Disclaimer: Digimon and Daisuke are very unfortunately, not mine…*sniffles*
Author's notes: Chapter two! ^-^ Yay! Let's see if I can actually upload it now. *sweatdrops* Techno stuff is sooooo not my strong point. I think this turned out way fluffier and way more cheddary than I intended, but oh well…win some, lose some. I still love Dai-chan. (And Jyou and Koushiro and Matt and Tai and TK and…anyone else sensing a trend here? ^-^) And thanks Reese, Jin, Glay, Finny, Sincerity, and Phoenix of Blood Red Mars for the nice reviews! Thankyou-thankyou! (And I am soooo sorry if this doesn't live up to the expectations. *sweatdrops*)
***
So why ya gotta stand there
Looking like the answer now
It seems to me - you'd come around
I need you now
***
"Daisuke!" I yell as I watch the beam start to fall. He's just sitting there looking up at it. Without thinking, I reach over and grab his wrist, pulling for all I'm worth. For a moment, there's some resistance, and then we both go flying to the other side of the tiny room as the beam comes crashing down with a resounding thud.
Coughing, I try to blink, but there's so much dust in the air that it's hard to see and it's hard to breathe for a moment. I can feel Daisuke's hand clench in mine as he struggles to sit up. In a way, it's oddly comforting. He's coughing pretty hard and as the dust starts to clear, I can see him trying to push up off the floor with his hands.
"Are you okay?" I ask as I catch sight of his damp back. There's something about it that just doesn't make sense. It's not that hot, he shouldn't have been sweating that much. Maybe he's claustrophobic. I put a hand on his back.
"Ow!" He yells hoarsely. "Shit…that…hurts." The words come out in shallow gasps as I pull my hand quickly back to my side, confused.
"Daisuke?" I glance from him down to my own damp hand. Even in the dusty light, I can see that it's coated in blood. His blood. Oh god. I swallow convulsively. "Oh my god, Daisuke." I breathe out scared as I reach over gingerly and help him into a sitting position. He shoots me a grateful smile. God, how can he be smiling at a time like this?! "What happened?"
"Just…a scratch." He tells me as he weakly tries to push my hands away. There's a thin layer of sweat gathering on his forehead, and just from the way he's breathing, I can tell it's hurting him a great deal. Just a scratch! Peeling back his dark blue shirt from his back, I can see a jagged ripped hole in the fabric.
"Sure, whatever Daisuke." I mumble nervously as I get a better look at his injury. He's got this gash on his right side, and blood just keeps streaming out of it. Even in the dim light, I can tell it's deep. How did this happen?! I suck in a sharp breath of air. What am I going to do? What can I do? Think Izumi!
"Is…it really…that bad?" He asks me in that same hoarse voice as he puts a hand on my arm to gain my attention. What am I supposed to do? Tell him the truth and risk scaring him, or lie and say everything's just fine and that it isn't half as bad as it looks? His hand slides off my arm as I take too long to answer. But looking down, I can see the trail of blood he's left.
"You're going to be fine." I lie. Or maybe it isn't so much of a lie. If I have to kill myself trying, I'll make sure he gets out of this okay. Jyou's not the only one who can be reliable. I try pulling up at the front of his shirt because the blood on his hand is making me nervous all over again.
"Hey…no peekin'." He pushes away, but I manage to get it up far enough to see his stomach. I feel chills roll up my spine when I see that whatever it was that punctured him has gone all the way through. Damn! He's probably been bleeding like this for the last half-hour, and I never had a clue! Some genius I am! Don't panic. I take a deep breath. Here I was getting all mad at him for just sitting there and I never realized…
"Dude, it's no big deal." He tells me as I watch his hand go back down to his side and squeeze. Looking up at his dark brown eyes, I can see that they're beginning to look just a little dazed. Pressure! That's it. I may not be able to stop him from bleeding, but I can help slow it down. Funny how he'd already thought of it himself. He really is smarter than he acts sometimes. People don't give him enough credit.
"Woo-hoo, Koushiro. Take…it all…off." I can hear him manage to get out before he starts coughing again. Shrugging out of my shirt, I roll my eyes at his sense of humor, not for the first time.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty scrawny. Leave me alone." I retort as I wrap my shirt around him as tight as I can. "Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?"
"Scrawny?…Says who? I'm smaller…than you."
"Yes, but you have muscle." I point out as I survey the room. The hole in the ceiling's bigger, and the rock pile leading up to it looks stable. I turn to look back at Daisuke. There's no way he's going to make it up there on his own. But if I don't get him out of here soon, I don't know, I just don't think he can handle losing that much more blood. Not that I'd know, really. I'm not a doctor. "I'm getting you out of here." I tell him, determined now. He shoots me a skeptical glance right before I pull his arms around my neck.
"Dude, I'm pretty…heavy. You really…think you can…handle me…piggyback. All…the way up…there." I nod as I manage to hoist him up onto my back. I'm going to have to.
"You're gonna have to hold on fairly tight though, because I think I might need to use my hands to climb up in some spots." I warn him as I start. "Listen, I'm really sorry for snapping at you earlier, Daisuke. I didn't mean it." I apologize. Maybe, if I came out from behind my computer every once in a while, this sort of thing would be easier.
"What d'ya call an Indian fog?" I manage a small smile.
"What?"
"Apache."
"I don't get it." I tell him, a little worried now. Usually I get most of his corny jokes. I don't know why, but he can just get me to laugh. Maybe it's just that he puts on such an act. And I know it's an act. The guy's been following all my conversations about surface integrals and differential equations at our Saturday meets. Most everyone else's eyes glaze over when I start going on like that, but he just starts asking intelligent questions. Yeah, he's a lot smarter than people give him credit for.
"It's a Wallace…joke." He grunts painfully as I stumble, scraping my knee on some of the debris.
"Oh, well that explains it." I say, somewhat relieved.
"What did the Airdramon…say to the… Seadramon?" I relax a little, he can't be that bad off if he keeps insisting on telling stupid jokes.
"This is a DemiVeemon joke isn't it?" I return dryly. He chuckles with a hoarse cough.
"Hey wingless wonder!" I laugh. Not so much because the joke itself is funny, but more because I can see DemiVeemon telling the joke, convinced it's the most hysterical thing he's ever heard. "Poor blue…ball of fuzz…his jokes never…make any sense."
"Oh, and yours do?" I tease. Just a couple more feet and we'll be out of here. I can feel the pile beneath me shifting slightly, like it had before. And it still makes me nervous. But with Daisuke bleeding like this, going back and waiting just seems so useless.
"What d'ya call it…when a thousand rabbits…take a step…back?"
"You've been watching way too much TV." I tell him. "Remind me to lend you that new sci fi book I just bought."
"A receding hare line!" He giggles again and I laugh. "What's the…book?" I grin.
"Magic's Pawn. Mercedes Lackey." I tell him as I manage to scramble over the edge of the ceiling and up onto the roof. Looking out, I can see that the quake's done a lot of damage. There's a lot of people moving chaotically in the streets, but I can see a couple policemen, a few firemen, and a handful of paramedics helping everyone try and get out safely. "Now to get you some help." I tell Daisuke, as I move towards the edge of the roof. "Daisuke?" I ask as I feel his entire body go limp. "Daisuke!"
***
Do you think you can cope
You figured me out - I'm lost and I'm hopeless
Bleeding and broken-though I've never spoken
I come undone-in this mad season
***
All I can do is stand here and do my damnedest not to shake. It's all a blur really. Getting Daisuke off the roof, and into the hands of a paramedic. Watching him as they took him here. His eyes never opening once. The hospital's an absolute zoo. Funny how I'm not hearing a sound.
He was telling jokes damn it. I knew he wasn't doing great, but he was telling jokes.
He's gonna be just fine. Funny how thinking that isn't making me feel any better. He's Daisuke. Unbeatable. He'll be just fine. He always is. It's strange how I never realized I liked having him around this much until I realized he might not be there anymore. In the past year, he's become my best friend.
I'm shaking, and I just can't seem to stop. I suppose that's okay. I mean, I just survived through an earthquake. But Daisuke? He's gonna get better. I have to keep telling myself that.
"Izzy?! Oh my god, Izzy, are you okay?" My head jerks up at the sound of my name, and I look up to see Matt and Jyou staring down at me worriedly. I give a jerky nod. Am I really okay? Probably not.
"What are you guys doing here?" Jyou's leaning slightly against Matt with an elbow propped up on the blonde's shoulder. And as I stare at them, all that goes through my head is what Daisuke was telling me back in the building. "Jyou and Matt are better together than they are apart." Do I really know either of them as well as I thought I did? I mean, I always assumed Jyou would practice medicine. I thought that that was what he wanted to do. But according to Daisuke, he's a History major now. If I'd known him, really known him as well as I thought I knew him, wouldn't I have seen something like that coming?
And Matt. I didn't know him that well when we were in the digital world. Who am I to say that he and Jyou aren't well matched? I just assumed that because he was always so aloof that he and Jyou couldn't possibly work together. I don't know Matt that well. I'm looking at the two of them, and it's like I'm seeing them with open eyes for the first time. The happiest I've ever seen the two of them look, is like now, when they're with each other.
"Shin crashed his bike during the quake, and since we live so close to the hospital, my Mom asked us to check up on him and make sure he was okay." Jyou's saying, but I didn't catch the first part. I'm assuming Shin's okay, because neither of them seems too terribly worried.
I am though. Worried, that is.
"Izzy, if you're okay, what are you doing here?" That's from Matt. He's looking at me with concern and I want to laugh. He's worried about the wrong person. I'm fine. But Daisuke. He was so pale when they took him away.
"I was meeting Daisuke for lunch…" That's about as far as I get. "I think I need to sit for a second." I mumble as I slide down to the floor. Matt's there beside me as Jyou walks towards the nurse's station. Good. Maybe they'll tell him more then they're willing to tell me.
"Take a deep breath." I look over at Matt as he sits down beside me. I shoot him a disgruntled glare, even as I do what he says. "I'm sure Daisuke'll be just fine, Izzy. The guy's like a rubber ball. He always bounces back." I know that. But Matt didn't see what I saw. And it's not his best friend. It's not his best half that he's losing.
My best half. Oh my god. "I didn't tell him! I didn't know." Miserably, I hold my head in my hands. Why did I never see this before? Why didn't I realize how much he meant to me? "I'm never going to see him again. I'm never going to get a chance to tell him how much it all meant." Distantly, I realize I'm rambling like a complete moron. Which is probably appropriate. That's what I've been for the last year.
Give me a computer and I'm a goddamn genius. Put me in a room with a person and I can't tell my head from a hole in the wall. For someone who's supposed to be pretty smart, I've been real stupid. Whenever I think of something really interesting that I want to share, who's the first person I call? Daisuke. Who is it that I hang around all the time and goof off with? Daisuke. He gets me to loosen up. God, why did I never realize that before? He doesn't expect me to be some brainiac all the time. In fact, he gets on my case if I stay too serious. But it's more than just friendship. So much more.
Why did it take this to make me realize? God, I'm such an idiot.
"Izzy!" My head snaps up as both Jyou and Matt look at me with concern.
"What?" I return somewhat dazedly. How long have the two of them been there trying to pull me out of my thoughts?
"One of the nurses told me that they've got Daisuke in the OR right now. We can't do him any good just sitting here. Let us take you back to the apartment." Jyou tells me as I focus on his violet eyes.
"I'm fine." I tell them. "I'll just sit here until he comes out of surgery. It's no big deal, really." I finish quietly. Jyou exchanges a look with Matt and then clears his throat a little bit nervously.
"Izzy, the nurse asked me if I could take you out of here and get you cleaned up. You're starting to scare people." Jyou tells me and then winces.
"Nice choice of words there." Matt grins as he gives Jyou's back a comforting rub. "What Jyou's trying to say, Izzy, is that you look like you just came back from shooting a horror flick." I stare at them both a bit confused.
"I don't think that was much better, Matt." Jyou shoots the blonde a teasing grin as Mattt blushes slightly. I frown at them both and then look down at myself for the first time since I came here. My shirt's gone. Oh, that's right. I tied it around Daisuke's middle. Daisuke. I've got his blood all over me. His hands, which were around my neck, had been covered in it. And as I turned and looked over my shoulder, I can see that my back has dried blood caked on it. And then it's on my pants too. It's everywhere.
"Oh God." I all but moan as both Jyou and Matt wince.
"C'mon Izzy, it's not as bad as it looks. Daisuke'll live through anything. He'll be fine." Matt tells me again as both he and Jyou help me up on my feet.
"He's gotta be." I say dazedly as the two of them lead me out.
***
I feel stupid - but I think I been catchin' on
I feel ugly - but I know I still turn you on
You seem colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
Will that whole mad season knock you down
***
Three days later
Where the hell am I? Looking around, I can recognize that it's definitely not my bedroom. My bedroom isn't nearly half this clean. I don't like the way it smells in here though.
Wrinkling my nose, I try to move and stop as I feel the dull throb in my side. Oh that's right. I'm in the hospital. I don't remember much that's for sure. I think my parents were in here. My sister too. I think.
Go me.
Geez, I've made a mess of everything. Again. Never fails. Only someone like me could be this colossally bad at romance. Hell, at anything. I honestly have no concept of how this always happens. Confess my love to Kari. Get slapped. Confess my love to Ken. Cause a car accident. Try and confess my love to Koushiro. Earthquake. I swear, this sucks.
'Specially because I really wanted this one to work out. Why can't he see what I see when we're together?
Well, I suppose at least one good thing came out of this whole mess. I got to see him without a shirt. I manage a small grin at that. A whole year of Saturday's and he doesn't take his shirt off once. Not even in the middle of July. I have no idea what it is that he does. Maybe it's lifting that backpack of his all the time. Or typing? Nah, that's stupid. Gotta be the backpack. But he's got a nice chest.
I manage a weak laugh. Ah man, if I could tell him that.
Baka. He's in love with Jyou. Good old tall, blue-haired, violet-eyed, smart, intellectual Jyou. Hehe. Like I have a termite's chance in hell. Short, shrimpy, brown eyed, rusty haired, never-can-keep-his-stupid-mouth-shut me. Please, reality check, Motomiya. Maybe I oughta quit banging my head against a brick wall.
But can I honestly keep this up? Can I keep just being a friend? An annoying, unwanted, incredibly stupid friend?
I guess it's either that or lose him completely. Not much of a choice, really though.
Ah hell. Who cares anyway. It's not like he wants me around. Someone as smart, as curious, just as with it as he is…what could he possibly see in someone like me? Hell, I'm me, and I don't always see a lot.
Well, I suppose this is a crossroads. I can tell him exactly how I feel the next time I see him. Have it end like it has in the past with people that I like. Or I can just keep my stupid mouth shut this time, and go my own way before I get kicked that way.
"Hey Daisuke." My head snaps up and I look over at the doorway. He's standing there, looking at me uncertainly in clothes that are way too big for him. I frown and tilt my head slightly as I stare.
"You shrunk." I hear myself say.
***
Now I'm crying-isn't that what you want
I'm trying to live my life on my own
But I won't
***
I stand uncertainly at the doorway. I know that he's awake. He staring straight ahead, blinking. And I want to just run over there and reassure myself that he really is okay. That he really is alive and doing well. But I hesitate.
I love him.
And I have absolutely no idea what to do about it. I mean, that is, if I should do anything. His head swivels towards the door, and I know he sees me standing there.
"You shrunk." He tells me hoarsely. I manage a weak grin at that as I come into the room and sit down in the chair beside the bed.
"Yeah, I'm wearing Matt's clothes. I've been with them for the past three days waiting for the people here to let me see you." I say quietly as I gingerly lean on the edge of the bed's mattress.
"Three days?! Have I been here that long?" He looks a bit confused, but then, I was warned that he might be. I nod. "Wow. Three days. Sorry you had to wait so long." He falls silent as he looks at me for a moment. I shift uncomfortably. Then I just go on instinct and reach over, grabbing his hand in mine. He looks at me for a minute and I can see a flash of…something across his face. And then he smiles at me weakly as he squeezes my hand. "So how're Jyou and Matt?"
"Good." I tell him, even though those two are the farthest thing from my mind. I'm far more interested in just looking at him, making sure that he really is there and that I'm not imagining this. "I'm driving them both crazy though. Matt swears that if I say "Daisuke said…" one more time he's going to clobber me with his favorite skillet."
Daisuke shoots me a smile, but it doesn't reach those dark brown eyes of his. And as I sit there confused, he pulls his hand out of mine and turns his head to stare off towards the window. God, I'm no good at this. I could never read people well. And I haven't had much sleep in the last three days, I've been so worried. Jyou threatened to drug me if I didn't sleep through the night tonight.
"What?" I finally ask, hating that vulnerable note in my voice. "What did I say wrong?"
"Nothin'." He returns distantly. "It's just me."
"Are you tired?"
"No."
"Well, then what is it? Maybe I can help." I say quietly.
"Quit being so damned nice. You don't have to be, you know." He retorts almost angrily.
"I don't?" I have no idea what's going on here, but I don't like it. What did I say?
"No, you don't. Listen, I really appreciate the worry and stuff, but we both know that you probably shouldn't have worried so much. I mean, I've been buggin' the hell out of you for who knows how long. And just now I was thinking about it, and I figured I probably wasn't being very fair to you, pestering you like this all the time. I'm sure you've got other things you'd rather do then put up with a tagalong like me. And I'm sure there are a lot more intelligent people out there that you'd rather talk to." He breaks off and turns his head to the side and stares silently across the room, avoiding my gaze. He can't possibly think that…He doesn't believe that I actually think that, does he?
Well, I take a deep breath. If our friendship's going to end, I'd rather it be over the truth. "Daisuke, you remember what you told me in the building? You told me that Jyou and Matt were better together than they were apart, and that that was the mark of real love." His gaze flips to mine and I watch as he winces, he opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. "Daisuke, I'm a better person when I'm with you." I say quietly.
***
At times - I do believe I am strong
So someone tell me why, why, why
Do I feel stupid
And I came undone
***
"Daisuke, I'm a better person when I'm with you." If I could fall off the bed in shock, I would. But there are too many tubes connected to me.
"What the hell?" I manage to get out in a somewhat strangled yelp. "Koushiro, what are you talking about? You love Jyou." I remind him. Not one of my smarter moves, exactly. But then, me and smarts don't often go well together in the same sentence.
"I thought I did. But I don't. I don't even know him that well, really." Huh?
"No. You love Jyou. He's smart, tall, and reliable, remember?"
"And you're intelligent, funny, and short. Your point?" He snaps back.
"You just said that if you told Matt one more stupid thing I said he was going to clobber you with a skillet." I yell back. I am not going to cry.
"What?! What the hell are you talking about? Matt only threatened to hit me because I keep talking about you. You know, they don't know a lot about you. They don't know any of your jokes--by the way Jyou loved that Tuna one--and they don't know that you're going to college next year."
"Why should they?" I ask confused. I don't understand what's going on here. "I'm not even sure how I made that happen. Me. Moron Motomiya in college. Of course they didn't know I was going. Who would?" I snap back. Koushiro stands up and glares down at me. I glare back. He reaches over then with his finger and his thumb and thwacks my forehead. "Ow! What the hell was that for?"
"For not realizing just how smart you are. Damn it, Daisuke. You're incredibly intelligent. Jyou doesn't even understand when I start going on about surface integrals. He gets this glazed look on his face. Same for my mother and my father, and just about everyone but you. You can follow what I'm saying. You find it interesting. And I'm not going to let you sit there and convince yourself that you're somehow not smart enough for college because it's just not true." Damn. I am going to cry.
"Ah man, don't do that Daisuke." I turn to look over at him and he's got the beginnings of tears in his eyes as well. "I'm sorry. I'm not any good at this. I don't think of you as a tagalong or a pest. Couldn't be farther from the truth. You get me outside, you get me laughing. You get me to just have fun. I love hanging out with you, and I can't believe it took me so long to figure out that it's because I love you." He breaks off.
"You…you love me?" He nods almost guiltily.
"Someone pinch me, I have to be dreaming. What drugs exactly have they been giving me? Because I swear to god it sounds like the guy I'm in love with just told me that he loves me too." I give the IV in my wrist an odd glance.
"You love me?" I turn and look over at Koushiro. He looks so awed and timid at the same time. I swallow hard and nod. And then he reaches over and grabs my hand again, a big grin on his face. He loves me. I can feel a huge grin on mine too as he reaches over with his other hand and ruffles my hair.
"Say, you hear the one about the blonde who walked into a bar?" He's already laughing so I join in. We really are better together than we are apart.