-----------------------
~ * Sora * ~
Matt. I doodled his name in the corner of my paper. I was sitting at my desk, trying to write a letter to my dad, who was on a business trip to some small, unknown city in Hokkaido. I sighed and stared out of my window. Two birds perched on the branch of the oak tree snuggled close together, chirping, letting the world know of their happiness.
Two forty-five. I had only fifteen minutes until I had to meet Matt. It seemed as if it would be a century before the numbers on the digital clock would turn to Three o' clock. I drummed my fingers on my desk impatiently. Time always passed so slow when you wanted it to go fast. I tapped my foot on the floor.
There was nothing to do. Nothing! Then, I remembered Tai. I had promised to call him, but...that had been a week ago. I shrugged. Better late than never!
I picked up my teal phone and dialed the numbers that I had stored in my head. I put the phone to my ear, hearing the phone ring once.
Twice.
Three.
Four.
Just as I was about to hang up, I heard the click of the phone being picked up on the other end.
"Hello?" came a deep and solemn voice. It had to be Tai's dad.
"Hi, may I speak to Tai?"
"Hi, Sora, I'm Tai."
I was stunned. This person was Tai?! Well, now that I came to think about it, I hadn't been really hanging around with him lately. I could think of nothing else, so I said, playfully: "How'd you know it was me?"
"I always know when it's you."
Still, that same, dreary tone in his voice.
"Tai, is something wrong?"
"No."
I scratched my head where it had been itching. Whenever something was wrong with Tai, you could always tell. Something was wrong. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
"You sure?"
"Yes."
Something about the way he said 'yes' kept me from pursuing any further answers. This situation would have to wait for later, now I had more important things to worry about.
"Um, I was just wondering, what's Matt's interests? You know, like his favorite color? I need to know for future purposes..."
Silence.
"Uh, hello, Tai?"
More silence. Maybe he got disconnected, or maybe he was talking with his sister, Kari.
"Tai?"
I heard shuffling from the other end, then footsteps.
"What's wrong, Tai?" Kari's voice come into the phone. "why are you just holding the phone there? You look like you're mad at it or something."
Then, there was a loud click, and the disconnection drone was all that there was left. I stared at the phone in confusion. Tai, mad? At what? What had I done?
I looked at the clock again. Three o' five. THREE O' FIVE?! I ran towards the front hallway, and hastily shoved my shoes onto my feet.
"Sora, honey? Where are you going?!" my Mom called from the couch in our living room. I twisted my head around to face her.
"I'm going out! Just to the park! See ya!"
I twisted the doorknob, ran myself through the doorway, and slammed the door behind me, making the windows in the kitchen shake.
----------------------------
I smoothed my dress out. I had chosen a white, smooth, silk dress. Okay, maybe I was overdoing it a little, we were supposed to be studying for math, but I couldn't help it. I was finally meeting alone with Matt. I had spent hours just thinking about this day. Luckily, when I had arrived at the park, Matt hadn't been there. I stared at the glittering sparkles hidden in my dress. I had been waiting for quite a while, was he going to show up?
I fingered the slight rip in the gown. It had happened a few weeks ago, when I had tripped over a crack in the floor. Thank goodness Tai had caught me, or it would have been ripped all of the way. I continued to stare at the small tear. Yes, it had been Tai that caught me. Tai. He had always been there for me, now that I thought about it. Every single trip in life, metaphorical or not, had always been right beside Tai, where he had always been there to 'catch' me.
"Hi Sora! Sorry I'm late!" she heard Matt's youthful voice come from in front of her. It was nothing like Tai's voice, deep and soothing. It was more of a high, uplifting, and cheerful tone.
"Oh, shoot!" I said, snapping my fingers. "I forgot my math book!"
Matt's expression changed to match mine. "Me too!" He grinned, sheepishly. "I don't really feel like going back to get it though..."
I smiled. "Me neither."
There was a silence, as I stopped to listen to the sweet chirping of the birds above our heads. I sat on the long, wooden bench, motioning for Matt to join me. His face turned pink, as he sat down beside me. Was I repulsive, or was he embarassed? I turned my face to look at his. Matt's face was round and soft, gentle looking and innocent, while Tai's features were rough and jagged in a way, the kind of features that gave you a reassuring feeling that you were safe with him. Both were charming, in their own special way.
Matt's face was turned to the sky, observing the white, fluffy clouds. His hands rested upon the bench, supporting his weight as he leaned back. Just looking at him was pure rapture. He turned his face towards me, looking at me with those beautiful deep blue eyes.
He gave me a small, mischevious grin. I stared at him in confusion as he moved closer to me. Oh god, was he going to kiss m-
Before I knew it, I was lying on the grass, with Matt on top of me. He grinned again.
"Wanna wrestle?"
I laughed and rolled down the small hillside. He rolled after me. My whole world was spinning! Round and round, the ground was at the top of my vision, then the bottom of it. The cool feeling of the grass was soothing on my bare legs. From the side of my eye, I caught Matt catching up. I increased my pace down the hill, coming to rest at the bottom. He came to a stop beside me. I laughed again, and gasped for breath. We were both lying there together in the grass, right beside each other, it reminded me of the times when Tai and I were young children.
We finally quieted down. The bumblebees buzzed in the flowers around us, making a merry melody as they went about their work. The nearby stream trickled gently. I turned to see Matt looking at me once more. In his eyes, there was a warm, comforting message. One that I had waited so long to see. He loved me, it was as simple as that. We both loved each other, and had been denying it for so long. Yet finally, in the bloom of our youth, the feeling had blossomed, revealing itself for the first time.
I shifted my body to move closer to him in the grass, and I put my arm around him.
-------------------------------
Lovers in the long grass
look above them
only they can see
where the clouds are going
only to discover
dust and sunlight
ever make the sky so blue
Afternoon is hazy
river flowing
all around the sounds
moving closer to them
telling them the story
told by flora
dreams they never knew
Some they know as passion
some as freedom
some they know as love
and the way it leaves them
Summer snowflake
for a season
when the sky above is blue
when the sky above is blue
Lying in the long grass
close beside her
giving her the name
of the one the moon loves
this will be the day she
will remember
when she knew his heart
was...
loving in the long grass
close beside her
whispering of love
and the way it leaves them
lying in the long grass
in the sunlight
they believe it's true love
and from all around them
flora's secret
telling them of love
and the way it breathes
and
looking up from eyes of
amaranthine
they can see the sky is blue
knowing that their love
is true
dreams they never knew
and the sky above is blue...
-------------------------
Matt and I decided to walk home together after that wonderful day at the park.
"Sorry your dress got dirty."
I looked at him, bewildered, then, I turned my eyes to my dress. Grass stains dotted it as if they were meant to be there, it almost gave the dress a new pattern.
"Don't worry," I said. "I'm an expert at getting out stains!"
He looked at me and raised an eyebrow, "Then could you get the grape juice stain out of my white pants?"
I laughed, as did he. His laugh sounded like chimes on the breeze, different tones that formed one song. He suddenly stopped his laughter as he turned around to look behind him. His eyes narrowed in discomfort. I, too, looked at the figure behind us. It was almost unrecognizable at first, hunched over and shadowed. Then, as I squinted, I could make out the familiar shadow of my close friend, Tai. A darkness seemed to radiate from him. A shiver ran up my spine. Whatever was wrong with Tai was very disturbing.
~ * ~
-------------------------------
~ * Tai * ~
I had seen them kiss. While taking Kari to the park, I saw them. Lying there, as if there were no other souls in the world to watch, I saw them share a loving kiss. Lying the grass, the stream running in the background, the flowers surrounding them, it was as if it had all been set up, their first kiss, in a perfect setting. It was disgusting.
I had covered Kari's eyes and turned a corner, taking her to the end of the sidewalk, just before the crosswalk. I told her to finish going the rest of her way to her friends house, that I had some business to take care of. I hated lying to her, but I needed to be alone. She had said yes, I think she understood. She was a kind sister.
As I turned the corner again, I saw them walking together, hand in hand, laughing. Yes: laughing. I couldn't believe it. In one day, they had fallen for each other. Remember how I said that I never cry? I felt like crying now. I felt like letting out uncontrolable tears. I could already feel them well up in my eyes. I blinked them back. I had to be strong for myself. Weakness was certainly not a virtue. My throat tightened with the effort of holding back the scream that was building. I wanted to scream. Scream with frustration, rage, sorrow, anger; scream with a passion, neverending, a tortured scream. My life was over. It was not worth living any longer.
~ * ~
--------------------------------
~ * Sora * ~
I walked down the street towards the tennis courts. I had my racquet resting on my shoulder. I whistled as I walked at a brisk pace. My short skirt allowed the breeze to run across my legs, which was a nice refreshing break from the hot, summer sun. I knew that I would feel sticky after practice, that always happened, no matter what the season! I closed my eyes and continued walking along. It was a beautiful day!
Suddenly, I felt a strong grip on my bare arm. I opened my eyes to find a boy beside me, face to the ground, and let off a foreboding feeling.
It was Tai.
My skin prickled with goose bumps at his touch. His hand was as cold as ice.
"Sora." he murmured, softly. I gulped and sucked in a deep breath.
"Yes, Tai?" I said, attempting to hide my fear behind a cheerful tone. He stayed silent for a while, maybe thinking something over.
"I saw you with Matt yesterday."
I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise on end. He knew.
"And, I was wondering..." he continued, turning his face towards mine, "...do you love him?"
I locked my eyes with his. Their warm, brown seemed to have vanished, replacing it with a steely dark color. He wasn't as I remembered him. He seemed dark and withdrawn. He left his hand on my arm. In his eyes were a feeling, so deep it was hard to understand. To even attempt to explain it would be impossible. Some suffering sat there, an anguish. I didn't want to tell him the truth, I truely didn't. But something told me that that was precisely what he wanted to know. I mentally gathered my courage to say what I had to say, to break this poor boy's heart.
"Yes, Tai. I do."
Once again, he lowered his gaze to the sidewalk, removing his hand from my arm. I felt the warmth return to it. He began to walk in the opposite direction of the way I was headed.
"Wait, Tai!" I yelled after his retreating form, "we can still be friends!"
He turned to face me. "I only want what's best for you. I would only be a pebble in Matt's shoe." he said, then continued to walk away. I watched his figure until it was a mere dot on the horizon, a black shadow against the light blue sky. A film of sweat covered my skin, and practice hadn't even started yet.
~ * ~
-------------------------
~ * Matt * ~
My finger slowly made it's way to the doorbell. It had been three days since I last met with Sora at Odaiba park. That day would be in my memory forever. I checked my watch. It was seven o' clock PM.
I pressed the button, hearing the familiar ring. I heard a lock being taken from it's place in the wall, and then, the doorknob clicking as it was turned. Sora stood in front of me, hair in a rumpled mess. I gave her my most winning smile. Her eyes widened as she saw me. I guess she hadn't been expecting me. She panicked.
"Oh, Matt! I didn't know you were coming! Sorry I look so messed up, I slept in today until twelve, and I've been reading a book all day, it was so engrossing, I didn't even see what time it was!"
She was dressed in a pink, home t-shirt and some old, faded shorts. To tell you the truth, she looked quite beautiful.
"It's all the same to me." I said. She visibly relaxed.
"Come on in!" she exclaimed, making a gesture to the couch. "Make yourself at home!" She moved towards it herself.
I walked into the warm hallway, fanning myself. As if she was reading my mind, Sora said:
"Sorry it's so hot in here, I haven't turned on the air conditioning yet."
"It's okay." I replied, settling myself down on the soft couch. "So, what book are you reading?" I said, trying to make conversation. She pulled a book from off of the small stand beside her and showed it to me. Wizard's First Rule. She looked at it fondly. The cover was a crimson color with gold lettering on the front. It was well worn, and looked close to falling apart.
"I've never read it before..." I said, embarassed. I could feel my ears go hot. She smiled at me, knowingly.
"That's okay, most haven't."
"So, what's it about?" I said, desperate for conversation.
"It's about a love between two who are destined for two seperate worlds, yet they overcome the obstacles to meet each other, and love each other, for the rest of their lives." she looked at me with those intense auburn eyes, "It used to be Tai's favorite book."
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, and looked out of the window. The moon was full, and lit up the usually dark sky.
"I met Tai yesterday. He seemed depressed and sad. It was scary, the way he talked, and looked at me," she paused and shivered, "he asked me if I loved you."
I stiffened. The way she described Tai had been excactly the way I had seen him on the last day of school. It had frightened me as well.
I found Sora close beside me, her head resting on my shoulder. She reached for the lamp and turned the light off. It was pitch black in the room.
"I do love you, Matt." she whispered into my ear, her hot breath coming upon me. I held her in an embrace. She put her lips to mine. We shared a soft, passionate kiss. She giggled, and rolled underneath me. The night would be long.
~ * ~
-----------------------------
Once, as my heart remembers
all the stars were fallen embers.
Once, when night seemed forever
I was with you.
Once, in the care of morning
in the air was all belonging.
Once, when the day was dawning
I was with you.
How far are we from morning,
how far are we
and the stars shining through the darkness,
falling in the air.
Once, as the night was leaving
into us our dreams were weaving.
Once, all dreams were worth keeping.
I was with you.
Once, when our hearts were singing,
I was with you...
--------------------------
~ * Tai * ~
I stood at the top of the tall, twenty story apartment building. The sun shone down from above, beating it's rays onto my back. A slight breeze came, ruffling my hair. I inhaled deeply. Kari had been wondering why I had been acting so strange. She had asked what was wrong. People had been asking me that a lot lately. Everything was wrong. Everything. Ever since the day Sora had come into the classroom, face flushed and face in a wide grin. She told me that she was going on a date with Matt. That was when everything went wrong.
I walked towards the edge of the building. The height was almost dizzying. It was perfect for what I was about to do.
What I said to Sora was true. All I wanted was the best for her, and me being around wouldn't be good. Matt would want me out of the way, but rather than him having to do it himself, I had decided that I should do it for him.
Whoever said 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' hadn't gone through it. To fully devote yourself to a single being, one of such perfection as beauty as that of Sora, was pure rapture in itself. To leave it was eternal torture.
The toes of my shoes hung dangerously off the edge of the building.
I looked around at the world. White clouds dotted the sky. The hustle and bustle of the street below couldn't be heard from where I was standing. It was dead silent.
This world no longer held a purpose for me.
I jumped, leaving behind all the pain of life, and love. Feeling the sweet intoxication of the fall.
~ * ~
----------------------------
I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
I dream of fire
These dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
Her shadows play in the shape of a man's desire
This desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this
And as she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothing's as it seems
I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to the empty skies above
I close my eyes, this rare perfume
Is the sweet intoxication of her love
I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
Sweet desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this
Sweet desert rose
This memory of Eden haunts us all
This desert flower, this rare perfume
Is the sweet intoxication of the fall
--------------------------
~ * Sora * ~
Matt. I doodled his name in the corner of my paper. I was sitting at my desk, trying to write a letter to my dad, who was on a business trip to some small, unknown city in Hokkaido. I sighed and stared out of my window. Two birds perched on the branch of the oak tree snuggled close together, chirping, letting the world know of their happiness.
Two forty-five. I had only fifteen minutes until I had to meet Matt. It seemed as if it would be a century before the numbers on the digital clock would turn to Three o' clock. I drummed my fingers on my desk impatiently. Time always passed so slow when you wanted it to go fast. I tapped my foot on the floor.
There was nothing to do. Nothing! Then, I remembered Tai. I had promised to call him, but...that had been a week ago. I shrugged. Better late than never!
I picked up my teal phone and dialed the numbers that I had stored in my head. I put the phone to my ear, hearing the phone ring once.
Twice.
Three.
Four.
Just as I was about to hang up, I heard the click of the phone being picked up on the other end.
"Hello?" came a deep and solemn voice. It had to be Tai's dad.
"Hi, may I speak to Tai?"
"Hi, Sora, I'm Tai."
I was stunned. This person was Tai?! Well, now that I came to think about it, I hadn't been really hanging around with him lately. I could think of nothing else, so I said, playfully: "How'd you know it was me?"
"I always know when it's you."
Still, that same, dreary tone in his voice.
"Tai, is something wrong?"
"No."
I scratched my head where it had been itching. Whenever something was wrong with Tai, you could always tell. Something was wrong. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.
"You sure?"
"Yes."
Something about the way he said 'yes' kept me from pursuing any further answers. This situation would have to wait for later, now I had more important things to worry about.
"Um, I was just wondering, what's Matt's interests? You know, like his favorite color? I need to know for future purposes..."
Silence.
"Uh, hello, Tai?"
More silence. Maybe he got disconnected, or maybe he was talking with his sister, Kari.
"Tai?"
I heard shuffling from the other end, then footsteps.
"What's wrong, Tai?" Kari's voice come into the phone. "why are you just holding the phone there? You look like you're mad at it or something."
Then, there was a loud click, and the disconnection drone was all that there was left. I stared at the phone in confusion. Tai, mad? At what? What had I done?
I looked at the clock again. Three o' five. THREE O' FIVE?! I ran towards the front hallway, and hastily shoved my shoes onto my feet.
"Sora, honey? Where are you going?!" my Mom called from the couch in our living room. I twisted my head around to face her.
"I'm going out! Just to the park! See ya!"
I twisted the doorknob, ran myself through the doorway, and slammed the door behind me, making the windows in the kitchen shake.
----------------------------
I smoothed my dress out. I had chosen a white, smooth, silk dress. Okay, maybe I was overdoing it a little, we were supposed to be studying for math, but I couldn't help it. I was finally meeting alone with Matt. I had spent hours just thinking about this day. Luckily, when I had arrived at the park, Matt hadn't been there. I stared at the glittering sparkles hidden in my dress. I had been waiting for quite a while, was he going to show up?
I fingered the slight rip in the gown. It had happened a few weeks ago, when I had tripped over a crack in the floor. Thank goodness Tai had caught me, or it would have been ripped all of the way. I continued to stare at the small tear. Yes, it had been Tai that caught me. Tai. He had always been there for me, now that I thought about it. Every single trip in life, metaphorical or not, had always been right beside Tai, where he had always been there to 'catch' me.
"Hi Sora! Sorry I'm late!" she heard Matt's youthful voice come from in front of her. It was nothing like Tai's voice, deep and soothing. It was more of a high, uplifting, and cheerful tone.
"Oh, shoot!" I said, snapping my fingers. "I forgot my math book!"
Matt's expression changed to match mine. "Me too!" He grinned, sheepishly. "I don't really feel like going back to get it though..."
I smiled. "Me neither."
There was a silence, as I stopped to listen to the sweet chirping of the birds above our heads. I sat on the long, wooden bench, motioning for Matt to join me. His face turned pink, as he sat down beside me. Was I repulsive, or was he embarassed? I turned my face to look at his. Matt's face was round and soft, gentle looking and innocent, while Tai's features were rough and jagged in a way, the kind of features that gave you a reassuring feeling that you were safe with him. Both were charming, in their own special way.
Matt's face was turned to the sky, observing the white, fluffy clouds. His hands rested upon the bench, supporting his weight as he leaned back. Just looking at him was pure rapture. He turned his face towards me, looking at me with those beautiful deep blue eyes.
He gave me a small, mischevious grin. I stared at him in confusion as he moved closer to me. Oh god, was he going to kiss m-
Before I knew it, I was lying on the grass, with Matt on top of me. He grinned again.
"Wanna wrestle?"
I laughed and rolled down the small hillside. He rolled after me. My whole world was spinning! Round and round, the ground was at the top of my vision, then the bottom of it. The cool feeling of the grass was soothing on my bare legs. From the side of my eye, I caught Matt catching up. I increased my pace down the hill, coming to rest at the bottom. He came to a stop beside me. I laughed again, and gasped for breath. We were both lying there together in the grass, right beside each other, it reminded me of the times when Tai and I were young children.
We finally quieted down. The bumblebees buzzed in the flowers around us, making a merry melody as they went about their work. The nearby stream trickled gently. I turned to see Matt looking at me once more. In his eyes, there was a warm, comforting message. One that I had waited so long to see. He loved me, it was as simple as that. We both loved each other, and had been denying it for so long. Yet finally, in the bloom of our youth, the feeling had blossomed, revealing itself for the first time.
I shifted my body to move closer to him in the grass, and I put my arm around him.
-------------------------------
Lovers in the long grass
look above them
only they can see
where the clouds are going
only to discover
dust and sunlight
ever make the sky so blue
Afternoon is hazy
river flowing
all around the sounds
moving closer to them
telling them the story
told by flora
dreams they never knew
Some they know as passion
some as freedom
some they know as love
and the way it leaves them
Summer snowflake
for a season
when the sky above is blue
when the sky above is blue
Lying in the long grass
close beside her
giving her the name
of the one the moon loves
this will be the day she
will remember
when she knew his heart
was...
loving in the long grass
close beside her
whispering of love
and the way it leaves them
lying in the long grass
in the sunlight
they believe it's true love
and from all around them
flora's secret
telling them of love
and the way it breathes
and
looking up from eyes of
amaranthine
they can see the sky is blue
knowing that their love
is true
dreams they never knew
and the sky above is blue...
-------------------------
Matt and I decided to walk home together after that wonderful day at the park.
"Sorry your dress got dirty."
I looked at him, bewildered, then, I turned my eyes to my dress. Grass stains dotted it as if they were meant to be there, it almost gave the dress a new pattern.
"Don't worry," I said. "I'm an expert at getting out stains!"
He looked at me and raised an eyebrow, "Then could you get the grape juice stain out of my white pants?"
I laughed, as did he. His laugh sounded like chimes on the breeze, different tones that formed one song. He suddenly stopped his laughter as he turned around to look behind him. His eyes narrowed in discomfort. I, too, looked at the figure behind us. It was almost unrecognizable at first, hunched over and shadowed. Then, as I squinted, I could make out the familiar shadow of my close friend, Tai. A darkness seemed to radiate from him. A shiver ran up my spine. Whatever was wrong with Tai was very disturbing.
~ * ~
-------------------------------
~ * Tai * ~
I had seen them kiss. While taking Kari to the park, I saw them. Lying there, as if there were no other souls in the world to watch, I saw them share a loving kiss. Lying the grass, the stream running in the background, the flowers surrounding them, it was as if it had all been set up, their first kiss, in a perfect setting. It was disgusting.
I had covered Kari's eyes and turned a corner, taking her to the end of the sidewalk, just before the crosswalk. I told her to finish going the rest of her way to her friends house, that I had some business to take care of. I hated lying to her, but I needed to be alone. She had said yes, I think she understood. She was a kind sister.
As I turned the corner again, I saw them walking together, hand in hand, laughing. Yes: laughing. I couldn't believe it. In one day, they had fallen for each other. Remember how I said that I never cry? I felt like crying now. I felt like letting out uncontrolable tears. I could already feel them well up in my eyes. I blinked them back. I had to be strong for myself. Weakness was certainly not a virtue. My throat tightened with the effort of holding back the scream that was building. I wanted to scream. Scream with frustration, rage, sorrow, anger; scream with a passion, neverending, a tortured scream. My life was over. It was not worth living any longer.
~ * ~
--------------------------------
~ * Sora * ~
I walked down the street towards the tennis courts. I had my racquet resting on my shoulder. I whistled as I walked at a brisk pace. My short skirt allowed the breeze to run across my legs, which was a nice refreshing break from the hot, summer sun. I knew that I would feel sticky after practice, that always happened, no matter what the season! I closed my eyes and continued walking along. It was a beautiful day!
Suddenly, I felt a strong grip on my bare arm. I opened my eyes to find a boy beside me, face to the ground, and let off a foreboding feeling.
It was Tai.
My skin prickled with goose bumps at his touch. His hand was as cold as ice.
"Sora." he murmured, softly. I gulped and sucked in a deep breath.
"Yes, Tai?" I said, attempting to hide my fear behind a cheerful tone. He stayed silent for a while, maybe thinking something over.
"I saw you with Matt yesterday."
I felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise on end. He knew.
"And, I was wondering..." he continued, turning his face towards mine, "...do you love him?"
I locked my eyes with his. Their warm, brown seemed to have vanished, replacing it with a steely dark color. He wasn't as I remembered him. He seemed dark and withdrawn. He left his hand on my arm. In his eyes were a feeling, so deep it was hard to understand. To even attempt to explain it would be impossible. Some suffering sat there, an anguish. I didn't want to tell him the truth, I truely didn't. But something told me that that was precisely what he wanted to know. I mentally gathered my courage to say what I had to say, to break this poor boy's heart.
"Yes, Tai. I do."
Once again, he lowered his gaze to the sidewalk, removing his hand from my arm. I felt the warmth return to it. He began to walk in the opposite direction of the way I was headed.
"Wait, Tai!" I yelled after his retreating form, "we can still be friends!"
He turned to face me. "I only want what's best for you. I would only be a pebble in Matt's shoe." he said, then continued to walk away. I watched his figure until it was a mere dot on the horizon, a black shadow against the light blue sky. A film of sweat covered my skin, and practice hadn't even started yet.
~ * ~
-------------------------
~ * Matt * ~
My finger slowly made it's way to the doorbell. It had been three days since I last met with Sora at Odaiba park. That day would be in my memory forever. I checked my watch. It was seven o' clock PM.
I pressed the button, hearing the familiar ring. I heard a lock being taken from it's place in the wall, and then, the doorknob clicking as it was turned. Sora stood in front of me, hair in a rumpled mess. I gave her my most winning smile. Her eyes widened as she saw me. I guess she hadn't been expecting me. She panicked.
"Oh, Matt! I didn't know you were coming! Sorry I look so messed up, I slept in today until twelve, and I've been reading a book all day, it was so engrossing, I didn't even see what time it was!"
She was dressed in a pink, home t-shirt and some old, faded shorts. To tell you the truth, she looked quite beautiful.
"It's all the same to me." I said. She visibly relaxed.
"Come on in!" she exclaimed, making a gesture to the couch. "Make yourself at home!" She moved towards it herself.
I walked into the warm hallway, fanning myself. As if she was reading my mind, Sora said:
"Sorry it's so hot in here, I haven't turned on the air conditioning yet."
"It's okay." I replied, settling myself down on the soft couch. "So, what book are you reading?" I said, trying to make conversation. She pulled a book from off of the small stand beside her and showed it to me. Wizard's First Rule. She looked at it fondly. The cover was a crimson color with gold lettering on the front. It was well worn, and looked close to falling apart.
"I've never read it before..." I said, embarassed. I could feel my ears go hot. She smiled at me, knowingly.
"That's okay, most haven't."
"So, what's it about?" I said, desperate for conversation.
"It's about a love between two who are destined for two seperate worlds, yet they overcome the obstacles to meet each other, and love each other, for the rest of their lives." she looked at me with those intense auburn eyes, "It used to be Tai's favorite book."
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, and looked out of the window. The moon was full, and lit up the usually dark sky.
"I met Tai yesterday. He seemed depressed and sad. It was scary, the way he talked, and looked at me," she paused and shivered, "he asked me if I loved you."
I stiffened. The way she described Tai had been excactly the way I had seen him on the last day of school. It had frightened me as well.
I found Sora close beside me, her head resting on my shoulder. She reached for the lamp and turned the light off. It was pitch black in the room.
"I do love you, Matt." she whispered into my ear, her hot breath coming upon me. I held her in an embrace. She put her lips to mine. We shared a soft, passionate kiss. She giggled, and rolled underneath me. The night would be long.
~ * ~
-----------------------------
Once, as my heart remembers
all the stars were fallen embers.
Once, when night seemed forever
I was with you.
Once, in the care of morning
in the air was all belonging.
Once, when the day was dawning
I was with you.
How far are we from morning,
how far are we
and the stars shining through the darkness,
falling in the air.
Once, as the night was leaving
into us our dreams were weaving.
Once, all dreams were worth keeping.
I was with you.
Once, when our hearts were singing,
I was with you...
--------------------------
~ * Tai * ~
I stood at the top of the tall, twenty story apartment building. The sun shone down from above, beating it's rays onto my back. A slight breeze came, ruffling my hair. I inhaled deeply. Kari had been wondering why I had been acting so strange. She had asked what was wrong. People had been asking me that a lot lately. Everything was wrong. Everything. Ever since the day Sora had come into the classroom, face flushed and face in a wide grin. She told me that she was going on a date with Matt. That was when everything went wrong.
I walked towards the edge of the building. The height was almost dizzying. It was perfect for what I was about to do.
What I said to Sora was true. All I wanted was the best for her, and me being around wouldn't be good. Matt would want me out of the way, but rather than him having to do it himself, I had decided that I should do it for him.
Whoever said 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' hadn't gone through it. To fully devote yourself to a single being, one of such perfection as beauty as that of Sora, was pure rapture in itself. To leave it was eternal torture.
The toes of my shoes hung dangerously off the edge of the building.
I looked around at the world. White clouds dotted the sky. The hustle and bustle of the street below couldn't be heard from where I was standing. It was dead silent.
This world no longer held a purpose for me.
I jumped, leaving behind all the pain of life, and love. Feeling the sweet intoxication of the fall.
~ * ~
----------------------------
I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
I dream of fire
These dreams are tied to a horse that will never tire
And in the flames
Her shadows play in the shape of a man's desire
This desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this
And as she turns
This way she moves in the logic of all my dreams
This fire burns
I realize that nothing's as it seems
I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
I dream of rain
I lift my gaze to the empty skies above
I close my eyes, this rare perfume
Is the sweet intoxication of her love
I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in pain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand
Sweet desert rose
Each of her veils, a secret promise
This desert flower
No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this
Sweet desert rose
This memory of Eden haunts us all
This desert flower, this rare perfume
Is the sweet intoxication of the fall
--------------------------