The Cloud Saga Part 3
Even more of the Humor, Adventure, and Romance you've grown to love! Erk! I'm choking on a lemon!
Where we left our heroes, they had killed Sephiroth. Now, they had to kill someone else…..the last remaining Shinra soldier, Yurr A. Sicko, who had rebuilt the Shinra empire, and renamed it Sicko. They now produce plastic vomit and scare people out of their money. It is the gang's job to bust the racket…sound familiar? It is…Oh yeah, and there are more lemons, too. Cloud and Aeris kiss again, but I swear by Barret's gun arm it is still a PG13. No hentai crap. Now, onto the story. Cloud and the gang are having a drink at the Lively Beach Bar at Costa Del Sol……
Barret:This(hic)is(hic)damn good. I(hic)go(hic)for this(hic)strong shit!
Vincent: (mumbles something about NOT being a vampire…..)
Cid: So(hic hic)good(hic hic)I(hic hic)I(hic hic)Hell, I(hic hic)can't fin-(hic hic)a damn(hic hic)sentence!
Aeris: Ooh, tequila on the rocks with a…….lemon….(looks at Cloud)that was a hint…
Cloud: (slurping)later, later Aeris……(Gulp)ah, damn good
Yuffie: MMM…….Coke………
Red XIII: I love tap water…….
Cloud: 'Nother (hic) beer, waiter
Waiter: Sure, uh, Cloud…..
Barret: I'm gonna(hic)jes'(hic)hic(hic)in(hic)my(hic)room.
Cid: bye.
Cloud: Let's go back(hic)to the meeting rooom…..
Waiter: CLOUD!!!!! Your beer! Damn……he din't pay……..
(meanwhile, at the "meeting room")
Cloud: So how we gonna bring down Shin-I mean Sicko.
Cid: I dunno, but I'm sure Barret would fit right in!
Barret: Shut up.
Cloud: Anyway let's get some seriousness shot into us……Aeris, get the hypodermic needles!
(Aeris appears in a nurses outfit)
Cid: (jaw drops)Whoa, is that Aeris? Shit, she's cute!!!
Cloud: Cid, shut UP!
Yuffie: OOOOOO!
Cloud: You too.
Yuffie: Bearded guy……..
Aeris: here is the seriousness shots!(giggles)
Cloud: Okay…….(prick)ow!
Barret: (prick)Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-
Cid: (prick)iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
Tifa: (prick) ouchie
Red XIII: (prick)AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Seto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vincent: (prick) is it raining?
Yuffie: (prick) YEEK!!!!
Aeris: Hee hee!(prick)Oh, that wasn't so bad…..
Cloud: Now, let's grab our weapons and kill uh…uh…..line?
{Sicko!!!!!}
Cloud: Well, same to you!!!!!!!!!!!Asshole……
{No, that's you're line!}
Cloud: Oh…..yeah…..
(Later)
(they are at Shin-rather, Sicko HQ)
Sicko Soldier: There they are! Bombs away!!!!!
Aeris: ICE 3!
Sicko Soldier: I can't move!
Cloud: Let's go!
(go up the elevator or stairs???)
Tifa: Stairs.
Red XIII: Elevator
Yuffie: Bugenhagen.
Vincent: Back to the subject of the torture rack…..
Aeris: Cloud?
Cloud: Aeris?
Tifa: Cid?
Cid: Tifa?
Cloud: Ti-no wait, Ae-no, I mean……oh hell, we'll take the elevator
2nd floor
3rd floor
4th floor
5th floor
6th floor
Shit Floor
7th floor
No wait, this is 9th floor
10th floor…..
TIME PASSES
MORE TIME PASSES
BARRET GETS DRUNK
CLOUD GOES NUTS
MORE TIME PASSES
DING!
Cloud: Finally!
Aeris: Let's go!
(Soon they meet………..Yurr A. Sicko)
Yurr: Welcome to my underground lair
Yuffie: What about your underwear?
Yurr: I see…..dead people…..
Cid: I see em' all the time. So what?
Yurr: May the force be with you.
Aeris: and also with you
(everyone looks at Aeris)
Aeris: Sorry, it's from church…..
Yurr: I sense great fear in you
Red XIII: Wow, a real psychic!
Yurr: You're time is up.
Yuffie: YAAAY! Time to go home!
Cloud: (pulls out Buster sword) get ready to lose!!!!!!!! OMNISLASH!
(miss)
Yurr: Director's Cut!!!!!!!!
Cloud: OW!!!! I got a gash!!!
Tifa: 7th Heaven!
(miss)
Yurr: Edit out!
Tifa: Ow!
Aeris: Pulse of life
(THE HEALING……………THE POWER……….THE……CHEESE???????????)
Cloud: This is a miracle!!!
(DUH!!!!)
Yurr: Crazy Kick!
(miss)
Cloud: Climhazard!
Yurr: OWWWWWWW!!!!
(Yurr falls to the ground, dead, and everybody celebrates)
Yuffie: Let me sing the materia song!
{No way, she's NOT singing. But here is the song………..}
Materia
Chorus: Materia, Materia, Ohhhhhhhhhhh Materia!
Ice ,Fire, Lightning Too
Fire 3 is coming to YOU!
Ice 3 looks very blue
Bolt 3 is very real new
CHORUS
Rapping for the Materia
Doing Polka cha cha cha
You an me Rah rah rah
Materia Rah Rah yeah
CHORUS
KOR, Shiva, Ifrit
Comin' to you straight from the guy who knows all this shit
And Bahamut is it it it
And once again, I say IFRIT!
Chorus!
ITS OVER!!!
{Yuffie's voice sucks}
Anyway, while everyone was partying in Shin-Sicko HQ, Cloud and Aeris were sharing a kiss. LEMON!!! Ick…….gasp…..air…….SPLAT!!
eeeeeeeeeeeeee*splat*
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee*splat*
TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT CLOUD SAGA!
SNEAK PEEK!!!!!!!!!
Here, we give you a sneak peek of the next Cloud Saga. Cloud and Aeris look deeper into their relationship, Sephiroth's true, weak brother is brought to power by Sephiroth and helps him fight against Cloud and the others. His name is Sephino, and he is NOT a clone of anyone! That wraps up the sneak peek. Oh yeah, more lemons await. So does humor, adventure, and fun. Did I mention humor? Oh and humor too. BYE BYE!!!!!!!!!!