In Which We Find Our Immortality
Chapter 12: Truth Within a Glass Heart
The park near the East Boundary was not much more than a large, empty field. There was an occasional picnic table, a baseball field's backstop, and lines pained in the spring for soccer, and nothing else. In the distance could be seen the towering gates of Rocket City: solid steel over twenty feet tall. Mots of the metal had been excavated from the old Junon Base, with great difficulty. The steel palisade had been the work of the former president, and was still admired for its effectiveness in keeping the local wildlife away. East Boundary was one of only four doors that lead outside the city, and heavily guarded due to its position facing the Nibel mountains.
It was here that Collin told what he knew to Tess and her friends, seated in the shade of a towering oak. The morning breeze enhanced the shivers his tale provoked in them. His audience listened, hushed and attentive, from when he'd first met Cloud to the occurrences at his house that morning. Rajiel and Alex exchanged a worried glance at the mentioning of the Dragons.
"So, that's everything?" asked Tess once he'd fallen silent. "Jenova is inside you, but you can control it, right?"
"I'm not sure I can consciously control it," the boy admitted. "But I've lived pretty peacefully until now—no deep fears or enemies."
"Not even Sephiroth?" asked Alex warily.
Collin shook his head. He'd anticipated that, and he knew the answer. "I'm not Sephiroth. I have some of his memories, probably from Jenova, but that's it. I didn't recall anything until my father came."
"What about your recurring dream?"
"I'm…not sure." That was the one piece of the puzzle that didn't fit. He'd had that dream with slain woman since he was a child, before he knew of Cloud Strife or Sephiroth. The scene reminded him of when the Flower-Seller was murdered by Sephiroth—but how could he possess such knowledge if he wasn't Sephiroth?
"But I'm not Sephiroth," Collin repeated firmly. "If I was, wouldn't it have shown up sooner?"
Tess's friends considered this. "If you were," Rajiel said quietly, "it would explain the dream as being a memory. Maybe that's why you dislike the Flower-Seller, and why you fear Cloud Strife." She stopped, looking nervous, as if he would be upset.
"That doesn't mean anything," Tess reasoned in the boy's defense. "Him thinking that he's Sephiroth could cause all that. There's no proof, either way."
Collin nodded thoughtfully, grateful for Tess's intervention. He could tell by now that Rajiel feared him—being raised in Cosmo Canyon, she most likely would have been well-versed in the horror stories of Jenova. He couldn't blame her for that, but he didn't like it, either. He wanted these people—these friends—to be on his side.
"Anyway," Tess continued, changing the subject, "we did some research, too. It wasn't much—we didn't find anything really helpful. But we talked to my dad about Vincent."
"Vincent?" Collin echoed curiously. "What did you find?"
Amber took over, pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket that had been scribbled with notes. "He used to work for Shinra, as something called a 'Turk.' He joined Cloud's group in order to kill some guy named Hojo."
"The scientist," Tess interjected. "Who created Sephiroth. We—my Dad—thinks that maybe Hojo somehow was responsible for Vincent having Jenova."
"Anyway, Vincent could transform into a monster everyone called 'Chaos.' Though he usually transformed when he was pissed, supposedly he could control it, too."
"Consciously?" Collin asked eagerly.
"Yeah." Amber shrugged. "Supposedly."
"Don't get any ideas," Alex warned.
Collin pursed his lips, considering this information. I want to learn to control it he thought, keeping his thoughts rational and clear. Jenova isn't evil—the people who've used it were. If I can use it wisely… I have to try.
He climbed to his feet and removed the light-blue T-shirt he'd been wearing. "Collin?" Tess gazed up at him with concern. "You're not going to—"
"I have to try." Collin smiled grimly, stretching his arm and back muscles. "I'm stuck with this thing; I have to learn to live with it, or I'll end up just like my father. I don't want that."
"Be careful," Alex advised. "There's no telling what will happen." He motioned for the three girls to back away, and they do so obediently. Rajiel kept close to him, her eyes wide in apprehension. Tess and Amber were calmer, watching seriously. Tess bit her lip.
Collin closed his eyes. He forced himself to remember the day before at the theater. His skin began to tingle. He remembered the tearing, ripping feeling of the wing as it stretched from his flesh, and the fire in his veins. He recalled the color and texture of the feathers that had slapped against his face. All his focus he placed on those memories, that one terrifying instant.
Pain seared his back, and from his skin the new appendage began to form. Collin sank to his hands and knees, gasping at the intensity of his anguish. For several long moments he couldn't see past the blazing, emerald screen before his eyes. The wing flexed and spread, and his muscles began to cramp. It twitched randomly and grew numb; though he was thankful for that release, he loathed not being able to control the limb.
"Collin?" Tess was kneeling beside him, her eyes wide with concern and anxiety. Her hands hesitantly touched his shoulders. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm okay." Collin met her gaze, but her face was smeared by the green light. He closed his eyes, concentrated on relaxing his ill ease, and looked again. Gradually the impediment began to fade. He grinned in triumph. I can control it.
"Collin?"
"Really, I'm fine. But I don't like black feathers." Collin closed his eyes once more and focused on the wing. Don't think about last time he instructed himself. That was Cloud's influence. You're not Sephiroth—you're better than him.
Tess and the others gasped, testimony to that his efforts were working. Feeling returned to his new wing, and for a moment his head spun as his brain scrambled to interpret the unfamiliar stimuli. The discomfort passed quickly, and he became aware of several soft objects brushing his cheek. He opened his eyes and found himself flanked on one side by a pile of wife black feathers.
Collin laughed out loud. "Ha! I did it. Look!" He stretched his wing out in front of him. The appendage was now cloaked in smooth, translucent skin—like thick glass, stained white by frost. The shape was that of a dragon's that had been carved out of crystal, and the dull morning light filtered through it, casting kaleidoscope shapes on the earth. It was a breathtakingly beautiful sight.
Tess stared, awestruck. Her eyes were wide as he positioned the crystal shield so that the sun rays danced over her head; they changed and mingled as he flexed his wing. "You…did it," she replied in a mystified whisper, as if speaking too loudly would shatter the delicate-seeming structure. "You're beautiful."
Collin grinned shyly, though inwardly he was rejoicing at her praise. After another pause to concentrate a second wing joined the first, this time with far less pain. He tested each, spreading and folding them at first one at a time, then in unison. They moved at his subtle commands with ease; truly a part of his body. A slight modification eased their weight, and he stood with only a bit more effort than usual.
"Wow." Amber stared at him, her jaw dropped. Beside her, Alex and Rajiel were no different. They gaped in surprise at the boy's transformation.
"See?" Collin spread his arms wide, an action that was mirrored by his wings. "I'm not like Sephiroth, or Vincent, or my father. This is the real me."
Tess leapt to her feet and wrapped her arms about his neck joyously. "Collin, you were right!" she exclaimed with relief and excitement he shared. "All along. You can control it. It's…it's…"
Collin hugged her back, laughing with mirth. The glass-like sheets wrapped about them, creating a glittering cocoon of dazzling silver-and-white light. Tess laughed but grew suddenly serious, her face glowing with amazed innocence as she probed the strange surface with her fingertips. Despite their icy appearance, they were smooth like flesh, and warm. "They're wonderful," she whispered.
He smirked, and the wing she'd touched shuddered. "They're ticklish," he replied.
Both teenagers laughed; it seemed like an absurd thing to do, given their circumstances, but they couldn't help it. Tess's friends exchanged worried glances at their behavior. At last Tess stepped back, blushing in embarrassment. "Anyway," she said cheerfully, "this proves that you can control it, right?"
"Not really," Alex interrupted. Collin glared at him briefly. "Vincent could control Chaos—that doesn't mean he's 'okay.'"
"But the planet doesn't seem to consider Vincent a threat, or he'd have Dragons after him, too," Tess reasoned.
The older boy could offer no argument for this, so he merely shrugged. Though Amber looked convinced, Rajiel wasn't. She still appeared anxious and untrusting. "There's only one way to know for sure," suggested Amber. "To find out if the Dragons are still coming."
Collin pursed his lips. The most logical course of action would be to return home, or even go to Phoenix Central; that possibility rose a sick feeling in his stomach. If he went home, Cloud would be there, and somehow he didn't feel ready for that. Going to Phoenix Central frightened him even more; the memories of the scientist, Dr. Arswick, twisted his entrails in knots of apprehension. The fact that he could control his powers would make him and even more valuable test subject.
Collin flattened his wings against his back, and they disappeared once more. After a moment of readjusting his balance—he nearly toppled onto his face—he glanced about to make sure no one else had seen. The park was deserted, as it was when they'd entered. He wondered at this briefly; after all, it was summer, and the high school was out. There should have been at least a soccer game gong on….
Wait. Of course no one's here. When the Dragons come, this is the first place they'll reach. Everyone's probably in their homes.
"Weird, isn't it?" commented Tess, noticing his sweep of the park. "Nobody knew about the Dragons, did they? I didn't hear a siren."
"That's right." Collin frowned. "Broddick Matthews was the first one to mention it to us. Do you think they made some kind of report?"
"If they did," said Alex, "then the might have mentioned you." His tone was grim.
Collin nodded in understanding. In all likelihood he was now feared, if not wanted. "You all should go home," he told them. "I don't want to get you involved in something dangerous."
Tess stared. "But…what about you?"
"I'm going to find the Dragons. If I can prove to them I'm not a threat, then this will be over."
"You're crazy!" Alex exclaimed. "Do you really think you can just walk up to and talk to a Dragon? They'll kill you in half a second!"
The boy shook his head stubbornly. "Dragons don't attack people out of the blue. If I'm outside the city and not a threat, they shouldn't hurt me."
Tess stared at him, her face pale with worry at his suggested plan. "But…but how can you be sure?"
"Yeah," spoke up Amber. "I mean, your mom was killed by a Dragon, wasn't she? And Kalm never did—"
Tess elbowed her friend before she could finish. Even then it was too late—the blood had drained from Collin's face, and he gulped, startled by her words. Though he had accused his father of being a coward, in truth he wasn't ready himself to face the truth behind their shared past. Cloud had not confirmed Cid's accusations concerning his mother's death; he had not denied them, either. Until Collin knew for sure, thinking about it was too vexing. He wasn't ready to deal with it now.
And somehow, Tess knew. She came forward slowly, head slightly bowed and eyes soft. "Colin." Her voice told that she understood. "If you believe it'll work, then we trust you. But I'm coming with you."
"You're…what?"
"No!" Rajiel interjected immediately. She grabbed her friend's hand and held it tightly. "You can't. I won't let you."
"I have to," Tess insisted. "I can't let him go alone."
"You'll be killed!"
Collin could only stare as they continued to argue. She cares that much? his mind whispered. It'll be dangerous, but she wants to go with you? He shook his head. Even if her devotion delighted him, he couldn't accept such a sacrifice. "But Tess—"
"Don't argue with me," Tess interrupted firmly. "No matter what, I'm going. Even if you somehow prove you're right, who will believe you? Someone has to go with you."
Had Collin not already wanted her to go so badly, he might have protested harder. But, nervous as he was, her logic made an incredible amount of sense. He nodded. "Okay. But," he continued for her friends' sakes, "you'll stay out of sight when we get close. I don't want them to see you, just in case. You're not getting anywhere near a Dragon."
"Alright."
"Hey, hold it." Alex stepped between them, glaring at Collin in defiance. "Didn't you hear me before? We're not gonna let you put Tess in danger."
Tess crossed her arms. "If we don't go, the Dragons were come here, and the entire city will be in trouble. Now cut it out—the discussion is over." She moved to stand next to Collin, who was beaming. "I'm going. You three had better go back."
Alex ground his teeth, and just when it seemed he would continue his complaints, he relented. "Fine," he muttered. "Go on. But please, be careful." He managed to smile for Tess's sake. "You're our best performer, after all."
Tess laughed and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks, Alex. I'll be careful."
Collin stood back, a bit envious, as Tess reassured her friends one last time and passed hugs along. Though he knew Tess was his friend—and maybe more, hopefully—he'd never had friends as close as "they" seemed. He knew most of the kids at school, and he talked to those in his classes, but most of them were little more than acquaintances. Daryl, Samantha, Elly were his sisters—they were practically obligated to be nice to him. He spent most of his free time alone. But when he saw the tears in Rajiel's eyes, he began to regret those choices.
"I'm ready," said Tess, returning to Collin's side. "How do you want to do this?"
Collin blinked; he hadn't thought of a plan. "We'll have to get over the wall somehow," he murmured. "Maybe…I can fly over…?"
"And carry me, too?"
"Yeah. I mean, of course." He blushed a bit at the idea. "The gates are more to keep the monsters out. If we're flying, we should be okay." He paused. "How much do you weigh?"
Tess blushed, quickly hiding her embarrassment with her temper. "Hey, you can't ask a girl that!"
Collin shrugged. "Oh well. I'm sure I can handle it. After what Cloud did to Vincent—" He stopped himself. "Anyway, a lot of Jenova is strength." Tess's cheeks flushed red again, and he frowned, not quite understanding what he'd said. He shrugged, focusing on the task at hand. A moment of concentration pulled the crystal wings from his back once more, and he stretched them experimentally. Even after being accustomed to them for so short a time, already he felt as if they were no more cumbersome than his arms or legs. They were a part of him; the always had been.
Tess approached hesitantly, her eyes thoughtful. After considering the best way to go about their task, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "How's this?"
Collin gulped. "Fine," he said, hiding his own embarrassment. He scooped her up in his arms, one arm encircling her back and the other hooked behind her knees. She wasn't as heavy as he'd imagined. Or is it because I'm stronger than I thought? More distracting than her weight, however, was the proximity. Though it seemed ridiculous, he couldn't help but appreciate her smell: something old but sweet, like dried rose pressed between the pages of a book.
"If you're going," said Alex from a few feet away, "then you'd better go."
"Right." Collin smiled, hoping the expression didn't look as grim as it felt on his lips. "Thanks, everyone. For helping me."
Alex shrugged; Amber smiled; Rajiel only nodded and looked away. He tried not to be discouraged by her reaction. Instead he focused on his newest challenge: flight.
The task was ultimately less complicated than he'd imagined. In retrospect he would later realize that the wings were unnecessary. A bit of concentration and a lot of imagination were all it took to lift him several inches off the ground. Tess squirmed a bit, and he adjusted he weight before continuing. When they were several feet off the ground he felt the first effect of his strain: a brief nausea twisted his stomach and then was gone. He took a deep breath. "Are you sure about this?" he asked his passenger.
"Yes," Tess replied without reserve. "Let's go."
Collin smiled. His wings spread to their outmost as he turned to the east and started out.
Cloud tugged on Nu's reins, bringing the animal to a halt. They were in a small lot south of Cid's house, empty clue to the city being under alert. He was thankful to not have to deal with civilians, even if they did gawk at him from within the safety of their homes. Explaining the four and a half foot weapon he held would have proven difficult.
"What is it?" asked Marlene, still seated on the chocobo in front of him.
Cloud dismounted, setting his concealed bundle on the ground. He ignored Marlene as he began to pull various pieces of equipment out of Nu's saddlebag. First were his armlets and gloves, laden with materia, and then the heavy suspenders and shoulder armor. He didn't acknowledge Marlene's disturbed looks. Finally he removed the cloth wraps on his weapon, revealing a polished metal blade larger than any of its kind. The handle was sturdy iron wrapped in leather; the blade itself was made of an unidentifiable material that hummed softly within its master's grip. He couldn't help but admire the sword: a weapon as efficient and deadly as the creature it was forged from.
"Cloud, what's going on?" Marlene asked sharply as he hooked the Ultima Weapon to the harness on his back.
"Precaution," he grunted. Once he was fully prepared he pulled himself onto Nu's back once more. The bird grunted, shifting back and forth. "I know," Cloud soothed, having noticed several pairs of eyes watching them from a nearby house. "Don't worry—we're going."
"But to where?" insisted Marlene. "Cloud—"
Cloud turned Nu about and spurred her on. "East. If we find the Dragons, we'll find Collin," he said reasonably. And then I can finish this at last.
Marlene was silent for a moment as they sped toward the East Boundary. When she spoke at last, her voice was hesitant and soft. "Cloud, you won't hurt him, will you?"
"He is my son," he replied simply.
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