Heck yeah, they're mine! Not really, but a girl can wish, can't she? Ah, well... they're Marvels... and... uh... that's it.
Wolverine's Babysitting Adventure II
The kids were being quiet. They had been playing nicely in the living room. Needless to say, Wolverine was afraid. Very, very afraid.
"It's not like them, to be so quiet." He put down the paper he was reading and went to peak in on them. Gambit was playing Final Fantasy 7 on their new Playstation 2, Beast was watching Jerry Springer on the television, and Nightcrawler was... nowhere to be seen.
"Oh my stars and garters, is this stuff real? My, my..."
"No Cloud No! Keep da fire materia, put *down* da water materia!"
"You two, where is the little elf guy?"
"Ya mean our little friend Kurt? I don' know."
"Yes you do you little fart, now tell me now!"
"I'm afraid my red-eyed comrade is telling you the truth Nanny Logan. Now please, I am attempting to watch some quality programming." He turned his head to the TV just in time to yell "Kick him to the curb!" at the 7-months-pregnant girl with the dead-beat boyfriend.
"Non, not *lightening* materia! Stupid game! Dumb stupid game!" Little Remy's eyes glowed red. The game was frustrating him, and when Remy got angry, well...
*BAM* *Ka-POW*
"Oh, no! Their powers are manifesting... god, I gotta find Kurt. His teleporting wan't bad, but of course, teleporting doesn't cause things to explode.
"Whoa, was dat me? Cool!" Gambit squeled in delight as he picked up some discarded marbles and began charging them and throwing them all around the place.
Wolverine fled. Quickly.
**********
"Kurt, you can come out now." Beast told him. Gambit was still running around giddily throwing exploding objects everywhere.
"I t'row dem, an' dey go BOOM! Bah ha ha ha ha haw!" (This is one of the many reasons god chose mutant abilities to not show up until the teen years).
Wolverine was gone, and had been for about 10 minutes. To where, they neither knew nor cared.
"So, mon ami," said an out of breath Gambit, "You got da goods?" Kurt nodded his head excitedly. Since he could teleport, they sent him to Logan's room to grab his stash-beer, whisky, cigars, cigarettes... everything little kids should never touch... ever.
"Vhy, yes!" He presented the objects to them.
"Well, dey be no turnin' back now. Ta drunk or bust tryin'!" He laughed as he opened up a bottle of Vodka.
**********
"Ah, dang, me non bein' feel-ern suh well." Remy's already highly accented speech was now so accented and slurred at that, that it was damn near unintelligible.
"Muh *hiccup* little friend... maybe this wasn't the best *hiccup* idea you ever had, no?" Beast then proceded to run to the toilet (which he didn't make it to) and puke.
"M-m-m-my head h-h-hurts." Nightcrawler's stutter asserted itself with a vengence.
"Don' be bein' such dang'ed wussied punks, now. Time it be bein' fer a smoke." He gave an akward smile as he let up a fat stogie. "Dis go'n be real good." He smiled as he took a puff, turned an odd shade of bluish-green, and couched out his lungs.
**********
The same time, different place...
"Look, Scott. I know we aren't the best of friends, but..."
"No."
"Please please please please please??" Logan was begging; this had to be bad.
"They can't be that bad. I mean, hey! They're just kids, right?"
And Logan, sobbing, recounted his story.
**********
Scott had decided, especially after hearing Logan's story (which couldn't all be true, right? I mean, kids aren't that bad) he decided he should try to help. He *is* the leader, after all.
Wolverine sniffed the air, looked confused, then sniffed again. Then a mix of fear and anger filled his face. He took off running as he'd never run before-faster than when being chased by a sentinel, faster than he ran towards Sabretooth-I mean, The Flash type of fast.
"My good Brandy!" He sniffed again. "And my wine-my 1927 wine! NO!" He wailed, a cry mixed with tears and a howl. A pitiful sound. Scott could barely keep up.
Logan reached the living room and threw the doors open. As he began to approach the children with murder in his eyes, Nightcrawler looked up, grabbed Beast and Gambit by the hands, and *bamf*ed away."
"You can run, but you can't hide, my little prey!" He yelled, and took off running in the opposite direction of where he'd come, passing by a Cyclops who'd not yet even reached the living room.
"What? *gasp* Where are you going? *gasp* I'm not in good enough shape for this." He turned and tried-unsuccessfully- to follow Wolverine.
**********
3 hours later... (Yes, women can shop for this long at a time... trust me, it's not unusual.)
Kurt had *bamf*ed them everywhere he could think of. Unfortunately, Wolverine had kept finding them. Kurt eventually, because of exhaustion and liquor, passed out. They were doomed now.
"Aha! Got you now..." WOlverine moved in on them, but saw they were all asleep. He couldn't kill sleeping prey (that's what he told himself, anyways), so he picked them all up, and placed them in his bed. He covered them up gently (so they wouldn't catch pnemonia and die before he could kill them, he also told his gullible brain), turned down the lights, and left.
"Damn kids." He said. But inside, he knew he was lucky. He could only imagine himself as a child. He shuddered at the thought.
He picked up his paper and began reading again. He waited patiently for Rogue to arrive back. He smiled, a cruel smile. An evil, vengeful, vendictive smile. He was planning on telling Rogue what "perfect angels" they'd been so she'd take them out for pizza. He laughed at his evil plan. Wouldn't she be suprised when she got there, and the kids could hve as much "fun" with her as they had had with him. His plan was so beautifully rotten not even Mr. Sinister could do better, even if he combined forces with Apocolypse and Magneto. I am evil, Wolverine thought happily as he dozed off.
Uh, that's it for this edition of... *dum dum dummmmm* Wolverine's Babysitting Adventure. You like? Dislike? Tell me in a review. Later! Be sure to read installment 3, their trip to Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza House!
Wolverine's Babysitting Adventure II
The kids were being quiet. They had been playing nicely in the living room. Needless to say, Wolverine was afraid. Very, very afraid.
"It's not like them, to be so quiet." He put down the paper he was reading and went to peak in on them. Gambit was playing Final Fantasy 7 on their new Playstation 2, Beast was watching Jerry Springer on the television, and Nightcrawler was... nowhere to be seen.
"Oh my stars and garters, is this stuff real? My, my..."
"No Cloud No! Keep da fire materia, put *down* da water materia!"
"You two, where is the little elf guy?"
"Ya mean our little friend Kurt? I don' know."
"Yes you do you little fart, now tell me now!"
"I'm afraid my red-eyed comrade is telling you the truth Nanny Logan. Now please, I am attempting to watch some quality programming." He turned his head to the TV just in time to yell "Kick him to the curb!" at the 7-months-pregnant girl with the dead-beat boyfriend.
"Non, not *lightening* materia! Stupid game! Dumb stupid game!" Little Remy's eyes glowed red. The game was frustrating him, and when Remy got angry, well...
*BAM* *Ka-POW*
"Oh, no! Their powers are manifesting... god, I gotta find Kurt. His teleporting wan't bad, but of course, teleporting doesn't cause things to explode.
"Whoa, was dat me? Cool!" Gambit squeled in delight as he picked up some discarded marbles and began charging them and throwing them all around the place.
Wolverine fled. Quickly.
**********
"Kurt, you can come out now." Beast told him. Gambit was still running around giddily throwing exploding objects everywhere.
"I t'row dem, an' dey go BOOM! Bah ha ha ha ha haw!" (This is one of the many reasons god chose mutant abilities to not show up until the teen years).
Wolverine was gone, and had been for about 10 minutes. To where, they neither knew nor cared.
"So, mon ami," said an out of breath Gambit, "You got da goods?" Kurt nodded his head excitedly. Since he could teleport, they sent him to Logan's room to grab his stash-beer, whisky, cigars, cigarettes... everything little kids should never touch... ever.
"Vhy, yes!" He presented the objects to them.
"Well, dey be no turnin' back now. Ta drunk or bust tryin'!" He laughed as he opened up a bottle of Vodka.
**********
"Ah, dang, me non bein' feel-ern suh well." Remy's already highly accented speech was now so accented and slurred at that, that it was damn near unintelligible.
"Muh *hiccup* little friend... maybe this wasn't the best *hiccup* idea you ever had, no?" Beast then proceded to run to the toilet (which he didn't make it to) and puke.
"M-m-m-my head h-h-hurts." Nightcrawler's stutter asserted itself with a vengence.
"Don' be bein' such dang'ed wussied punks, now. Time it be bein' fer a smoke." He gave an akward smile as he let up a fat stogie. "Dis go'n be real good." He smiled as he took a puff, turned an odd shade of bluish-green, and couched out his lungs.
**********
The same time, different place...
"Look, Scott. I know we aren't the best of friends, but..."
"No."
"Please please please please please??" Logan was begging; this had to be bad.
"They can't be that bad. I mean, hey! They're just kids, right?"
And Logan, sobbing, recounted his story.
**********
Scott had decided, especially after hearing Logan's story (which couldn't all be true, right? I mean, kids aren't that bad) he decided he should try to help. He *is* the leader, after all.
Wolverine sniffed the air, looked confused, then sniffed again. Then a mix of fear and anger filled his face. He took off running as he'd never run before-faster than when being chased by a sentinel, faster than he ran towards Sabretooth-I mean, The Flash type of fast.
"My good Brandy!" He sniffed again. "And my wine-my 1927 wine! NO!" He wailed, a cry mixed with tears and a howl. A pitiful sound. Scott could barely keep up.
Logan reached the living room and threw the doors open. As he began to approach the children with murder in his eyes, Nightcrawler looked up, grabbed Beast and Gambit by the hands, and *bamf*ed away."
"You can run, but you can't hide, my little prey!" He yelled, and took off running in the opposite direction of where he'd come, passing by a Cyclops who'd not yet even reached the living room.
"What? *gasp* Where are you going? *gasp* I'm not in good enough shape for this." He turned and tried-unsuccessfully- to follow Wolverine.
**********
3 hours later... (Yes, women can shop for this long at a time... trust me, it's not unusual.)
Kurt had *bamf*ed them everywhere he could think of. Unfortunately, Wolverine had kept finding them. Kurt eventually, because of exhaustion and liquor, passed out. They were doomed now.
"Aha! Got you now..." WOlverine moved in on them, but saw they were all asleep. He couldn't kill sleeping prey (that's what he told himself, anyways), so he picked them all up, and placed them in his bed. He covered them up gently (so they wouldn't catch pnemonia and die before he could kill them, he also told his gullible brain), turned down the lights, and left.
"Damn kids." He said. But inside, he knew he was lucky. He could only imagine himself as a child. He shuddered at the thought.
He picked up his paper and began reading again. He waited patiently for Rogue to arrive back. He smiled, a cruel smile. An evil, vengeful, vendictive smile. He was planning on telling Rogue what "perfect angels" they'd been so she'd take them out for pizza. He laughed at his evil plan. Wouldn't she be suprised when she got there, and the kids could hve as much "fun" with her as they had had with him. His plan was so beautifully rotten not even Mr. Sinister could do better, even if he combined forces with Apocolypse and Magneto. I am evil, Wolverine thought happily as he dozed off.
Uh, that's it for this edition of... *dum dum dummmmm* Wolverine's Babysitting Adventure. You like? Dislike? Tell me in a review. Later! Be sure to read installment 3, their trip to Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza House!