Chapter 1: A Day in Nerima
Ranma woke up in the most unusual of all places. Actually, it was kind of common for
Ranma. It was sticking through the floor of his bed room with his head on the ceiling of the
bottom room.
"Hey," he called. "Somebody get me out!" Ranma was freed, but not the way he would have
liked. Something slammed into him from behind and sent him crashing into the kitchen.
"Oh, good morning, Ranma," Kasumi said without looking up from her cooking. "I'm
surprised to see you up on the first day of summer vacation."
"Not like I had a choice," Ranma replied as he got up and dusted himself off. "Somebody
wanted to make me one-with-the floor." It was then that the 'somebody' a.k.a. Akane came
barreling down the stairs and hit Ranma with her mallet.
"Ranma, you jerk," Akane insulted.
"What did I do now?" Ranma moaned from the floor.
"Ranma, how could you sneak out to Ukyo's even after the lunch I made for you?"
"Apparently, not well enough to catch your eye," Ranma came back. The mallet came around
again and slammed Ranma's head.
Ranma had no choice when it came to lunch. It was either face Akane's wrath or die from
food poisoning. And he has faced Akane's wrath before. Many times. But Ranma was beginning
to wonder if this was all worth it.
Ranma was a kid who just couldn't get luck on his side. First of all, his father drags
him on this training voyage vowing to "make a man out of him or die trying."
But several things happened. First (and in Ranma's opinion the worse), was arriving at
the Jusenkyo Springs which are cursed. Ranma and his father, Genma kicked each other into
separate pools. The legend of the springs say that whoever falls into them would take the form
of whoever drowned in them a thousand years ago when triggered by cold water. Genma fell into
"Spring of Drowned Panda." But Ranma fell into "Spring of Drowned Girl." So now, whenever
Ranma touches cold water, he becomes his cursed self. Hot water reverses the curse but only
until the next time they come in contact with cold water.
Another bad event was again, a result of Genma. He promised his old friend, Soun Tendo
that Ranma would marry one of his three daughters. Either Akane, Kasumi, or Nabiki. It was
the decision that Akane was to marry Ranma (Ranma wanted to believe that it was because they
were the same age but that was not true. It was actually because Akane hated boys and Ranma
was both a boy and a girl.). That didn't please either of the "couple."
The list goes on. Ranma actually ends up with two more fiancées, a psychopathic admirer.
A sword-swinging-Shakespearean-speaking-psychopath has taken a like to his female side, an old
school-mate wants to destroy him. And almost everybody else in Nerima is trying to either
marry him or murder him or both.
Ranma would think that one would get used to this commotion after a while but he still
wasn't used to it. Even when Soun and Genma's perverted master, Happosai came to live with
them and Ryouga began spending time with Akane in his cursed form, a black piglet who Akane
calls P-Chan, did Ranma have trouble adjusting.
Ranma was currently having another problem. He wanted to start out his summer vacation
doing something fun but it was hard when Akane was pestering him all over the place.
"You know, Ranma," Akane said as she followed him back upstairs. "I'm actually trying to
make a best of a bad situation. This whole getting engaged thing."
"Uh-huh," Ranma replied without even hearing her.
"You and I both know that we're not going to get married. And we both know that we don't
like each other. But we have to pretend to get along so our parents won't go nuts."
"I agree with you on the first two."
"Because if we don't satisfy them, they'll just keep bugging us for the rest of our
lives."
"I've handled my old man's bugging before."
"I don't believe you, Ranma. You're acting like this is any normal day."
"In Nerima, it is." During this conversation, Akane followed Ranma into his room. Ranma
crashed onto his bed and drew the covers up around his head.
Akane sighed frusteratedly. "You're impossible!"
"That's what everybody says." Akane growled and stormed out of the room. Ranma thought
he was safe from the chaos and pandemonium of Nerima life in his nice, warm bed.
He was wrong.
Dead wrong.
A katana sword landed right between Ranma's legs near the crotch.
"Oh no," Ranma groaned. Only one person would use swords as a calling card. Tatewaki
Kuno, "The Blue Thunder of Furikan High" and one of Ranma's official pain-in-the-neck-enemies.
"Kuno, I don't want to fight you today," Ranma said from underneath the covers.
"Wake up, Saotome," Kuno ordered. "It is time for you to die!"
"No, it's time for me to sleep," Ranma came back. Kuno let out a roar of fury, took his
bokken and sliced Ranma's pillow to nothing.
"All right, that's it," Ranma said finally ticked off. Kuno shouting threats is one
thing. But when he destroys Ranma's only source of comfort, that was the final straw.
Ranma flipped into the air, turned, and landed a volley of punches to Kuno's chest.
The swordsman fell out of Ranma's room.
Ranma picked up Kuno's fallen form and brought it downstairs. In the living room, Genma
and Soun were playing Shogi while Akane and Nabiki were watching television.
"Don't mind me," Ranma called as he passed the group. "I'm just taking out the trash."
Ranma threw Kuno into the koi pond in the courtyard of the Tendo's home.
Ranma was back in bed with a new pillow from the linens closet and was just about to fall
asleep when the wall behind him caved in and Ranma was staring at Shampoo's wide-eyed face.
"Nihao, Ranma!" Shampoo greeted. "Shampoo bring breakfast."
"I'm not hungry right now, Shampoo," Ranma replied.
"Of course he's not," a voice from behind Shampoo called. "At least not for the crap
you're giving him." Ranma knew that voice anywhere. It was Ukyou Kunoji, Oknomiyaki Cook and
a member of the "Ranma's Fiancée" club of at which there were about four members. Five if you
count the occasional passer-by.
"Spatula Girl no worthy of bringing food to Ranma," Shampoo argued.
"I'm more worthy than you." Now anyone else would love to see a cat fight between two
beautiful girls. Even more happy if the fight was over him. But everyone has their limits and
Ranma's were reached a long time ago.
"Look," Ranma said putting a hand on each girl's shoulder. "As much as I would love to
see the two of you fight to the death, Soun generally doesn't like people trashing his house.
So why don't you two find some place a little more out-of-the-way to settle this."
"Ranma's right," Ukyou said with an evil glare at Shampoo. "The forest. An hour."
"Agreed," Shampoo said. And with those words said, the girls took off in opposite
directions.
Ranma got back into his bed and was just about asleep (again) when the covers were pulled
out from over him and he was staring into a coke-bottle-glasses-wearing face.
"Shampoo went that way, Mousse," Ranma said dryly indicating the direction Shampoo took
off in. Ranma knew Mousse's usual lines. "Shampoo is mine." "What have you done to Shampoo?"
Instead, he said "You're lucky, Ranma. I'm more interested on making Shampoo mine than
destroying you!"
"Lucky me," Ranma moaned. Mousse dropped Ranma onto his bed and took off after Shampoo.
Ranma was just about asleep (again) when two pairs of feet ran right over him and a bra
dropped on his head.
"Sorry, Ranma," Stephen Edwards, the "Ki-Master" called. He was busy chasing Happosai
for stealing a woman's underwear.
Happosai whooped and took off through the hole Shampoo made. Ki-Master followed, forming
a glider out of pure ki energy.
Ranma had had enough. There was only one person who hadn't pay him a visit. Ryouga
Hibiki. Ranma hoped he was on the moon or someplace far.
No such luck.
"YEEEOOOWWWWWWWW!" Ranma leaped up as something bit him on the butt. Ranma turned to
see P-Chan, a.k.a. Ryouga glaring at him.
"Why you..." But P-Chan was much faster. It leaped onto Ranma and started biting and
scratching his face.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Akane rushed in and saw the two at it.
"Ranma," she called. "What are you doing to P-Chan?"
"What am I doing to him?" Ranma whined as P-Chan scored another direct hit to Ranma's
face. "He's the one trying to scratch me to death!" Akane picked up P-Chan and stroked his
back.
"Honestly, Ranma. Picking on people like Ryouga and Kuno is one thing. But to harm a
helpless little pig, that's just plain low."
"Now hold on. He was harming me!"
"Oh, sure. There you go again, Ranma. Blaming others for your faults." Ranma's jaw
dropped.
"Now listen you uncute tomboy..."
BLAM.
Ranma suddenly found himself sporting a shiner as a result of Akane's fist.
POW.
Ranma suddenly found himself sticking through the floor again.
SPLASH.
Ranma suddenly found himself in female form. Since his female body was too small for the
hole to support, he fell downstairs.
"I wish you two wouldn't destroy the house all the time," Nabiki said. "I really hate
negotiating with the contractor."
"At least you're not a participant," Ranma-chan replied. Coming to a decision, Ranma got
up and went out the door.
"Where are you going, boy," Genma asked as Ranma stomped through the living room.
"The forest."
"Ah. Training in the wild."
"No. Sleeping. And it's more wild in here than it is out there." Genma and Soun just
looked at each other and shrugged.
Ranma woke up in the most unusual of all places. Actually, it was kind of common for
Ranma. It was sticking through the floor of his bed room with his head on the ceiling of the
bottom room.
"Hey," he called. "Somebody get me out!" Ranma was freed, but not the way he would have
liked. Something slammed into him from behind and sent him crashing into the kitchen.
"Oh, good morning, Ranma," Kasumi said without looking up from her cooking. "I'm
surprised to see you up on the first day of summer vacation."
"Not like I had a choice," Ranma replied as he got up and dusted himself off. "Somebody
wanted to make me one-with-the floor." It was then that the 'somebody' a.k.a. Akane came
barreling down the stairs and hit Ranma with her mallet.
"Ranma, you jerk," Akane insulted.
"What did I do now?" Ranma moaned from the floor.
"Ranma, how could you sneak out to Ukyo's even after the lunch I made for you?"
"Apparently, not well enough to catch your eye," Ranma came back. The mallet came around
again and slammed Ranma's head.
Ranma had no choice when it came to lunch. It was either face Akane's wrath or die from
food poisoning. And he has faced Akane's wrath before. Many times. But Ranma was beginning
to wonder if this was all worth it.
Ranma was a kid who just couldn't get luck on his side. First of all, his father drags
him on this training voyage vowing to "make a man out of him or die trying."
But several things happened. First (and in Ranma's opinion the worse), was arriving at
the Jusenkyo Springs which are cursed. Ranma and his father, Genma kicked each other into
separate pools. The legend of the springs say that whoever falls into them would take the form
of whoever drowned in them a thousand years ago when triggered by cold water. Genma fell into
"Spring of Drowned Panda." But Ranma fell into "Spring of Drowned Girl." So now, whenever
Ranma touches cold water, he becomes his cursed self. Hot water reverses the curse but only
until the next time they come in contact with cold water.
Another bad event was again, a result of Genma. He promised his old friend, Soun Tendo
that Ranma would marry one of his three daughters. Either Akane, Kasumi, or Nabiki. It was
the decision that Akane was to marry Ranma (Ranma wanted to believe that it was because they
were the same age but that was not true. It was actually because Akane hated boys and Ranma
was both a boy and a girl.). That didn't please either of the "couple."
The list goes on. Ranma actually ends up with two more fiancées, a psychopathic admirer.
A sword-swinging-Shakespearean-speaking-psychopath has taken a like to his female side, an old
school-mate wants to destroy him. And almost everybody else in Nerima is trying to either
marry him or murder him or both.
Ranma would think that one would get used to this commotion after a while but he still
wasn't used to it. Even when Soun and Genma's perverted master, Happosai came to live with
them and Ryouga began spending time with Akane in his cursed form, a black piglet who Akane
calls P-Chan, did Ranma have trouble adjusting.
Ranma was currently having another problem. He wanted to start out his summer vacation
doing something fun but it was hard when Akane was pestering him all over the place.
"You know, Ranma," Akane said as she followed him back upstairs. "I'm actually trying to
make a best of a bad situation. This whole getting engaged thing."
"Uh-huh," Ranma replied without even hearing her.
"You and I both know that we're not going to get married. And we both know that we don't
like each other. But we have to pretend to get along so our parents won't go nuts."
"I agree with you on the first two."
"Because if we don't satisfy them, they'll just keep bugging us for the rest of our
lives."
"I've handled my old man's bugging before."
"I don't believe you, Ranma. You're acting like this is any normal day."
"In Nerima, it is." During this conversation, Akane followed Ranma into his room. Ranma
crashed onto his bed and drew the covers up around his head.
Akane sighed frusteratedly. "You're impossible!"
"That's what everybody says." Akane growled and stormed out of the room. Ranma thought
he was safe from the chaos and pandemonium of Nerima life in his nice, warm bed.
He was wrong.
Dead wrong.
A katana sword landed right between Ranma's legs near the crotch.
"Oh no," Ranma groaned. Only one person would use swords as a calling card. Tatewaki
Kuno, "The Blue Thunder of Furikan High" and one of Ranma's official pain-in-the-neck-enemies.
"Kuno, I don't want to fight you today," Ranma said from underneath the covers.
"Wake up, Saotome," Kuno ordered. "It is time for you to die!"
"No, it's time for me to sleep," Ranma came back. Kuno let out a roar of fury, took his
bokken and sliced Ranma's pillow to nothing.
"All right, that's it," Ranma said finally ticked off. Kuno shouting threats is one
thing. But when he destroys Ranma's only source of comfort, that was the final straw.
Ranma flipped into the air, turned, and landed a volley of punches to Kuno's chest.
The swordsman fell out of Ranma's room.
Ranma picked up Kuno's fallen form and brought it downstairs. In the living room, Genma
and Soun were playing Shogi while Akane and Nabiki were watching television.
"Don't mind me," Ranma called as he passed the group. "I'm just taking out the trash."
Ranma threw Kuno into the koi pond in the courtyard of the Tendo's home.
Ranma was back in bed with a new pillow from the linens closet and was just about to fall
asleep when the wall behind him caved in and Ranma was staring at Shampoo's wide-eyed face.
"Nihao, Ranma!" Shampoo greeted. "Shampoo bring breakfast."
"I'm not hungry right now, Shampoo," Ranma replied.
"Of course he's not," a voice from behind Shampoo called. "At least not for the crap
you're giving him." Ranma knew that voice anywhere. It was Ukyou Kunoji, Oknomiyaki Cook and
a member of the "Ranma's Fiancée" club of at which there were about four members. Five if you
count the occasional passer-by.
"Spatula Girl no worthy of bringing food to Ranma," Shampoo argued.
"I'm more worthy than you." Now anyone else would love to see a cat fight between two
beautiful girls. Even more happy if the fight was over him. But everyone has their limits and
Ranma's were reached a long time ago.
"Look," Ranma said putting a hand on each girl's shoulder. "As much as I would love to
see the two of you fight to the death, Soun generally doesn't like people trashing his house.
So why don't you two find some place a little more out-of-the-way to settle this."
"Ranma's right," Ukyou said with an evil glare at Shampoo. "The forest. An hour."
"Agreed," Shampoo said. And with those words said, the girls took off in opposite
directions.
Ranma got back into his bed and was just about asleep (again) when the covers were pulled
out from over him and he was staring into a coke-bottle-glasses-wearing face.
"Shampoo went that way, Mousse," Ranma said dryly indicating the direction Shampoo took
off in. Ranma knew Mousse's usual lines. "Shampoo is mine." "What have you done to Shampoo?"
Instead, he said "You're lucky, Ranma. I'm more interested on making Shampoo mine than
destroying you!"
"Lucky me," Ranma moaned. Mousse dropped Ranma onto his bed and took off after Shampoo.
Ranma was just about asleep (again) when two pairs of feet ran right over him and a bra
dropped on his head.
"Sorry, Ranma," Stephen Edwards, the "Ki-Master" called. He was busy chasing Happosai
for stealing a woman's underwear.
Happosai whooped and took off through the hole Shampoo made. Ki-Master followed, forming
a glider out of pure ki energy.
Ranma had had enough. There was only one person who hadn't pay him a visit. Ryouga
Hibiki. Ranma hoped he was on the moon or someplace far.
No such luck.
"YEEEOOOWWWWWWWW!" Ranma leaped up as something bit him on the butt. Ranma turned to
see P-Chan, a.k.a. Ryouga glaring at him.
"Why you..." But P-Chan was much faster. It leaped onto Ranma and started biting and
scratching his face.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Akane rushed in and saw the two at it.
"Ranma," she called. "What are you doing to P-Chan?"
"What am I doing to him?" Ranma whined as P-Chan scored another direct hit to Ranma's
face. "He's the one trying to scratch me to death!" Akane picked up P-Chan and stroked his
back.
"Honestly, Ranma. Picking on people like Ryouga and Kuno is one thing. But to harm a
helpless little pig, that's just plain low."
"Now hold on. He was harming me!"
"Oh, sure. There you go again, Ranma. Blaming others for your faults." Ranma's jaw
dropped.
"Now listen you uncute tomboy..."
BLAM.
Ranma suddenly found himself sporting a shiner as a result of Akane's fist.
POW.
Ranma suddenly found himself sticking through the floor again.
SPLASH.
Ranma suddenly found himself in female form. Since his female body was too small for the
hole to support, he fell downstairs.
"I wish you two wouldn't destroy the house all the time," Nabiki said. "I really hate
negotiating with the contractor."
"At least you're not a participant," Ranma-chan replied. Coming to a decision, Ranma got
up and went out the door.
"Where are you going, boy," Genma asked as Ranma stomped through the living room.
"The forest."
"Ah. Training in the wild."
"No. Sleeping. And it's more wild in here than it is out there." Genma and Soun just
looked at each other and shrugged.