Humm.. this might still be revised. I don't like how Hitomi's appearance was rushed. I'm trying to speed up the story, but it's not going too well.
I tried to make the atmosphere dark, but failed miserably. Oh well...
This story doesn't have too much revision. I swapped some stuff around. If you already read the last post, then don't worry about this one. But if you read it, that'll be great too!
Thank you all for reviewing my story and reading!
Standard disclaimers apply
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Crash and Burn - Chapter 2
by Jenn aka Rubie
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Lightning ripped in the dark night, and the sky was a shimmering sheet black rain. It was hard to see anything else. A boy tore his way through the rain, his feet skimming over the slippery concrete. He was tall and long limbed, but he had the appearance of someone who grew too fast and too sudden. His balance was not set, and he came close to slipping several times.
Another blinding streak of light flashed through the sky and the boy winced. Strangely, no thunder followed that abnormally bright light. Perhaps the rain was too deafening. He approached the shrine, surprised that the door was already unlocked and partly open. A stream of voices echoed from within.
"I was so worried! I thought you might end up in the outskirts and Zaibach would have caught you. Amazing! How did you become so accurate?" A bright energetic voice asked excitedly.
"I don't know...," the other girl spoke he barely a whisper. He had to strain to hear it through the pounding rain.
"You have to hide! We can't let anybody see you. If Zaibach finds out...."
"But..."
"They're going to kill you if they find out."
Silence. The silent girl seemed to be thinking things over, but he doubted she would say anything. She seemed to be a person who had infinite thoughts, all carefully locked away in the recesses of her forbidden heart. And she would share those secrets with no one.
The other girl in the room was silent was well, but it was a discomforting silence on one who has commited a crime. "There's something I need to tell you, Hitomi, I--"
The door creaked. The wind betrayed him. Or did he betray himself?
"Va- Van-sama!" Merle was aghast. Her eyes widened in fear at the rain soaked boy at the doorway, his expression unreadable.
The girl beside her grew pallid as she took several steps back. He watched her impassively, though every nerve in his body screamed. A person that he's been desperately trying to avoid suddenly appears. What should he feel? Angry? Scared? Regretful? No... none of them describe the emotion his is experiencing now. But what annoyed him was that he could not name it.
"But... I thought...." her voice was still soft. She tugged and twisted a strand her shoulder length hair in her hand.
Hitomi's uncertainty was painfully obvious. Van was somewhat thankful that his body did not betray him. Those years of suppressing his emotions in front of the elders had given him and endless capacity for pretense. But after three years of trying to forget, he wasn't sure how he should react. After the surprise at the unexpected arrival passed, he felt hollow. There was no extreme uncertainty, fear, or acceptance... only... apathy? He sighed inwardly. So one cannot pretend to be someone else for three years without becoming that person.
She changed drastically over the past three years. Her once bright eyes were almost gray now, and they bore a strange indifference that made her unapproachable. Her dark green overcoat seemed to swallow her, setting off the unnatural paleness of her skin. She noticed his eyes examining her, and frantically looked at Merle for an explanation.
"I lied," Merle confessed. "Van-sama didn't die, but Gaea needs you! I needed you to listen... so....," she let her voice drift.
Hitomi was angry. "Merle, I'm going to go home," she whispered.
"But, Hitomi..." Merle was becoming desperate.
"That's disappointing," he said with a bright smile, "You wouldn't return unless I died?"
Her eyes widened in surprise. "No... I...," she paused. A smile? Van almost never smiled. It looked so out of place, so forced, so.... artificial. The boy in her memories was not like this. He was honest, candid, and he was not a prevaricator. But a person can change a lot in just three years; he was no exception. And he's come a hypocrite.
***
"I'm sorry. There are few options open to us now that you're here," he spoke with a light smile as he led the way through the halls. "You'll have to hide in the storage room behind mine."
She glanced at him, her eyes emotionless. "Don't apologize."
"Why should I not?"
Hitomi's eyes scanned him quickly again, before quickly focusing themselves back on the ground. A strange emotion seemed to pass before them for a fraction of a second. Van grimaced. Pity.. she pitied him. He didn't want anybody's pity.
"You've changed a lot, Van. Were you forced to change, or did you chose to change?" Her voice sounded strangely surreal and ghostly in the blackened halls.
He looked at her in surprise, and could feel the smile fall from his face. What kind of answer was she searching for? She already seemed to know everything. People do not assume a new personality because they want to, they do it because they have to. That was a foolish question. The answer was already obvious.
"People can change, and I had no other choice," he admitted, "But you chose to change. No one forced you."
He noted that she carefully avoided eye contact. She did not reply.
"Why?" he asked, inducing her to answer, his discomforting grin returning.
"The same reason why you chose to change."
Merle swallowed at the mounting tension. This was not the way she expected things to be. Especially Hitomi; she had expected her to be smiling, bright, and cheerful, a desperately needed relief to their grim and gloomy lifestyle. But...
"Hitomi, Zaibach is going to dismantle Escaflowne," Merle accused, "And Van-sama won't break the blood-pact!"
Hitomi stopped abruptly, her eyes narrowing slightly. Her emotions were extremely simplified, Merle noted. Anger, hate, indifference. She doesn't show anything else.
"Merle, you may leave if you are tired," Van turned to her calmly.
Merle felt an overwhelming urge to hit him. To get rid of the stupid grin. That deceiving grin. That mask of lies. But instead, she nodded and left.
The silence continued, and Van was unsure of what to say. Now, the first time since their defeat, he began to feel the onslaught of emotions. He was breaking down, he realized. Hitomi's dragging his suppressed emotions out into the open. No, she wasn't pointing them out, she was asking him questions that made him search within himself for the answer. And that made him angry and insecure.
"Van, do you want to die?"
He could not contain his shock at her question. A hopelessly absurd and rude question. She was prying herself into something she did not understand. How could she understand? But that question was also painfully obvious. He wondered why he never addressed it to himself.
He realized grimily he still had to answer her question. "Only if I have to."
"Liar."
He grimaced. This was not the girl he remembered, her gentle understanding brightening all those around her. She was kind and accepting; she was not painfully blunt.
But maybe she was right. Perhaps his entire life now was a lie. That mask of pretense he never took off; that discomforting smile he always wore; and how he's running from the realization that perhaps he was really guilty of Fanelia's defeat, and of Allen's death, and of Millerna's pain. And of Hitomi's broken spirit. Then, he felt real fear.
But at the same time, he felt angry. At himself or at Hitomi he was not sure. But all those walls that he took years of building around himself, Hitomi was tearing them down in a matter of minutes. He needed to get away. He did not want to show what was truly in his heart.
But what was in his heart? He was not sure if he even knew himself.
***
"This is your room," Van gestured, his smile lost. "Just dig up some of my clothes. You'll have to keep a low profile."
She nodded, her eyes carefully downcast.
He frowned, trying to think of something to say. Something that will shorten the widening gap separating them. But was there really anything left between them? They've been hiding from each other for so long...
"Sleep well," he said and turned to leave.
"You're running," he heard a soft whisper just before the door shut behind him.
***
As the door shut, she could suddenly feel her body relax. Her back was tense and ached under the stress. She sat down on the crudely made bed structured out a bumpy mattress heavily. It creaked, revealing the inner straw filling. Why was she being so cruel? Why was she attacking him as if he was an enemy?
But she already knew that answer before she even asked herself. She did not want him to see her for who she really was.
But his emotions were so easy to read, even if he did try to shield himself. That false smile, those dark eyes, his unsteady frame. They all betrayed him. But she made them obvious. She was hurting him, she knew, but she didn't know what to do or say otherwise. And despite the relief when she discovered he was still alive, she felt remorseful as well. He would be better off if he died.
But she's become so unforgiving.
Hitomi saw the floors of her small silver lined room blur, and wiped at her eyes unforgivingly. In three years, she had not cried, yet in a day, she's come very close to letting tears fall. And it was all because of him.
And that made her angry and insecure.
***
The door to the meeting hall opened sluggishly, the early morning rays twisting on its surface. The metal structure bent the light and sent crashing between the walls, painting grotesque representations across its shimmering surface. A pink headed young girl with cat ears peeked out from behind it.
"Van-sama, your breakfast."
He nodded, not looking up from his paperwork. Merle felt something in her heart wince. For the first time in years, he did not look up and smile at her. That fake happiness. That forged happiness. She felt relieved, but regretful as well, to know that he did not acknowledge her.
She placed the meal lightly on the table and examined him for a moment.
"I've talked to Hitomi," she said, watching him for a reaction.
"What did you tell her?" He did not look up.
"Everything but the death of Allen, Millerna's marriage, and Folken-sama's new position in Zaibach. Some things about the recent politics that I did not understand fully, I did not tell her either," Merle spoke as if she was being judged.
He nodded, his quill pen scratching the documents softly. "Tell her."
"But she didn't ask! She didn't ask about anything. It's almost as if she didn't care; she probably already knew."
"Tell her anyway."
Merle blinked in confusing, but nodded. A short silence followed before she finally gathered up her courage to speak again.
"The rumors are all over town... Zaibach.. they know...," Merle's said quietly, "We should leave, Van-sama."
"I cannot." His answer was short and brisk. "Take Hitomi and leave."
"She refused," Merle said. Then froze. She just admitted that Hitomi was the one who told her about the recent developments. Van showed no signs of this, but Merle knew he took that into account.
She drew a long breath. "I know you're the king here, your people except you to carry out your duty. But... you are not the true leader. And..." Merle's voice grew softer, as if she feared speaking her thoughts aloud. Van's pen suddenly froze, as if her comments had struck, sure and true. She fumbled with her necklace, trying to gain confidence to say more.
"Van-sama, you're running..." Merle continued, when Van suddenly reeled back as if she had stabbed him. His darkened eyes filled with blood, closely resembling those blood red eyes that so characterized him during the Great War. Merle could feel her arms tense and her fur prickle in fear. She tried to swallow despite her constricted throat. Something was wrong with Van-sama. Terribly, terribly wrong.
Or was he never all right?
"I sorry, Van-sama, I didn't mean to say that." She hastily turned to leave.
"Wait, Merle."
She stiffened.
"You said what you thought, otherwise, you would not have said it."
Merle looked at simply decorated tile, and dug her toe in one of the designs, her back still turned towards him. She wasn't sure what to say. What could she say?
"I want to talk with you for a moment."
She paused in surprise and fear. Van-sama wanted to talk to her? He never talked to her.
Merle nodded at sat across from him at his desk. She watched him closely, trying to discern an emotion, but his face was blank.
"I...," Van paused, as if trying to find something better so say. He sighed deeply, "I... since our defeat... I....," he sighed again.
Merle watched in shock at she watched him struggle with his emotions. He was breaking down; his mask of dissembling was cracking. But she was afraid. She was not sure if she wanted to see what Van-sama was truly like.
"I'm a coward," he finally managed to splutter out.
Merle drew back in surprise, "No! That's not true, Van-sama... Yo--"
"I've been running away!" he stood up suddenly, sending his chair crashing to the floor. He grabbed the pile of papers and threw it at the glass windows, letting the snowy sheets float across the room. "I'm such a coward! I've been taking Escaflowne as an excuse to die!" He face was twisted in rage, his usually gray eyes were returning to a bloody red. His hands were frantically groping for his pens, his books, anything that laid on his desk. He tore up the papers, throwing them at the walls and snapped the pens in two. He kicked at his fallen chair, his face contorted in rage.
Merle shrank back fearfully, still frozen in her chair. The sudden outburst surprised her, and she was not sure of what to say or how to react.
The door suddenly few open, and the ambassador stormed into the room. His eyes scanned the room, and his body registering shock and surprise. Merle heard him cursing silently under his breath. Van stood up, his face suddenly devoid of emotion.
"So is it true?" The man asked gruffly. Rudely.
"Please explain yourself. I cannot read your mind." Van kept the same indifference, but his voice sounded tired.
"That the girl from the Illusionary Moon returned. The rumors are all over town. A bright flash of light appeared and no thunder followed. It must be--"
"If that was Hitomi, then I would not be sitting here listening to your mindless speech." Van bent down to gather some scattered papers.
The man was disgusted. "Some Zaibach soldiers saw three people running at night from the shrine, where the light stopped. They claimed if was you and that cat girl. The third they did not recognize."
"If you do not show me the proper respect expected of an elder to its king, I refuse to answer that question."
The man's face twisted in fury, "This is unheard of!"
"Then we better hear it."
He looked at Van, his face agape. "Your majesty, who was this third person?"
"A common servant. She was caught in the rain."
"May I see her?"
"No, she is sick."
"I insist upon seeing her."
"No, I do not want her getting any sicker by seeing you."
***
The ambassador existed to the hall, his face twisted in frustration and anger. That boy king was trying to break free of his binds. Zaibach controlled his entire kingdom, yet he still waged a personal battle, trying to gain petty respect like it's little child's game. A worthless, pointless child that will amount to nothing. What a fool.... What a complete fool!
He rounded a corner and opened the door to one of Zaibach's private rooms. It was grand and newly built; the ceiling was tall and glowed mysteriously. The walls were lined with small green lights that gave off a sickly atmosphere. But it suited the castle, since everyone here was ill at heart.
He sighed quietly and fingered the small jewel embedded in the skin of his ear. He tugged at the thin metal and switched his ear piece on. Instantly, in hummed into life, sending tremors down the sensitive skin of his face.
"Folken-sama, do you really think the girl came back?" the ambassador asked incredulously.
"Ambassador, that is hardly the question," he spoke evenly, "She is here; she is in the storage room behind the king's. Our cameras confirmed that."
"But she has been gone for so long, even her involvement in the Great War has become a myth," he said, still unconvinced.
"But that acts in our benefit."
"The strength of her character is doubtful. She disappeared on the eve of their defeat. That sounds like a coward, not an inspiration."
"The human mind is a desperate and complicated thing. People are better off with a wooden head."
He frowned. It was hardly the time to tease. Folken-sama made such strange comments sometimes. But nevertheless, he had to admit he was a brilliant and able leader.
"The girl still means a lot to the Fanelians, and other prominent countries involved in the war."
"Then we must--"
"Do nothing until you see them appearing suspicious. I expect you to act wisely," The voice blurred and faded.
Wisely. Only fools pretend to be wise.
End of chapter 2
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*attempts to envision someone rubbing a balloon on Dilandau's
hair to make it spikey. Or even better, Allen!!!* MUHAHAHA!
uhh... -.-
Do you see what I mean by I SUCK at romance? >.> Urggg... I deleted the whole part about the room, filled it up with gibberish... There's still no action yet, but the next chapter, hopefully <--key word, something is going to happen.
I attempted to make the ambassador a little easier to relate with. He's suppose to be practical, stubborn, and its easily convinced.. what's that word.... well.. anyway, he still is a bit weird but oh well. Don't worry, he's not that important, and he'll never get a name.
Comments and Reviews are always great!