The Cloud Saga
Part 7
IN THIS CLOUD SAGA, AERIS GOES TO THE PAST(AT THE BEGINNING, SHE IS THERE)AND SHE FINDS A MATERIA ORB………
Aeris: Where am I? Gosh…..this looks……like the past! Old Midgar!!!! Oh wow……Say, what's this?
(Aeris walks over to glowing orb)
Aeris: This is……the sacred Rainbow Materia!!!! It has the power to blast anything!! I can blast Sephiroth! Now, to get back………I know! I'll go to the Temple of the Ancients and ask the wise old ancients there
(later)
Ancient: to go back to the present time, you must destroy the Dragon that lurks deep within…..
Aeris: That sounds easy! Thanks!
(later)
Dragon: I am the Shit Dragon! What shit have you come forth with?
Aeris: Huh?
Dragon: You have no shit??? Then I shall kill you! (swings tail)
Aeris: Yikes! Take THIS!!! EEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
(the Rainbow Materia blasts the Dragon)
Aeris: I'm floating!!!!
(Aeris returns to the present, with the Materia………)
Aeris: I gotta tell Cloud!
(later at the meeting…..)
Aeris: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. That's how it goes.
Barret: Jes' take the damn thing, blow his brains out and behead a minotaur. It's Christmastime!
Cid: No, dummy! It's not even Thanksgiving, turkeymuscles!
Cloud: Hmm…let's go to North Crater and get that lousy son of a-
Yuffie: Gumball!
Cloud: Shut Up Yuffie!
Yuffie: Hee hee, I know what you're thinking, Cloud! You're thinking about Ae-OWWWW!!!!!!(gets hit by cactus thrown by Cloud)
Cloud: That's what you get, Yuffie!
Yuffie: OW!
Vincent: I wanna use my torture rack again!!!!!! WAAAAAA!
Cloud: Vinny my man, that is like SO out of character. Get a clue, dude!
{That is too! CUT!!!}
Cloud: Another go?
{Yeah…….TAKE 2!}
Vincent: When will I get to use this torture rack again.
Cloud: Sometime, Vincent. This time, we are using Aeris's materia. Next time we'll use the torture rack.
{CUT! Beautiful!!!}
Cloud: So, let's go kick-uh, line?
{ASSHOLE!}
Cloud: Oh yeah? Well, same to you, bastard!
{No, that's you're line!}
Cloud: Oh. OOPS! Sorry!
(later, in North Crater…..hmm……..Later in da crater, da crater, later in da crater, it's later…..)
Cloud: It's you again.
Sephiroth: Yup. I got Sephino's Charizard(smiles) Trade you for holograp-oof!!!!
Cloud: Gotach!(cloud had punches Sephiroth, who had toppled over.
Sephiroth: hey!! What did you do THAT for????
Aeris: TAKE THIS! EEEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
Sephiroth: Oh no!!!!! AAAAKK! I nevr saw Star Wars Episode 1!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Barret: Yay! He's(hic)gone. Gon' go(hic)kick(hic}some(hic)some(hic)Oh hell I'll(hic)go kcik some(hic)Shinra with my ass(hic)boot.
Aeris: It's not over……
Sephiroth: you're right……..
Everyone but Yuffie: GASP!!!!
Noone but Yuffie: GASP????
Sephiroth: That was only a clone! And a fake Charizard too! I got a real one!! Oh by the way, Barret, go take a toxic bath.
Aeris: Let's go back.
Cloud: Yes, yes! La dee dee dee la la dee dee da!
Yuffie: I got a cactus!
Cloud: AAH!
(later in elevator)
going up!
19th
18th
17th
This is going down……
15th
But it's weird in a crater…….
13th
CLOUD GOES NUTS
Wow, record time too!
Shut it Yuffie!
9th
8th
7th
6th
Are we there yet?
SHIT, YUFFIE! SHUT UP!
3rd
2nd
1st
And then they leave…….
Cloud: WA DEE LASAA LASSA! YOU GOT QUARTERS, BABE?????
Aeris: I'll use Esuna!
Okay, so Cloud was healed. They all go home. Aeris swallowed a sweet lemon, and Cloud ate a person I think. The butcher. He ate the meat, which leads me to think he's sub-human. Oh well, he still cracks his nose!
THE NEXT CLOUD SAGA, SOMETHING EXITING HAPPENS. SEPHIROTH COMES(THE REAL ONE)BUT DOES NOT GET KILLED, JUST SHIPPED OFF, AND THE NEXT CLOUD SAGA HAS LEMONS! ICK!! SOUR!!!!!!