Psychic Psalm #1

By Chyna Rose

Pain

I live with the pain all the time

I can't escape the pain

I hate the pain

I look to end the pain

Darkness

Why won't it come off

The blood

It stains my hands

How can I get it off

How can I get clean

I want to be clean again

Another day

Another promise

Another day

Another class

Another day

Another favor

Pain

It leaves me tired all the time

It fills my soul

It is my constant companion

It makes me wish for release

Darkness

God what have I done

The blood

It keeps growing

No matter what I do

It keeps coming

I can't get clean

Another day

Another errand

Another loaf of bread

Another letter mailed

Another suit picked up

Another trip out of my way

Pain

Can't sleep

Can't eat

Can't smile

Can't forget

Darkness

The blood

Dear God

The blood

It covers me

It won't go away

It will never go away

Another dollar lent

Another light bulb changed

Another item fetched

Another tab paid

Another damn day

Another opportunity to change wasted

The knife calls to me

Can blood wash away blood

An ultimate act that no-one would expect

Freedom from pain

Freedom from guilt

Freedom from tedium

But do I take that step

Put more blood on my hands

Break from the reliable routine I know so well

It's hard to go on

The past is a stain that will not go away

Yet I will continue on to do what others want me to do