"Hey, Rach, can I ask you a question?" Asked Brock that day.
"Ya just did, Rock. I didn't use my baseball bat, did I? Shoot." Said Rachel, bored.
"Alright...when did you and Toby meet, with all this fate stuff you babble about? Misty and me were wondering." Brock said, shivering at the mention of the baseball bat.
"Yea... and what's your last name?" Asked Misty.
"Ho... you're gonna like this story." Said Rachel.
"Please, Rach, do the honors of telling them about us and Arty." Said Toby.
"Fine... but first, you need to know more about my background. I grew up here in Chalky City, right near Cerulean. The few kids in Chalky weren't really into Pokémon, except me. I loved 'em, same as my gramps, who lived in Viridian… that's a different story. Anyway, the Professor in our town, Prof. Rarity, she liked rare Pokémon, as her surname suggests. Being the only person to show up for a Pokémon at age ten and having been 'specially watched, being so good con los (with the) Pokémon, well, she gave me the only talkin' Articuno en el (in the) world."
Just then Arty interrupted "Ahem. My wife talked, but that son of a, um, gun, Gretel Oak killed her, and my children talk, wherever they are."
"Whatever. Anyway, since Cerulean was so nearby and the 12-14 year old gym leaders were known to suck, no offense to your sisters, Waters, I went there for my first badge and such.
"As luck would have it, on my way their I somehow managed to catch a Bulbasaur, a Squirtle, and a Charmander on the way there, trained them and Arty here on a copula Pidgeys, Rattatas, and some'a those trainers that only catch bugs. I was near set to defeat the three light-headed dimwits.
"Luck changed. I was greeted by a 7-year-old, contemptful redhead who turned out to be you, Waters. She told me how her sisters were gone, off to catch some-more Poké's that day, and they left the gym to their ten-year old cousin, who had just gotten his Squirtle so he was using their Pokémon. ARGH! Toby was such a good fighter he defeated Arty, his one and only ever defeat." Said Rachel, taking a breath.
"Contemptful?" Asked Misty. "How did you do it with those goddamn bad Pokémon?"
"They know some powerful attacks, but Daisy, Rose and Lily don't know that!" Said Toby.
"They were pretty..." muttered Brock.
Simultaneously Misty and Rachel hit him over the head with their respectively chosen weapons (mallet and baseball bat).
"As I was saying... I beat him anyway, with Bulbasaur. He was to go on his journey tomorrow, when the older so-called sensational sister's got back. I insisted I accompany him, as a.) he was cute, b.) he was good and c.) he was cool. So the next day, we both had cascade badges and left. How he got his, well, he stole it!
"Any way, we decided to go down south, to Pewter, before we flew on my Arty to Vermilion. Down in Pewter, we met Flint and heard his story. Interesting dude, but all Toby's water-types and Arty took care of that Golem and Onix in no-time. This is where we bring with us Brock's older sister Cassie because she was cool, too. Yo, Rock, where were you?" Asked Rachel
"Me... then? I was off in Mt. Moon, catching Geodude and Onix, and training them and my starter, a Zubat I lost years ago!" Said Brock.
"Hey, you never told 'em what your last name is!" Said Toby.
"I'll get to that. Anyway, I don't want to bore you with Lt. Surge, back then only a private, Erika and those annoying perfumes, Sabrina and the uh… I'd rather not say, Koga, Blaine, who was 100 then and god-knows-how-old now, and Gramps, Ah... oops! Giovanni."
"GIOVANNI'S YOUR GRANDPA!" yelled Misty and Brock.
"Yeah... anyway, over the year I had gotten the badges, I caught at least one of each type of pokemon in the world (as in grass, fire, electric, etc). So, anyway, in order to tell you my last name, I have to tell you this. Ever copula generations our family and the Water's get together. We and the Oak's will always be rivals, except for the nice ones like Jake (the professor). We always are the very best, that no-one ever was ((whistling the theme)) We are... The Ketchem's."
Those two words hung in silence until Misty broke it. "So you're related to ASH!"
"Yeah, cousin on my mother's side. Brock-o, dude, you know that when you were five your dad went out with a Ketchem for a bit, right?" Said Rachel.
"No... what! Wait a second, why would I care? My mom was dead for 3 months by then? ARGH!" Said Brock, confused and frustrated to death.
"You didn't know about your ½ brother who lived in Pallet?" Said Rachel, amazed.
"What! What Ketchem's live in Pallet?" Asked Misty. "Besides, you know, Ash and his parents?"
"Parent... his dad's lived in Pewter with his other kids forever. My god! Toby, did you know these people didn't know anything?" Asked Rachel.
"Not a bit, Rach. These kids are denser than your little cousin!"
"Why is Ash's surname Ketchem if his father was named Rock?" Asked Misty.
"When Flint went back to his other family, Meg---er, Ash's mom decided to cut her ex-boyfriend out of her and her son's lives---for as long as possible." Said Rachel.
"DOES THAT MEAN YOU AND I ARE RELATED?" Exploded Brock quite suddenly.
"Through marriage. We have none of the same genes, so if Toby became evil, which will never happen, you could hit on me with no bones about it." Said Rachel.
"Hey, you don't think I'm evil? But you told me..." Said Toby.
Rachel cut him off, saying "Do you really want your little cousin Misty and her/our pal Brock to hear about that?"
"Oh, yeah." Said Toby, embarrassed.
"Oh, yeah? What is it?" Said Misty, hurt by being called little.
"Miss Waters, allow me to answer that." Said Moltres-o, Rachel's talking Moltres. He whispered what Rachel and Toby were talking about in her ear, and Misty went redder than her own hair.
Brock saw Misty blush and said "Oh my god! Toby, never bring that up again in front of a single man!"
"Sorry, dude. Forgot you and little 'contemptful' Misty were here." Said Toby, grinning and dodging a copula mallet swings.
"Look at the time, Brock-o, Waters, Toby, you gotta go, I gotta re-open the gym. Bye, guys." Said Rachel.
"Bye, Rach!" Said Brock. "Hey, don't call me Brock-o!"
"Bye Rach." Said Misty, unenthusiastically.
"Bye Rach." Said Toby seductively, walking over to her and giving her a long, deep kiss on the lips.
Little did he know this would be one of the last kisses he and his precious Rachel would ever share.
Author's Note: Remember... never send me anything about the devil. She's my best friend....