Lasagna 2
Summary: the x-men try to have a dinner party.
Disclaimer: I don't own the x-men, or the guy cable shoots. I don't think Marvel would want this version of Rachel. I do own Cathy. The various representations of some of my friends that show up belong to themselves.
"" = talking
** = sound affects
*DING DONG*
Scott answered the door.
"Who are you?
"I'm Batwoman, bringer of Lasagna.
"I'm Lasagna, bringer of Salad.
"I'm Salad, Bringer of the Insane Bunny Rabbit.
"Isn't it the evil rabbit? Scott asked.
The Insane Bunny Rabbit slapped him.
"NO! I'M THE INSANE BUNNY RABBIT! AND I BROUGHT CARROT
CAKE!
"Um, thank you? Scott said, slowly backing away from
the rabbit.
"Who is it? Jean asked from the kitchen.
"Just Batwoman and some former villians.
"Oh, okay.
Magneto walks up to the door before he can close it.
"I saw Charles in the living room, and I heard the music-
"I'll give you fifty bucks if you don't say
anything to Jean.
"-and I was wondering if I could come in and watch Blue's
Clue's.
He finished, giving Scott a wierd look. Scott slipped a hundred
dollar bill into his hand as he came in. Rachel ran up to Magneto
and hugged him.
"Uncle Eric! Jean walked into the room.
"Why'd you call him uncle Eric?
"'Cause I saw him doin' the same thing with Mr.
professor that I saw you doin' with uncle Remy.
"JEAN?!
"Well, he is better in bed than you could ever dream to be.
Rogue and Remy walk into the room.
"You slept with my wife?!
"What?! Sugah, is that true?
"Well, chere, it was...I mean dat...
Rogue punched him and he went flying into the wall.
"By dose! Remy t'ink dat yo' broke his dose!
He yelled, and started crying. By dose. By beautiful dose!
"Is Eric here? Shut up out there! You made me miss the
second clue! Professor X yelled from the living room.
Magneto and Rachel ran giggleing into the living room.
"Um, Scott said hesitantly, If we could all-
*DING DONG*
Kurt ports in to answer the door, but it imedietly jumped
on by Batwoman.
"THE REAL KURT!
Scott answers the door, to find Cable holding up two people.
"Dad, I found these two sneaking into the mansion. Can I
shoot em? Huh, can I? PLEASE?
"Sure.
"HEY!
He shoots and misses, hitting the guy that used to play Ben on
Guiding Light in the chest.
"Darn, out of plasma bursts.
"Oh well. Who are you, anyway?
"I'm Cathy, and that's Jarrod.
"Um, you wanna come in for dinner?
"Sure.
Cable drops them, and they all go into the living room.
"We just figured out blue's clue's, we just
figured out blue's clue's, we just figured out blue's
clue's, because we're really smart, yeah!
Professor x and magneto sang.
Dinner's ready!
They all go into the dinning room. Rachel runs up behind
Professor x and starts pushing him.
he sctreamed as he went
flying through a window.
Jean comes up to the window looking upset.
T went through all the trouble to order dinner, I even
BROKE A NAIL dialing, and this is the thanks I get? You go out to
play in the snow?
Well, could you at least- she leaves -help me
in? Damn.
-dinning room-
Were are Kurt and Batwoman?
HELP ME! Kurt screams from the closet.
Rogue opens the door and Kurt tumbles out.
MEIN GOT! Where'd she get a nulifier?
He pulls off the bracelet and ports out of the room,
Batwoman chasing after him.
Come back! I LOVE YOU! She screams, and runs out of
the room.
Um, let's start by going around the table and each
saying one thing that we're thankfull for. Scott says,
Sounding like Sean Connery, Lasagna yells,
Everyone stares at him.
What? I'm thankful for cheese.
Bobby, having seen what happened to Kurt, gets up and goes to the
other side of the table.
Remy goes next.
I'b thankful dat I haben't killed anybody dis
year.
She gets up and starts beating Scott.
S NOT RABBIT' IT'S INSANE BUNNY
RABBIT! She screams, and sits back down. oh, yeah. I
WUV CARROTS! Scott gets up and sits back down.
Jarrod, and...uhandbobbytoo.
Bobby gets up and moves farther down the table.
Soth Park's Sweat, n'kay Mr. Garrison?
Scott looks ahead blankly while everyone else laughs.
What? What's so funny?
Oh, nothing dear.
Jean manages to say before cracking up again.
I guess I'll go next. Scott says.
I'm glad I didn't find out that anyone else was
one of my kids. Jean?
I'm glad I didn't die this year. Nathan?
NO TIME TRAVEL! Rogue?
Ah'm thankful ah didn't absorb anybody.
Batwoman runs back into the room.
I'm thankful Ororo isn't here! Now where's
Kurt?
I'm thankful Batwoman isn't here. NIEN!
He ports out again.
I'm thankful Salad's over there.
I'm glad Jubilee moved out. What? she was an annoying
brat! If she'd stayed any longer I would've killed her!
Everyone nods in agreement.
*RING RING*
Magneto answers the phone.
Hello? *gasp* NO! *gasp* NO!
He slams the phone down.
There's no cheese left in the world!
Ororo walks into the room and kisses Kurt, then Rogue accidentaly
absorbs him. In shock, Remy kinetically charges the table,
killing Jean, Bobby, and Jarrod.
*RING RING*
Hello? Yeah, I heard. *gasp* NO! He hangs up the
phone. The world's out of carrot's, too.
Cable dissapears into a time portal, and ten kids run up to Scott.
Logan decides to leave, but when he opens the door Jubilee is
standing there.
Hi! I'm moving back in!
-Shiar throne world-
Majestrix, did you hear that?
What, Gladiator?
A scream, it sounded like an animal in pain.