Lullaby for Ken
By Chyna
Rose (chynarose8@hotmail.com)
Disclaimer: I don't own
Digimon, I don't own 'Lullaby for Cain', I don't own The Talented Mr.
Ripley. This is my second digific.
***@-----***
"From
the silence. From the night. Comes a
distant lullaby."
I know that they still hate
me.
Why wouldn't they?
After all I have done,
How can they forgive me.
"Hey Ken!"
"Hello Davis."
"The rest of us were going to just hang out for a while;
see the this new movie that just came out. It's supposed to be real good- if I can believe my sister, that is. Want to come."
"I see no reason not to."
This is a hoax;
A lie.
They can't want me there.
There must be a catch.
After all I put them
through,
How is it that they seem to
have forgiven me?
"Looks like everybody's just about here."
"Hey guys!"
"Hey Tai. Hey
Kari."
"Sorry if we're a bit late. Tai heard I was going to the movies and insisted on coming
along."
"And since Tai's coming, My brother decided to
come too."
"Hey TK, Matt."
"So what's this I hear about the movie?"
"Jun said it was spectacular; a murder mystery in
fact. God! You should've seen her.
She'd start gushing about it one moment then clap her hands over her mouth the
next- said she didn't want to spoil it for me."
"The only other time I've ever heard of her acting like
that, was when she got tickets to Matt's last concert. The movie must be good."
"Then he stole your brother's life. Came home murdered piece of mine."
I don't know what it is
about this movie.
It bothers me.
I don't hate it-
It's too good for me to.
How can I explain why I…
Wait.
I see it now.
It bothers me because I see
myself in it.
He could be me.
He's who I was,
But am I still him?
This movie saddens me.
He's not the villain.
I'm not a villain.
Can't they see that?
Could anyone ever forgive
him for what he did?
What I did?
"Left your nightmares on the pillow. Sleep now."
It all goes back to my
brother.
I loved him.
He was everything I wanted
to be.
Everything I hated.
I hated him.
I hated him, because I
couldn't be with him;
Couldn't be him.
As much as I loved him,
As much as I hated him,
I killed him.
I followed him that day.
He didn't want me around-
Not then, not ever.
I tried so hard to be
quiet,
Make sure he didn't notice
me.
I just had to touch
him.
He turned to me in anger;
Stepped into the street.
Never saw the end coming.
He died hating me.
I would give anything for
him to tell me he forgives me.
"Cast
into the dark. Branded with the mark. Of shame, of Cain."
It changes you,
Killing someone you love.
I know I wasn't the one who
struck him down.
But I might've well been.
After that came the
numbness.
I cared for no one-
No one cared about me.
My parents said they still
loved me,
But I knew they knew.
I was responsible for my
brothers death.
I could see it in their
eyes.
I doubted they ever forgave
me.
"Wow. That was a
cool movie."
"I can't believe he got away with three murders."
"It wasn't his fault."
"What do you mean 'it wasn't his fault'?! He killed three people in cold
blood."
"I'm not saying that he didn't. All I'm saying is that circumstances forced him to do so."
"How? Just
because he was poor, and sent to bring some rich guy back doesn't mean he
could blame the deaths on his circumstances!"
"His circumstances include his mind set. He was mad! He was scared! And I'm pretty
sure he was psychotic."
"What do you think Ken?"
"…"
What do I think?
What do I think?
Do they want to know what I
think?
Truly?
How would they react if I
told them I felt sorry for him.
That he was a tortured soul,
Wanting only what he could
never have;
Become what he could never
hope to be.
That I looked into his eyes
and saw myself.
If they ever knew that,
That I identify with a
killer.
Would they be able to ever
forgive me?
"From the garden in God's light. To the wilderness of night. Sleep now."
It is hard for me to believe
them.
I was their enemy.
I vowed to destroy them.
I never asked for their
friendship;
Never expected it.
I am Ken.
I am Tom,
I am Richard,
I am the Kaiser.
I am Kain.
How could they show me
kindness when all I gave them contempt.
How dare they forgive me so
easily!
When I cannot even forgive
myself.
"Sleep now."
"Ken?"
***@-----***
Author's Note: Again with
the ambiguity. Still a little fuzzy
about the Tai/Matt issue, but I will address it in the future- as soon as I
figure out where I stand on it. I tried
my best not to give away the movie, The Talented Mr. Ripley. It's a great movie (imho) and I do suggest
you see it. If you're not squeamish
or homophobic. I hoped I still had the people in character,
although I know less about the second set of digidestined than I do about the
first- and that's not a lot to begin with. Apparently this will be turned into a mini series. I didn't plan for that to happen, it's just
how things are turning out. Truth is I
never intended to write any Digimon fanfic. My muse has apparently decided differently. Feel free to send feedback.