Chapter 13
Non omnia possumus omne.
Everybody cannot do everything.
(Vergil, Eclogae)
"So, how do you like your new position of power?" Beverly Crusher asked Vicki Ann over
the comm link.
Vicki Ann laughed. "It's only temporary. Besides, Julian will be back tomorrow. It's hard to
believe it'll be two weeks that he's been gone."
"Do you like the job?"
"I LOVE IT!" Vicki Ann exclaimed.
"Do I sense some enthusiasm there?" Beverly teased. "Maybe one of these days, you'll
leave the station for your own CMO position."
Vicki Ann shook her head. "I don't know. I've already fallen in love with the station. By the
time my probation is over, I might never want to leave!"
"Dammit!" Julian Bashir yelled as he slammed his fist into the console in Section 31's lab. He
wasn't any closer to finding out why the implant was malfunctioning and he'd been working
for what seemed like an eternity. He'd even lost track of how many days he'd been there.
He really didn't want to solve the problem with the implant, but he thought that if he did,
maybe they'd let him go home.
Sid entered to check on Julian's progress. "How's it coming?"
"I can't find a way to stop the corrosion of the circuits from the chemicals the brain
produces. That's what causes the malfunctions.
These chemicals build up in the brain and work on the circuits after a few months. I've
tried everything from coating the implant to chemical reducers. The only other option I see
at the moment is for you to put in a new implant every few months."
"That just isn't possible. Sometimes agents have to be on missions for years."
"Do you brainwash all your agents?" Julian snapped.
"Only the more uncooperative ones."
"You mean the ones who don't respond to threats on their loved ones?"
"Exactly. And those who have no loved ones," Sid replied. "If there's a way to stop the
corrosion, I'm sure you'll find it."
"Maybe it's a sign."
"What?"
"Maybe it's a divine sign from God or the Prophets or whatever that what you're doing is
wrong."
"Very funny, doctor," Sid said, giving Julian a cold look before turning to leave.
"Just out of curiosity, how are you explaining my absence?"
"We're not. We sent a temporary replacement."
Julian's eyes narrowed. "The clone you used to abduct Vicki Ann."
Sid nodded. "I must be going now."
After Sid was gone, Julian sat down and sighed. He didn't want Sid to see that he'd gotten
to him. He could only imagine what was going on with his clone at the station. For all he
knew, this 'other' him could be messing things up with Ezri. He wanted to go home and he
would do anything to get there, even if it meant working for Section 31.
"Dr. Bashir's shuttle is four hours overdue, sir," Ensign Marques told Colonel Kira.
"Check with Cardassia and make sure he left," Kira replied. He probably visited with Garak,
or found someone who needed medical attention as he was leaving.
"Already done, sir. Cardassia said that he left on schedule."
Kira looked up. "Get the Defiant ready," she replied, trying to hide the worry in her voice.
All of a sudden, she had a bad feeling.
May the Prophets be with him.
"Dr. Troi, please report to docking bay seven. Bring a med kit," Kira's voice said over the
comm system.
Vicki Ann left the infirmary in the care of one of Julian's best nurses and left.
"What's going on?" Vicki Ann asked, as she walked into the Defiant. She noticed that Kira
was there, along with Ezri, Nog and Ensign Marques.
Ezri looked up from her station, her eyes filled with worry. "Julian's missing."
"He's not missing," Kira replied, both trying to comfort Ezri and reassure herself. "He's just
a little overdue."
"A LITTLE OVERDUE? HE'S FOUR HOURS LATE!" Ezri exclaimed.
Vicki Ann went over to her friend. "Calm down, Ezri. We're all worried. I'm sure everything's
fine. He probably just overworked himself on Cardassia and fell asleep at the helm."
Ezri nodded. "You're right," she said, sitting back down.
"Vicki Ann, you want to take the helm?" Kira asked, smiling.
"Do you really have to ask that question?" Nog said, laughing.
As Vicki Ann walked to the pilot's seat, she bopped the young lieutenant on the shoulder
lightly. "Watch it, Nog. I outrank you and I work in the infirmary."
"Yes, sir!" he replied, saluting.
Vicki Ann laughed as she set course for Cardassia.
"Warp five. Engage," Kira said.
"Aye, sir," replied Vicki Ann.
"I'm picking up a vessel of some kind in sensor range. It looks like it's pretty badly
damaged," Marques told Kira.
"Could it be Julian's shuttle?"
"It's a possibility."
"Any life signs?"
"We're not close enough yet. Wait. . .now. Yes, one life sign.
Human. Very weak."
"Are we in transporter range?"
"Now we are."
"Beam them directly to sickbay."
Vicki Ann was already out of her seat and was sprinting to sickbay with her med kit.
Vicki Ann entered sickbay just as her patient materialized on the biobed. She gasped when
she saw that it was indeed, Julian. She quickly scanned him. He had severe plasma burns
over 80% of his body. His pulse was dropping rapidly. She grabbed a hypospray and
programmed it for cordrazine. She had a feeling that nothing weaker would work. Nothing.
She grabbed the cortical simulators and placed them on him. She monitored his condition
while she charged him. Nothing. She went higher. Nothing. Higher. Still nothing. "Dammit,
Julian. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" She felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Vicki Ann, he's gone," Kira said.
"No," she whispered. She tried again.
"Vicki Ann-"
And again.
"DOCTOR!"
Vicki Ann turned off the equipment. "Time of death- 17:34."
She leaned over and put her head down on the biobed. "Oh, Nerys. It's not supposed to be
this way." Vicki Ann felt Kira put her hand back on her shoulder.
"I know, Vicki Ann."
Vicki Ann sat up. "No, that's not what I mean. He and Ezri had just found each other and
they were so happy. It's just like with Jadzia." Vicki Ann realized the extent of what she
had just said. "Oh, God, Nerys. How am I going to tell Ezri?"
"Tell me what?" a voice said from the doorway. "Oh, my God!"
Vicki Ann looked up to see that Ezri had entered and was running over to Julian. Vicki Ann
stopped her. "NO!"
"I want to see him," Ezri replied.
"No, you don't. Not like this. Remember him the way he was. Not like this."
"Vicki Ann-"
"Ezri, you're a counselor. You know the ramifications of this if you go over there. Don't do
it."
The tears began to fall down Ezri's face. "Oh, Vicki Ann!" She hugged her friend and cried
on her shoulder.
Vicki Ann tried to comfort her friend, but found it difficult because there was no one to
comfort her.
Vicki Ann slid into a chair and put her face in her hands. She let out a breath that she
didn't realize she had been holding in.
"How is she?" a voice asked from the doorway.
Vicki Ann looked up. Kira was standing there. "I gave her a sedative. She's sleeping right
now. She should be fine until we get home."
"How are you?" Kira asked.
"Me? I'm fine. It's Ezri I'm worried about. After all, how do you counsel a counselor?"
Kira nodded. "Unfortunately, that job will fall on you since you're the doctor on the
station."
Vicki Ann laughed. "How can I counsel someone when I feel as bad as she does?" She ran
her fingers through her hair nervously. "Julian was my best friend. He saved my life
numerous times. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him. And I couldn't even save him
once."
Kira put her hand on Vicki Ann's arm, comfortingly. "It wasn't your fault. You did everything
you could."
"Did I?" Vicki Ann asked, turning to face Kira.
"Julian would be proud. You're beating yourself up just like he used to."
Vicki Ann managed a smile and then shook her head. "You know, ever since we met, he's
bragged about me. About what a great doctor I was, even when I wasn't practicing. I
couldn't even meet his expectations when it was his life I was dealing with. You know, the
biggest mistake Julian ever made was convincing Admiral Kelley to reinstate me. If I hadn't
been reinstated, Julian wouldn't have been able to go to Cardassia because there would
have been no doctor in the infirmary and-"
"Vicki Ann, don't do that to yourself. Don't try to blame yourself for this!"
"Someone has to take the blame!"
"Why?"
"Because nothing happens for reason. I ought to know that by now. There is a reason that
this happened."
"But it wasn't your fault. Look, I've got to get back to the bridge. If you need to talk, let
me know, okay?"
Vicki Ann nodded slowly. As Kira left, Vicki Ann buried her face in her hands and cried like a
lost child.
Non omnia possumus omne.
Everybody cannot do everything.
(Vergil, Eclogae)
"So, how do you like your new position of power?" Beverly Crusher asked Vicki Ann over
the comm link.
Vicki Ann laughed. "It's only temporary. Besides, Julian will be back tomorrow. It's hard to
believe it'll be two weeks that he's been gone."
"Do you like the job?"
"I LOVE IT!" Vicki Ann exclaimed.
"Do I sense some enthusiasm there?" Beverly teased. "Maybe one of these days, you'll
leave the station for your own CMO position."
Vicki Ann shook her head. "I don't know. I've already fallen in love with the station. By the
time my probation is over, I might never want to leave!"
"Dammit!" Julian Bashir yelled as he slammed his fist into the console in Section 31's lab. He
wasn't any closer to finding out why the implant was malfunctioning and he'd been working
for what seemed like an eternity. He'd even lost track of how many days he'd been there.
He really didn't want to solve the problem with the implant, but he thought that if he did,
maybe they'd let him go home.
Sid entered to check on Julian's progress. "How's it coming?"
"I can't find a way to stop the corrosion of the circuits from the chemicals the brain
produces. That's what causes the malfunctions.
These chemicals build up in the brain and work on the circuits after a few months. I've
tried everything from coating the implant to chemical reducers. The only other option I see
at the moment is for you to put in a new implant every few months."
"That just isn't possible. Sometimes agents have to be on missions for years."
"Do you brainwash all your agents?" Julian snapped.
"Only the more uncooperative ones."
"You mean the ones who don't respond to threats on their loved ones?"
"Exactly. And those who have no loved ones," Sid replied. "If there's a way to stop the
corrosion, I'm sure you'll find it."
"Maybe it's a sign."
"What?"
"Maybe it's a divine sign from God or the Prophets or whatever that what you're doing is
wrong."
"Very funny, doctor," Sid said, giving Julian a cold look before turning to leave.
"Just out of curiosity, how are you explaining my absence?"
"We're not. We sent a temporary replacement."
Julian's eyes narrowed. "The clone you used to abduct Vicki Ann."
Sid nodded. "I must be going now."
After Sid was gone, Julian sat down and sighed. He didn't want Sid to see that he'd gotten
to him. He could only imagine what was going on with his clone at the station. For all he
knew, this 'other' him could be messing things up with Ezri. He wanted to go home and he
would do anything to get there, even if it meant working for Section 31.
"Dr. Bashir's shuttle is four hours overdue, sir," Ensign Marques told Colonel Kira.
"Check with Cardassia and make sure he left," Kira replied. He probably visited with Garak,
or found someone who needed medical attention as he was leaving.
"Already done, sir. Cardassia said that he left on schedule."
Kira looked up. "Get the Defiant ready," she replied, trying to hide the worry in her voice.
All of a sudden, she had a bad feeling.
May the Prophets be with him.
"Dr. Troi, please report to docking bay seven. Bring a med kit," Kira's voice said over the
comm system.
Vicki Ann left the infirmary in the care of one of Julian's best nurses and left.
"What's going on?" Vicki Ann asked, as she walked into the Defiant. She noticed that Kira
was there, along with Ezri, Nog and Ensign Marques.
Ezri looked up from her station, her eyes filled with worry. "Julian's missing."
"He's not missing," Kira replied, both trying to comfort Ezri and reassure herself. "He's just
a little overdue."
"A LITTLE OVERDUE? HE'S FOUR HOURS LATE!" Ezri exclaimed.
Vicki Ann went over to her friend. "Calm down, Ezri. We're all worried. I'm sure everything's
fine. He probably just overworked himself on Cardassia and fell asleep at the helm."
Ezri nodded. "You're right," she said, sitting back down.
"Vicki Ann, you want to take the helm?" Kira asked, smiling.
"Do you really have to ask that question?" Nog said, laughing.
As Vicki Ann walked to the pilot's seat, she bopped the young lieutenant on the shoulder
lightly. "Watch it, Nog. I outrank you and I work in the infirmary."
"Yes, sir!" he replied, saluting.
Vicki Ann laughed as she set course for Cardassia.
"Warp five. Engage," Kira said.
"Aye, sir," replied Vicki Ann.
"I'm picking up a vessel of some kind in sensor range. It looks like it's pretty badly
damaged," Marques told Kira.
"Could it be Julian's shuttle?"
"It's a possibility."
"Any life signs?"
"We're not close enough yet. Wait. . .now. Yes, one life sign.
Human. Very weak."
"Are we in transporter range?"
"Now we are."
"Beam them directly to sickbay."
Vicki Ann was already out of her seat and was sprinting to sickbay with her med kit.
Vicki Ann entered sickbay just as her patient materialized on the biobed. She gasped when
she saw that it was indeed, Julian. She quickly scanned him. He had severe plasma burns
over 80% of his body. His pulse was dropping rapidly. She grabbed a hypospray and
programmed it for cordrazine. She had a feeling that nothing weaker would work. Nothing.
She grabbed the cortical simulators and placed them on him. She monitored his condition
while she charged him. Nothing. She went higher. Nothing. Higher. Still nothing. "Dammit,
Julian. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" She felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Vicki Ann, he's gone," Kira said.
"No," she whispered. She tried again.
"Vicki Ann-"
And again.
"DOCTOR!"
Vicki Ann turned off the equipment. "Time of death- 17:34."
She leaned over and put her head down on the biobed. "Oh, Nerys. It's not supposed to be
this way." Vicki Ann felt Kira put her hand back on her shoulder.
"I know, Vicki Ann."
Vicki Ann sat up. "No, that's not what I mean. He and Ezri had just found each other and
they were so happy. It's just like with Jadzia." Vicki Ann realized the extent of what she
had just said. "Oh, God, Nerys. How am I going to tell Ezri?"
"Tell me what?" a voice said from the doorway. "Oh, my God!"
Vicki Ann looked up to see that Ezri had entered and was running over to Julian. Vicki Ann
stopped her. "NO!"
"I want to see him," Ezri replied.
"No, you don't. Not like this. Remember him the way he was. Not like this."
"Vicki Ann-"
"Ezri, you're a counselor. You know the ramifications of this if you go over there. Don't do
it."
The tears began to fall down Ezri's face. "Oh, Vicki Ann!" She hugged her friend and cried
on her shoulder.
Vicki Ann tried to comfort her friend, but found it difficult because there was no one to
comfort her.
Vicki Ann slid into a chair and put her face in her hands. She let out a breath that she
didn't realize she had been holding in.
"How is she?" a voice asked from the doorway.
Vicki Ann looked up. Kira was standing there. "I gave her a sedative. She's sleeping right
now. She should be fine until we get home."
"How are you?" Kira asked.
"Me? I'm fine. It's Ezri I'm worried about. After all, how do you counsel a counselor?"
Kira nodded. "Unfortunately, that job will fall on you since you're the doctor on the
station."
Vicki Ann laughed. "How can I counsel someone when I feel as bad as she does?" She ran
her fingers through her hair nervously. "Julian was my best friend. He saved my life
numerous times. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him. And I couldn't even save him
once."
Kira put her hand on Vicki Ann's arm, comfortingly. "It wasn't your fault. You did everything
you could."
"Did I?" Vicki Ann asked, turning to face Kira.
"Julian would be proud. You're beating yourself up just like he used to."
Vicki Ann managed a smile and then shook her head. "You know, ever since we met, he's
bragged about me. About what a great doctor I was, even when I wasn't practicing. I
couldn't even meet his expectations when it was his life I was dealing with. You know, the
biggest mistake Julian ever made was convincing Admiral Kelley to reinstate me. If I hadn't
been reinstated, Julian wouldn't have been able to go to Cardassia because there would
have been no doctor in the infirmary and-"
"Vicki Ann, don't do that to yourself. Don't try to blame yourself for this!"
"Someone has to take the blame!"
"Why?"
"Because nothing happens for reason. I ought to know that by now. There is a reason that
this happened."
"But it wasn't your fault. Look, I've got to get back to the bridge. If you need to talk, let
me know, okay?"
Vicki Ann nodded slowly. As Kira left, Vicki Ann buried her face in her hands and cried like a
lost child.