Author: Nelle Donaghue
Title: Celebrity Death Match, Death vs Falsone
Keywords: Crossover, Highlander w/HLOTS, Celebrity Death Match, evolfic
Rating: R
Characters: Nah, I'm not telling, it'll ruin it.
Catergory: Definately humor!
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just borrowing 'em. This is a response to the evolfic challenge on the Autofocus list. I think that this falls into the Super Crossover one. Enjoy!
Archive? Just ask first please!
Author's note: evolfic is the Homicide equivalent of X-files' Badfic. Just smile, nod and accept.
Announcers voice: "TONIGHT ON CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH: DEATH vs PAUL FALSONE. In Death's corner, we have the other Apocalypse Boys: Pestilence, Famine and War, more commonly known as Kronos, Caspian and Silas, all the way back from the dead for this special evening.
"In Falsone's corner we have Renee "I got beat down" Sheppard, Laura " I think Falsone's so cute" Ballard and Stu "I was afraid" Gharty. They are all the way back from the TV graveyard for tonight.
"Death, more commonly known as Adam Pierson or Methos, the oldest living immortal at 5000 years old, is climbing into the ring. He looks frightful wearing his Bronze Age garb and blue face paint. I bet that all the ladies out there are wondering whether or not he is wearing blue boxers tonight, when asked earlier, his only comment was "Yes, oh yes..."
"Paul Falsone is climbing into the ring wearing his trademark leather jacket runs his fingers through his greasy locks and throws a ripe peach at Laura Ballard, even though they are not in season. His aim seems to be a little off tonight, instead of Ballard catching it, it looks like Caspian did. Ooh, it looks like he shouldn't have done that, Caspian is looking at Falsone like Falsone is dinner.
Death and Falsone are circling each other, Falsone makes the first move trying to dart and try one of his great boxing moves on Death. Death tries to catch him, but can't because he has hair grease on his hands. Death swings his sword but Falsone manages to leap away just in time. Uh-oh, it looks like War, Famine and Pestilence have decided to enter the ring. Ballard, Gharty and Sheppard enter the ring as well. Folks, it is a free for all down there. The immortals are using their superior sword skills to cut down their opponents. Looks like Sheppard is the first to lose a limb, she won't be winning any more beauty pageants now. CASPIAN HAS TAKEN HER HEAD!" (Wild cheering in crowd) "The crowd is going wild, Gharty is trying to leave the ring but can't get out. Guess he shouldn't have had that last cheeseburger, right now some of Falsone's hair grease might help him. Looks like Kronos got him, that has got to hurt. Gharty has just been disemboweled by Kronos, Kronos takes Gharty's head! It is flying into the audience where it is now being stamped on by die-hard Homicide fans. Ballard has just lost her head to Silas, look at the blood spurt on that one! Kronos, Caspian and Silas have left the ring, it's down to just Death and Falsone. Using his spectacular backhand, Death takes Falsone's head. It seems as if Falsone was immortal! His quickening is starting. The air is electric, Falsone's quickening has finally ended. Kronos, Caspian and Silas are fading, but wait, there are two figures running down the aisle. It's Cassandra and Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. Cassandra has rushed into the ring and her sword is poised to take Death's head! What a turn of events here tonight! Duncan MacLeod is telling her to stop, they are talking quietly about something. Death no longer has Cassandra's sword to his neck, it looks like she is agreeing that Falsone was much more evil than the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ever were. We just got word from our correspondent ringside that Cassandra has asked Death to get a beer with her and possibly go back to her place later. What a turn of events tonight, die hard Homicide fans are cheering and the Methos fans are very drunk on good beer. And somehow, all of the bottle caps have landed behind MacLeod's fridge. Tune in next week, Barnfather against Krycheck."