Chapter 2 - You'll be sorry when I'm gone
*****
The next morning, Lauren was walking through the halls with Harry, holding hands, laughing and talking.
"Did you hear?" Marylin asked. "Steven's called an emergency faculty meeting this morning."
"When is it?" Lauren asked.
"Now," Marylin said. "In the teacher's lounge. Come on."
"Oh great," Harry said. "Let's hope this doesn't waste too much of our time."
*****
It took several minutes for the faculty to gather in the faculty lounge. Steven wasn't even there. Everyone looked confused; no one could tell Lauren what this was about. When Steven finally arrived, he looked terrible, as if he hadn't slept all night.
"I called you all in here today," he said solemnly, "to tell you about something that happened last night. Before Cheryl Holt can get a hold of this. You should be prepared. Last night - last night Scott Guber tried to kill himself."
Gasps and cries of "Oh my God" could be heard throughout the room. Steven held up his hands for silence. "He's alright for now. Right now he's in the hospital, and the doctors think he'll be okay. I just wanted to let you know about this."
*****
Lauren was stunned. She couldn't believe this. How could Scott have - ? It just didn't make any sense.
Harry put his arm around her. "Are you okay?" he whispered.
She nodded and tried to focus on Steven's words. He was saying something about letting the students know.
When the meeting ended, Lauren shook off Harry's arm and talk quickly to her classroom. She heard Marylin say behind her, "Just let her go Harry. She just wants some time to herself."
When she passed the office, she couldn't resist the temptation to go in. She walked into his office and sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk, as if she were just waiting for him to come in. Feelings of sorrow and grief overcame her. She'd been so cold to him. Maybe, maybe if she'd been nicer to him, or maybe if she'd gone on that date with him, he wouldn't have been possesed to kill himself. Lauren put her head down on his desk and cried.
She didn't know why she felt so upset over this. He hadn't even died. All she knew was that she felt terrible. And she wanted to see him. No, she had to see him.
The ringing of the bell to begin the day jerked her out of her reverie. She quickly tried to compose herself and walked off to class.
*****
After school she practically ran out of school and sped over to the hospital. When she got there, she just sat in her car, staring up at the building feeling foolish. What was she supposed to say to him? They weren't particularly close friends, and she had made it clear to him over the past several weeks that she wasn't fond of him at all.
Finally, she screwed up her courage and just marched right in. She got his room number from the receptionist at the main desk. He was up in the psychiatric ward.
The psychiatric ward was a pretty frightening place. She had to buzz just to get permission to enter, and then someone escorted her to Scott's room.
Lauren stood outside it for several minutes. He looked so small and vulnerable lying in the hospital bed. Finally she walked in. He looked like he was asleep, so she pulled a chair over to his bed and sat in it patiently.
Finally he woke up. He sat up and looked at her in confusion.
"Miss Davis, what are you doing here?"
"I - I wanted to see you Scott. To see if you were all right. We're all worried about you at Winslow."
Scott lay back down in bed. "I'm sure they're all so concerned," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Scott! Everyone is really worried. You know, you're not as hated as you may think."
He smiled at her patronizingly. "That's nice of you to say Miss Davis."
Rather than let that patronizing smile get to her, she quickly changed the subject. "So when do you think you'll get out of here?"
"Probably in a few days."
"Oh, well I hope you feel better soon."
"I feel fine. They just want to keep me in here until they're sure that I won't do this again."
"Will you?"
"I don't know. I wouldn't have even thought myself capable of trying to kill myself once."
"Oh."
He looked at her. "Is there anything else Lauren?"
"Oh, well, I just wanted you to know how much we all care about you and how much we are worried about you." She paused. "How much I care about you."
He turned to her. "You - you care about me?" A wild look of hope flashed in his eyes.
"Well - yes Scott. Of course I care."
"Is - is it like - like a friendly care or like a boyfriend care?"
"Scott! You know I'm dating Harry. How could you even ask such a thing?"
"My psychiatrist tells me that I should just say what I feel. And what I'm feeling right now, is curiosity as to how you care about me." He took a deep breath before plunging on. "Lauren, I love you." Scott looked at her with such intense passion that she was almost afraid. Even Harry never looked at her with such pure and open love.
"Scott, I - " Lauren wanted to just say him that she didn't love him. But a variety of feelings stopped her. The first was a fear of what he might do to himself if she just told him flat out that she didn't love him. But mostly, the reason she didn't tell him that she didn't love him was because she didn't know. While she did have feelings for Harry, she felt so worried and scared about Scott that it scared her.
" - I don't know," she admitted.
"You don't know? Why not?"
"Because - because - "
"Well," Scott said impatiently.
"Because I think I love you!" Lauren blurted out. She clasped her hand to her mouth in shock and ran out of the room, leaving Scott behind saying "Lauren? Lauren? Come back here Lauren. What do you mean by that?"
*****
The next morning, Lauren was walking through the halls with Harry, holding hands, laughing and talking.
"Did you hear?" Marylin asked. "Steven's called an emergency faculty meeting this morning."
"When is it?" Lauren asked.
"Now," Marylin said. "In the teacher's lounge. Come on."
"Oh great," Harry said. "Let's hope this doesn't waste too much of our time."
*****
It took several minutes for the faculty to gather in the faculty lounge. Steven wasn't even there. Everyone looked confused; no one could tell Lauren what this was about. When Steven finally arrived, he looked terrible, as if he hadn't slept all night.
"I called you all in here today," he said solemnly, "to tell you about something that happened last night. Before Cheryl Holt can get a hold of this. You should be prepared. Last night - last night Scott Guber tried to kill himself."
Gasps and cries of "Oh my God" could be heard throughout the room. Steven held up his hands for silence. "He's alright for now. Right now he's in the hospital, and the doctors think he'll be okay. I just wanted to let you know about this."
*****
Lauren was stunned. She couldn't believe this. How could Scott have - ? It just didn't make any sense.
Harry put his arm around her. "Are you okay?" he whispered.
She nodded and tried to focus on Steven's words. He was saying something about letting the students know.
When the meeting ended, Lauren shook off Harry's arm and talk quickly to her classroom. She heard Marylin say behind her, "Just let her go Harry. She just wants some time to herself."
When she passed the office, she couldn't resist the temptation to go in. She walked into his office and sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk, as if she were just waiting for him to come in. Feelings of sorrow and grief overcame her. She'd been so cold to him. Maybe, maybe if she'd been nicer to him, or maybe if she'd gone on that date with him, he wouldn't have been possesed to kill himself. Lauren put her head down on his desk and cried.
She didn't know why she felt so upset over this. He hadn't even died. All she knew was that she felt terrible. And she wanted to see him. No, she had to see him.
The ringing of the bell to begin the day jerked her out of her reverie. She quickly tried to compose herself and walked off to class.
*****
After school she practically ran out of school and sped over to the hospital. When she got there, she just sat in her car, staring up at the building feeling foolish. What was she supposed to say to him? They weren't particularly close friends, and she had made it clear to him over the past several weeks that she wasn't fond of him at all.
Finally, she screwed up her courage and just marched right in. She got his room number from the receptionist at the main desk. He was up in the psychiatric ward.
The psychiatric ward was a pretty frightening place. She had to buzz just to get permission to enter, and then someone escorted her to Scott's room.
Lauren stood outside it for several minutes. He looked so small and vulnerable lying in the hospital bed. Finally she walked in. He looked like he was asleep, so she pulled a chair over to his bed and sat in it patiently.
Finally he woke up. He sat up and looked at her in confusion.
"Miss Davis, what are you doing here?"
"I - I wanted to see you Scott. To see if you were all right. We're all worried about you at Winslow."
Scott lay back down in bed. "I'm sure they're all so concerned," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Scott! Everyone is really worried. You know, you're not as hated as you may think."
He smiled at her patronizingly. "That's nice of you to say Miss Davis."
Rather than let that patronizing smile get to her, she quickly changed the subject. "So when do you think you'll get out of here?"
"Probably in a few days."
"Oh, well I hope you feel better soon."
"I feel fine. They just want to keep me in here until they're sure that I won't do this again."
"Will you?"
"I don't know. I wouldn't have even thought myself capable of trying to kill myself once."
"Oh."
He looked at her. "Is there anything else Lauren?"
"Oh, well, I just wanted you to know how much we all care about you and how much we are worried about you." She paused. "How much I care about you."
He turned to her. "You - you care about me?" A wild look of hope flashed in his eyes.
"Well - yes Scott. Of course I care."
"Is - is it like - like a friendly care or like a boyfriend care?"
"Scott! You know I'm dating Harry. How could you even ask such a thing?"
"My psychiatrist tells me that I should just say what I feel. And what I'm feeling right now, is curiosity as to how you care about me." He took a deep breath before plunging on. "Lauren, I love you." Scott looked at her with such intense passion that she was almost afraid. Even Harry never looked at her with such pure and open love.
"Scott, I - " Lauren wanted to just say him that she didn't love him. But a variety of feelings stopped her. The first was a fear of what he might do to himself if she just told him flat out that she didn't love him. But mostly, the reason she didn't tell him that she didn't love him was because she didn't know. While she did have feelings for Harry, she felt so worried and scared about Scott that it scared her.
" - I don't know," she admitted.
"You don't know? Why not?"
"Because - because - "
"Well," Scott said impatiently.
"Because I think I love you!" Lauren blurted out. She clasped her hand to her mouth in shock and ran out of the room, leaving Scott behind saying "Lauren? Lauren? Come back here Lauren. What do you mean by that?"