No More Ms Nice Vampire
By Crazy Nutso
Alice Cooper - No More Mr Nice Guy
Chapter One
Jane Lane watched through the window as a stage crew began the preparations for tonight's show. Much had changed in the year and a half since that fateful halloween when she had been turned into a werewolf. At first, she hadn't even been able to control herself, much less her transformations into wolf and were-wolf form. But now, she was totally in control. She could even change the length and color of her hair in human form. Which came in handy, since she was forced to change identities. When Lawndale had been destroyed by a nuclear missle, she had been assumed dead. And circumstances had led her to allow herself to be declared legally dead.
So now she was Jane Amberson
manager of the latest goth-rock sensation Ungrateful Undead
. This was, of course, just her brother's old band Mystik Spiral
with a new name, and slightly altered sound. Trent's appearance was quite different from the old days, and his stage clothes would keep anyone from guessing his true identity. Jane never would have believed that a band made up of a vampire and three 'golems' would have become so popular. Must be the gimmick. Jane glanced over at Daria.
Daria had also changed a lot since then. Her formerly shoulder-length hair was now only a few inches long, and dyed green. Daria had decided early on that long hair and close hand-to-hand fighting did not mix. Plus it helped distance herself from her old identity. These days she was Diane Banyon
, another of the people who worked behind the scenes for Ungrateful Undead
. She was nervous before every show. Not because she had to perform, but because her original purpose in touring had been to lure her enemies out into the open. But so far nothing had happened...
"Would you please
stop that pacing?" Jane asked Daria, hoping to lighten the foul mood her partner-in crime seemed to be in. "I'm getting wore out just watching you."
"Dammit Jane! Why haven't they tried anything?" Daria said angrily. Jane was happy that she was finally venting a little, and gestured for her to continue. "It's been over a year since we took Upchuck down. We've seen nothing
of the Fashion 'Pires. Sandi and Stacy are still out there somewhere! I can't understand why they haven't struck by now."
"Maybe one of the other hunters
got them?" Jane asked in a hopeful voice.
"No way. I keep in touch with all of them, and I would have heard something. I just don't understand. I mean, subtlety has never been their forté in the past..."
"Well, maybe Sandi has cooked something up, but when she DOES strike, you'll be ready, right?" Jane said smoothly. "In the meantime, we've got a show to put on." Just as she finished this statement, the door is shoved open and a blond lady, followed by a youngish man with a camera barge in.
"Pardon me, I'm Amy Starr, reporter for Sick Sad World
. We've received reports that members of this band and its entourage are actually aliens
who were responsible for the recent bombing of Lawndale. Care to comment?" She gestured to her camera man, who shoves the camera into Jane's face. Jane and Daria glanced at each other. This was trouble. The only person capable of coming up with such a dumb story was Artie, Lawndale's alien-conspiracy theorist and all around nut. He was also someone who had seen Trent, Daria and Jane up close, and might be able to penetrate their disguises.
"I see no reason to comment on something as ridiculous as that
Ms. Starr. And if you do feel inclined to run such a story, you'll be hearing from our legal department."
"And what about you
, Ms. Banyon? Is it true that you're the lead singer's love slave?"
Daria lashed out with her left hand, hitting the camera and sending it flying across the room. She got right in the nosy reporters face. "Ms. Starr, don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry." The reporter beats a hasty retreat. Her camera man stops only long enough to grab the tape from the camera before taking off himself. Daria sighed loudly. "Crap. The famous Morgendorffer temper shows itself again."
"Never mind Daria. It'll just come across as a publicity stunt anyhow. Even if anyone pays any attention to Sick Sad World
. Which I doubt."
"I know, I just hate
it when I lose control like that. Anyhow, it looks like the show is about ready to start. Let's get backstage. I want to be able to watch the crowd."
Soon the show had started. Daria sat backstage and watched the growing 'mosh pit' in front of the stage. Jane was doing an interview for some magazine backstage. Suddenly, Daria sat upright. She had spotted a vampire in the mosh pit. She quickly scanned the rest of the stadium. Nothing. Must just be one. Well, one vampire was not much of a threat. Daria returned her attention to the mosh pit, and realized three things: 1. The Vampire was Stacy. 2. She was right up against the stage, staring at Trent. 3. Trent was staring back, looking mesmerized. Something Aunt Amy had told her came back to her in a flash.
"The only thing you have to worry about with Trent is who bit him. Remember that whatever vampire bit him will have certain mental control over him.
Without another thought, Daria raced from her place behind stage. She dived offstage and tackled Stacy. They rolled for a few minutes, and Stacy put her face right into Daria's. "Another time, hunter
." Then she kissed Daria on the lips. Daria felt Stacy's tongue briefly enter her mouth. Her shock at this momentarily put her off guard. Stacy began to scream for help, and Daria was quickly grabbed. She felt a needle enter her arm, and realized she'd been set up. She lashed out with a leg, kicking someone in the face, but she felt herself weakening. Whatever had been in that syringe was already working on her. She glanced over and saw the guy she'd kicked. She recognized him. It was the blond, skateboard guy from Lawndale High. She couldn't think of his name. His nose was bleeding, and she saw Stacy approach him, and begin to lick the blood from his nose. She was beginning to realize that becoming a vampire had driven Stacy over the edge.
Daria felt herself being handcuffed and led out of the concert hall. She was being frisked by a female police officer, who found a strange gizmo in her jacket. Daria was surprised to see it too, as it wasn't hers. Stacy must have planted it on her. Suddenly, she noticed Stacy standing far behind the cop in the entrance to the hall. She was holding a similar looking gizmo. When she saw that Daria was looking at her, she smiled, then pressed a button on the gizmo. She saw the gizmo in the cops hand light up and then beep. Then there was a huge explosion, and the concert hall disappeared in flames. Stacy blew her a kiss, then turned into a bat and flew away. The world began to swirl around, and Daria passed out.
Rorschach - Watchmen by
Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons
Chapter Two
Daria come to slowly. She found herself in a typical jail cell, lying on a cot. Her Aunt Amy's ghost hovered nearby. "About time you came to. How do you feel?"
"Dizzy, nauseous and weak. I thought a mamano
hunter was immune to poisons?"
"Your immune system is souped up. You should be able to lick any poison or drug almost instantly. Whatever they gave you must have been pretty powerful. Your system should lick it in 24 hours or so. Or else...
"Or else what
?"
"Or else you'll die." Their conversation is suddenly interrupted by a guard opening the door.
"OK, nutso. Let's go. Time for your session with the head doc." Daria is led down a dark hallway. She sees that the door says "Dr. Shchratchnsniff, Psychologist". She was led into a chair. Dr. Shchratchnsniff was a severe looking woman in her thirties. Two burly guards sat nearby, in case Daria tried anything. "So, " the psychologist glanced at a paper in front of her, "Diane. How are you today?"
"In prison. Yourself?"
This threw the woman off, as Daria had intended. "Umm... I'm doing just fine. But let's discuss why
you are here. Why did you attack that girl, and why did you blow up the the concert hall.
"I attacked the girl because she's a vampire, and I'm a vampire hunter. I wanted to stop her from doing something incredibly evil like blowing up the concert hall, which she did anyhow."
The psychologist looks momentarily alarmed, then recovers. "OK, uh... perhaps you should come back later
after you've had time to...rest." Daria is then led back out. She eventually ends up in the prison cafeteria. Suddenly, a familiar looking person got into line behind her. It was Brooke.
"So Daria, I guess without your mamano hunter
abilities, you're not so tough." Brooke whispers, as she pulls a screwdriver out of her pocket. "Once you're dead, Stacy has promised to make me immortal."
"I don't need special powers to deal with you." Daria whispered back. Whirling around, she struck a sharp blow to Brooke's nose. Brooke drops to the floor. "AH! My nose! WHy does it always
have to be my nose!" Brooke and Daria were hustled out. Brooke was taken to the prison infirmary, while Daria was put into solitary. She was sitting on a cot, when a fat guard approached. She recognizes him as the fat, blond guy who was always had headphones on... Damn, what was
his name again. He pulls out his gun and aims it at Daria.
"Once you're dead..." he began.
"I know, I know, Stacy will make you immortal. I've heard it. But you're too late..." Daria reached into a small magic portal she had opened earlier, and pulled out a small, round item. She tossed it at the bars, and it began to emit gas. The guard quickly took his gun and put it up to his head. "I have failed my mistress!" He declared, then pulls the trigger. Daria grabbed the bars and easily broke them open. She put a belt with more of the gas grenades on it around her waist. She walks calmly through the jail, tossing grenades as needed. Soon she reaches the prison infirmary, and enters. To her dismay, everyone here had been brutally slaughtered. She quickly finds Brooke. Dead. There is a note pinned to the side of the bed. It has been ' sealed with a kiss' by Stacy. Daria doubted that she was wearing red lipstick, either. Daria opened the envelope and pulled out the note inside.
| Daria, Sorry I couldn't see you today, but I've been Love and Kisses, Stacy Rowe |
"Signed in blood." Daria said to herself. "Great. She's got my friends, she knows where my parents are, and she probably has a legion of helpers. What have I got?"
"You've got me!" Her Aunt Amy was quick to chime in.
"Swell." Daria let out a deep sign. "I guess it's gonna be a busy couple of days..." And with that, Daria opens a portal and disappeared.
Lord Acton - Historical Essays and Studies, Appendix
Chapter Three
Jane Lane awoke to an agonizing burning sensation in her back. She realized that she was hanging by her arms above a pit of acid. Another searing pain caused her to turn around. There she saw Stacy Rowe, tossing hot coals at her.
"Good, you're awake. It's so boring
to torture people who are asleep."
Jane was astonished by Stacy's behavior. "It's always the quiet ones." she told herself. Aloud she said "Mind telling me why your bothering to keep me alive? Not that I mind, you understand."
"Ah, Jane. I've always admired
you and Daria. You've always managed to do whatever you want. Well now I'm doing what I want. For the time being, you'll be insurance against our hunter
friend. But I think, in the future, you'll be working for me."
"I'll never
work for you."
"You think not? But people do
change, don't they? Let me give you an example." Stacy gestured toward what appears to be a large dog house, set in the opposite wall.
"Sandi! Here Sandi! Come here, girl!" As Jane watched, Sandi Griffin emerged from the dog house. She crawled on all fours, and kept her face facing the floor. She slowly approached Stacy, stoping at her feet.
"Good girl, Sandi! Now clean my boots." Sandi made a whimpering sound.
"I said, clean my boots! NOW!
" Sandi began to lick the dirt from Stacy's boots. Soon she had finished.
"Very good Sandi. Now your humiliation is complete...and I have no more use for you." Stacy grabbed a handful of Sandi's hair, and pulled her to eye level. She then pulled a wooden stake out and rammed it into Sandi's chest. Sandi screamed in pain, then turned to dust. Stacy carefully collected some of the dust into a vial, then sealed the vial.
"I'll put you in my bedroom, right next to your mothers. Oh, but where are my manners! I'm entertaining! I'll just have my maid do it. QUINN!"
Quinn Morgendorffer came running up. She was wearing a french maid outfit. Her hair had been dyed to match Stacy's hair color, and was held in twin pigtails, as Stacy used to wear. Stacy hands her the vial.
"I've finished with Sandi, for now. Place her over the mantel in my bedroom, next to her mother. Mind you, don't awaken Trent. He had a busy night last night." Stacy smirked at Jane's reaction to her last statement.
"Yes Ma'am!" Quinn quickly answered. She gave a curtsey, and dashed off.
"So, Jane what do you think of my humble little abode?"
"Can't say that I've seen much of it. Where are we?"
"In some caves. That's all you need to know. Your brother's former band mates are currently hard at work digging out more space. Soon every vampire on earth will have a safe haven. As long as they stay on my good side." Stacy glanced at her watch. "I'm afraid I'll have to cut short our little visit. I've got a meeting with our mutual friend, Daria."
"Do you really think she'll do anything you
ask?"
"If she values your life, she will. If not, then there's always her parents..." Stacy flips open a cellular phone, and dials. "Tiffany?"
"Yes?"
"Have you found the Morgendorffers?"
"Yes. They're in a hotel. We have the building completely surrounded. Do you want us to move in?"
"No. Stay put until you hear from me. Bye." Stacy smiled triumphantly. "All the cards are in place. Oh, and you need not bother trying to break that rope. It was woven from wolvesbane. Oh, and your guards will be armed with AK-47s that fire silver bullets. Tah!" Stacy turned into a bat, and flew away. Jane just hung there, wondering how she was going to get out of this one...
Matthew - The Bible: Matthew Chapter 4 verses 8 & 9
Chapter Four
Daria appeared in an alley behind the Bullseye Hotel. She is wearing a redheaded wig, and a leather trenchcoat. She enters the hotel. It is a sleazy dive, and the waiting room is empty. Daria climbs the stairs to the 6th floor. She finds room 666 and knocks. "It's open." Stacy's voice drifts through the door. Daria takes a deep breath, and enters.
"Daria, how delightful
that you could make it." Stacy put a cellular phone she was holding away. "I was so
afraid I'd have to order my people to massacre your parents. However, your attire makes me suspicious. You don't mind if my familiar here searches you? Just to make sure you aren't here to harm me?"
"Suit yourself." Daria responded. Daria noted that Stacy's familiar was Bret Strand, the guy who had stood Stacy up before that god-awful fair. "Did you castrate him?" Daria asked, and was pleased to see him wince.
"Of course
not, Daria! That would take all the fun out of him." Bret continued to search Daria's person, lingering on one spot a little too long. Daria lashed out, catching him in his adam's apple. He was dead before he smashed into the far wall. Daria braced herself for an attack from Stacy, but Stacy just wondered over to the body. "Bret always did
have loose hands. Oh well, no point wasting food." With that, she ripped Bret's head off and began to guzzle his blood. When she was finished, her dress was drenched in blood.
"That's what's wrong with these designer dresses, they get ruined so easily." With that, she ripped the dress off, revealing a sports bra and 'Hello Kitty' shorts. She then slid into a pair of shorts. "Now then, Daria you're probably wondering why I asked you here..."
"To reveal you're evil plan for world domination, right before you have me killed in some elaborate trap?"
"That's what I've always liked about you, Daria. Your sense of humor. But let's face it. The world is a pretty messed up place. Even overlooking all the atrocities committed by some of my overzealous
vampire brethren, let's face it. The human race is working hard to wipe themselves out. War, pollution, oppression, crime and all of it. It's out of control.
"But you and your vampire pals will come save us poor stupid humans from ourselves, right?"
"Really Daria what do we
care if you wipe each other out? All I want to do is establish a home for vampires. A series of caves where vampires can live away from humans. We'll bring a few human volunteers down, who can donate blood for us, and in exchange, they'll live like kings. This is were you
come in, Daria. You can be my mortal agent. You can take care of any unruly vampire who causes trouble, and keep your more overzealous hunter friends from coming after me."
"And what do I get for being your stooge?"
"Well, you'll live a life of luxury. Anything you want really. Then there's the matter of Trent. As you are no doubt aware, as the person who bit him, I have a hold on him. This hold can be transferred... to you. I tried him out, and I must say that he really is
quite excellent. You're sure to enjoy him, I have no doubt. Then there's the matter of Jane...and your parents. Something very bad might happen to them if you don't go along with this."
"Let me see if I've got this right. Basically you want me to kill off any vampires that might be a threat to you, and kill off any of the other hunters that threaten you. Basically I'd be your bodyguard and/or killer for hire. And for these services, you promise not to harm any of my friends & family, and give me a mindless sex-slave. Have I left anything out?"
"You can have Quinn as your maid. I've grown bored with her. But if you're not interested in Trent, I'll keep him."
"As tempting as that offer is, I'd have to say no. Plus I don't buy the whole 'we'll just take blood donations from people' thing. You seem to be more bloodthirsty then most vampires i've encountered, so I imagine you're planning on breeding humans and rasing them as we raise cows. Correct?
"Most likely. But are you forgetting that I can kill your parents with a single word into this phone?" As Stacy finished her threat, there is a beeping sound from inside Daria's coat. Daria reaches in and pulls out a beeper and shuts it off. "A beeper. How very '90s'. Too bad that decade ended. What does it mean?"
"It means
" Daria began, as she reached into her coat and pulled out a sharpened wooden stake. "That my parents are safe. Now shall we do this the easy way or the hard way?"
"If you'd care to ask Trent, you'll find that I love
to do things the hard
way!" With that, Stacy opened up a mystic portal, and leaped through it. Daria didn't hesitate, but quickly leaped after her.
John Lennon - With a Little Help from My Friends
Chapter Five
Fifteen minutes earlier.
Freddy had only been a vampire for a few days, and he was nervous. His job was to patrol throughout the hotel. He had just arrived on the roof, but the guy who was supposed to be there wasn't. He called on the phone they'd given him. "Hello? Anyone? This is Freddy. There's no one on the roof. We might have trouble here..."
A familiar voice cut him off. It was Tiffany, his boss on this operation. "Freddy. I had to move the guy from the roof. Stay there until I tell you to move, and don't
anyone use the phones, you're supposed
to be maintaining radio silence." Freddy felt better. At least nothing was wrong. Unfortunately for Freddy, something was
wrong. Down in the room they'd commandeered for the command room, Andrea Hecuba put down the phone, and added a vial, labeled 'Tiffany' to a collection of them in a pouch. She whistled to herself as she made her way to the roof. Freddy proved no trouble at all for her. She dialed the number Daria had given her. Sometimes, helping friends was fun!
Meanwhile, in the vampire's lair, Jane was still hanging by her arms. She noticed that most of the vampires had left. Her enhanced hearing could only place the one guarding her. Which meant that now was the time. Suddenly she realized who it was. Bobby Bighead, from that party at Brittanys. This might not be so hard. "Hey, Bob!"
He glanced up at her, confirming his identity. "C'mon, Bob don't you remember me? From that party at Brittanys? I certainly
remember you. I've always regretted
not spending more time with you."
"You're just trying to trick me. Well it won't work." He said, but Jane could see that she was getting him. Not knowing how much time she had, she hurried on.
"Oh, come on
Bob! We both know when Stacy gets back, I'm going to be either tortured or killed right away. Can't a girl have a bit of fun before she dies? Like a last meal or something." She could see he was tempted, but still afraid of her escaping. "C'mon. You don't even have to untie me. What possible harm can I do you, trussed up like this?" That did it. Bobby Bighead flipped a switch that brought her over the ground, then lowered her. He approached her slowly with his gun trained on her.
"Come on Bobby. Show me how you suck face." As soon as he was in range, she morphed into wolf form and ripped out his throat with her fangs. Then she began to spit and gag. "GAH! That was as gross as I expected. Good thing Daria made me learn how to slip out of ropes." She soon had slipped out of her bonds, and began to make her way stealthily through the caves.
Anton Chekhov - Notebooks
Chapter Six
Jane was slowly working her way toward Stacy's bedroom. She was surprised that most of the vampires seemed to be in a meeting somewhere. She altered her appearance slightly, so she looked more like Stacy. Soon she reached the door. Her enhanced sense of smell detected Trent inside. She entered. Suddenly someone jumped out and tried to drive a wooden stake into her chest. She wrenched the stake away from her assailant, and morphed into full wolf form. She realized her foe was Quinn. She changed back into half wolf form, and hefted the wooden stake menacingly.
"Jane?" Quinn seemed near tears. "Oh no! I thought I finally had a chance to get rid of Stacy once and for all. DAMN!"
"Alright Quinn, tell me what you know" Jane said menacingly "Or else." She held the wooden stake to make her point.
"Well, it turns out that Stacy was bitten by Linda, instead of Sandi. Linda sent Stacy to set up these caves and spirit a bunch of Lanwdale citizens here. She was chosen by Linda because of her follower nature. But something happened to her here. She changed. Went insane, whatever. When she returned, she was very quiet. I'll never forget what she did to me after she resurrected Tiffany and me. She tortured me in front of Tiffany, and told her that's what would happen to her if she disobeyed. Tiffany was a natural follower anyhow. She stopped torturing me, except to force me to change my looks. She treats me like dirt."
"Where are the rest of Mystik Spiral
?"
"They're digging the new tunnels." Quinn gestured to a map on the wall. "Here. That's where all the other slaves are kept."
"All right Quinn. I may regret this later, but get out of here."
"Huh?"
"Get out of these caves. Go to the surface world, and stay
out of trouble. If I know your sister, she's going to kill every vampire in these caves. Go back to the surface and stay out of trouble
! Or someday you'll be hunted yourself."
"Thank you Jane." Quinn turned into a bat, and flew away.
Jane glanced at her brother, who was still asleep. She decided he'd be safer where he was. She reached over the fireplace and took the vials containing Linda and Sandi. She placed them in her pouch, hefted the wooden stake, and made her way toward the toward the area where Quinn had told her the slaves where.
"She soon saw who was in charge of the slaves. It was Axl, from the tattoo parlor. He had a small remote in his hand. As Jane watched, he pressed a button and Jane saw one of the slaves cringe in pain. "Work faster, ye buggers!" He yelled.
Jane pulled out her wooden stake and ran at Axl. "Hi Axl!" she yelled as she plunged the stake into him "bye Axl!" she said as he turned into dust. She picked up the remote, and punched in a code Daria had taught her. Immediatly, all the collars popped off. Jane looked at them. She desperately wanted to go look for Daria. She had a feeling her friend was in terrible danger. But Daria had made one thing perfectly clear early on.
"Jane, I know we're called mamano hunters but our first responsibility is to protect innocent people. If there are bystanders, get them clear. That is our first priority."
"Dammit." Jane thought to herself. "I've got to get these people clear." She spotted Mr. DeMartino. "Mr. DeMartino, lets get these people out of here!" With his help, along with the assistance of Ms. Defoe and Mystik Spiral
Jane quickly had everyone lined up and ruining toward the exit. As they neared the entrance to the tunnel to the surface, Jane took the lead. "Everyone stay alert! There may be guards."
"Not anymore there isn't. Nice to see you again, Jane." Mack said, as he and Jodie led them the rest of the way to the surface. As they arrived, Jane noticed the sun was just beginning to come up. Jane suddenly had a plan.
Muhammad Ali
Chapter Seven
Daria emerged from the portal, reaching for Stacy. Stacy managed to elude her grasp, and run away. Daria checked her surroundings. She was in some kind of auditorium. The audience was entirely made up of vampires. Probably over 200 of them. "Great" Daria thought to herself. Then she saw Stacy. She was now wearing leather body armor, and carrying a large glowing sword.
"Good thing I brought my own sword, too." Daria thought as she cast aside her trenchcoat. She had managed to bring through quite a few weapons through a small mystic portal while Stacy had been occupied with Brent Strand, but if she used any of them, the audience would be all over her. She would have to play along, stall until her friends arrived. And if they didn't... she'd have to improvise.
"So, I guess this is your plan 'B', eh Stacy?"
"You know what they say, if you can't get them to join you, beat them." Stacy replied. From the way she was holding the sword, Daria guessed that she'd had some training with that weapon. She raised her sword and rushed at Daria. The two adversaries locked swords, then got down to some serious fencing. Daria could see they were evenly matched in strength and speed. Skill wise, Stacy might have a slight advantage. However, the big advantage Stacy had was that Daria dared not strike her down, because she'd be overrun by the rest of the vampires. She was also beginning to tire. Suddenly, Stacy made a quick slice across Daria's shoulder, drawing blood. A cheer came from the vampire crowd.
"First blood is mine, Daria. Care to surrender? I'm sure I can work you into my organization somewhere
. All you need to do is bow down and kiss my feet."
"Well, you can kiss my..."
"Daria! I never knew your tastes ran that way! That was
some kiss you gave me at the concert."
"Perhaps my choice of colorful metaphors was unwise. What I meant to say was, 'bite me!'."
"Gee, I'd like
to Daria, but we both know that your blood is poisonous to vampires. Now let's finish this!" With that, she rushed at Daria once again. This time she was definitely out for blood. Daria gave up on trying to stall, and concentrated on defending herself. Suddenly, a large wolf ran through the hall entrance and rushed toward the two combatants. Jane-wolf leaped at Stacy, knocking her away from Daria.
"'Bout time you showed up." Daria remarked. "Where's the rest of the calvary?"
"Wait for it. This is my best idea yet!"
"It had better be, 'cause the crowd don't look too happy." The entire vampire audience was in fact out of its collective seats and closing in fast on Daria and Jane. Stacy was in the lead. Jane flipped open a phone.
"In the immortal words of George Harrison, here comes the sun! Now Mack!" Suddenly, there was a large explosion, and the ceiling disintegrated. Soon the sun was shining into the auditorium. Many of the vampires began to explode in the sunlight. Stacy picked up one of the other vampires, and used him as a vampire. Daria grabbed a wooden stake, and took off after her.
Elizabeth E. Bowen
Chapter Eight
Daria pursued Stacy through the curving tunnels. Stacy raced into her bedroom. Daria was in hot pursuit. Stacy jumped on the bed and shook Trent. "Wake up, you fool!" Trent snapped awake. "Destroy
her Trent!" Trent approached Daria slowly. Stacy creeps up behind Trent. "You have a choice Daria. You can put that stake through Trent's heart, but then I'll be on you. You could put the stake through my heart, but Trent will kill you. Or you could put the stake through both of us, but then our ashes would be mixed, and you couldn't bring Trent back without bringing me back too. So what's it gonna be, Daria?"
Daria grappled with Trent. Stacy came up behind her and grabbed Daria around the neck. "End of the line, hunter! GAH!"
Suddenly Trent blinked, and coughed. "Hey Daria. What's going on? Last thing I remember I was at the show, and some weird chick was starin' at me?" Daria ignored the question. She was looking at the person who had driven a stake through Stacy. It was Quinn.
"I didn't do it for you
Daria. I did it for revenge. Keep this in a safe place." Quinn had been holding a vial that she'd scooped some of Stacy's ashes. She tossed it to Daria. Daria caught it, and during the second her eyes were on the vial, Quinn had dissapeared. Daria considered persuit, but Jodie came in.
"We've wired the place, and we're about to blow the caves."
Daria thought for a minute. Quinn could take care of herself. "Alright, let's get out of here." They all rushed out of the caves, and there was a great explosion as the caves collapsed.
Daria walked up to Jane. "So what all happened?"
"Well, it seems that Stacy spirited a bunch of the Lawndale citizens to these caves for use as slave labor or food or something. It was Linda's idea, appearantly she was planning on double crossing Ms. Li. Anyhow, after Stacy was resurected by Upchuck, she came out here. We managed to get them all out, although Ms. Barch seems to have wondered off. According to Mr. DeMartino, she had to be kept drugged up to get her to obey them, even with the collars. He says she's went around the bend."
"This is news? Anyhow, let's get back to the lair."
The members of Mystik Spiral
approached as Daria opened a portal. Danny Morreno was with them. "Hey Daria. Jesse says I could come with you guys."
"Great, just what I needed. A kid sidekick. Welcome aboard. They all stepped through the portal and dissapeared.
The End
Author's Notes
Well, this was a bit more of a dark comedy then the rest of the series. I plan to do many more weird things with this series in the future, so be forewarned. Hope you enjoyed it, if not, well don't feel bad. And the Daria in prison scene was largely stolen from Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons classic comic story 'Watchmen' if you haven't read it, you don't know what you're missing! Special feedback thank-you's to Canadibrit and Smoochy Jane. THANKS GUYS! (or gals, but if I refer to CB as a 'gal' she'll KILL me..)