Title: Head Case3
Name: Joy
Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com
Rating: PG 13
Max woke up, and sat bolt up in bed. She was drowning. She clutched at her throat and coughed.
"Max, Max," Logan said, shaking her slightly, "It's OK. I'm right here."
"I can't breath. The water…the bathtub. It was so peaceful then dark…"
"I knew I shouldn't have told you. I'm sorry…" he said, comforting her, laying her down again. His eyes were so concerned. He loved her so much; she could see it in his eyes. They were so scared for her. She pushed herself up a little and looked at him directly. He cautiously leaned down and kissed her lips. He then stroked her hair out of her face and gazed into her eyes. "I…"
"What?" she asked.
"I don't know how to help… I see my wife when I look at you and you see a friend / boss when you look at me… It's hard to remember how to interact with you on that level."
"Don't. Interact with me as your wife. Being your wife is what I should be remembering… Have I had nightmares before?" Max asked trying to see if there was a routine established. It was Logan she was dealing with, so routines are common.
"Yes."
"What did we do for them?" she asked.
"It's not the same. You don't know me that way," he said looking away.
"Yes, I do. I just don't remember… Now what would you do to make me feel better?" she asked calmly.
"Well, I would kiss you and hold you…" Max could see he was getting uncomfortable. "…I'd make love to you - gently- to make you feel loved and safe. At least that's what you would say."
"Let's start with the kissing and holding."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Getting back into the routine of my life is what is going to help me remember."
Logan kissed her and drew her to him. He put his arms around her, running his hands up and down her back. Max began to melt inwardly, knowing nothing in the world felt as good as this.
She intensified the kissing just enough to explore Logan's mouth. He allowed her free reign before sliding his tongue against hers and into her mouth. Max sighed lightly as tears trickled down her cheeks before splashing on to his face.
"I'm sorry… I'm not unhappy… It's just…"
"…a sign of great joy," he said completing her sentence. "I remember." Logan wiped the tears off of Max's face. He spoke softly, "The first time we made love, you cried almost the whole time…" He saw the look in her eye; he recognized it. But under the circumstances, he wanted affirmation, "What do you want to happen here?" Max leaned down and kissed him. "Max?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you…" At those words, tears streamed down her face again.
"I know… I… I love you too," she said with a whisper. The gentle kissing continued, as the profession of love sunk in.
They shifted positions, with Max lowered down to the bed again and Logan hovering over her face. His hand touched her skin tenderly. He kissed her lips as if the lightest touch might break her. Logan took such care to express his love with slow intensity that at any moment he could stop and hold her if it became too intimate. Her nightgown was shed over her head, but he never broke his gaze into her eyes. He had marveled at her body on other nights, but tonight was about love and nothing else.
Max had never been made loved to- at least in her memory. Everything about this was different. He didn't ogle her, or move fast. There was no rush to climax even emphasis on coming. He just wanted to be with her in an intimate way. Logan gave her so much just by the way he looked at her and into her eyes while they made love, whispering vows of love the whole time. Max never felt so loved as when he touched her body and kissed her with absolute love. Logan making love to her was the purest expression of love she had ever known.
As she lay in his arms with her head on his bare chest, she felt completely safe and at home. She entwined her fingers with his. He looked at her and kissed her forehead. "That is the best way to calm me down," she commented.
"I know… It's also a great way to knock you out for a couple of hours when I need to get work done," he said with a smirk. She slapped his chest as he laughed. "My beloved…"
"Beloved… You call me that because of that verse in the Bible- I am to my Beloved as my Beloved is to me. I remembered. Hah… I remembered," she said triumphantly. "Wait I went to the doctor today… That's what started all this… I went to the doctor and I am pregnant. I got freaked out because of what happened last time… but it was different. The doctor told me if I made it through the next two weeks I have a much better chance of coming to full term. I'm already ten weeks pregnant, I just was ignoring the signs out of fear."
"Oh, honey…" Logan said with great joy and tears in his eyes. He kissed her forehead again. "Ok, you have to get some sleep. You're doing everything for two now… Hey, yeah know what this means? You got pregnant before we started trying… The kid's already a fighter." He shifted positions so he could talk to his growing child. "I know your ears aren't even developed yet, but we really want you… Give us a chance to be your parents… I think you'll like us."
"Ok stop talking to the baby. It's time to sleep." They laid down as a new little family, and she knew she belonged. /I'm gonna have a baby! /
Max once again found herself struggling for breath, this time she was seizing and wet. /What the hell is going on? Oh God, please don't let me lose the baby! /