Dan Rather: Well, after disastrous results in my previous Hyrule interviews, I hope that I will escape this one unscathed. By next week, I'll be in Clock Town again, for some more interviews there. Welcome this week's guest: Princess Zelda.
Zelda: Hey Dan!
Dan: Welcome Princess, how are you doing?
Zelda: Just fine Dan, do you have some questions for me?
Dan: Yes I do, here's the first question: Describe how you met Link.
Zelda: Well, Ganondorf was up to his shennanigans, and I was spying on him. I had a dream you see, of a dark man, and of a cheese vendor coming to me.
Dan: A cheese vendor?
Zelda: Yes I was dissappointed when Link showed up, but I pretended to have dreamed that he would come.
Dan: I s-
Zelda: The loser, I have been disgraced by him, why wasn't I invited to Clock Town, everyone else was!
Dan: Are you upset?
Zelda: Of course I am you simpleton!! My agent and I practically lived by the phone for three months waiting for a call inviting me to participate in the game!
Dan: And no call came?
Zelda: Oh it came alright, but it was inviting my poodle,Fifi, to be one of the dogs at the Doggie Race Track.
Dan: And what did you say?
Zelda: I said no, but my little princess leaped into the air and BIT me, and barked a yes into the phone. My dog was in the game, but not me!
Dan: I see.
Zelda: The whole dang series is named after me, and I wasn't even invited.
Dan: Hmmm.... Welcome tonight's other guest, Fifi.
Zelda: Oh be careful Dan, she doesn't like strangers very much.
Fifi: (Barks at Dan)
Dan: Umm...... (Backs slowly away)
Fifi: (Leaps at Dan, begins ripping flesh from Dan's throat)
Zelda: Oh look, she loves you, she instantly kills the ones she doesn't like.
Dan: HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Zelda: Oh come here, my little darling. No not you Dan, Fifi.
Fifi: (Trots over to Zelda, cuddles with her, licks her nose)
Dan: Tu n ext ee olks. (collapses)