Chapter 14
Nemo nisi mors.
Nobody except death (will part us).
Vicki Ann ran her hands down the front of her uniform. She told herself that she wanted to
look like she was in complete control, but it was more of a nervous habit. She didn't want
to do the autopsy and she had been called to Kira's office anyway. If she was lucky, she'd
be able to delay the autopsy until the new CMO came. She checked her reflection on the
computer console. She looked like hell, but it was no wonder. She'd had to sedate Ezri
again once they arrived at the station. Ezri was now sleeping peacefully in the infirmary
and would do so for the next four hours.
As for Vicki Ann, she had pushed every emotion away. She was as detached as she could
get. Not that she was that detached normally. That had always been one of her flaws as
a doctor, she could never become that detached from her patients. To her, they were
people with lives and families to get back to, or leave behind.
Vicki Ann shrugged off her appearance and made her way to Kira's office. When she
entered, Kira motioned for her to sit down.
"Vicki Ann, I just spoke to Starfleet about needing a new CMO."
Vicki Ann nodding, knowing that there would be someone new coming and she would
probably be shipped back to the Enterprise.
"And due to the number of complaints the admiral has received about your probation, you
have been named as Julian's replacement."
"What?"
Kira managed a small smile. "Congratulations, Vicki Ann. You're the new CMO of the
station. I just wish it could be under better circumstances."
It all hit Vicki Ann at once. She managed to hide her emotions from Kira though. "So do I.
Thank you, very much. It means a lot that you think that I can do the job."
Kira nodded. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Now, I assume you want to return to the infirmary.
But, before you go, there's one more thing.
I was looking over Julian's final wishes, and he wanted you to take care of everything."
"Me?"
"Yes, he felt that it would be too painful for Ezri and he didn't want to bother O'Brien on
Earth and you were already here."
Vicki Ann nodded. "That sounds like Julian. Always thinking about other people." Too bad
he forgot about me.
"I'm sorry, but that means that the job of telling people falls on you. There's a list of
people to contact included," she said, handing Vicki Ann the PADD that contained Julian's
final wishes.
"Thank you."
"You'll make sure to let me know when the memorial service is?"
"Of course," Vicki Ann replied. "Of course." She picked up a wisp of a thought from Kira. "I
know that the two of you didn't always get along and that for a while, Julian thought you
hated him."
"I didn't-"
Vicki Ann smiled. "I know you didn't. And so did he. I just wanted to make sure you knew
that."
"Thanks, Vicki Ann," Kira said, smiling. "Thanks."
Vicki Ann sat down at her desk in her quarters and turned on the viewer. She took a deep
breath and sent a message to Earth. A few moments later, the link was active. A face
appeared on the screen, an older woman with a wonderful smile. Vicki Ann hadn't met her,
but had seen her picture. Vicki Ann forced a smile. "Hello, Mrs. Bashir. My name is Dr.
Victorianna Troi. I'm a friend of Julian's."
Mrs. Bashir smiled. "It's nice to finally have a face to go with the name. Julian talks about
you a lot you know. He's constantly bragging about you."
Vicki Ann smiled. That sounded like Julian.
"Is everything all right?"
Vicki Ann swallowed. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Bashir. I wish that I could say that it was. You see,
Julian was sent to Cardassia to help with the relief efforts and on his way home, his
shuttle was attacked by an unknown vessel. I'm sorry, I did everything I could, but it was
too late by the time we got to him."
By this time, Julian's father had come up behind Mrs. Bashir, who now had her mouth
covered with her hand in shock. "Oh, my God. Julian," she whispered.
Julian's father maintained control. "Has a memorial service been planned yet?"
"We're working on that," Vicki Ann replied. "It should be within the next few days."
"We'll leave tomorrow. Who's taking care of Julian's things?"
he asked.
"I am. Julian felt it would be to painful for Ezri and he didn't want to bother anyone who
wasn't on the station."
"We'll see you in a few days then. Thank you for telling us,"
replied Mr. Bashir.
"You're welcome," Vicki Ann replied.
The link went dead.
Vicki Ann sent another message to Earth. This time to the O'Briens.
Keiko appeared on the active link. "Hi, Vicki Ann. It's nice to hear from you. To what do I
owe this pleasure?"
Vicki Ann smiled slightly. "Hi, Keiko. I wish this was a social call, but it's not." She explained
about Julian's trip. "He was too far gone by the time we got there."
Keiko's reaction was similar to everyone else's; a gasp or two, a reference to a deity.
"There's going to be a memorial service sometime in the next few days. I'm not sure when.
I'm supposed to be working on it, but things have been busy in the infirmary."
Keiko nodded. "Have they found a new CMO?"
"I've been chosen to replace Julian."
"That's wonderful! Julian would have been proud. How's Ezri taking it?"
"Not well, which is to be expected. She's been sedated most of the time since we found
him. I can't keep that up forever, though. I've suggested to Kira that we bring in a
different counselor temporarily until she's better."
"That sounds like a good idea. I'll talk to Miles and we should be there in a day or two."
"Give Miles my best. Oh, Molly and Yoshi too."
Keiko nodded. "Tell everyone hello. We'll see you in a few days."
Vicki Ann nodded and cut the link. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her
arms around them. She let her barriers down and cried until she had no tears left.
Ezri Dax awoke in the infirmary. "Julian?"
Vicki Ann went over to Ezri. "It's me, Vicki Ann."
"Where's Julian?"
Uh-oh. "Ezri, Julian died. On the way back from Cardassia. Don't you remember?"
Of course I remember. How could I forget? Ezri just didn't want to remember. Besides,
she'd been sedated and that made her feel disconnected from everything. She didn't know
what was real and what she had dreamt. "Yes, I remember. I'm sorry for the way I acted,
Vicki Ann."
"That's okay," Vicki Ann replied, putting her hand on Ezri's.
"What are you doing here? Didn't they find a replacement?"
"Me."
"You?"
"Yeah, me. I'd argue, but I'm outnumbered."
"That's great, Vicki Ann. Julian would have been thrilled."
"I'm sure he would. Ezri, I've talked to Kira and Starfleet is sending someone to fill in for
you until you're better."
Ezri nodded. "Good idea. I'm not any good to anyone right now.
Do you know who they're sending?"
Vicki Ann shook her head. "I don't know." She heard the doors open and she turned
around. Deanna and Riker were standing there.
"Hello, Vicki Ann, Ezri," Deanna said.
"What are you doing here?" Vicki Ann asked.
"I'm your temporary counselor. We all had shore leave saved up and when the captain
heard about Julian, he suggested I fill in for Ezri. Besides, we all wanted to attend the
memorial service," Deanna replied.
Vicki Ann smiled. "Thank you," she whispered, hugging her sister. "It'll be good to have you
here."
"What are you doing in here all by yourself?" Riker teased. "Admiral Kelley wouldn't be too
happy if he saw this. Where's the new CMO?"
"You're looking at her," Ezri replied.
"WHAT?" Riker and Deanna chorused.
"I've been named as Julian's replacement," Vicki Ann replied.
"Congratulations!" Deanna said, beaming. "Julian would be proud."
I know. Everyone has said that today in one form or another. Julian would be proud.
Julian would be thrilled. Believe me, no one knows better than me how high Julian's
expectations of me were.
"Thanks. I'm sorry, but if you don't mind, I have a lot of work to do."
"Of course," Riker replied. "Come on, Deanna, you have to meet with Kira."
Vicki Ann was sitting at a table in the replimat. She had her lunch in front of her, but it
was untouched. She had picked up her spoon and started to stir her tea to cool it down.
But, as she watched the amber liquid swirl around in her mug, a flood of images passed
before her eyes. Images of the person who had first introduced her to this particular kind
of tea. A person who was now gone and never coming back.
"Is this seat taken?" asked a familiar voice.
Vicki Ann looked up. "Garak."
Garak tried again. "May I join you?"
She nodded. "I didn't know you were here."
"I just arrived. Things have quieted down a bit on Cardassia, so I was able to get away."
"He would have been honored that you came for the service."
Garak nodded. He looked at the woman across from him. He didn't know her as well as the
senior officers, but he could tell that she was taking Julian's death very hard. She had
attempted to smile at her last remark, but the muscles in her face were so used to
frowning, that they wouldn't obey. In memory of his friend, Garak vowed to try and help
the woman his friend had found so special. "I hear you've been named as CMO of the
station."
She nodded.
"Julian would have been very proud of you."
"I know."
"He once said that he thought you deserved your own CMO position. It seems the good
doctor thought very highly of you."
Vicki Ann nodded, still stirring her tea, despite that fact that it had turned stone cold a
short while ago.
"I won't say what else the good doctor told me about you."
Vicki Ann glanced up at Garak. "Why not?"
Garak leaned toward her as if he had a secret. "Well, it was while you were dating and it
might make everyone around us blush."
Vicki Ann laughed. She actually laughed for the first time in days.
Garak smiled. "Now there's that smile he loved so much."
Vicki Ann's smiled widened. "Thanks Garak."
The former tailor played innocent. "For what?"
"For cheering me up."
"It's no trouble. If Julian thought highly of you, then you truly must be someone special.
Besides, it's not right for such a beautiful young lady to be frowning the way you were."
Vicki Ann glanced down at her now cold meal. "I think I'm going to get a new lunch. Care
to join me?"
Garak nodded. "It would be my pleasure."
Vicki Ann heard her alarm go off. "Just a few more minute," she mumbled to the empty
room. Then, it hit her: today was the memorial service. As much as she wanted to stay in
bed and forget that Julian was dead, she couldn't. She had arranged the memorial service.
She couldn't not show up. Wishing she had made the service later in the day, she crawled
out of bed and into the shower. She took an extra-hot, extra long shower that morning.
She just couldn't shake the foggy feeling she had. She felt as if she was still asleep.
It was probably the fact that she'd dreamt about Julian. She couldn't remember the
specific details of the dream, but she remember seeing his face. This was odd because she
usually remembered her dreams. It was probably just her subconscious trying to protect
her from something painful. "Computer, what is the time?"
"The time is oh-seven-forty-five."
The service was at 0830 and she had to be there at 0800 to get everything ready and to
greet people. She stopped the shower and began to get ready,. She walked over to her
closet and took out her dress uniform. This was the first time she'd had a reason to wear
it. As she passed the dresser, a necklace caught her eye. Julian had given it to her for her
birthday. It was a D'jani friendship stone. The custom was to give it to a friend to ensure
you never lost hem. She began to wish she'd given it to Julian. He'd also given it her
because the jade-colored stone matched the color of the ocean on Chelsa IV, where
they'd hiked a few times.
She put the necklace on and took a deep breath. "I'm going to get through this, for you,
Julian."
Nemo nisi mors.
Nobody except death (will part us).
Vicki Ann ran her hands down the front of her uniform. She told herself that she wanted to
look like she was in complete control, but it was more of a nervous habit. She didn't want
to do the autopsy and she had been called to Kira's office anyway. If she was lucky, she'd
be able to delay the autopsy until the new CMO came. She checked her reflection on the
computer console. She looked like hell, but it was no wonder. She'd had to sedate Ezri
again once they arrived at the station. Ezri was now sleeping peacefully in the infirmary
and would do so for the next four hours.
As for Vicki Ann, she had pushed every emotion away. She was as detached as she could
get. Not that she was that detached normally. That had always been one of her flaws as
a doctor, she could never become that detached from her patients. To her, they were
people with lives and families to get back to, or leave behind.
Vicki Ann shrugged off her appearance and made her way to Kira's office. When she
entered, Kira motioned for her to sit down.
"Vicki Ann, I just spoke to Starfleet about needing a new CMO."
Vicki Ann nodding, knowing that there would be someone new coming and she would
probably be shipped back to the Enterprise.
"And due to the number of complaints the admiral has received about your probation, you
have been named as Julian's replacement."
"What?"
Kira managed a small smile. "Congratulations, Vicki Ann. You're the new CMO of the
station. I just wish it could be under better circumstances."
It all hit Vicki Ann at once. She managed to hide her emotions from Kira though. "So do I.
Thank you, very much. It means a lot that you think that I can do the job."
Kira nodded. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Now, I assume you want to return to the infirmary.
But, before you go, there's one more thing.
I was looking over Julian's final wishes, and he wanted you to take care of everything."
"Me?"
"Yes, he felt that it would be too painful for Ezri and he didn't want to bother O'Brien on
Earth and you were already here."
Vicki Ann nodded. "That sounds like Julian. Always thinking about other people." Too bad
he forgot about me.
"I'm sorry, but that means that the job of telling people falls on you. There's a list of
people to contact included," she said, handing Vicki Ann the PADD that contained Julian's
final wishes.
"Thank you."
"You'll make sure to let me know when the memorial service is?"
"Of course," Vicki Ann replied. "Of course." She picked up a wisp of a thought from Kira. "I
know that the two of you didn't always get along and that for a while, Julian thought you
hated him."
"I didn't-"
Vicki Ann smiled. "I know you didn't. And so did he. I just wanted to make sure you knew
that."
"Thanks, Vicki Ann," Kira said, smiling. "Thanks."
Vicki Ann sat down at her desk in her quarters and turned on the viewer. She took a deep
breath and sent a message to Earth. A few moments later, the link was active. A face
appeared on the screen, an older woman with a wonderful smile. Vicki Ann hadn't met her,
but had seen her picture. Vicki Ann forced a smile. "Hello, Mrs. Bashir. My name is Dr.
Victorianna Troi. I'm a friend of Julian's."
Mrs. Bashir smiled. "It's nice to finally have a face to go with the name. Julian talks about
you a lot you know. He's constantly bragging about you."
Vicki Ann smiled. That sounded like Julian.
"Is everything all right?"
Vicki Ann swallowed. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Bashir. I wish that I could say that it was. You see,
Julian was sent to Cardassia to help with the relief efforts and on his way home, his
shuttle was attacked by an unknown vessel. I'm sorry, I did everything I could, but it was
too late by the time we got to him."
By this time, Julian's father had come up behind Mrs. Bashir, who now had her mouth
covered with her hand in shock. "Oh, my God. Julian," she whispered.
Julian's father maintained control. "Has a memorial service been planned yet?"
"We're working on that," Vicki Ann replied. "It should be within the next few days."
"We'll leave tomorrow. Who's taking care of Julian's things?"
he asked.
"I am. Julian felt it would be to painful for Ezri and he didn't want to bother anyone who
wasn't on the station."
"We'll see you in a few days then. Thank you for telling us,"
replied Mr. Bashir.
"You're welcome," Vicki Ann replied.
The link went dead.
Vicki Ann sent another message to Earth. This time to the O'Briens.
Keiko appeared on the active link. "Hi, Vicki Ann. It's nice to hear from you. To what do I
owe this pleasure?"
Vicki Ann smiled slightly. "Hi, Keiko. I wish this was a social call, but it's not." She explained
about Julian's trip. "He was too far gone by the time we got there."
Keiko's reaction was similar to everyone else's; a gasp or two, a reference to a deity.
"There's going to be a memorial service sometime in the next few days. I'm not sure when.
I'm supposed to be working on it, but things have been busy in the infirmary."
Keiko nodded. "Have they found a new CMO?"
"I've been chosen to replace Julian."
"That's wonderful! Julian would have been proud. How's Ezri taking it?"
"Not well, which is to be expected. She's been sedated most of the time since we found
him. I can't keep that up forever, though. I've suggested to Kira that we bring in a
different counselor temporarily until she's better."
"That sounds like a good idea. I'll talk to Miles and we should be there in a day or two."
"Give Miles my best. Oh, Molly and Yoshi too."
Keiko nodded. "Tell everyone hello. We'll see you in a few days."
Vicki Ann nodded and cut the link. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her
arms around them. She let her barriers down and cried until she had no tears left.
Ezri Dax awoke in the infirmary. "Julian?"
Vicki Ann went over to Ezri. "It's me, Vicki Ann."
"Where's Julian?"
Uh-oh. "Ezri, Julian died. On the way back from Cardassia. Don't you remember?"
Of course I remember. How could I forget? Ezri just didn't want to remember. Besides,
she'd been sedated and that made her feel disconnected from everything. She didn't know
what was real and what she had dreamt. "Yes, I remember. I'm sorry for the way I acted,
Vicki Ann."
"That's okay," Vicki Ann replied, putting her hand on Ezri's.
"What are you doing here? Didn't they find a replacement?"
"Me."
"You?"
"Yeah, me. I'd argue, but I'm outnumbered."
"That's great, Vicki Ann. Julian would have been thrilled."
"I'm sure he would. Ezri, I've talked to Kira and Starfleet is sending someone to fill in for
you until you're better."
Ezri nodded. "Good idea. I'm not any good to anyone right now.
Do you know who they're sending?"
Vicki Ann shook her head. "I don't know." She heard the doors open and she turned
around. Deanna and Riker were standing there.
"Hello, Vicki Ann, Ezri," Deanna said.
"What are you doing here?" Vicki Ann asked.
"I'm your temporary counselor. We all had shore leave saved up and when the captain
heard about Julian, he suggested I fill in for Ezri. Besides, we all wanted to attend the
memorial service," Deanna replied.
Vicki Ann smiled. "Thank you," she whispered, hugging her sister. "It'll be good to have you
here."
"What are you doing in here all by yourself?" Riker teased. "Admiral Kelley wouldn't be too
happy if he saw this. Where's the new CMO?"
"You're looking at her," Ezri replied.
"WHAT?" Riker and Deanna chorused.
"I've been named as Julian's replacement," Vicki Ann replied.
"Congratulations!" Deanna said, beaming. "Julian would be proud."
I know. Everyone has said that today in one form or another. Julian would be proud.
Julian would be thrilled. Believe me, no one knows better than me how high Julian's
expectations of me were.
"Thanks. I'm sorry, but if you don't mind, I have a lot of work to do."
"Of course," Riker replied. "Come on, Deanna, you have to meet with Kira."
Vicki Ann was sitting at a table in the replimat. She had her lunch in front of her, but it
was untouched. She had picked up her spoon and started to stir her tea to cool it down.
But, as she watched the amber liquid swirl around in her mug, a flood of images passed
before her eyes. Images of the person who had first introduced her to this particular kind
of tea. A person who was now gone and never coming back.
"Is this seat taken?" asked a familiar voice.
Vicki Ann looked up. "Garak."
Garak tried again. "May I join you?"
She nodded. "I didn't know you were here."
"I just arrived. Things have quieted down a bit on Cardassia, so I was able to get away."
"He would have been honored that you came for the service."
Garak nodded. He looked at the woman across from him. He didn't know her as well as the
senior officers, but he could tell that she was taking Julian's death very hard. She had
attempted to smile at her last remark, but the muscles in her face were so used to
frowning, that they wouldn't obey. In memory of his friend, Garak vowed to try and help
the woman his friend had found so special. "I hear you've been named as CMO of the
station."
She nodded.
"Julian would have been very proud of you."
"I know."
"He once said that he thought you deserved your own CMO position. It seems the good
doctor thought very highly of you."
Vicki Ann nodded, still stirring her tea, despite that fact that it had turned stone cold a
short while ago.
"I won't say what else the good doctor told me about you."
Vicki Ann glanced up at Garak. "Why not?"
Garak leaned toward her as if he had a secret. "Well, it was while you were dating and it
might make everyone around us blush."
Vicki Ann laughed. She actually laughed for the first time in days.
Garak smiled. "Now there's that smile he loved so much."
Vicki Ann's smiled widened. "Thanks Garak."
The former tailor played innocent. "For what?"
"For cheering me up."
"It's no trouble. If Julian thought highly of you, then you truly must be someone special.
Besides, it's not right for such a beautiful young lady to be frowning the way you were."
Vicki Ann glanced down at her now cold meal. "I think I'm going to get a new lunch. Care
to join me?"
Garak nodded. "It would be my pleasure."
Vicki Ann heard her alarm go off. "Just a few more minute," she mumbled to the empty
room. Then, it hit her: today was the memorial service. As much as she wanted to stay in
bed and forget that Julian was dead, she couldn't. She had arranged the memorial service.
She couldn't not show up. Wishing she had made the service later in the day, she crawled
out of bed and into the shower. She took an extra-hot, extra long shower that morning.
She just couldn't shake the foggy feeling she had. She felt as if she was still asleep.
It was probably the fact that she'd dreamt about Julian. She couldn't remember the
specific details of the dream, but she remember seeing his face. This was odd because she
usually remembered her dreams. It was probably just her subconscious trying to protect
her from something painful. "Computer, what is the time?"
"The time is oh-seven-forty-five."
The service was at 0830 and she had to be there at 0800 to get everything ready and to
greet people. She stopped the shower and began to get ready,. She walked over to her
closet and took out her dress uniform. This was the first time she'd had a reason to wear
it. As she passed the dresser, a necklace caught her eye. Julian had given it to her for her
birthday. It was a D'jani friendship stone. The custom was to give it to a friend to ensure
you never lost hem. She began to wish she'd given it to Julian. He'd also given it her
because the jade-colored stone matched the color of the ocean on Chelsa IV, where
they'd hiked a few times.
She put the necklace on and took a deep breath. "I'm going to get through this, for you,
Julian."