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Dollet is my Playground

By Teg

Author's Note: I don't know about you guys, but with the absence of an amusement park where I could blow all my money to the winds, I had to find a substitute. I eventually chose Dollet. Ahh Dollet, the place where I won my first card game, the place I was chased by a large and scary machine, the place where I goofed off for most of disk 3. Any ways, I decided to write a fic about Dollet, no reason, I'm just bored. Enjoy! Oh yeah, this is my second FF8 fic. :)

Squall walked up and down the streets of Dollet. He loved it here, despite the fact the people didn't like him, because of that 'incident' at the SeeD exam. Stupid Seifer, he thought, I'm glad I got to whoop his ass so many times, if only for the satisfaction of whooping his ass. The rest of his friends followed him, disturbing the normalness of the place with their loud and boisterous whining.

"Hey Squall! I wanna go beat that guy at the bar at cards!" said Zell.

"I wanna go poke at the wreckage of X-ATM092!" said Selphie.

"Oooh! I'll join you!" exclaimed Irvine, being the horny teenager he was.

"Go to hell, Irvine." responded Selphie. Irvine looked down like a puppy that had been told he was bad, and Selphie, being dense, immediately felt sorry for him.

"Oh! I'm sorry Irvine Kinnea-poo!" she said, and they headed off towards the beach.

"Did I say you guys could go yet?" said Rinoa, because she enjoyed bossing people around, it didn't help she was also a sorceress and worthy of a little respect. Selphie and Irvine looked downcast but returned to the group.

"So Squall," said Quistis,"exactly why did you drag us all the way to Dollet?"

"Well,"explained Squall, "now that we are of legal drinking age, I have decided to be gracious enough to take all my friends out for a night on the town. Namely: Drinks for everyone! My treat!"

"Why here?" asked Rinoa.

"Because Dollet has one of the best bars in the world."

"I always thought Timber had the best bar in the word." Rinoa sulked.

"Not according to 'Best bars; your guide to the best bars in the world'"

"You researched it?!" Rinoa exclaimed and she ran off in a huff. Noticing no one was following her, she turned around and told the girls to come with her. They did, reluctantly, and the guys were left all alone.

" Cool! I'm all for late night binge drinking!" exclaimed Irvine and the guys headed off to the bar to do just that. At the bar, Squall ordered about a hundred rounds, and pretty soon they were all reeling drunk.

"So Irvy!" said Squall, "you say you can get annnnny woman in the world, right?'

"Hell yeah!" replied 'Irvy'

"So how's about you try and go get that un right over there?" Squall pointed to a woman on the other side of the room.

"Woman? Dat's no woman!" exclaimed Irvine, "Dat's a man! No way!"

"Well whaddya know?" said Squall, "It is a man!"

Meanwhile the 'woman' whom they were talking about thought, Oh my god? How did they know? They must have a sixth sense or something. Then 'she' quickly left the bar.

"Hee hee hee," cried Zell suddenly, "look at em run!'

They all burst into hysterical laughter at that, and Squall ordered another round.

"I'm gonna go play cards wid da manager now," said Zell and he stumbled up the stairs to play the manager.

"Go Zell!" yelled the other two, and then they started to giggle.

"Ya know what?"

"What do I know?"

"I wanna go down to the docks, and make funna people." said Squall.

"Oh Tay!" agreed Irvy. And they headed down to the docks. At the docks, Squall and Irvy spotted a man standing at the end.

"Let's go make fun of him!"

"Hee hee!"

They walked up to the guy, and he didn't seem to notice them, even though they were giggling and hiccuping very loudly. Squall tried to poke the guy, but missed by a mile. Irvine shoves him, and the guy looked up.

"Hey yooo." said Squall, squinting an eye and pointing.

"ye're ugly!" exclaimed Irvine and he tries to give Squall a high five, but they miss and fall into each other. However the man starts weeping.

"I left my family! Now they're gone! My live is over! I'm such a good for nothing, and I'm ugly too!" he cried and he jumped off the dock. Squall and Irvine stare at each other blankly, then start to walk away. Suddenly, the man climbs out of the water and says;

"OH my god! I forgot I didn't know how to swim!"

Squall walks back up to him, and pushes him back into the water. The man screams and splashes, but the two drunks paid no attention.

"Hey, little fishy, You stay in the ocean now." said Squall.

Irvine bursts out laughing and they both head back to the bar, arm in arm. When they return, Zell walks back down the stairs, with no cards and no clothes left, except for his shoes. He did, however, find a Timber Maniacs magazine, and was using that to cover himself.

"Hey guys, I lost my cwothes." He said cheerfully.

"Wow!" The other two replied. "You were on a roll!"

"Hey!" said Zell, "I did manage to keep this banana!"

Squall and Irvine look at the banana strangely.

"OOOH! A banana! Let's eat it and see what happens!" said Squall.

"Yah!" said the other two. The guys each took a bite of the banana, and then they started to hoot and howl like monkeys.

"Oooh ohh ahh ahh! Let's go climb buildings!"

Then the guys ran outside and took off their clothes, Zell didn't need to, but he waited for the other guys and they spent the rest of the night climbing the buildings of Dollet naked, pretending to be monkeys, until they were caught by the police. Rinoa and they rest of the girls had to bail out the shamefaced trio, and they were never allowed to come back to Dollet again. The moral of this story? There's something in the drinks at Dollet, Never gamble when you're drunk, and never never, never eat bananas. Oh yeah, Squall was sad for a while, but he got over it, when the went to Timber the next weekend.

THE END