"Amanda!" Aunt Katherine's smile widened. "I didn't expect to see you tonight. Come on in and tell me what happened earlier."
Relaxing from the warm greeting, Amanda entered the apartment. Everything had been put into places; all the boxes were missing. "I see you're moved in now."
Katherine looked around her apartment, a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Yes, I am for now. I may be moving again soon though. They need an operative in France."
Amanda followed Katherine into the living room. She noticed the stack of photo albums on the coffee table. A bottle of vodka--with only a drink or two gone--and an empty glass sat beside the albums. "It's not your fault," she said.
Katherine motioned for her to sit as she picked another glass of the bar. "Yes, it is. I didn't expect it, but it is my fault. I should have warned you, but I didn't have the courage to talk about--about Carl."
She poured them both a glass of Vodka. Amanda almost declined, but found herself reaching for it. The boys would not be home tonight. Joe had agreed to keep them, and Lee knew where she was. There was little chance that Dotty would try to contact her. The fiery liquid burned her throat. "Smooth," she said, slightly chocking.
Katherine laughed, sitting down on the couch. "That's one of describing it."
"You are not really thinking about another assignment overseas are you?" Even though Katherine's arrival had revealed that her life had been a lie since before she had been born, Amanda wanted her to stay in DC.
Katherine swished the clear liquid around in her glass, watching it as it slide up the edge of the glass. "Yes, Amanda, I am." She looked at the quiet woman sitting across from her. "I'm sorry. I should have never come back."
While Amanda did not agree, she decided not to fight with her tonight. "Why did you come back?"
Katherine smiled. "Honestly? I'm not sure." Her gaze rested on the photo albums before her. "After you've been in this business so long, you get to be so good at the lying that you can even fake yourself out. Do you know what I mean?"
Amanda nodded, remembering all the times recently where she told herself that she was not scared. Sometimes, not often, she believed it. Lee had faked himself out for years, believing he did not care about anyone, that he did not want to care about anyone.
Katherine finished the vodka in her glass, and poured herself another one. She held out the bottle, silently offering to pour Amanda more, but she shook her head no. She wanted a clear head; she wanted answers to question she still did not know.
"Me, I told myself that death was something was just a part of this business. Lied and said I was used to it." She looked down into the liquid as if it were a crystal ball waiting to give her the answers. "You don't get used to it. Never."
Amanda remembered the sick horror she had felt when a waitress had died before her eyes. She experienced that same horror every time someone died. Even as her heart ached for people she barely knew, or maybe had never even met, she was glad that she cared. She wanted to care. The minute she stopped, she would quit the Agency.
"He had started talking about retiring, settling down. I'd laugh, even though I knew he was serious. We had been partners for over a decade, but the thought of him leaving scared me."
Amanda could see the tears glistening in Katherine's eyes. Even though she did not know whom Katherine was talking about, she knew he was dead. "You were lovers?"
Katherine wiped her face before she looked back up at Amanda. "No," she said, a smile on his face. "We were friends, best friends. He knew my heart had been stolen long before he met me. The bastard left me a note telling me that he loved me, but he never had the courage to tell me while he was alive, to fight for me."
Amanda finished her drink and poured herself another glass. "You love someone else?"
Silence filled the room as Katherine stared out the window. Vodka splashed out onto the coffee table when she poured herself another glass. "Yes, I do. After Ramón died, after I got done crying for him, I told myself that I was long over my past infatuation, that I could come back and just enjoy my family without worrying what he would think or how it would feel to see him again."
Looking down at the photo album, Amanda noticed a wedding picture she had not seen before. It was of Katherine and Doctor Smyth. There was a softness in Doctor Smyth's eyes that Amanda had never seen, and Katherine's face beamed with joy. "You and Doctor Smyth?"
Katherine giggled at the disbelief in Amanda's voice. "Yes, Austin. He's really charming, Amanda, when he's not trying to play the iceman. He used to never play the iceman. That part of him didn't exist until Carl died. After Carl died, he would not let him self care for the younger agents. He didn't want to be their friends, because it hurt too much to lose them."
She wiped away more tears. "I'm sorry, Amanda. You are finding out all my secrets tonight. I'm a weepy drunk."
Amanda pulled the photo album off the table and onto her lap. She traced over the picture of Doctor Smyth. "I've seen him thaw some since I found out about who he is, but I can't picture him as charming."
"I know you can't, Amanda, and that's a real shame." Katherine stood on wobbly legs and walked over to her desk drawer. She brought back a picture encased in a beautiful pewter frame. "Here's our engagement picture. We took it the day before--"
Amanda took the picture from her aunt's hands. The photograph had been handled many times before being put into the frame. The wear it had endured over the years was obvious. The love and joy of the two people--much older than they had been at the wedding--captured by the camera was just as obvious. "You were married?"
Katherine shook her head, falling back onto the couch. "No, just engaged. That photo never even made it into the papers. I'd chased after the man for years. I would look elsewhere, but I always wanted him. No one else could compare for me, but he only saw me as Carl's little sister. As horrible as it sounds, I joined the Agency to just be with him. He was furious that Harry had--" She sighed. "That's another story altogether."
"We were only a few months from the wedding. You were supposed to meet him that night at dinner. Or re-meet him, I guess I should say. To this day, I don't know what happened," Katherine whispered.
"What do you mean?" Amanda's heart beat so loudly, she was sure Katherine could hear it.
Her aunt guzzled down the remainder of her glass. "I watched him stand before our families and lie to them. I understood why Carl had 'died' in a car accident, but I didn't understand the fury Dotty had, or the reason why he told everyone he had been driving the car. That he was responsible for Carl's death. Then, he told everyone that I had broken off our engagement, because I could not marry the man who killed my brother. He didn't even give me a chance to protest. He turned and walked away."
The tears rained down. "I'm sorry," she muttered, grabbing some tissue from a nearby box. "I'm not usually a cry baby."
"Aunt Katherine, I--"
She shook her head, stopping Amanda from admitting about what she had discovered earlier. "He stopped by an hour ago to tell me about your visit, and Julia's 'betrayal'. I had been begging him to tell you, thinking that maybe it would help heal your relationship with Dotty. He told me that I did not know everything, and should keep my nose from butting where it was not welcome."
"He can be a jerk, too."
Katherine laughed as she cried. "Yes, he can. I know what you found today, and I suspect that it is not the whole story. But I don't know the whole story. I would 'betray' him, too, and tell you if I did."
Amanda drained the last sip of vodka from the glass before sitting down on the table. "There seems to be only one other person I can ask."
"Dotty." Katherine hiccupped.
Amanda sat down her glass, her decision made. "Yes, I'm going to have to ask my mother why she is so angry, since my dear uncle is not going to tell me."
***