…And this is the *ta-dah!* resolution! Bringing another incredibly sappy fic to a close…
Part Three. From Yamato's point of view. Picks up right where the previous part left off and wraps it right up. People looking for the meaning of life in this fic, it's amazing you've stayed so long. It's just a cotton-candy little ficcy written to alleviate exam stress. Better luck with Kimeru.
Soshite…Promise
[From the eyes of Yamato]
By Djinn
Even as I cursed mildly at the bushes and branches, my own words of not more than five minutes ago keep echoing in my mind.
"I love him. I love Jyou."
I can't keep away the smile that crosses my face at that thought. With that one confession, that one line, I had sorted out the troubled feelings that had plagued my mind and heart for longer than I cared to consider…ever since he started becoming more than a friend in my deepest secrets.
Oh, he worried too much, that was true, but he was braver than he let on, and we knew it. And he was always almost certainly sweet, in that awkward, gawky way of his. I don't know what it was that first led me to notice his strange, unnameable quality…perhaps it was the responsibility that we shared, that undeniable feeling that we were in charge of the others' well-being, their very survival.
The same undeniable feeling that led to quiet, understanding gazes when trouble knocked and barged in uninvited…it wasn't long before I started seeing a different meaning in that gaze.
And apparently, it wasn't just all my imagination and overheated desires.
I had never dared to probe my distressed emotions, afraid to consider that it might be true, that I might have fallen in love with one I could never have. Oh, it was easy to ignore my heart. I was so used to being alone, I almost never thought about companionship – and perhaps something more lasting – anymore.
But if he loved me too…
I sighed, almost involuntarily, not knowing how to feel about the sudden fear-excitement that rose in my throat. Love was such a muddled-up thing.
But I had to find him, and tell him. That much I knew.
Of course, the finding was the hard part.
I swore again as I pushed through the umpteenth shrub that blocked my way. Who'd have thought that a forest could have so many different hidden clearings and so many damned trees?
Then my words were stopped short as I emerged from the bushes – to be confronted by the breathtaking blue of the shoreline…and the even more breathtaking blue of his hair.
Well, the finding was over…and it wasn't the hard part.
This was.
He'd looked up at my unannounced arrival, and for a second I had seen a flash of – something – in his eyes. Fear? Hurt? Grief? I couldn't tell. The dead, empty look that had haunted me for the better part of the past day had claimed him again. He stared at me with that soul-less gaze for a few moments, then turned it back to the lake.
"Jyou…" I went forward, went to him. He didn't turn.
"Please. Don't." His voice was soft, not really a whisper, but almost. It sounded just as dead as his gaze…Was I the one who did this to him?
I suppose so.
"I know what you're going to say. Don't. It'll only hurt."
Ah. At least his words still held the feeling his voice did not…even if it wasn't what I wanted him to feel.
"Jyou, please," I urged, "Stand up. Look at me. I have to tell you –"
"Tell me what? You don't have to say you're sorry," he had done as I said, his dead eyes staring into mine even as his words cut me off, "I do."
I got mad. I couldn't help myself. That dead, dead voice echoed in my ears, the dead gaze in my eyes, I got mad. And I'm not even sure at who.
I grabbed his wrist, ignoring the brief flash of pain that passed into the eyes.
"Listen to me, dammit!" I shouted, "Why can't you listen to me?! Just let me finish what I'll have to say?! What makes you think I'll hate you, anyway?! Am I really that shallow?! 'Cause, dammit, Jyou, I love you! I –"
My words faded away as I realised he was really crying now, not just tears in his eyes, but wretched, shaking sobs that wracked his frame; his other hand had gone up to his face, over his eyes, his glasses now upon the sand. I let go of his wrist in shock, and he slid down to the ground, never stopping his weeping.
I stared at him, feeling helpless and awkward as his heart-breaking cries echoed across the lake.
"Um. I thought you'd be pleased that I said that."
The sobbing suddenly diminished, and I was taken aback when he said, "Wait. What did you say?"
Huh?
He didn't hear me?
"Uh, I said I love you."
The crying stopped altogether. There was a moment of silence.
"You said you love me?"
"Uh huh."
"…You love me?"
"Yes, that's what I said. Thrice."
He lowered his hands from his face.
"I went through all that and now you're telling me you love me?"
I was starting to get a bit annoyed.
"Yes. Would you rather I say no?"
"No!" He said, just a little too hastily, "I mean…oh."
Then all of a sudden, his head went back into his hands and he started crying again.
"Oh, great. Now what?"
"N-nothing," He choked out, "I'm just…too happy, that's all."
I shook my head, not knowing whether to laugh, or to cry as well. Instead, I knelt down beside him, gently brought his head up to face me.
"Don't cry…it hurts to see you cry."
I smiled, drinking in the sight of him with his tear-stained cheeks, his large eyes glittering in the light of the soon-setting sun…realised that, for the first time, I could actually see his eyes. I had always assumed they were black, behind those thick lenses of his, but they were really a deep, dark midnight blue…and utterly beautiful.*
Then he was speaking, and I tried to pretend that I hadn't missed his first few words staring at his eyes.
"…still can't believe it…Yama-kun…I'm just so afraid it's all a dream…"
"It's not a dream," I said earnestly, I didn't need to hear everything to know what he was trying to say. "I promise –"
"Don't. Don't promise…I've had enough of promises for a while."
"Oh?" I smiled again, "Then what do you want me to do?"
"Just…just kiss me," His eyes were wide, he was blushing at his own forwardness.
I complied, leaning down to capture his soft, sweet lips beneath mine, gently but firmly nudging my tongue past his teeth, exploring his mouth with slow, lazy strokes…
When we finally parted, his breathing was erratic, a charming wild-eyed look in his dark orbs. When he spoke, he was breathless, struggling to get the right words out.
"Oh. That…that was good. And then…"
He calmed down, smiled at me with a roguish look in his eyes.
"…And then…promise."
"I promise." I grinned. Then I pushed him down onto the sand and kissed him again…and then, there just wasn't much left to say.
It was night when we returned to the campsite, together, my arm around him. His head was down, and he quite refused to look at anything but the ground…but there was a small smile on his face, and I guess everything was okay.
The first thing that greeted us was Sora's anxious face.
Sora…I suppose, in a way, we owe this all to her.
I grinned at her, winked, and turned to kiss him on the cheek. He blushed – and the smile grew wider.
"I love you." I whispered just before we stepped into the light thrown from the flickering flames.
He nodded tightly, still refusing to look at me. I caught a slight "Me too", and that was enough to last me forever.
We stepped into the light together, returning to the others, for the first time since that fateful incident, whole and alive – and more, now that we had each other.
And it was going to be that way from now on, forever.
…I promise.
END
*…Well, at least that's what I'd like to believe…