Author's Note: Part 2 has finally appeared! Mwahahahaha...The RENT characters belong to Jonathan Larson, the Rocky Horror characters belong to Richard O'Brian, "Aida" belongs to Elton John and Tim Rice (and, of course, Disney), the over-zealous RHPS fans belong in a nuthouse (did I just type that? Oops...LOL), "Bat Out of Hell" belongs to Meatloaf, Trey Ellett, Adam Pascal, Manley Pope, and any other cast member I torment belong to themselves (but Cybele thinks Adam belongs to her! J/k j/k!). If you're still readingthis, you're either insane or really really bored. Or both (like me!) Ok -- enough with the author's notes -- back to our story!
Narrator (Benny): Yeah Alison...uh-huh. Look, I'm kinda busy right now. NO! NOT with Mimi! Ok, bye. Sooooo...are we still doing this Rocky Horror shit?
Joanne: YES! And it's YOUR line!
Benny: It is? Aw shit!
Joanne: Come on...
Narrator (Benny): Ok. Ok, I can do this. I would like, ah, if I may,
Over-Zealous Rocky Horror fans: NO YOU MAY NOT!
Benny: Aaaah! Where the hell did THEY come from??
Joanne: I don't know. But you'll have to deal with them.
Narrator (Benny): Damn, now where was I? Oh yeah...to take you on a strange journey.
Fans: How strange was it?
Narrator: (glares) It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors --
Fans: ASSHOLE!
Mark: Hey!
Narrator: and his fiancée Janet Weiss, --
Fans: SLUT!
Angel: You know it!
Narrator: two young, ordinary, healthy kids,
Maureen: (snickers)
Narrator: left Denton that late November evening, to visit a Dr. Everett Scott, ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them. It's true there were dark storm clouds,
Fans: Describe your balls!
Narrator: Huh? My next line is "heavy, black, and pendulous" -- wait -- I get it now -- that one was LAME, guys! -- towards which they were driving. It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of some air, but, uh, they being normal kids and, on a night out... well, they were not going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening, were they?... On a night out... it was a night out they were going to remember... for a very long time.
Janet (Angel): Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passed us. Ooh -- that motorcycle guy is hot! HEY! MISTER MOTORCYCLE GUY! CAN I GET A RIDE? Oh...wait -- I'm supposed to be with Mar--Brad. Damn. Back to the motorcycles - uh -- oh yea! They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with the weather and all.
Brad (Mark): Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type. Not like YOU would know, Miss "Let's-ditch-Mark-and-hitch-a-ride-from-a-transsexual-motorcycle-driver"!
Janet: Oh. ...What's the matter, Brad darling?
Brad: Hmmm.. we must have taken the wrong fork a few miles back.
Janet: Oh, but where did that hot motorcyclist come from?
Brad: Japan! Or Hell! Take your pick
Janet: Oooh! Hell! They're Bats out of Hell!
Brad: Ha ha... well I guess we'll just have to turn back.
Janet: Oh! What was that bang?
Brad: We must have a blowout. DAMMIT! I knew I should have gotten that spare tire fixed. Well, you just stay here keep warm and I'll go for help.
Janet: But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?
Brad: Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles? Maybe they have a telephone I could use.
Fans: Castles don't HAVE telephones, asshole!
Janet: I'm going with you.
Brad: Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting wet.
Fans: Janet's ALREADY wet!
Janet: I'm coming with you! Besides darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman,
Fans: He is!
Janet: and you might never come back again.
Fans: He won't!
Brad: Heh, heh, heh, heh.
(silence)
Joanne: WHERE'S THE MUSIC?? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???
Random band member: (snores, then grunts) Uh -- wha? Oh yea! That light song!
(Music starts)
Janet: In the velvet darkness, Of the blackest night, Burning bright, there's a guiding star. No matter what or who you are.
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Burning in the fireplace...
Brad & Janet: There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.
(music keeps playing, but no one sings)
Joanne: Paul? Where ARE you??
Mimi: He had to go preach his Life Support to some freaky-druggie-chicks...not me!
Joanne: So who the hell is going to be Riff Raff???
Maureen: How about... Collins?
Joanne: But he's Frank!
Maureen: I have a new Frank for you...
(Maureen whistles, and out pops Trey Ellett, in Frank 'N Furter drag)
Joanne: (laughs) This COULD work...
Collins: Hey! Trey -- get back here with my clothes!!
Trey: No way! (giggles)
Mark: Eeew! What WERE you two doing back there??
Trey: Uh -- nothing?
Collins: Trey stole my clothes!
Mimi: He stole your part, too. Now you're Riff Raff.
Collins: Whatever.
Joanne: Good. You're Riff, Trey is Frank. Now SING, Collins!
Riff Raff (Collins): Oh, right. The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming. Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming Into my life. Into my life...
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Burning in the fireplace. There's a light, a light
Brad & Janet: ...in the darkness of everybody's life.
Narrator (Benny): And so, it seemed that fortune --
Adam Pascal: Fortune favors the braaaaaave!
Mimi: Wrong show, hun.
Adam: Oops. Sorry. I guess I'd better let Manley back into this show, huh?
Mimi: Yeah. That would be nice.
Adam: Ok. It's off to have an Egyptian love affair! Bye! (leaves)
Benny: Where the hell was I? Ah, screw it!
Janet: Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened...
Brad: Just a moment Janet, stop being a pain in the ass! They -- they might have a phone.
Riff Raff (Collins): You rang?
Joanne: Wrong show AGAIN!! Jesus, you people are making my blood pressure go sky high!
Maureen: I could help you relieve some of that pressure...(winks)
Joanne: (giggles) Ok Honeybear!
Maureen: C'mon Pookie! (Pulls Joanne off into the darkness)
Mark: Ugh. I guess we have to wait until Joanne comes back to finish this, huh?
Mimi: I guess -- hey! I want Adam back here!
Manley Pope: Hey! What's wrong with ME?
Mimi: Uhhhh...I gotta run... AZT break! You know how it is!
Manley: Hmmmph -- hey, where'd Trey go?
Mark: Oh dear Lord...
Narrator (Benny): Yeah Alison...uh-huh. Look, I'm kinda busy right now. NO! NOT with Mimi! Ok, bye. Sooooo...are we still doing this Rocky Horror shit?
Joanne: YES! And it's YOUR line!
Benny: It is? Aw shit!
Joanne: Come on...
Narrator (Benny): Ok. Ok, I can do this. I would like, ah, if I may,
Over-Zealous Rocky Horror fans: NO YOU MAY NOT!
Benny: Aaaah! Where the hell did THEY come from??
Joanne: I don't know. But you'll have to deal with them.
Narrator (Benny): Damn, now where was I? Oh yeah...to take you on a strange journey.
Fans: How strange was it?
Narrator: (glares) It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors --
Fans: ASSHOLE!
Mark: Hey!
Narrator: and his fiancée Janet Weiss, --
Fans: SLUT!
Angel: You know it!
Narrator: two young, ordinary, healthy kids,
Maureen: (snickers)
Narrator: left Denton that late November evening, to visit a Dr. Everett Scott, ex-tutor, and now friend to both of them. It's true there were dark storm clouds,
Fans: Describe your balls!
Narrator: Huh? My next line is "heavy, black, and pendulous" -- wait -- I get it now -- that one was LAME, guys! -- towards which they were driving. It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of some air, but, uh, they being normal kids and, on a night out... well, they were not going to let a storm spoil the events of their evening, were they?... On a night out... it was a night out they were going to remember... for a very long time.
Janet (Angel): Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passed us. Ooh -- that motorcycle guy is hot! HEY! MISTER MOTORCYCLE GUY! CAN I GET A RIDE? Oh...wait -- I'm supposed to be with Mar--Brad. Damn. Back to the motorcycles - uh -- oh yea! They sure do take their lives in their hands, what with the weather and all.
Brad (Mark): Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type. Not like YOU would know, Miss "Let's-ditch-Mark-and-hitch-a-ride-from-a-transsexual-motorcycle-driver"!
Janet: Oh. ...What's the matter, Brad darling?
Brad: Hmmm.. we must have taken the wrong fork a few miles back.
Janet: Oh, but where did that hot motorcyclist come from?
Brad: Japan! Or Hell! Take your pick
Janet: Oooh! Hell! They're Bats out of Hell!
Brad: Ha ha... well I guess we'll just have to turn back.
Janet: Oh! What was that bang?
Brad: We must have a blowout. DAMMIT! I knew I should have gotten that spare tire fixed. Well, you just stay here keep warm and I'll go for help.
Janet: But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?
Brad: Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles? Maybe they have a telephone I could use.
Fans: Castles don't HAVE telephones, asshole!
Janet: I'm going with you.
Brad: Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting wet.
Fans: Janet's ALREADY wet!
Janet: I'm coming with you! Besides darling, the owner of that phone might be a beautiful woman,
Fans: He is!
Janet: and you might never come back again.
Fans: He won't!
Brad: Heh, heh, heh, heh.
(silence)
Joanne: WHERE'S THE MUSIC?? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???
Random band member: (snores, then grunts) Uh -- wha? Oh yea! That light song!
(Music starts)
Janet: In the velvet darkness, Of the blackest night, Burning bright, there's a guiding star. No matter what or who you are.
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Burning in the fireplace...
Brad & Janet: There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.
(music keeps playing, but no one sings)
Joanne: Paul? Where ARE you??
Mimi: He had to go preach his Life Support to some freaky-druggie-chicks...not me!
Joanne: So who the hell is going to be Riff Raff???
Maureen: How about... Collins?
Joanne: But he's Frank!
Maureen: I have a new Frank for you...
(Maureen whistles, and out pops Trey Ellett, in Frank 'N Furter drag)
Joanne: (laughs) This COULD work...
Collins: Hey! Trey -- get back here with my clothes!!
Trey: No way! (giggles)
Mark: Eeew! What WERE you two doing back there??
Trey: Uh -- nothing?
Collins: Trey stole my clothes!
Mimi: He stole your part, too. Now you're Riff Raff.
Collins: Whatever.
Joanne: Good. You're Riff, Trey is Frank. Now SING, Collins!
Riff Raff (Collins): Oh, right. The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming. Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming Into my life. Into my life...
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet: There's a light...
Chorus: Burning in the fireplace. There's a light, a light
Brad & Janet: ...in the darkness of everybody's life.
Narrator (Benny): And so, it seemed that fortune --
Adam Pascal: Fortune favors the braaaaaave!
Mimi: Wrong show, hun.
Adam: Oops. Sorry. I guess I'd better let Manley back into this show, huh?
Mimi: Yeah. That would be nice.
Adam: Ok. It's off to have an Egyptian love affair! Bye! (leaves)
Benny: Where the hell was I? Ah, screw it!
Janet: Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened...
Brad: Just a moment Janet, stop being a pain in the ass! They -- they might have a phone.
Riff Raff (Collins): You rang?
Joanne: Wrong show AGAIN!! Jesus, you people are making my blood pressure go sky high!
Maureen: I could help you relieve some of that pressure...(winks)
Joanne: (giggles) Ok Honeybear!
Maureen: C'mon Pookie! (Pulls Joanne off into the darkness)
Mark: Ugh. I guess we have to wait until Joanne comes back to finish this, huh?
Mimi: I guess -- hey! I want Adam back here!
Manley Pope: Hey! What's wrong with ME?
Mimi: Uhhhh...I gotta run... AZT break! You know how it is!
Manley: Hmmmph -- hey, where'd Trey go?
Mark: Oh dear Lord...