"So that's your proof. Rock is far from gay." Said Rachel.
"Yeah." Agreed Jessie and Misty.
"Brock, good, good buddy, how exactly do you kiss them so they vote you first place?" Said James.
"Toby Waters taught me a copula weeks before Butch, Cassidy and Gary... Got him." Said Brock, still in a daze from being hit.
"I remember that! It was fun, being his female to be exampled on." Said a grinning Rachel, then frowning at B, C, and G's names being mentioned.
"I always hated that Cassidy b*tch." Said Jessie.
"And Butch's voice... UGH!" Said James.
"And Gary's ego is bigger than a Snorlax!" Said Ash.
"My family and I hate all of those... I don't wanna say it's." Said Misty.
"Hey, let's have a girls kissing contest!" Said Jessie. "Just to round it out." Then she thought "And to show James what I've got."
Rachel's Alakazam popped out of nowhere, and telepathically said
"Rachel, do all your Pokémon have your terrible sense of humor?" Asked Jessie.
"Yep!"
"Let's do that contest." Said James.
"Sure, why not?" Said, of all people, Ash.
"Fine." Said Brock, not as enthusiastic as usual.
"Okay, it's settled. Guys, over there. Girls, over here, with me, get ready to kiss 'em." Said Jessie. " I'll go first."
She kissed all of them, giving her all. She was actually quite good. Except, of course, that she was nervous. After all, James was in the contest!
"Misty, you next." Said Jessie.
Misty gave it her all, especially on Ash.
"Rachel... with the experience... you last."
Rachel half-heartedly kissed all three guys.
"Turn in your votes, fellows... WHAT! I'm in last, and that BRAT Misty is TIED with that BIG-SHOT Rachel!" Screamed Jessie.
"How is dere a tie with 3 people votin'?" Asked Meowth, suddenly going back to gangster dialect.
"ALL THREE OF THOSE MORONS VOTED FOR BOTH OF THEM AS FIRST PLACE!" Shouted Jessie. She was upset. It's like Michelle Kwan in the 1998 Olympics, she was perfect at what she did, but the other two did perfect on something much, much better.
"Huh?" Said Rachel. She was totally spaced out, mainly because she was in a spacey, sleepy mood.
"Sorry, Jess! Don't hit me! You said to vote honestly!" Said James.
"Then I change my vote." With a flourish, she changed it from James in second to James in third.
"Wha...?" Rachel again.
"SNAP OUT OF IT!" Yelled Misty.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Anyway, we all are going to stop standing around and just hang out until I ask Brock to whip some dinner out of that backpack of his." Said Rachel.
"You called me by my real name!" exclaimed Brock
"YOU STOPPED USING THE DIALECT!" Shouted Misty, rejoicing.
"Yeah... I talk like a human being, in real life, when I'm tired." Said Rachel.
"Hey, what'd I miss?" Said Ash.
"Where were you? Asked Arty, who isn't getting enough screen time.
"The... the... the potty."
"How is that embarrassing?" Asked Rachel, with scorn and disbelief on her face.
"I dunno... hey is it suddenly that time of the month?" Asked Ash suddenly.
"NO THAT'S THE RESULT OF HER STAYING AWAKE FOR THE WHOLE TIME SINCE TOBY WAS GRABBED OUT OF THE PATH! AND THEN AFTER THAT, WHEN I SCREWED UP THE PLAN AND THEY GOT TOBY!" Yelled Brock.
"It's not your fault Brock, stop yelling." Said Misty.
Rachel frowned, as if making a decision. "Brock-o. J's. GO AWAY FROM THE GYM TILL I CALL YOU GUYS BACK," She yelled. "As for Ashton and Mistara... you kids are gonna learn about the Internet."
"Okay..." They both said at once. "Hey! Don't call me by my real name!" They said, again simultaneously.
Brock and the J's scurried out. Ash, Misty and Rachel ambled over to the computers.
"Being how both of you are famous for Pokémon stuff, you both have websites. To inflate your egos, read 'em." Rachel said, sitting them down at computers that had yahoo search results on them.
On the screens, there were 756 Ash sites and 453 Misty sites. Their egos swelled immensely as Ash, the (quote unquote) cute Pokémon master from Pallet and Misty, the (quote unquote) lovely water trainer from Cerulean read a bunch of wanna-be Pokémon trainers descriptions of themselves.
An hour or two later, they both stumbled upon the same site. It seemed to be a Pokémon site that talked about ALL the famous trainers. There was a page, however, that had poll results as to which famous Pokémon trainers would make good couples. This was quite a long time ago, this poll, 4 months.
Being old, the poll had Rachel and Toby (Misty held back a sob); Brock was voted to be best 'swinging single' all his life (Ash held back a chuckle); Gary Oak and Jezzele, Duplica and A.J., a couple more, and then, what made them want to kill the owner of the site, ASH AND MISTY.
"WHAT! WHO'S THE WISE-GUY WHO MADE THIS PAGE!" Yelled both of them at once. Now it was Rachel's turn to hold back a chuckle.
"Dudes, this is my website and all, but this is the Pokémon training fans of the Internet's decision. I hadn't even met'cha when this came out, Ash. The only thing I voted for was Duplica and A.J., Gary and Jezzele, Brock staying outta people's hair, and me and the Tobster." She flashed 'em a weak grin.
Ash and Misty glowered at her, then realized they were standing right (I mean RIGHT) next to each other (a la the team rocket motto stances). They jumped away immediately.
"Dudes, that was funny! YO, BROCK-O!" Called Rachel.
Doing his best Lurch imitation, Brock said "You screeched?"
"Yeah... that was a bad imitation of Lurch. Anyway, you remember this site me, you, and Tobzilla made? The one where you were a 'swingin' single'?"
"Oh yeah... I thought it was really funny that Ash and Misty got a lotta votes. I thought it was just my disillusionment that made their annoying bickering sound like a married couple." Said Brock, shielding himself from a weapon.
"Ohh, big words." Said Rachel, pulling an apple out of her pocket and starting to eat it.
Misty started to reach for a weapon, then realized it was gone. "WHO TOOK MY WEAPONS!" She yelled.
In Fuchsia City, Koga was being challenged by and opponent. Suddenly, clear as day, he heard a semi-familiar voice screaming "WHO TOOK MY WEAPONS!"
So, you can see that in that room, Ash, Brock, and Rachel almost broke their eardrums. "MISTY! Relax, willya? I mean, I found your mallet on da floor after da kissing contest." Said Rachel, handing her the mallet in the format it's in whenever it's out of Misty's back pocket.
Ash, however, wasn't sure whether to laugh at Misty's over-excitement or to kill Brock for putting Ash and Misty on Rachel's poll.
Meowth, who somehow had snuck in, laughed about the whole thing.
Ash decided to laugh, and kill Brock another time, like after he makes one more comment.
"What are you laughing at, Mr. um... um..." Misty struggled for an insult.
"How about Mr. Bike Stealer?" Suggested Rachel, slowly eating an apple.
"Yeah!" Cried Misty.
"Hey, toss me an apple?" Asked Brock.
"Me too! Come'n! Ya can't forget Meowth!" Said Meowth.
Rachel tossed them both apples. "Here ya go, dudes. Enjoy."
Ash and Misty were bickering about whether or not Ash had to pay the inflation on the price of bikes from the last 10 years, or just pay the price from 10 years ago.
"Brock-o, I finally understand what ya mean by da endless lover's spat." Said Rachel.
"Ya know, dere almost as bad as Jessie and James." Said Meowth.
"You do realize the both of you have practically the same dialect?" Said Brock.
"Ya know, your right, Brock-o, boy!" Said Rachel.
Meowth, Brock, and Rachel made small talk like that for a while.
5 hours later... "MR. Pokémon Master, Bike stealer, still can't beat A.J... JUST GIVE ME A F**KING BIKE!"
"I TOLD YOU ALREADY, MISS Runt! I'll pay you the cost of a bike---10 years ago!"
"Listen, dudes, hate ta interrupt yer lover's spat, but it's time ta sleep." Rachel said, having eaten at least 15 apples. Brock and Meowth had left to go to sleep long ago, but this was Rachel's first encounter with any lover's spats and stayed to watch more.
Ash and Misty looked at Rachel, then at each other, then at themselves. Both blushed, then realizing that for five hours they had been insulting each other, laughed, and respectively went to their rooms.
"Dat's funny. They didn't scold me fer callin' it a damn lover's spat. Either it's just me, or they're done wit denial. Dat's good. De Nile, after all, is just a river in Egypt." And with that, Rachel went to sleep.
Authors Note: Well... relax, everybody. If you've read this far, e-mail me and I'll send you a prize.