed the taunt skin around her mouth, the lack of a smile, and the dark circles under her eyes. The last two days had put a horrible strain on her, but she had managed to keep up her spirits somewhat. She believed her mother would eventually calm down and talk to her. The woman now looked ready to fall apart before his eyes.
"Lee, are you still there?" Billy's question reminded him that he had the phone in his hand.
Never taking his eyes off Amanda, he answered. "Uh, Billy, we'll talk about it tomorrow."
There was a long pause before his friend and supervisor said anything else. "I'm not going to like it, am I, Stetson?"
Thinking of his own response, knowing how his life was going to be forever changed, Lee about answered no. Then, he thought of all the times Billy had gently teased him about Amanda, how hard the other man worked to get Lee to notice how perfect Amanda was for him. "Billy, I think--I think you are going to have mixed emotions tomorrow."
Lee could picture his friend sitting on the other side of the phone line. He would be leaning on his elbow; his eyebrows would be drawn together in a concentrated frown, as he thought about what Lee was and was not saying. "Lee--"
"Billy, I would tell you more, but I think Amanda needs me right now." He wanted to be the one to tell his friend, not Doctor Smyth, but--"Why don't we meet in your office at eight thirty in the morning? That will give us a half hour before Smyth gets there."
An almost inaudible sigh told Lee that Billy was agreeing. "Oh, and Billy, can you have Francine there, too? I want her to hear it from us." Amanda nodded, letting him know that she agreed. Lee had never understood the murky relationship between his wife and Francine. While neither one had anything in common with the other, and probably never would, both had intense respect and loyalty to the other now. Not that they often showed it. Quips and snide remarks filled their everyday relationship, but even that had changed over the years into a gentle teasing.
Taking a deep breath, Lee hung up the phone. A day he had spent dreading was here; tomorrow would determine his future. His professional life was not a big concern. Before Amanda, the possible thought of losing it would have devastated him. Now, he was bothered by the idea of working in the field without her by his side. They worked well together, better than he had ever clicked with any other partner. Her strengths were his weaknesses and vice versa.
But the idea that terrified him was that he would be put at a desk job while she was put into the field with another agent. A younger Lee would have run screaming from the paper work, but now he was more worried about Amanda. She would be out there, drawing danger like a magnet, and he would not be there to protect her back. What if she worked with an operative that did not understand her unique strengths? Telling her to stay in the car never worked for him, and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it would not work for her new partner. But then why would the new one even try? They would be co-workers. The faceless colleague took on almost mythical portions in his mind. Had for years really.
Amanda tossed her coat on the couch. "Mother told Doctor Smyth." The almost unblinking woman that entered his apartment a few minutes before became a tornado of activity. She yanked up her coat and put in the closet. She began straightening the magazines on the table.
"Your mother knows?" Lee felt the familiar quicksand nipping at his heels. While he did better keeping up know, Amanda could still lose him with her thought patterns.
She stopped dusting the table with her hand. Her laugh was curt and held not a note of humor in it. "She had a complete background check ran on us, and the marriage license was noticed." She began pacing his small living room.
Lee shook his head, not completely understanding. "Complete background? You and I aren't due one of those--"
Amanda stopped to look at him. She carefully pronounced each of her words, like she was talking to a small child. "Lee, my mother somehow managed to have a complete background check ran on us."
He exhaled when he realized what she meant. "Dotty knows someone that high up the ladder?"
She threw her arms up in frustration, before throwing herself down on his couch. "I guess so. I don't know. I came home to find my mother leaving with suitcases in her hands--"
Lee sat down beside her, not too close, wanting to give her the space she needed. "Where was she going?"
She took a deep breath and laid her head back on his couch. He hated seeing her eyes closed, as if she were trying to hide her pain away from him. "Her new home, I would assume."
He did not want to believe it. "Dotty moved out?"
Amanda nodded her head, but still refused to look at him. A tear forced its way out from beneath her eyelids. "Yes, she did. She didn't even--" Amanda finally opened her eyes, letting him see the pain tearing her apart inside. "Lee, she didn't even bother to try to talk to me. She had movers come in the middle of the day. She was so angry! Aunt Katherine assured me that she would fine, that she just needed time."
Lee reached out and drew her to him. She resisted for a moment, struggling to pull back from his embrace. Then, the floodgates opened. Great racking sobs shook her body. Hearing her cry hurt him, but she taught him long ago that it was best to get the pain out instead of denying it. Sometimes, not often, he worried that she was becoming like him, the old him. She tried to hide her hurts too much. After Birol, she had immediately jumped back into the work, denying that anything was wrong with her. The Agency was becoming her escape, as it had once been his.
After the storm had calmed, he gently picked Amanda up from the couch and carried her into their bedroom. He lowered her onto the bed before tossing off his shoes--and pulling off Amanda's. Even though he was not tired, he laid down beside her. He held her close to his chest, wishing he could take away her pain.
He thought about Dotty and her reaction. As he showed Katherine around D.C., they had talked about Dotty. Katherine had not been very forthcoming about the past, but she had been certain Dotty would be able to handle the news about her daughter. Lee had agreed. He thought she would one day explode in anger, and then the two of them would be able to work it out. Why had learning the truth upset Dotty so much?
Amanda's lips met his in a desperate kiss. Her hands began to unbutton his shirt. For a moment, he considered letting her continue. It had been over a week since they had found any time to be together this way. He knew better though. Ignoring his screaming need, he pulled his mouth away from hers. "Amanda--"
She leaned her forehead against his chest. "Lee, don't--"
"Never in desperation. Remember?" It was their agreement, reached during the Stemwinder case. Tired, frightened, and so desperately alone, they had almost made a mistake. One night, they had turned to each other and started to passionately kiss. It had not taken long for their hot bodies to urge them to go further. Lee had regained his senses in time.
He had struggled to explain why he did not want their first time to be done with anguished fear driving them. He had been there too many times before with too many faceless women. Fearing that tomorrow could be their last made people act stupid by doing things they would not normally do. Having just told this woman that he loved her, he found it hard to admit to what an idiot he had been in the past, but Amanda understood his vague references. Holding her close, he told her that she was too important to him to dare chance it. He could easily remember the feeling of disgust that the morning after brought with it. Lee refused to let Amanda experience that bitter aftertaste. They had agreed to never go to bed together in desperation. There had been a few times that they had been tempted, but . . ..
Amanda sighed as she turned her back to him. He knew she was not angry with him. He curled his body around hers, drawing her close. Gently stroking her hair out of the way, he leaned over and kissed her neck. He could feel her smile in his soul.
He flinched from the noise when she finally decided to talk. "I have to find out what happened to my father."
He thought of a thousand arguments against it, but he remembered his own driving need to find out what happened to his parents, to learn if they were traitors. Amanda had stood beside him through it all, even when she had not been comfortable with the lying and sneaking around that they had done. Sighing heavily, he asked what she wanted to do first.
Amanda stroked his arm. "They keep the old records somewhere in Virginia, right?"
Lee nodded, knowing what she wanted to do. "Yes, they do, and I already know where."
His wife turned in his arms to look at him. He saw the gratitude there, but he wanted to explain she did not need to be thankful. She had backed him up too many times for him to deny her now. He could not find the words. Amanda kissed him hard on the lips. "I know," she whispered before getting out of their bed. "I am anyway."
***
Amanda thought Lee had brought her to the wrong building at first. The plain white washed walls of the warehouse did little to make the building look good. It looked as if it had been quickly built as a warehouse property, and should have been torn down a decade ago. It had none of the Georgetown charm that the Agency's building did. However, inside that place, it held just as many secrets, if not more, than IFF did.
Taking a deep breath, Amanda nodded. Lee and she stepped out of the 'vette at the same time. Putting his hand on her back, he guided her into the building. As he talked to the security guards, she hoped they would not ask her any questions. Her mind was so chaotic, she was not even sure she would answer the annoying and frequent drive-thru question: "Would you like fries with that?"
Inside the bowels of this building were answers she was not even sure she wanted to know. If life had continued on as before, if her mother had not been so hurt, then Amanda might have been able to ignore the truth about Carl West. A part of her did not want to know, because she knew too much, had learned too much, from her years with the Agency. She could recite examples of ways people had been killed in this business, and she had learned personally how good men could go bad. No one had even hinted that her father had turned traitor, but it could be a reason why no one wanted to talk about him.
As they walked down the long hallway, Amanda's thoughts echoed through her mind. Did she really have the courage to face what might be in those files? She hoped she did, and she prayed that whatever she found would give her enough answers to help her heal the wounds between her and her mother. "Unfortunately," Lee whispered in her ear, "Julia Marshall is still here for some reason. If we can get past her, then we are in."
It took Amanda a moment to recognize the name. "The Julia Marshall? The one you all joke about having more power than Doctor Smyth?" Lee's laughter helped her to relax her aching muscles. After they left today, she would ask her husband to use his magic fingers all over her tired body.
As if he could read her mind, Lee started to rub his hand across her back. "Yeah, she's that one. It seems like she does sometimes. She's his assistant, even if she's never been given that title as far as I know. If something doesn't get past her, Doctor Smyth does not see it, no matter how much you whine or beg."
Amanda felt her stomach curl at the news. "Do you think we will be able to get in?"
Lee walked several steps before answering. "I hope so, but she's a tough ol' broad."
Amanda smiled as Lee stopped in front of the last door on the right. "You don't have to knock," the guard escorting them said. "She knows you are coming."
Lee took a deep breath, looked at Amanda, and opened the door. Expecting to find a dragon, she instead saw a petite lady looking back at them from behind a small desk. The dragon was an elf. Amanda shifted when she experienced a nagging sense of familiarity. She knew she had never met this woman before today. "Oh, Mandy, don't think you should leave it alone?" The elf's voice was magical--light and airy.
Lee's head snapped around in surprise to look at Amanda. She shook her head. "You know me?"
A small gleam of moisture gleamed in Julia's eyes as she stood up from her desk. She wore a tiny smile on her lips. "Yes, I do, Mandy. I used to burp you when you were a baby, and I saw you struggle with your first bicycle. I used to visit Dotty and Carl all the time before--Anyway, I used to see you a lot until just after your fourth birthday."
Amanda placed her hands on the back of the chair in front of her, leaning on it for support. "You know my parents?"
Julia nodded as she walked around her desk. She stood in front of Amanda, her eyes roaming as if she wanted to drink in everything about Amanda. "Yes, I did. We all used to meet at your parents house a lot. I'm surprised that you don't remember it."
She laughed to keep from crying. She remembered Doctor Smyth's words. "My u--Doctor Smyth told me that a lot of the agents used to be friends. And I told him that I've had dreams since I started working at the Agency, but I thought--they weren't anything like the childhood I could remember. And I just knew that I had never been in the bullpen, and I knew Mother did not allow everyone we knew to just drop by unannounced."
Julia leaned against her desk. "She used to, a long time ago."
Amanda thought of her mother's reaction to learning about Amanda's spying activities. "I'm surprised Mother accepted you all being there so easily."
Julia crossed her arms and looked down at her feet. "Accepted us? Amanda, your mother was around us all a lot of the time. We were her friends just as much, if not more, than we were Carl's."
Amanda closed her eyes. Lee's hands rested on her shoulders, gently rubbing them. Without his hands supporting her, she doubted she would have been able to stay standing. "Don't tell me she was a spy, too."
Julia shook her head. "No, she was not a spy, but she was a civilian helper like you were before Stemwinder. A lot like you were actually."
Lee made a chocking sound behind her, but Amanda found it impossible to speak. She should not be surprised. Honestly, she should not be, but she was.
***