Title: Broken Dream
Author: Sobia Helen
Disclaimer: If I owned it, Liz would have been able to afford that trip to Sweden. The song used is "Broken Dream" by
Anggun...the lyrics are in blue.
Category: Max/Isabel
Rating: PG-13
Distribution: Want. Take. Have. Just ask first: AphroditeH@aol.com
Summary: Isabel thinks about her marriage? I suck at summaries...
Dedications: To Jess for inspiring this. And to Jenn for betaing it. To
Jenny for re-beta-ing this and catching the errors that someone *coughJenncough*
else didn't. :) And 'cause they all rock. :)
Note: This is Isabel POV.
We promised that we'd share our lives
And nothing could tear us apart
But I feel that something has gone wrong
"Do you, Isabel Evans, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
Nothing. I felt nothing looking through my wedding albums. 'What is wrong with me?' I wondered. If anyone had told me that my marriage wouldn't last back then, I would have laughed in their face. So what if we weren't a match made in heaven. We had been so completely in love. And nothing else had mattered.
I would have never thought that the two of us would end up together. I had known him almost all my life, but I had never felt that way towards him. Not until after Max had gotten married.
"Isabel, I'm getting married."
"Ha! Very funny. Why did you really call?"
"No, really. I am."
"Oh. Is it...?"
"Yeah."
"Oh."
Max's wedding had been a week after he graduated from college. I had followed his lead a year later.
My gaze went to the wedding album again, and I stared unseeingly at a picture in the corner as the memories of the day flooded me. Nothing. This wasn't working; something had gone wrong.
~*~
As I sat dinning with my husband, I realized that things had been less than perfect even before last week. I had been feeling like something was missing for some time now.
I must try to find the way
To tell you what I want to say
That I feel that something has gone wrong
I had been waiting anxiously for this moment for days now, to tell him how I felt. But now that it was here, I felt at a loss of words. How was I supposed to tell him that while he was away, I slept with the man that he believed to be my brother?
~
Max and his wife had had a huge fight, and he had came here afterwards. He had been upset, but reluctant to tell me about it, and I didn't press him. I had figured that it had to do with the whole alien thing. He still denied the fact that he was an alien, still pretended to be human.
I don't know what came over me in that moment that we were hugging, but I had pulled back from him and pressed my lips against Max's. I might have had seconds thoughts about what I was doing had Max not deepened the kiss. I wasn't surprised at Max's reaction, somehow, that was exactly how I had expected him to act.
When we had first came out of the pods, Max and I had been inseparable. We understood that we were different even then. The knowledge that we were united together against everyone else had forged a unique bond between us. We weren't like normal siblings; we weren't siblings at all.
"Max, can I sleep with you tonight? There are monsters under my bed."
"Izzy, there are no..."
"Please?"
"Okay. But just for tonight."
Max and I had clung to each other and closed everyone else out, trying to hang on to our heritage. Soon, though, we had discovered that we were here to stay. It was then that I had started surpressing my feelings for Max. Max and I both fell into the roles assigned to us. It didn't matter that Max and I were genetically engineered and couldn't possibliy be related. What mattered was that everyone else saw the two of us as siblings, and that's the role we had both adapted to.
"You're my sister, Isabel. And I love you."
Years of repressed desire had came to surface as I kissed Max then. I didn't think of how this would effect others. It was as if time had gone back, and there *were* no others to worry about. Just Max and I. Together. Just like it was meant to be.
After we had made love, Max had told me about his fight with his wife. It was bad, I could tell. But Max had seemed relaxed then as he told me about it, relieved even.
The next morning, she had called, and reality had came crashing down. It was teenage years all over again as once again I was reminded of how Max and I could never really be together.
"Hello?"
"Isabel, is Max there with you?"
"Yeah...he is here."
"Could you...?"
"Just a second."
I left the room while Max talked to her. After the call, Max had seemed different. He didn't mention anything about us or her, and neither did I. We didn't have to; there was a mutual understanding between us. We were both, once again, being forced into earth-based roles.
~
'Cause I don't feel the flame again
I don't want to have to pretend
That I'm still in love with you
I played with my food as he told me about his trip. I wanted to tell him everything, but I didn't want him to hate me for it. As I watched him, I resented him for not realizing that something was wrong. That this...us...was wrong.
See me
Free me
Let me go
"Are you alright?" he finally asked, gesturing to my untouched plate of food.
I nodded. "I'm just not hungry." I put down my fork, and pushed my plate away.
He reached out a hand and touched my arm, "You could go lay down, and I'll clean up?" he offered.
Once again, I nodded. "Yeah. I think I'm gonna." I stood up, knowing that I had missed my chance to tell him for now. Relieved, I made my way up the stairs.
~*~
He leaned over and kissed my forehead as I lay there in our bed, trying to sleep. "I love you," he whispered.
I will not promise you
The things I can't do
And I can't afford to live in love that's through
This was a rare occasion, and I smiled despite myself. I kissed him back, but didn't say anything. Why didn't he notice that I didn't reply? Why didn't he feel like something was missing?
"I love you, Max. I always have."
Forgive me I have sinned
I've made a broken dream
And this has to end, I hope you understand
I felt my stomach clench, and felt sick with guilt. I pulled away gently, and turned off the light. "Good night."
I don't feel the flame again
I don't want to have to pretend
That I'm still in love with you
I watched him sleep for a long time, wondering how to get myself out of this mess. Finally, I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep, assured that tomorrow I will be able to tell him. Yeah, tomorrow was good enough.
"I love you...and that comes first. Always."
"Thank you."
See me
Free Me
Let me go
~End~
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