DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Tamora Pierce and are used here without permission.
Author's Note: This is Crane's version of "The Road Less Traveled." Enjoy!
Why?
Why did you break my heart, Niva? Why? What did I do?
Those words will run through my head forever. Why did she leave me? She loved me. She said so. She wanted us to marry. And then one night she ran away from me. I chased her, but she easily outstripped me. For someone so short, she sure was fast. I searched for her for hours, calling her name. I didn't care if I got in trouble for being out so late. I just wanted to find her.
I did find her, but she seemed different. She said that she never wanted to be with me. I was crushed. I had loved her for so long, ever since the first time I saw her, running down the path, auburn curls streaming out behind her like a cape. When she cut her hair not long after we broke up, I was shocked. I gathered up her hair, that beautiful soft hair. I still have it, actually, in my room. I take it out and look at it sometimes, and I remember...
I remember how happy she made me feel. I remember that nervous tingle that she gave me--that she still gives me, although I would never admit that.
I remember how happy I used to make her. I loved to make her smile. She looked so sad when I first met her, so quiet and lonely. I could always make her smile, though, and I cherished every slow grin that I saw wash over her face. When I brought her plants at Lightsbridge, I longed to keep every smile in a bottle. She was so miserable and sick. But I could always make her feel better, and that made me feel good.
I remember how my heart felt when she said that she didn't want to see me anymore. She said that she wanted us to remain friends. Friends! I wanted to scream. All I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with her. The thought of living without her was like living without air. And yet all she wanted from me was friendship?
I remember how she looked when she took the vows, her newly cropped auburn hair giving her an older, more serious appearance. She didn't look like the girl whom I had loved. She looked older, sadder. I wanted to make her smile again, but I didn't. That part of my life--when I was her protector, her comforter--was over. It ended the moment that she took her vows. And I could never get that time back.
I still think about her a lot. Too much, actually. When she got sick from the blue pox, I felt awful. I wanted to make her better, but I knew that no matter what I did, she might still die. When I heard about her seizure, I ran to Discipline. There was such a commotion, no one noticed when I crept back to her garden. (I still don't know why she hates my greenhouse so much, although maybe it's because I make fun of her garden. I shouldn't, but I can't help myself. At least it keeps me from doing something impulsive, like kissing her.) I peered into the window, and I watched her sleep for hours, until I heard Briar coming.
I still love her, of course. Love isn't something that you can turn on and off like a faucet. But I can never have her. She hates me. I don't know why, but she does. Lark swears that she doesn't, but then why didn't she marry me? I would have made her happy. I would have taken care of her. Why did she leave me?
Why?
Author's Note: This is Crane's version of "The Road Less Traveled." Enjoy!
Why?
Why did you break my heart, Niva? Why? What did I do?
Those words will run through my head forever. Why did she leave me? She loved me. She said so. She wanted us to marry. And then one night she ran away from me. I chased her, but she easily outstripped me. For someone so short, she sure was fast. I searched for her for hours, calling her name. I didn't care if I got in trouble for being out so late. I just wanted to find her.
I did find her, but she seemed different. She said that she never wanted to be with me. I was crushed. I had loved her for so long, ever since the first time I saw her, running down the path, auburn curls streaming out behind her like a cape. When she cut her hair not long after we broke up, I was shocked. I gathered up her hair, that beautiful soft hair. I still have it, actually, in my room. I take it out and look at it sometimes, and I remember...
I remember how happy she made me feel. I remember that nervous tingle that she gave me--that she still gives me, although I would never admit that.
I remember how happy I used to make her. I loved to make her smile. She looked so sad when I first met her, so quiet and lonely. I could always make her smile, though, and I cherished every slow grin that I saw wash over her face. When I brought her plants at Lightsbridge, I longed to keep every smile in a bottle. She was so miserable and sick. But I could always make her feel better, and that made me feel good.
I remember how my heart felt when she said that she didn't want to see me anymore. She said that she wanted us to remain friends. Friends! I wanted to scream. All I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with her. The thought of living without her was like living without air. And yet all she wanted from me was friendship?
I remember how she looked when she took the vows, her newly cropped auburn hair giving her an older, more serious appearance. She didn't look like the girl whom I had loved. She looked older, sadder. I wanted to make her smile again, but I didn't. That part of my life--when I was her protector, her comforter--was over. It ended the moment that she took her vows. And I could never get that time back.
I still think about her a lot. Too much, actually. When she got sick from the blue pox, I felt awful. I wanted to make her better, but I knew that no matter what I did, she might still die. When I heard about her seizure, I ran to Discipline. There was such a commotion, no one noticed when I crept back to her garden. (I still don't know why she hates my greenhouse so much, although maybe it's because I make fun of her garden. I shouldn't, but I can't help myself. At least it keeps me from doing something impulsive, like kissing her.) I peered into the window, and I watched her sleep for hours, until I heard Briar coming.
I still love her, of course. Love isn't something that you can turn on and off like a faucet. But I can never have her. She hates me. I don't know why, but she does. Lark swears that she doesn't, but then why didn't she marry me? I would have made her happy. I would have taken care of her. Why did she leave me?
Why?