And thanks to all those who responded to my last post, you gave me tons of encouragement! Muchos arigatou!
Standard disclaimers apply.
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Crash and Burn - chapter 1
by Jenn aka Rubie
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"We're giving you full warning; you should have been expecting it," the ambassador spoke arrogantly, eyeing the king with contempt, knowing full well that he would not, and could not demur.
Van nodded indifferently. "I understand."
"I warn you, break your connection now, and you might survive," he continued.
Van nodded again, but a sudden rap at the door caught the two men off guard.
"Come in."
Merle opened the heavy door to the newly rebuilt meeting house, lined with a silvery alloy. She looked at them meekly, then bowed her head in reverence.
"Van-sama, if this is not a good time--," she began.
"That's okay Merle, please come in," he stood up slowly, issuing an unspoken dismissal of the ambassador. The man glared scornfully before turning to leave. Merle remained at the doorway, unsure if her presence was welcome.
"That was about Escaflowne," her words were a statement rather than a question.
He merely smiled and patted the seat next to him. She sat down slowly and twisted uncomfortably in the metal chair. Van grinned inwardly; her body language was so obvious. He could easily predict her next statement.
"But the fate altering machine...," she began to say something, but fell silent.
"I knew it was coming. It would only take time, and Emperor Folken would be forced give way to the demands and expectations of the advisers and the sorcerers." Van explained, somewhat impassively.
He's your brother, she thought furiously, yet she knew Van-sama never considered him his brother anymore. Not since their defeat. The two talked very rarely, but when they did, they were often painfully formal.
Merle glared at her hands, wishing that she had the courage to scream. Scream at that ambassador who didn't have the right to live. Scream at Van-sama for being such a fool. And then scream at the world for betraying her children. She bit her lip, trying to contain her emotions.
"You can't let them," Merle said quietly.
But there wasn't anything he could do. He could cancel that blood pact, but something was holding him back. To remove that pact was to erase all the memories of the Great War, and Fanelia's long established tradition would be lost. All that he originally took pride in would be stripped away. He wondered if it was really worth it. To die in the hands of his brother while defending Fanelian traditions was far better than dying of old age, torn of everything that defined him. He was silent.
"Perhaps you should bring Hitomi back," Merle eyed him uncomfortably.
He smiled, "You tell me that almost everyday," he teased. "But no, it isn't necessary."
Merle shifted in her seat, unable to maintain eye contact. "She might be able to help. And you'll be happier, Van-sama."
He continued smiling, "Am I unhappy?"
Merle was silent at that, and she glanced up at his face. His ever-present smile veiled his features, and she looked away as quickly as possible. "You should stop smiling like that, Van-sama."
His smile still lingered, "Should I not smile?"
"Don't smile unless you feel like it, Van-sama."
***
Hitomi bent down to pick up her scattered books with a blank face. The group of girls giggled smugly, and Hitomi pretended to overlook them. There was really no point in turning on them with anger; they'll only taste their victory with more pleasure. Her first year of college was a pain, especially since her silent and withdrawn personality gave her no friends. To top it all off, she often came on top in her classes. And when she passed the halls, she often felt misplaced elbows jamming her in the ribs and exposed ankles caught under her feet. Her college was too small; everyone knew about her and despised her. But her apathy towards the students surprised even herself.
Yukari had long since moved to study aboard, and she rarely heard from her anymore. It was partly her own fault, she knew, because her letters that she wrote back to her best friend were short, brisk, and businesslike. She regretted it now, but trying to rebuild their friendship from scrap was far too late.
And her family... well... they're still just as supporting. Even her younger brother matured. But they noticed her silence and drew away from her as well. When they did speak to each other, the topics were always trivial and obvious.
She smiled bitterly. So this was what she's become.
She picked up her remaining text books and stuffed her scattered Psychology notes into her folder. She felt that she chose her future career well; being a psychologist suited her in many ways. But she doubted she would be a great help to anyone, since she was usually uncommunicative.
She droned slowly on the sidewalk, taking her time. She was early anyway, and there really wasn't a good reason to get to class. A strange uneasiness tugged dully at her mind, and she shook her head to clear it. But the lingering heat spread. She gasped when it burned and tore itself into the back of her mind. She dropped her textbooks, falling against a wall that was apart of classroom unfamiliar to her with a small cry of pain. A couple of students stared at her in surprise, but after recognizing who she was, they hurried off. The back of her head felt like it was being burned as an obtrusive force pushed itself into her conscience.
/Hitomi!/
/Shut up!/ She mentally cursed the voice. She didn't want it, in fact, she hated it. She wanted it to go away. She tried to block it out of her mind again, but it only aggravated the pain.
/Hitomi!/
/Merle, go away!/ Whimpering, she broke into a desperate run, seemingly with no destination in mind. She shoved her way past two startled students, her eyes clinched shut. Her foot skimmed over a pile of rocks, and she joined with the ground with a dull thud.
The scathing heat left as quickly as in had come. But Hitomi stayed on the ground, curled in a fetal position, sobbing wildly.
"Go away.... go away....," she whimpered. A group of students watched the trembling figure silently.
***
Merle fell on her back with a sharp cry. She eyed Escaflowne. It didn't work. Escaflowne rejected her too soon. She wasn't able to say anything significant to Hitomi. But the fact that she was able to make that connection surprised her. Usually, Escaflowne rejected anyone other than its operator in less than a few seconds, but lately, even Escaflowne is becoming mellowed.
Merle sighed and eyed her torn hands in disgust. Hitomi didn't want to hear her. She could feel her that time in the dim recesses of her mind, screaming and cursing. Merle noted grimly how she had changed. But Hitomi was important to Gaea, and she was sure her presence would be inspirational. Even before the Great War had ended, rumors spread that a girl from the Illusionary Moon was aiding the Fanelians against Zaibach. And another legend prophesied that her return would bring out their downfall. How typical it was for helpless people to create mystical beings that would being salvation. But how typical it was for people to rely on others.
Merle pulled herself delicately to her feet and examined the nearby alter in frustration. The sculpture of the Fanelian goddess towered almost to the ceiling, her empty, pupiless eyes dark and foreboding. Her face was a hard mask of cold unforgiveness, and Merle could feel a cold rage burn. The last time she had asked a god for help, Van-sama nearly died. There was no way she would ever bow to another god again. Gods were creations of the human heart, hungry for hope. And to place one's hopes in something created by yourself was asinine.
But placing one's hopes in another person was equally unreliable.
***
Van eyed his pile of paperwork in disgust. He picked up a new packet of papers, and began reading through it carefully. He might as well read through as much as possible before Zaibach began dismantling Escaflowne. What bothered him was that they did not give him an exact date, and it made him somewhat restless. They should just hurry up and go through with it, instead of lagging and torturing him.
He moved slowly to the tall glass windows of his room, watching the seemingly out of place shrine of Escaflowne. Zaibach had agreed to rebuild it from stone, like the original, but everything around it shone with metal. He doubted the shrine would remain stone for very long
Merle was visiting the shrine often these days, most likely pleading with the gods. He wondered how she could still be so optimistic. Fanelia had no hope left, a leaking ship with a wooden interior; the only way to save it was to tear it to pieces and float on the planks. But even then, it was necessary for another ship to let them on board, provide them with food and water. And he doubted any other countries would allow them that privilege. He was sorry that he dragged Merle with him when he sank.
A green glow brightened the room for a split second, and Van jerked up in surprise. His eyes automatically traveled to the shrine which held Escaflowne, and was shocked to see its windows fill with an eerie light. Have they begun dismantling Escaflowne? No.... he would be able to feel that by now. What's going on? In frustration, he tore his coat from its hangers and raced down the halls.
***
Hitomi lay on her dorm sofa, twisted tightly into a thick blanket. She had laid on the sidewalk for almost the entire period, when her teacher realized and found it unusual that she was missing. Then a group of students confessed that they saw her running through the school, and a few others found her textbooks. The teacher was worried and sent someone to look for her, then several took her back to her dorm shortly after the nurse proclaimed there was nothing wrong with her.
'A mental break down,' she said, 'It happens very often in top scoring students who have few friends.'
Her classmates sneered at that.
Hitomi curled tighter into a ball. She regretted having missed what Merle wanted to tell her. It must have been important, otherwise, she would not have been silent for three years. She tried to convince that she didn't care, that it didn't concern her, but she knew that she was lying to herself again. But how ironic that the person who disliked her the most would now be the first to turn to her for help.
She gripped her head in frustration and buried her face in the blankets to muffle an agonized scream. There was a lingering tug in the back of her mind again.
/Hitomi.../
"Go away!! Leave me alone!" Hitomi screamed at the whitewashed walls of her room.
/Hitomi!! Van-sama is dead!!/
A deafening silence.
/Hitomi... you know, don't you? We lost the war... and now Zaibach are going to control Fanelia directly, unless we have a ruler. I can't rule. Fanelian elders have no status in the eyes of the people. But if you come back... if you come back, the people will love you. They already loved you before... Please, Hitomi, come back... Save Fanelia, fulfill Van-sama's final wish.../
A pause, as Merle waited for her response, but Hitomi was painfully silent. She could almost hear her swallowing uncomfortably as she tried to choke back more tears. Van was dead? A strange emotion that she could not name gnawed at her heart and screamed in her mind. That's unthinkable... but then... Hitomi had to admit she didn't know. She had been trying so hard to ignore him the past three years, she didn't even know when he died. She had been running away from him, for fear that he would blame her. Hate her. Despise her.
But now he's dead, she had no more reason to run.
End of chapter 1
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uhh.. this was shorter than I planned. I didn't have this story very well
planned out when I started writing it... teaser got revised again.. Grr! I need
to get rid of that bad habit! I constantly go back to revise still I already
posted. I'll post that on fanfiction.net.
Nothing happened just yet.... GRR! back to the drawing board... is my writing style confusing? I make all these character anaylsis thingys and it feels like a therapy session. Oo.. my grammar's not that great. If you find any mistakes, please tell me.
This might be revised and I might suddenly get ideas and add stuff to make it longer... bear with me here, I don't usually write stories.. I write essays... but not by choice.
Uhhh.. Merle is very naughty.... But she's the only one in this story who still has the motivation to go and do something. Merle haters, I'm sorry, but just that her personality is the type who would do that, and she wasn't affected directly by Zaibach.
Okay, I have a confession to make, I SUCK at writing romance. Everything I write anything a BIT over the line, I hear the little beeep! going off in my head, and to get rid of that beep I kill people in my fics -.- ... But I'm working on it, since everyone wants Hitomi + Van...
Have you realized that when I began writing fics, the archive fell behind? Humm.. waht should I sacrifice? -tosses coins-