I don't own this show or any of its characters. In fact, I've only seen it three times. This is all written from the view of one individual, the tenses are just all over the place. All comments are welcome, AND all bad grammar was done on purpose…Bet you never heard that excuse before.
Surviving Silence
Talking he could do. Talking was a good thing, especially when it was talking with 'him'. God he missed him. Never thought he could miss anyone that much, hadn't thought it was possible. He was proven wrong, and now they could talk, but only talk.
His voice had been music to his ears, just listening to him allowed him to forget his troubles, forget his problems, if only for a few seconds. Then it was that very voice that brought reality crashing back around him. He wanted to come up and see him, when he was paroled out of that shit hole. And god he wanted to see him. He would give anything just to see him, smell him, touch him, be with him, be inside him. He missed him. He never, ever, missed anyone, and he missed him. And now he wanted to come visit, but he couldn't let that happen, not now, not like this.
This place, where he was now, it wasn't like back there. I'll survive he said. No worries, I'm a survivor. Oh, and he never lied, he would survive. He was surviving, but not with Tobias. He couldn't let Tobias come see him, see what was happening to him. He loved him. He had to give him the life that he deserved, not one with fuck-up Chris Keller. Not a life with a piece of shit. He loved him, so he had to send him away. He couldn't drag him down, he couldn't let him see him like this.
I want you out of my fucking life, and he had told him that, but he didn't mean it. God, please don't leave, but don't come visit. Don't see him now, just remember who he was and how much he loved you, and please god believe him when he said he didn't want you. Believe him and stay away, and hate him, because he wanted the best for the man he loved, and he couldn't see him like this. He would survive, live, and love in silence, bitter loneliness, and pain, just don't see him like this. God Tobias, I love you. I just don't want you to see me like this.
Any comments?