P.S. before I forget, this is like a year, two years after the last one
disclaimer: blah blah blah ...y'all know the drill!
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WRITER'S BLOCK
chapter 3
Pan sighed. She missed Jake. it had taken months after that first meeting at the nightclub, but eventually the two of them had built up a beautiful, unbreakable relationship. Or so she'd thought. She couldn't pinpoint exactly what had triggered it but somewhere their bliss had descended into torture. Harsh words then passed - words she wished she could forget - and he'd gone. Vanished without a trace.
She'd had other boyfriends since him - heaps of guys - but they were all just rebounds. Yep, she just kept bouncing from one guy to the next, not even bothering to remember the current one's name. Her work was slipping too. She could still write, but the publishers were getting sick of lost-soul-on-the-brink-of-self-destruction pieces. Of course, seeing as how that's what she had become, she couldn't really write about much else.
Walking past her desk she spotted a face-down picture frame and absentmindedly righted it; but catching sight of who it showed she picked it up for closer inspection. It was the gang - Bra, Marron, Pan, Trunks and Goten - all stacked on top of each other. Pan smiled as a stray memory told her they'd all been playing footy, or at least she Trunks and Goten had been, the other two just jumped on top cos they thought it might be fun, forgetting that Pan was on the bottom of the pile being crushed by two heavily-packed warriors. Once they'd all finally crawled off her she remembered how she'd played dead, even lowering her ki so they'd really start to worry. Trunks had been the most angry at her for that prank but couldn't remain so for over ten minutes - she'd still been young enough then to pull off the 'innocent puppy-dog face' look.
While reliving the memory Pan's eyes had briefly regained some of their former life, but that soon fell away again to consuming sadness. "I haven't seen them all in so long;" her whisper was all but inaudible to any without saiyan senses, but she needn't have bothered whispering at all. Feelings of utter loneliness swept over her so strongly that all she could do was collapse onto her couch in a teary mess. Even when the sleaze she was 'dating' at the moment let himself in to her apartment and started feeling her up she simply stared blankly at the wall in front of her, mind and body both completely numb.
For hours she sat crumpled just how the jerk had left her, neither knowing nor caring if she'd been violated. For days she lay lifeless and despondent staring at the same blank spot on the wall.
Idly Goten wondered what his niece was up to, and rather than leaving his lunch to go to the phone he just reached out with his ki to try and mind-speak her. What he felt turned him first white, then green, then white again. Her signature was so totally depleted it was hardly recognisable, and when he felt her mind he sensed death latched firmly on! Without another thought he sped towards her apartment flying straight though the window and kneeling before the couch. He gingerly lifted her into his arms, trying to ignore the stench of mingled alcohol, vomit and excretion.
He cradled her as though she were more fragile than fine china, and indeed she was. All the way back to his house he asked her why, why she hadn't called for help, why she hadn't called at all. He cooed to her, begging her to hold on. Almost at his place he telepathically called Trunks and told him what had happened, and wisely changed his course when the purple-haired wonder reminded him of the regeneration tanks Bulma had built.
The two sat by Pan while she healed for days on end, waiting, watching, hoping. They knew that she would physically mend but what scared them most was the thought that she would never mentally recover. Trunks had recognised her condition as the same sickness that had threatened her in her early teens, that he suspected she would always have to fight. Marron and Bra were the only other two who knew that she was there and they brought food down to him and Goten. Sometimes they would stay there too, sometimes they would leave, sickened by their friend's state; always the men kept vigil.
Insistent beeping broke into the deep slumber of exhaustion, although turning his head Goten saw that the beeping could be as insistent as it liked but it would never wake Trunks up. Feeling the need to lighten up a bit he created a tiny ki ball and stuck it just below Trunks' nose. The distinctive smell of burning hair and an almighty scream told him the plan had worked. Trunks now sat fully awake and missing most of his nose hairs. The next instant he had his friend in a headlock and was about to beat the living daylights out of him when a really annoying, high-pitched beeping registered. Slowly he turned his eyes, then his whole head, in the direction of the sound. There sat Pan in her underwear blinking, with the slightest hint of a smile on her lips. But then memory hit her like a sledgehammer and she broke down on the floor weeping, huddled in the foetal position. Immediately both her uncle and her best friend were with her, comforting her, telling her they loved her. She cried harder.
~IT'S NOT YOU!~ she wanted to scream at them, but couldn't. ~It's me! Me, the failure. Me, the leach. Me, who never lets anybody get close, who can't be loved. You think you love me, but do you really? Can you, really? Hey, I made sure of that one didn't I?~
******
The rest of the Z-gang were told what had happened a week after she came out of the tank, but she refused to see anybody except the four who had saved her. It wasn't that she felt any resentment towards the others but rather that she was afraid. Afraid that they would pity her, afraid that they would think her weak for succumbing to the disease. Her parents were hurt most by this although the whole gang lost some of its former spark. Life still went on, but it was nowhere near so rosy.
As weeks went by without any improvement Trunks was searching desperately for something that she could do. He thought that perhaps with something to throw herself into she might regain some purpose to life, for it was obvious she thought her life worth nothing.
Eventually one morning while he was training she let herself in to the gravity room to watch. Realising how big a step this was for her Trunks fought to keep from looking her way, scared he might frighten her off. He went through almost all his regular routine, even turning SSJ, with a small little grin on his face, but all the while he didn't turn to look at her. At the end of the performance - for it was quite obvious to Pan that he was putting on a show - she clapped and cheered and much to his delight, she even laughed a little.
"Would you like a turn?" His voice almost mad her flee but something kept her back, something that said this was what she had to do.
Looking like she was about to cry again she shakily said, "I don't even remember how to fly!" that problem was solved though when Trunks levitated down to her and scooped her into his arms.
""We'll just have to teach you then, won't we?" He whispered into her ear while rising to the top of the room. ~Well this is new~ he thought, referring to the fact that holding his friend in his arms made him feel something he only felt with people he was decidedly more than friends with. Remembering his wife he shook his head, putting the feeling down to happiness that finally Pan was out of the house. A tiny part of his mind begged to differ, but he ignored the insistent voice.
Before Pan had even had time to get comfortable in his arms he dropped her. Wind screaming past her ears, she screamed along with it, but just in time Trunks caught her and on the way back up said, "Now let's try this again."
"Are you MAD? You almost killed me! I'm leaving!" With that Pan pushed herself out of his arms and flew towards the door. Turning around at the sound of laughter she glared daggers at her friend but he didn't seem to notice.
He flew down till he was standing in mid air right in front of her. "Pan," he gently said, "you're flying." She looked down at her feet and saw that indeed they were quite a few metres above the ground, then had to steady herself after the shock sent her wobbling. A spurt of laughter escaped her lips, then another and another till she was almost hysterical, flying everywhere around the chamber. Looking into her eyes, ignoring the fact that his breath caught, Trunks saw that she had regained much of her spark; he joined her in the wild bouncing from wall to wall and crazy laughing.
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yeah ok so it's short. ahh well. so pleeeeeeease tell me what you think! I dunno if this is as good as the others or not, methinks it may need some more work, but I'm getting cranky at other people for not writing so I thought I'd better get my own act together. ^_^