Just Acting??: Part VIII
by Lissa Mahon
Disclaimer: Blah, Blah, Blah, I don't own Max or Logan, blah, blah, blah....
Authors Note: I'm sorry, but I couldn't have this beta read, because each time I tried to send it, my email wouldn't work, so any constructive criticism is much appreciated. Thx. ~Lissa,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Max and Logan's Room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Logan awoke to the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. A few minutes later, the water stopped. He sat up in the bed lack of anything else to do and glanced at the clock. 9:18. Not much more than an hour left until his appointment. The thought scared the hell out of him. He'd had one too many bad experiences.
Too many painful memories. Gwen and Shannon....
Logan looked up as the handle jingled and the door opened to reveal Max. Clad in black leather pants and a tight magenta turtleneck sweater, just the sight of her sent Logan's heart racing a million miles per hour.
She must be trying to kill me, he thought.
Luckily, he was able to regain composure quickly and managed to greet her.
"Morning," he said giving her an absolutely charming smile.
God I hate when he looks like that. I just feel like going over there and...
Max shook her head as though to dismiss her thoughts. She smiled back and answered,
"Hey."
Logan studied her face. She seemed different today. Happier. Nicer.
"Bathroom's free," she said pointing to the door behind her.
Max helped him into his wheelchair and he disappeared into the bathroom.
Inside, Max's scent lingered in the air. Logan looked around and saw that the marble surrounding the sink was covered by an array of makeup and hair products. He laughed a little to himself.
She really is just a girl isn't she.
Logan continued to let his thoughts wander as he got ready for the coming day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Doctor's Office~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Less than an hour later, Logan and Max were sitting inside the waiting room of Dr. Westbank's office. Max glanced over at Logan who seemed to lost in his own little world.
He looks so tense, Max thought as she watched him wringing his hands. She absently reached out and took one of his nervous hands in her own, diverting his attention.
Logan flinched at the touch of her fingertips to his palm and looked up at Max's face, his blue eyes meeting her brown ones.
Max took a breath, about to say something to him, when their moment of silent bonding was interrupted of by the doctor's receptionist telling Logan that the doctor was ready to see him.
They followed the woman down a long corridor to a small room. On one side of the room was what looked like your average examination room. The usual medical supplies adorned the majority of the countertop. But, the opposite side of the room was more like an office for discussions.
At the same time as the two Americans entered the room, a tall, bald man came in as well.
"Hi, Mr. Cale. It's nice to meet you. I'm George Westbank," the man said smiling and moving to shake Logan's hand. He seemed like your typical doctor: knowledgeable and confident.
"Please, call me Logan. And this is my," he paused for a moment to glance at Max, "girlfriend, Max," he said gesturing to her.
My girlfriend. I wish I had the opportunity to say *that* more often.
"Hi," Max said innocently. Anyone who didn't know her would have thought that she was just you average, everyday, nice girl. Boy were they wrong.
"Well," the doctor began looking from Max to Logan again, "Logan, aren't you the lucky one."
"Yes, I guess I am" Logan said chuckling a little.
Is he blushing? Max wondered as she watch a wave of crimson go across his face. Then, he turned and gave her a sheepish grin.
Maintain composure, Max. You almost lost it out there. Remember: you're just acting.
"Please," the doctor started, gesturing to a chair near the desk on the far side of the room, "take a seat. Let's just take a moment to talk."
Max graciously accepted the offer and sat down in the chair as Logan wheeled his chair next to her. The doctor typed diligently at his computer for a few moments before looking back at the couple.
"Okay, Logan, from what I understand, you suffer from paraplegia due to a shooting accident?" he asked.
"Umm yes," he replied staring at the floor in order to avoid looking at Max.
What is he embarrassed? she wondered, He doesn't want me to hear about his disability? Is that it?
Max decided that she was going to find the answer to her question and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Logan glanced up at Max, whose hand remained on his shoulder. As their eyes met, that imaginary rubber band of Max's was stretched again. Max studied his countenance for a second. There was something in those precious blue eyes of his that she wasn't used to seeing.
He's not embarrassed. He's scared, she thought. She wanted like hell to tell him that everything would be okay.
Unfortunately, for the second time that day, they were interrupted. This time, by the doctor, who had started talking again and caused them to break their gaze.
"Well, here's what I'd like to do. First of all, I'd like a moment to examine Logan's back, so, Max, if you'll just wait outside for a little while, I'll call you in later."
Max hesitantly rose from her seat. She didn't really want to leave him.
Remember, you're just *acting* like his girlfriend, she thought to herself. It was both a reminder and a warning.
Before leaving the room, she bent down to his level and left a tiny kiss on his cheek, before leaning in even closer to whisper,
"Don't worry," in his ear. Logan stared at her for a few moments and she flashed him a reassuring smile before leaving.
As she moved away, Logan watched her closely. He had been correct when he had said that there was something different about her today.
Max sat in the waiting room for fifteen minutes until the doctor came out.
"Max. You can come back in now. I'm just going to look over a few files and be back in a couple of minutes."
She nodded as she reentered the room to see Logan sitting in his wheelchair pulling a shirt over his head.
God, he's gorgeous. He should have his shirt off more often, she thought as the little voice in her head silently scolded her,
It's all just phony sentimentality, Max. You can't have these feelings for him. You just can't.
She finally snapped out of her reverie and realized that she still hadn't said anything to him.
"It'll all work out. Don't worry," she reassured him.
Logan seemed to doubt her as he said in a no-nonsense voice,
"You don't no that, Max. No one does."
Luckily for them, Dr. Westbank returned in time to interrupt what was most likely going to be an argument. Logan studied his face, but couldn't quite guess what he was going to say.
Max, again, took his hand in hears hoping to calm him down a little and to preserve the act that she was his girlfriend.
"Well, Logan," the doctor began looking up at his patient, "I've gone over your records and I understand that a few months ago, you had an emergency operation, because a stray bullet in your back had migrated. Correct?"
Max could feel his pulse quicken as he nodded his head in agreement. Logan's thoughts darted back to the last time he and Max had been in a hospital.
The kiss.... The music.....
Again, the doctor started talking,
"Well, then, you are indeed a possible candidate for this surgery. However, the chance of success is slightly less due to the complication."
All of the color suddenly drained from Logan's face.
"How much less?" he asked, his voice a little softer than usual.
"Well, instead of their being a 70% chance of success, you now have a 55% chance that the surgery will go well."
Max felt so bad for him at that moment. She knew that, although he hadn't said so, he had been excited about the possibiliyy of walking again.
It's a good thing we're not alone, Max thought, I don't know if I could have found the strength to prevent myself from going over to him and putting my arms around him and stroking that funny hair of his and telling him that everything would be okay.
God, Max, you've really got to stopt thinking like this, she added to her chaos of thoughts.
Meanwhile, as Max was battling her thoughts, Logan was having trouble with his own.
Only a 55% percent chance that it'll work. If it doesn't, I may never walk again. But, if I don't go through with the surgery, I may still be able to walk again someday. But, by then, Max will be long gone. She'll most likely have to leave when we get back to Seattle and I'll probably never see her again. I don't want her only memories of me to be this helpless guy in a wheelchair, he thought.
"What exactly happens during this surgery?" Logan asked trying to sound perfectly calm.
God, this is practically his entire life he's talking about. How can he talk like it's no big dealio? Was he always like this? Or is it just a recent development? Max wondered.
"First, we insert two eight inch steel rods into your back to support what's left of your spine," the doctor began.
Logan flinched a little at this.
Steel rods. Just lovely.
"and then, we fuse the broken bits of you spine back togethe. Then, certain steroids will stimulate the nerves back into working order. It was once actually a well-known technique in the United States. Actually saved a few major stars' lives back in the 1990s. Now, I'm afraid it's become practically forgotten," he said.
And once again, I'd like to thank the terrorists that set off the pulse. You guys seemed to have found yet another way to screw up my life, Logan thought to himself bitterly, Oh well, like Max says, 'It's all good'.
"If it is successful, how long will it be before I can walk again?" he asked causing Max to come out of her little world of thoughts.
"Well, if you've been keeping up with your therapy, modern medicine will have you back on your feet in about a week," Dr. Westbank answered matter-of-factly.
One week. One week and I can be walking. I could be in the wedding with Max. Dance with her at the parties. I could have that before she leaves for good. Or, I might still be in this goddamn chair, or even worse still, dead. And then she'll really be gone. Off to some place on the other side of the planet most likely. Still. It's worth the risk if I can just have those few days.
"When's the earliest time I can go in?" Logan asked, causing Max's head to bolt up and her eyes to fix themselves on his face.
"Well tomorrow morning if you like."
"I'll be there," Logan answered as he gripped Max's hand even tighter. This time, she as the one to flinch, forgetting that their hands were still linked together. Her mind had been elsewhere for the past few minutes.
Tomorrow, Logan thought, will decide rest of my life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Great Hall~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Logan and Max arrived back at Mrs. Wrobleski's and entered the Great Hall to hear the sounds of high-pitched voices.
"Uncle Logan. Uncle Logan," they yelled.
Max dilated her eyes to see two little kids running down on of the hallways.
A blue-eyed boy of maybe four soon slid across most of the hall and ended up at Logan's feet just as a brown-haired girl of seven flung her arms around his neck. A little surprised by the children's "attack", Logan laughed a little as he returned the hug.
"Well," he started looking at the two energetic kids standing in front of him, "How are my favorite niece and nephew?" he asked, a smile on his face from ear to ear.
Try to at least act happy Logan. These kids already have it tough. Just put on a good show.
"Uncle Logan," the girl whined, "We're your *only* niece and nephew."
Logan made a silly face at her. She laughed.
Look at him, Max thought as she watched the family with a smile on her face, He's so good with kids. He's like one of those people from those old movies from like the 1990s or something. He's even got the bad jokes.
"Hey you guys, I want you to meet someone," he said grabbing Max's wrist and pulling her from behind his chair, not noticing her rapid pulse.
"This is my friend Max," he said.
Max had never really had any experience with children.
Oh well. I guess I can just do what I always do. Make it up as I go along, she thought to herself.
"Hi there," she said waving to them.
"Hi," the little boy said shyly as his sister waved.
Logan looked up at her. Max did the best to avoid his eyes, afraid of what could happen if she looked into them.
"Max, these are my sister Gwen's kids; Tamera and Trevor," he said pointing to them as he said their name.
All of a sudden, Trevor seemed to realize that Logan was in a wheelchair and asked in a childlike voice,
"Uncle Logan, what happened?"
Just then, a red-haired man in his mid-30s came into the room, preventing him from answering the boy's question. Max watched as relief filled Logan's face.
"Logan," the man said, "I haven't seen you in a long time."
Logan took a deep breath and turned to Max,
"Max, this is my brother-in-law, Brian."
The man put his hand out to shake hers.
"So, how's the world of journalism?"
"Good. Keeping me on my toes," he said looking down at his legs with a sad laugh.
"Yeah. I heard," Brian said, not knowing what else to say, "Umm... you know what? Why don't you two come to dinner with me and the kids tonight? Give them some time with you," he asked.
Logan glanced at Max who gave him a look that said that it was his decision.
"Yeah. Great," Logan answered as he and Max followed Brian and the kids.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Great Hall~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They arrived back at the manor around 8:30. At this time, Tamera asked to be excused to retrieve something from her bedroom. She returned later with a paper in her hand. Logan recognized it almost immediately to be sheet music.
The girl's father looked up at her, his eyes brimming with tears as she began to speak,
"Dad found this i n the attic the other day and says that it belonged to our mom. We asked him what it sounded like, but he said that you were theonly one that he knew that could play it."
Max looked around the room. The girl's brother was wiping tears away from his face, her father, looking off in another direction, his face obscure from view, and even Loggan appeared somewhat misty-eyed.
Brian looked back at Logan,
"So, how about it?" he asked.
Logan's eyes rested on the music and he gently lifted it from his niece's fingertips and opened it up. Memories filled his head. He and his sister as children taking turns at the piano. He glanced at it for a moment, before rolling his chair into another room.
As Max walked in, her eyes rested upon an elegant, Baby Grand piano.
Brian stepped forward and removed the piano bench, so Logan had room to wheel his chair into the space.
When he had done so, Logan lifted the score up onto the music stand and opened it up. He gazed down at the black and white keys before him and gingerly ran his fingers over them.
It's been so long....
Almost instantaneously, he began to play. Max watched as his fingers danced across the keys, as nimble as they were on the keyboard of his computer.
Then, something struck Max in her chest. She knew this song. She walked over behind Logan and looked up at the name of the piece.
Valse Triste, she read to herself.
Meanwhile, Logan was so absorbed in what he was doing that he had forgotten that there was anyone else in the room. He had just begun playing and soon -like it always had- the music had control of his soul.
By the time he finished the piece, Logan's whole body was trembling. A great silence fell across the room. It was a long time before anyone said anything.
Brian was the one to break the silence.
Clearing his throat, he said, sounding somewhat choked up, "I think we should all get some rest. Guys," he said referring to his kids, "Why don't you say goodnight to your uncle and Max."
"'Night Uncle Logan," the boy whispered, his face tear-stained.
"Goodnight," he replied as he and Max left the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Max and Logan's Room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they returned to their room, Logan went immediately to his computer. Knowing that he was hurting and not wanting to say the wrong thing, Max decided to sit and think for a while.
She smiled to herself as she thought about dinner.
"So, Logan, how did you and Max meet?" Brian had asked.
"Well," Logan began, "Max was interested in a piece of artwork I owned," he had answered, looking out of the corner of his eye at Max, silently telling her to go along with the story.
"Oh, a painting?" he asked.
"No," Max had said, a smile spreading across her lips, "a statue actually."
"Oh," Brian had replied, nodding approvingly, "So, Max, did you buy it or.."
"It was an absolute steal," she had announced.
Next to her, Logan nearly choked on his drink.
Max laughed quietly to herself as she remembered that. Then, Logan closed his computer and wheeled his chair over near Max. He looked up at her, his big, blue eyes filled with sorrow.
"Max," he began, clearing his throat, "If anything happens to me tomorrow, there's a will in a draw in my bedroom and Bling knows what to do with the Informant Net."
By the time he had finished his sentence, his voice was barely a whisper.
"Logan, don't talk like that. Nothing's going to happen to you," Max said reassuringly.
"I've told you a thousand times, Max, you don't know that," he said finally looking up at her.
Their eyes met and Logan quickly looked away.
"Besides," he murmured quietly, "it's not like anyone will miss me anyway."
Is he depressed or is it just me? Max wondered.
"Okay," she began getting out of her seat and sitting on the edge of Logan's wheelchair, "that's it, scoot over."
She put her hands around the back of his head, forcing him to look up at her.
"A lot of things are going to happen in that hospital tomorrow, but you dying is not one of those. Besides," she said, her voice growing softer as she looked even deeper into his eyes, "I'd miss you."
Then, it happened, Logan leaned in the few extra inches and brushed his lips against hers. Just a light, quick kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. He moved his face away from hers and looked at her for a moment. She removed her hands from the back of his head and retreated to her seat.
And you've scared her away. Good going, Cale.
"There's just too many bad memories," he said.
"You wanna talk about it?" she asked, looking up at him.
"It's just that, being here and seeing everyone brings back all these memories that I've tried to forget. About three years ago, my parents were supposed to meet me and Gwen at their cabin," he started. Max watched as his eyes turned an icy sort of blue.
"For some reason, I don't remember why, Gwen was driving up with them. My dad had a lot of enemies and while they were on their way up to the cabin, someone ran them off the road. The car flipped over and my parents died instantly. But, Gwen, she made it to the hospital. I talked to her for a few minutes. And then, a flood of doctors rushed in and I- She-" he couldn't even finish the sentence.
Logan closed his eyes tightly for a moment or two and took a deep breath, before he opened them and started to talk again.
Come on, Logan. Don't do this to yourself. You don't have to tell her anything.
Max got and sat back down next to him again.
"Did you know that Val and I had a baby?" he asked looking up at her.
Logan. A father? she thought to herself.
"A girl. Her name was Shannon. She was born premature and after a week-"
Max watched as tears welled up in his eyes.
"She was gone too. After that, Val started drinking and everything just went downhill. Three years later, I lost my parents and my sister," he said looking up at Max. She could see that he was trying hard not to cry.
"Why do I lose everyone I love?" he asked her.
That's it, Max thought as she wrapped her arms around his neck and stroked his hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thirty Minutes Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After talking a little more, Max convinced Logan that he should get some rest.
Max crawled into the bed.
"Goodnight, Logan," she whispered.
"G'night."
Wait a second, Max thought as she turned around and gave Logan a kiss on the cheek.
What was that for? he wondered, not about to ask in cause she decided to take it back.
"It'll all work out," she said.
"'Night, Max."
"'Night."
It'll all work out, she told herself, Will it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max sat in the waiting room of the hospital with Katie and her mother. She looked around her at the bright white walls and the pale blue chairs. Why did hospitals always have this sort of fake cheerfulness in them?
They had been waiting there for about 4 hours already, when the doctor came out. Max could tell by the morose look on his face that he didn't have good news.
No, she thought, That's not what he's going to say, Max. Don't think like that. He's fine. Really he is.
"I'm sorry," Dr. Westbank started, "We did all that we could, but he didn't make it."
Max felt a sharp pain go through her chest. NO, she screamed inside of her head.
And then, the tears started as she forgot about everything she had learned at Manticore and began crying hysterically.
Katie rushed over and gave her hug, crying as well.
Noooooooo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max bolted straight up in the bed, tears streaming down her face. She looked to her right to find Logan sleeping peacefully.
It was just a dream, Max. It was just a dream.
She moved a little closer to him. After that, she couldn't fall back asleep, so she just sat there and watched him sleep for the rest of the night.
It'll all work out, Max. It'll all work out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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