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She opened the door, half expecting to see Jason sitting there waiting for her. Silly, she thought. Just because YOU may have feelings for him doesn't mean he has feeling for you! Throwing her coat on the couch, she turned on the radio to prep herself for a serious painting session. Grabbing her brush and paints, she noticed a folded piece of paper leaning against the cup containing the rose bud. She smiled inwardly, knowing that Jason had been here. Unfolding the paper, the smile quickly vanished:
Liz,
I know this is sudden, but I need to take care of some things for
Sonny. You understand why I can't go into detail. I'm sorry
I couldn't say good bye in person, but I barely had time to leave this
note. I couldn't leave without saying good bye. I will be back,
I just don't know when. Please understand.
Jason
Knowing the business Jason was in, Elizabeth accepted his explanation. She was sad he was gone, but he said he's be back. And Jason never breaks his word.
Remembering she needed to be at Kelly's in an hour for her shift, Liz decided against painting, and returned to the diner.
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"Emily!" Elizabeth ran around the counter to greet her friend, silently thanking God that she wasn't hurt. "What did you think you were doing?!?" Elizabeth asked.
"We just wanted to get away before the trial started," Emily explained. "With all the pressure Sonny and Alexis have been putting on Zander, I thought it would be good to get away from that."
"You could've told us you were leaving!!" Elizabeth couldn't believe what had happened to her friend. Ever since she'd been kidnapped, Emily wasn't the same. Just like Lucky, Liz thought
"I knew we'd be back in a few days. I figured you would be ok without us for awhile." Emily knew how much Zander was disliked, but they'd only been away for a few days!!
Zander walked into the restaurant, with Lucky behind him. Liz cleared her throat, telling Tammy she was going on her break.
Walking up to Lucky she hugged him, "We need to talk." Lucky looked at her quizzically as she grabbed her coat and walked out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once on the docks, Lucky pulled Liz in for a kiss, but she turned her head at the last minute, his kiss ending up on her cheek. Knowing this was not a good sign, Lucky sat down on the bench and steeled himself for what was coming.
Liz sighed as she looked out on the river. This would take every ounce of courage she had. And even then she wasn't sure if she could do it. She turned back to Lucky, the look on his face breaking her heart.
Before she could get a word out, Lucky interrupted her, "It's Jason isn't it?" He couldn't hold it in any longer. He had seen the sketch, and the rosebud was not from Emily, he had known before he asked her.
Liz looked down so he wouldn't see the truth in her eyes. She knew he had known, wasn't sure how, but he knew. "This doesn't have anything to do with Jason. This has everything to do with us." She sighed as she sat down next to him. "Lucky, I realized something yesterday. Something I never thought would happen, but it did. And I don't know if I can change it." He looked at her with pain in his eyes. "Lucky," she whispered, "I'm not in love with you anymore."
Lucky stopped breathing. To him it felt like his heart stopped beating. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
Elizabeth continued, "I don't know when, or how it happened. No, I do know when. When you were gone. Lucky, I had let you go, finally faced up to the fact that you weren't coming back. But then, you were here again! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't admit it. Especially when you kept telling me you didn't love me."
Lucky looked at her, tears streaming down his face. "But you didn't give up on me. You made me see Dr. Collins. We fixed it, WE did Liz, you and me."
Liz nodded as she looked towards the water. "I know Lucky. During that time, I clung to what we had, the perfect love, a permanent lock. But Lucky, I don't feel that permanent lock anymore. What we were then is not who we are now. I can't hold onto the dreams that we shared, Lucky, because that's just what they are, dreams."
Lucky balked at her words. "We can still have those dreams Elizabeth, please Elizabeth. We can make new dreams."
Elizabeth shook her head, "No Lucky, I'm not the same anymore. I want different things for myself. I do love you Lucky, but I'm not in love with you anymore. I'm sorry." She blinked away the tears that threatened to fall.
"Elizabeth-" he started, but she interrupted him.
"No Lucky, don't tell me you're still in love with me. You're in love with what I was. But I'm not that person anymore. And you're not the person I fell in love with either. We're different, I've finally admitted it to myself. And in time you'll see it too. I know you will." She took a deep breath, "I hate hurting you like this, but staying with you, and pretending that our love is indestructible would only be hurting you more."
Lucky thought for a moment, then asked his original question again, "It's Jason, isn't it?"
This has nothing to do with Jason!" she yelled. I make my own decisions. I should have let you go in the beginning, when you were pushing me away. But, Lucky, loving you was all I ever knew. I couldn't let it go so easily."
Lucky scoffed, "Well, you sure are letting it go pretty easily now."
"Lucky, I can't pretend any more. And I can't stand to hurt you anymore." Taking his face in her hands, she kissed him gently on the lips. "Good bye Lucky," she whispered before turning to walk away.
Lucky jumped up to stop her, "Elizabeth! I won't stop loving you. Never."
Elizabeth smiled sadly, "Yes you will."