Growing Up 6 Since Lucky's departure, Elizabeth took some time to herself to sort out the emotional roller coaster she couldn't seem to stop. She walked to the park, thinking about Lucky. How they had found each other. What they meant to each other. She had never loved anyone like she loved Lucky. But since the kidnapping, Lucky just wasn't Lucky anymore. She could understand that he wouldn't be the same, but it was still hard to admit, even to herself.

Sitting down on a bench, she thought about the year Lucky was gone. Sadness settled on her like a blanket as she relived the night of the fire, collapsing in Sonny's arms when Taggert brought her the subway token Lucky wore around his neck. She couldn't remember much after that. For the next couple of weeks, she had gone through the motions, not feeling anything. Wanting to lose herself in something other than grief, she went to Jake's. But when she tried to forget, it all came crashing back. Thank God Jason had been there to save her from herself. Who knows what might've happened if he hadn't shown up.

She sighed at the thought of Jason, her sounding board. Just what had happened between them? They were friends, of course. But nobody understood. Then again, nobody except Sonny and Bobbie knew that Jason had been shot. Nikolas just assumed the worst. Of course she hadn't tried to explain the situation to him, but so what? What business was it of his if Jason stayed in her studio? So what if he thought they were sleeping together?! She wasn't about to let anyone tell her what to do, especially after Lucky's death. She was going to live her life her way. And that was that

But then Jason left. And Nikolas came to her with proof that Lucky might still be alive. She promised she wouldn't let herself believe, but God help her, she believed.

But he wasn't the same. Telling her she belong with Nikolas. Didn't he know how much that hurt her? He began spending more time with Emily. She knew they were best friends, but there was something about they was their conversation stopped whenever she appeared. When Lucky finally told her about the brainwashing, it all made sense. But even after seeing Dr. Collins about deprogramming him, Lucky wasn't the same.

And she wasn't the same either. Her whole life had been turned upside down. And nothing could ever change that. She had grown, emotionally, during the year that Lucky was gone. And continued to grow as he pushed her away. They had once thought they would be together forever. Now she wasn't sure, of anything, and especially of Lucky.

This Lucky was not the Lucky she fell in love with. But she knew that she would never get that Lucky back, ever. The question was, did she, could she, love this Lucky just as much?

That question echoed throughout her mind as she returned to Kelly's and crawled into bed.