Part Two: "Because I couldn't stretch it into more than two parts."
"I can't fucking believe this shit. I mean, come on! The myth said I create a female, she loves me forever, everyone's happy! WHAT DOESN'T THAT LITTLE STONE BITCH UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?"
"Well, come on, man! All I could give you was the ability to bring her to life. I'm no love god, man!" Quetzalcoatl replied.
"I know, I'm just pissed off! I mean, Seifer always gets all the women..."
"Dude, don't you know what makes that happen? He's a bad-ass. Bad boys get the girls. Everyone knows that..." Quetzalcoatl replied.
"Well, if that's what will get me someone...I guess I'll have to become a bad boy!" Zell shouted.
("I can do this....") Zell headed over to Squall's room.
("I have the brains...") "HEY, Commander!"
"What do you want, Zell?"
"I have the latest State of Garden for this week for you..."
"Oh. Lay it on me, man."
"Well, the garden has been reeling at the news that Rinoa gave some sweet sweet loving to Friend of Trepe Groupie #1 today, making it official that EVERY GUY in Garden knows the exact shape of that birthmark on her...OWWWW!"
"DON'T SAY THAT STUFF, MAN."
"okay....YES! I've got the scar..."
("I have the technology...) "Now I'll be a bad-ass for sure....A-HEM! I need the WHOLE tattoo covered here, don't spare that foundation! Honestly, I get so mad I could just spit!"
"Don't worry, Zell, I'll handle this perfectly...(What now? Who am I helping him woo this time?)"
"Thanks! It looks great...."
("I have the skill to get there undetected...") "HEY! WHO TOOK MY "WEDNESDAY EXACT OUTFIT?"
(I am....) "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GAZE UPON "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN, Oh, wait, wrong one. My bad..."
"CHICKEN WUSS, what are you doing? Get out of my clothes!"
"No. I am a bad-ass now. You will not refer to me as Chicken-Wuss anymore."
"Chicken-Wuss..." Squall, Seifer, and Irvine shouted.
"YOU'RE ALL MEAN! ALL OF YOU!" Zell ran crying back to his room.
(FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WERE DOWN WITH THE "HAPPY ENDING.")
"YOU GUYS, that was mean!" the girls replied.
"Come on, he was asking for it."
"Yeah, but you've seen how distant he's been? I think he's hurt seeing us all with you guys, him without anyone..."
"Yeah, but he's the Chicken Wuss! He doesn't get a woman! He's all...Chicken Wuss-y!"
"Well, we're going to cheer him up. We'll see you later."
"Lousy guys...It's all because I'm black, isn't it..." Zell moped. *knock*
"Who is it?"
"Zell..."
"What do you girls want?"
"We know you're down about not having anyone...We wanted to 'show our appreciation' for what you did to save the world...Pull out your hotdog..."
(FOR THE "NORMAL ENDING"):
"Dammit...It's just a dream....Don't you hate it when you have one of those dreams where everything your heart desires comes to pass, and then suddenly, you wake up, only you're depressed because you'd have rather lived inside that dream and just went with it? It totally sucks...I can't count all of the times I've had that happen to me..."
(Since the "Happy Ending" won:)
"Don't worry about it, Zell. Everything's all right, isn't it?" the library girl replied.
"I guess so." Zell held her close as he drifted back to sleep. "I love you..."
"I love you too...Hey, whatever happened to that stone chick you created?"
"Welcome to BTV's JACKASS, I am Galatea DINCHTCREATION, and I've rigged myself to this Russian Suicide chair....but to make this more interesting, I think I'll add some dynamite on my LAP to the party..."
"I can't fucking believe this shit. I mean, come on! The myth said I create a female, she loves me forever, everyone's happy! WHAT DOESN'T THAT LITTLE STONE BITCH UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?"
"Well, come on, man! All I could give you was the ability to bring her to life. I'm no love god, man!" Quetzalcoatl replied.
"I know, I'm just pissed off! I mean, Seifer always gets all the women..."
"Dude, don't you know what makes that happen? He's a bad-ass. Bad boys get the girls. Everyone knows that..." Quetzalcoatl replied.
"Well, if that's what will get me someone...I guess I'll have to become a bad boy!" Zell shouted.
("I can do this....") Zell headed over to Squall's room.
("I have the brains...") "HEY, Commander!"
"What do you want, Zell?"
"I have the latest State of Garden for this week for you..."
"Oh. Lay it on me, man."
"Well, the garden has been reeling at the news that Rinoa gave some sweet sweet loving to Friend of Trepe Groupie #1 today, making it official that EVERY GUY in Garden knows the exact shape of that birthmark on her...OWWWW!"
"DON'T SAY THAT STUFF, MAN."
"okay....YES! I've got the scar..."
("I have the technology...) "Now I'll be a bad-ass for sure....A-HEM! I need the WHOLE tattoo covered here, don't spare that foundation! Honestly, I get so mad I could just spit!"
"Don't worry, Zell, I'll handle this perfectly...(What now? Who am I helping him woo this time?)"
"Thanks! It looks great...."
("I have the skill to get there undetected...") "HEY! WHO TOOK MY "WEDNESDAY EXACT OUTFIT?"
(I am....) "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GAZE UPON "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN, Oh, wait, wrong one. My bad..."
"CHICKEN WUSS, what are you doing? Get out of my clothes!"
"No. I am a bad-ass now. You will not refer to me as Chicken-Wuss anymore."
"Chicken-Wuss..." Squall, Seifer, and Irvine shouted.
"YOU'RE ALL MEAN! ALL OF YOU!" Zell ran crying back to his room.
(FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WERE DOWN WITH THE "HAPPY ENDING.")
"YOU GUYS, that was mean!" the girls replied.
"Come on, he was asking for it."
"Yeah, but you've seen how distant he's been? I think he's hurt seeing us all with you guys, him without anyone..."
"Yeah, but he's the Chicken Wuss! He doesn't get a woman! He's all...Chicken Wuss-y!"
"Well, we're going to cheer him up. We'll see you later."
"Lousy guys...It's all because I'm black, isn't it..." Zell moped. *knock*
"Who is it?"
"Zell..."
"What do you girls want?"
"We know you're down about not having anyone...We wanted to 'show our appreciation' for what you did to save the world...Pull out your hotdog..."
(FOR THE "NORMAL ENDING"):
"Dammit...It's just a dream....Don't you hate it when you have one of those dreams where everything your heart desires comes to pass, and then suddenly, you wake up, only you're depressed because you'd have rather lived inside that dream and just went with it? It totally sucks...I can't count all of the times I've had that happen to me..."
(Since the "Happy Ending" won:)
"Don't worry about it, Zell. Everything's all right, isn't it?" the library girl replied.
"I guess so." Zell held her close as he drifted back to sleep. "I love you..."
"I love you too...Hey, whatever happened to that stone chick you created?"
"Welcome to BTV's JACKASS, I am Galatea DINCHTCREATION, and I've rigged myself to this Russian Suicide chair....but to make this more interesting, I think I'll add some dynamite on my LAP to the party..."