Warnings: None really. Each chapter is startling short and is merely
a very small glimpse into the lives of the GW ppl. Every chapter signifies
a new person and all of these are serious and at times even a tad angsty.
When I wrote these I was trying to visually a realistic view of what they
could be doing. I'm posting this because it's been sitting in my hard drive
for awhile now and I thought 'what the hell' so, hope ya enjoy and I'd
greatly appreciate reviews ^_^
Afterwards
Chapter Four
Lost, Lonely
I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
But I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
"Honestly Ok" Sung by Dido. Written by: D. Armstrong, M. Benbrook &
R. Armstrong
Dorothy Catalonia raised an eyebrow as she watched Relena walk from the
Parliament building. The reporters surrounded the Vice Foreign Minister,
yelling their questions till her car drove away. The vultures quickly turned
onto the Representatives filling out and she propped her chin up and leaned
against the windowsill. Soon, she'd have to join those parading puffed
up peacocks, but for awhile now she just wanted to sit up here and ignore
the bustling outside.
Duchess Catalonia, heiress of both the Dermail and Catalonia estates, and
Representative of the reformed Romefeller Foundation, licked her lips and
closed her eyes. How many years had it been since all her beliefs had shattered
before her very eyes? She leaned back and ran her hands down her silk blouse
and turned toward the long meeting room and picked up one of the glasses
of water that rested beside her stack of files, copies of the many bills
that were to be voted on at the next meeting.
Eight years she'd accepted this pacifist view of life. Eight years she'd
thought about her life and the woman she'd become. She never knew whether
she should thank Quatre Winner and his friend… Yet, it didn't truly matter
since she could never face them. She saw Quatre only at these meetings
and he always spoke so politely… Years ago he'd congratulated her on her
new life and she'd merely stared at him without answering.
The truth was it wasn't the wound she'd given him that troubled her, but
the fact that they had both seen her lose her control so badly. Their words
had destroyed everything she'd clung to… They had made her remember her
father and his brave death.
God, he'd died so she wouldn't have to fight and this was what she'd done?
The guilt still ate at her. But she was trying… Trying to start a new life.
Trying to right the wrongs she'd committed.
It was hard to start a new life when she didn't really understand herself.
She was just so lonely sometimes… No one really understood… They had won
the war and all the ones that might've been able to help her through this
were dead… Mister Treize, her grandfather, her father… Even Une and Mister
Millardo had changed their views… No one understood. Not even she truly
understood.
She was an expert politician, yet working for Relena's ideals somehow seemed
to ring falsely. She wanted to go back to being her sure, confident, war-loving
self. The woman that knew she was right and that wars were beautiful. Then
she'd known who she was, had known what she needed to do… Now…
She'd felt safe in that life. Safe in the fact she knew who she was.
Now… Now she was Dorothy Catalonia, former warmonger… A woman still known
to be feared and respected by others, yet… She didn't respect herself anymore.
Couldn't people see that? She'd stopped believing in her ideals.
No one could see that she was slowly dying under this pacifist life.
No one could help her…
No one, but herself.
Dorothy Catalonia picked up her files and exited the building, an arrogant
smile on her lips as the cameras flashed.