The Cloud Saga Part 4
MORE HUMOR, ACTION, ADVENTURE, AND LEMONS!!!!!!
(Cloud and Aeris are walking on the beach alone at Costa Del Sol)
Cloud: Nice night, huh?
Aeris: Ya, it is.
Cloud: You know, maybe we should get married.
Aeris: Really??!!!(GIGGLES)I would like that!
Cloud: You want to?
Aeris: Sure. I love you!
Cloud: I love you!
Aeris: Okay then!!!
???: How touching……
(Cloud and Aeris whirls around)
???: I am Sephino, Sephiroth's true, weak human brother who was brought to power by Sephiroth himself……..
Cloud: What the-
Sephino: I have come to kill you!!!
Cloud: Never(pulls out Buster Sword)
(dueling noises)
Sephino: GRR…you're rather good……I'll be back soon…….
Cloud: Phew….
(Cloud and Aeris kiss)
Aeris: Let's go back.
Cloud: Ya
(Later, at the "Midgar meeting room")
Barret: What now, Cloud?
Cid: Why'd you drag me here, dammit?
Yuffie: I was I the middle of stea-uh, collecting materia!!!!
Vincent: I was polishing my guillotine!!
Cloud: It seems that Sephiroth is back…..and he has a brother…
Barret: Holy shit!
Tifa: That's not good!
Cloud: Exactly. Now, we need to think only of our mission…..wait, do I smell cheese???
Red XIII: (Munch munch)
Cloud: We need to be agile…whoa whoa whoa! Losing balance! AAAH! (falls on ground)
Cid: This kid's contradicting 'imself
Barret: 'Jes shaddap.
Cloud: And we never need to lose hope……..oh shit, why am I even saying this…….(sigh)
Cid: See my point?
Barret: 'Jes SHADDAP!
Aeris: Me and Cloud are getting married!
(everyone whirls around and looks at Aeris)
(Cloud goes crimson)
Cid: Good going, old boy, you've landed yourself a good-OUCH!
(Barret slapped Cid in the back)
Barret: Leave 'em alone.
Red XIII: Congratulations.
Vincent: Yeah, congrats.
Cloud: Aeris!!!!
Aeris: What??
Cloud: never mind…….just focus on the matter at hand!!!!
Barret: Yeah…….sure……..
Cid: Ow…….blisters…….
Yuffie: Always knew you liked her, Cloud.
Cloud: Shut UP Yuffie!
Yuffie: (singing)Cloud's in loooove, Cloud's getting married, Cloud's in looooooooove
Cloud: (grabs copy of the Bible)
Yuffie: (singing) Cloud's getting-OOOOF!!!!!
Cloud: Now, as I was saying……
Yuffie: Jerk……….
Cloud: Aw, forget it, let's just have a few drinks!!!!!
Tifa:…………..
(At the Little Spittoon Bar in Junon……..)
Barret: I (hic)need(hic)a(hic)mop.
Cloud: Why?
Barret: Spilled rum(hic)over my(hic)good(hic)pants.
Tifa:……….
Cloud: What's wrong, Tifa?
Tifa: Oh, nothing.
Cloud: It's just you've downed 3 glasses of wine already.
Tifa: Would you believe I'm thirsty?
Cloud: Yeah, probably.
Tifa: Ok. Then I'm thirsty.
Cloud: Ah, I see. Oh damn, my nose is unaligned(crack)Ahhhhh…..
Red XIII: MMM……..I love tap water……..
Cid: Here comes the(hic) bride(hic)all dressed(hic hic) in white…….
Barret: Shaddup you(hic)stupid(hic)*&$^#^^^^%
Cid: The proper(hic)wording(hic)is(hic)shut up.
Barret: Articulate little bastard……..
Cloud: Now……let's go get our weapons.
(Cloud's at his apartment changing)
Aeris: Hi Cloud!!
Cloud: SHIT! Aeris! Uh, don't come in! I'm changing!!!!
Aeris: Oh, sorry…..
Cloud: Oh crap crap crap……
(Aeris had a key)
Aeris: You dressed?
Cloud: Ya.
Aeris: Came to visit.
Cloud: Ooh, what's this? "Fleur Eau Gladius" Ooh, I like it!
Aeris: A Present!
Cloud: I got a surprise for you, too!
Aeris: What?
Cloud: I booked our wedding for the next Cloud Saga!
Aeris: (gasps) YAY!
Cloud: Is'nt it great! And I got an automatic nose-cracker too!
Aeris: That's very….nice……
Tifa: Cloud, you in-oh, sorry, don't mean to intrude….
Aeris:……….
Cloud: No intrusion. We were about to head out anyway.
Tifa: Oh okay.
Cloud: Something you need?
Tifa: Sephino is here.
Cloud: What????
Tifa: He and Sephiroth are here.
Cloud: Right there…………OOOOOF!!!!Damn!
(tripped on socks)
(later……)
Cloud: What do you want, Sephiroth???
Sephiroth: A Madonna CD!!!!! I mean, what do you think??? You're life!!!
Yuffie: I would like some materia……
Cloud: How shall we dispose of him?
Vincent: NOW the torture rack?
Red XIII: How about we run him over with a truck.
Barret: Or blast King Kong to King Come.
Cloud: With Dynamite?
Yuffie: Yeah! Dynamite Materia!
Cloud: Is that all you think about? Materia?
Yuffie: No, I also like Coke!
Sephino: bet you 10 bucks we'll win.
Cloud: I don't gamble.
Sephino: SHIT! I wanted to make good money…….
Cloud: I'll kill you with my eeeeeeee*splat* hand grenades
Sephino: NOOOOO!!!!!!
Cloud: (throws eeeeeeeeeeeee*splat* grenades) KABOOOOM!
AND THAT CONCLUDES OUR-
Cloud: hey, you sick bastard! Tell 'em about the blood, gore, and dismemberment!
{You want a plot twist in the dick?}
Cloud: bring it on, bring it on……..OWWWWWW!!!!! You %%&*%*&*$*&&*………
{BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!}
Sephiroth and Sephino: Wehl be bakk…….
Cloud: Mission Possible.
Yuffie: Austin Powers, he's the man for you…….
Cloud: Shut the **** up, Yuffie
Yuffie: STOP! In the name of Cloud……..
Everyone: SHUT UP YUFFIE!!!!!!!!!!
The End.
THE NEXT CLOUD SAGA IS GOING TO BE A RARE SPECIMEN……….A ROMANCE!!!!! THAT'S RIGHT, CLOUD AND AERIS WALK DOWN THE AISLE TOGETHER! BUT I'LL STILL LIST IT AS HUMOR AS THERE WILL STILL BE HUMOR IN IT!!!!!!!! BUT LOTS OF LEMONS TOO(STILL NO HENTAI!!!!!!)UNTIL THEN, BYE BYE!