Chapter 4
Sunlight was streaming in through the window. Giles began to wake up. He realized that his arms were still wrapped around Buffy. Her form was melded into his. Perfect fit he thought. He hugged her tightly.
Buffy began to stir. Then she sat up quickly. "Where am I?" she asked out loud.
"Buffy, relax, we're in your room." Giles sat up next to her.
"Oh Giles," she breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought I dreamed what happened last night."
"No, you didn't. I hope you slept well," he said to her.
"Actually, I've probably had the best sleep in weeks. I feel alive for the first time, since..." she stopped. Tears started to form in her eyes.
Giles put his arms around her. She began to cry quietly against his chest.
"Buffy, nothing I can say will make the pain go away," he said sadly. "But I'm here for you. If you need to talk, I'll listen. If you need a shoulder to cry on, it's yours. Anything you need..." Tears began to well up in his own eyes and he could continue no further. He just held her tightly and cried with her.
A few minutes passed, and Buffy's tears subsided. She looked up at Giles.
"I can't lie to you. What has happened has just about killed me inside. There have been times when I've just wanted to die. And a few times I've really considered doing something about it. But you know what has kept me going?" she looked up at him sadly. "You Giles. All I could think about was you and what killing myself would do to you."
Giles held her tightly.
"When Jenny was taken away from me," he began. "All I wanted to do was die. That was why I went to face Angelus on my own." He recalled the memory of Jenny's lifeless body lying in his bed. "Life had no meaning at that point. But when you found me and told me that you couldn't face this war without me, I realized that you meant more to me than anything else in the world. Even more than Jenny."
Buffy looked up at him, surprised.
"I realized then, that I was bound to you in such a way that I would never leave you. I would do what I could to protect you." He frowned. "Then I had to go along with the traditions of the Council and almost let you get killed."
She gave him a sad smile. "We'll have none of that. No looking back at our past mistakes. Today I want you to help me. I want to go someplace. Anyplace. I need to leave this house. I need to start living again. If I don't you really will have to put me away."
"Buffy, are you sure of this?" Giles looked at her.
"Giles, for the last week or so I've been trying to pull myself out of the shell I've been living in. When I called you last night, I knew it was the first step in helping myself. Now I need to take a second step" she said.
"Very well," he said. "Why don't you get ready and I'll talk with the nurse and make sure she's ready to leave."
"Alright," she looked like she wanted to say something but didn't.
"I'll see you downstairs," he told her.
She got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Giles quickly got dressed and went downstairs.
I hope she's ready to face the world.
Sunlight was streaming in through the window. Giles began to wake up. He realized that his arms were still wrapped around Buffy. Her form was melded into his. Perfect fit he thought. He hugged her tightly.
Buffy began to stir. Then she sat up quickly. "Where am I?" she asked out loud.
"Buffy, relax, we're in your room." Giles sat up next to her.
"Oh Giles," she breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought I dreamed what happened last night."
"No, you didn't. I hope you slept well," he said to her.
"Actually, I've probably had the best sleep in weeks. I feel alive for the first time, since..." she stopped. Tears started to form in her eyes.
Giles put his arms around her. She began to cry quietly against his chest.
"Buffy, nothing I can say will make the pain go away," he said sadly. "But I'm here for you. If you need to talk, I'll listen. If you need a shoulder to cry on, it's yours. Anything you need..." Tears began to well up in his own eyes and he could continue no further. He just held her tightly and cried with her.
A few minutes passed, and Buffy's tears subsided. She looked up at Giles.
"I can't lie to you. What has happened has just about killed me inside. There have been times when I've just wanted to die. And a few times I've really considered doing something about it. But you know what has kept me going?" she looked up at him sadly. "You Giles. All I could think about was you and what killing myself would do to you."
Giles held her tightly.
"When Jenny was taken away from me," he began. "All I wanted to do was die. That was why I went to face Angelus on my own." He recalled the memory of Jenny's lifeless body lying in his bed. "Life had no meaning at that point. But when you found me and told me that you couldn't face this war without me, I realized that you meant more to me than anything else in the world. Even more than Jenny."
Buffy looked up at him, surprised.
"I realized then, that I was bound to you in such a way that I would never leave you. I would do what I could to protect you." He frowned. "Then I had to go along with the traditions of the Council and almost let you get killed."
She gave him a sad smile. "We'll have none of that. No looking back at our past mistakes. Today I want you to help me. I want to go someplace. Anyplace. I need to leave this house. I need to start living again. If I don't you really will have to put me away."
"Buffy, are you sure of this?" Giles looked at her.
"Giles, for the last week or so I've been trying to pull myself out of the shell I've been living in. When I called you last night, I knew it was the first step in helping myself. Now I need to take a second step" she said.
"Very well," he said. "Why don't you get ready and I'll talk with the nurse and make sure she's ready to leave."
"Alright," she looked like she wanted to say something but didn't.
"I'll see you downstairs," he told her.
She got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Giles quickly got dressed and went downstairs.
I hope she's ready to face the world.