Lee could not believe the information he had heard. He could only begin to imagine how Amanda had to be feeling. After her startling revelation, Julia Marshall had casually asked Lee and Amanda to sit down. She called for coffee to be delivered, and then made small talk about the business as they waited for the refreshments to arrive.
He met Julia Marshall a few times over the years, and the woman in front of him was not here. Well, she was, but--When he called her a tough ol' broad earlier, he had been playing nice. Usually, she was a witch. The wicked witch of Oz, if she had ever been called in front of Julia Marshall, would have trembled in fear. The smiling, kind woman in front of him was a shock, to put it mildly.
She poured them all a cup of coffee before getting back to the reason why Amanda was here. Julia, as she asked them to call her, was behaving wildly out of character. Amanda seemed to be the cause. Surely, she was not a surprise aunt? His in-laws had already increased enough in number for Lee.
If he went to the Agency right now and told them that Julia Marshall had poured him coffee and smiled, he knew exactly what response he would hear. "What have you been smoking, Scarecrow?" He would not blame one of them for asking. He was too busy asking himself the same question.
"Mandy," Julia was saying to Amanda, "your father's files are here--on microfilm. I'll let you read them, if you want to, but, Amanda, I have to warn you. Your father's death is best left alone."
His wife shook her head. "I can't. My mother--I have to know what happened them so I can deal with the now."
Julia smiled sadly as she walked to stand in front of them. "You remind me a lot of Dotty West, young lady. Your mother was always stubborn; your father was, too, actually. I owe a lot to both of them. If it had not been for Dotty, I would not be here today."
"She saved your life?" Amanda's voice squeaked.
Julia laughed. "No, I meant that I would not be at this job. She went to bat for me with Smyth back in the days when he was Section Chief. Told him that I was a damn find organizer, and I would be better as his right-hand man than the one he was considering. The other applicant only had one advantage over me--he was male! Times were a lot different back then." She shook her head, smiling at the memory. "Anyway, he chose me--reluctantly--and within a couple of weeks he was thrilled that he had." They all smiled at the anecdote about Doctor Smyth.
Julia leaned back and reached inside her top desk drawer. She brought out a set of keys. "These will get you where you want to go." She placed them in Amanda's hands.
Lee looked down at the keys in amazement. If someone was able to get inside the vault, an armed guard escorted him or her at all times. As if reading his thoughts, Julia said, "I trust you both, and I think Amanda needs to face this without a stranger standing over her shoulder. Besides," she finished, sounding like the Julia Marshall Lee knew. "We have cameras throughout the room, so we will know if you go out of bounds."
***
With her eyes closed, Amanda took a deep breath. She could do this, she knew she could, but did she want to? The last few days had been a roller coaster of emotions for her. They upset her more than she wanted to admit. She watched her dream world dissolve into a soap opera. Her nice suburban parents had been spies. Dotty had been a "civilian", but Amanda knew from experience how much a "civilian" could do in the Agency. Disarming nuclear missiles, taking out arms dealers, tracking down traitors . . . the list was endless.
Opening her eyes, she began to read the information on the screen. Lee stood a few feet away from her on her left, giving her room, but remaining close by in case she needed him. Scrolling through her father's files, she noted how much of it was blackened out, a sure indication that he had been involved in some sensitive cases. She knew Lee's file would look similar, and Billy recently joked about hers being the same way. She wondered where they kept the copies of the blacked out pages. Surely, someone somewhere needed to know what was behind those huge black streaks of ink.
The black streaks began during her father's military days in Korea. He had not stumbled into it like she had when he returned to the States. Her father might have been a full-blown operative before she was even born. He had been good, too, because his record overflowed with commendation after commendation. She remembered the first one she had received, her first sight of the President's signature at the bottom. She had wanted to race home and share it with her family. Instead, it now hung in the Q-bureau, unseen by them and unmentioned by her. Had her father ever felt that way? How many times had he come home with a large grin on his face, unable to share why with those he loved? Or had he? When had Dotty gotten involved? There was not even a notation about her in his record outside of "Spouse's Name".
She found it. The report on her father's death. Her trained eyes went to the agent of record's signature first, noticing that it was a name she knew. He had retired not long after she had met Lee, and she had only talked to him once that she could remember. However, she could recall the feeling of disquiet that had struck her at the time. She thought he was an odd man. Now, looking back, she realized that he had known who she was and was wondering how much information she had about her father.
She made a mental note to look him up one day soon. The way the intelligence community was about gossip, she would have heard if he had died. What could he tell her about Carl West at work? The laughing, joking man she had known would hardly make a good agent in her opinion. Would Philip and Jamie be saying that about her in twenty years if they found out about her?
Her eyes skimmed over the page as she struggled to remain detached. It was not her father she was reading about, it was--It was her father she was reading about. She could not stop the pain from shooting through her at seeing his death described so coldly and mechanically. As an agent, she understood. As a daughter, she did not.
He had been shot during a struggle with a Soviet Bloc agent. Agent West died almost instantly as the bullet struck him in the heart. His partner, Agent Billy Miles, had then shot the unidentified Soviet Agent. The man had been preparing to assassinate the deceased's daughter when Agent West--
***
A loud gasp, then a chocking sound, alerted Lee that something was wrong. He turned and found his wife deathly pale. Even the first time she watched someone die, she had not looked so sickly. He should have known better. He should have came alone to read the documents, and then delicately told Amanda what was inside them. But he had not wanted to take on her stubbornness.
He turned her chair so that she was looking at him instead of the machine in front of her. "Amanda? Are you all right?"
Tears streamed down her face as she struggled to regain control of her breathing. Pointing to the machine beside her, she tried to say something. "Me," was what it sounded like it, but that did not make any sense to Lee, and he had grown fairly fluent in "Amanda" over the years. "What do you mean, Amanda? What are you saying?"
She leaned forward, shuddering as he put her head on his shoulder. "Me," she whispered. "They were trying to kill me." Lee held his breath when he realized what she was saying. He understood why Katherine and Doctor Smyth had tried to warn her away. To find out that you parent died trying to protect you--
"Amanda--" He struggled to find words of comfort, but they eluded him. Great racking sobs began to emerge from Amanda. He sank down to the floor, drawing his wife down into his lap. Then, gently, he began rocking her as his tears joined hers.
***
When they left the vault an hour later, they headed back towards Julia's office to return her keys. As they approached it, they could hear the sound of Doctor Smyth's raised voice coming through the door. Knowing how thick that door was, Lee knew Doctor Smyth was in high temper if they could hear him. Amanda managed to smile weakly and shake her head as Lee winced. He briefly considered returning the keys to the guard at the front door, but that would violate procedure. More importantly, it would violate Julia's trust.
As if knowing the conflicting impulses raging in him, she leaned over to whisper. "It's okay. He's my uncle."
Lee started to laugh, and Amanda joined him. Of all the people in the world that she could be related to, he would have put Doctor Smyth at the very bottom of the possibility list. He could not think of two people who were less alike. His bubbly wife was in no way similar to the mocking man that ran the Agency. Blue Leader, who had followed his agents around and talked to them only through a complicated system of radios, had had more warmth than Doctor Smyth.
The door swung open in front of them before they could even knock. "I'll talk to you--" Doctor Smyth started as he almost ran them over. He backed away from the door and motioned for them to enter in front of him.
Lee watched Doctor Smyth's eyes scan Amanda's face for distress. Until that day in Amanda's home, he had never seen Smyth lose his temper, not in the way he had in Amanda's den. Yelling was too passionate of a chore for him; today he had been doing the same yelling. Smyth cared about Amanda, about his family. He really did, and the idea of it blew Lee away. He wondered if Amanda could see the hint of tender alarm on their boss's face? What was he thinking? It was his wife; Amanda read people like a college professor read words. It was as natural as breathing for her.
The four people in the room shuffled around uneasily. Finally, Doctor Smyth spoke. His words were for Amanda, but his eyes stayed on Julia. "She should have never let you see them."
Amanda pushed her hair behind her ears. "I needed to know."
Julia's jaw was firm, and her arms were crossed, as she looked back at Doctor Smyth. She was not afraid of the man. "She had the right to see them, Austin."
Doctor Smyth's lips curled. "Why? Do you know how many good people there are that do not have a clue what happened to their parents in reality? What stories they have been told?" It was obviously an old argument between them.
"Lies," Lee said quietly. He remembered all the stories he had been told.
Amanda flinched as if he had slapped her. Lee started to ask her what was wrong when Doctor Smyth spoke. "Fine, lies. Most people never even have the chance to know, let alone get the details. Amanda did not need the details."
"But I wanted them," Amanda whispered. "And I did need them. Mother needs me to know."
Doctor Smyth leaned on the desk and sighed. He looked tired. "Dotty does not want you to know. If she did, she would have told you herself."
"She wouldn't have told me that! She--" Lee's hand on her shoulder stopped her from raging at the man. He understood her anger, but he also knew she was emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Now was not the time to be picking fights.
"We have an early morning appointment tomorrow, Amanda," he reminded her, gently urging her towards the door. "It's late. We need to go home and get some sleep." It was one of her old arguments, one that she had used many times before their wedding. A wry grin touched her lips briefly before she nodded.
Doctor Smyth stood, his cool mask back in place. "Yes, we all have some questions that we want answered, don't we?" With that gentle taunt still in the air, he walked past them and left the room.
***