Chapter 5
The sun shone brightly in the sky, as if it was another perfect and happy summer day. Bura walked along, holding a single red rose, on the lush green lawn of the cemetary. A sea of black could be seen in the distance. The gathering of all of Pan's loved ones, as well as the nosy press. She pushed the brim of her black hat lower, trying to hide her face from the flashing cameras as her father proceeded to hit each photographer until they became a dot in the sky.
She walked steadily on, staring into her brother's familiar back. It had been a week since...then. He had sunk further and further into depression. He had not eaten, drunk or slept which alarmed everybody, especially her. She knew that Trunks had loved Pan more than anything. She had heard him say so that night...She had already lost her best friend. She didn't want to lose her brother also.
" Onii-chan..."
She walked by his side, hoping he would acknowledge her. She was taken aback when she saw his face. His eyes were bloodshot, dark circles beneath his eyes from lack of sleep. He looked so haunted, so unlike her usual happy go lucky brother. She took his hand and squeezed it, her eyes shining with tears.
" Bura. Leave me alone please."
His voice was hoarse and low, shaky from emotions as he spoke. He took his hand out of Bura's grasp and stuck it in his pocket before walking dejectedly on. Bura dabbed her tears away from her eyes and kept on behind her brother.
*****
Why did you come for me?
After all this...
Why did you come for me?
Why?
Pan's sorrowful voice echoed through his mind as he sat, removed from all the hushed voices, whispering their condolences. Trunks clenched his fists tightly in his lap as he leaned forward, resting his forehead on his hands.
I'm sorry Pan. I came too late...It's my fault you died.
You know Trunks...I held on just for you.
You shouldn't have...I don't deserve you. I was too late to save you. I didn't realise soon enough. I should have known from the beginning.
I should have known.
I should have.
Tears ran unchecked as he clenched his fists tightly. His fingernails dug into his hands, allowing a steady flow of blood to drip onto the grass.
She had asked him. Why did he come? She thought he didn't care. He had said he loved her forever...He had asked her not to leave. But she did.
" I said I loved her...so why did she leave?" he whispered.
Footsteps, shadows and then a dull thud as someone took a seat next to him.
" She didn't leave you alone."
He rubbed at his temples and turned his head to stare up at Gohan sitting stiffly beside him.
" You don't understand."
" Of course I do. She's my daughter."
" You don't. I could have saved her..."
" How could you have saved her? You didn't know where she was...at least you gave her a chance."
Trunks choked back a sob and slammed his fist into his hand. Soft lavender hair whipped around in a wild disarray as he jerked back.
" No Gohan. You don't understand. I knew where she was all along. My dad...he told me if I had believed...I would have known. I could have found her sooner Gohan. Pan would be ALIVE."
Gohan's eyes widened at Trunks' sudden outburst. He hadn't wanted to do this. He was in enough pain as it was...but Videl had insisted. Trunks had looked so torn and lost...
" Trunks what do you mean you knew where she is?"
" I was flying through the skys...going blindly...anywhere and suddenly it hit me. I knew where she was because I admitted to myself I loved her. But...I was too late. I could have realised sooner! If I hadn't tried to deny it...I could have saved her. It's my fault she's dead!"
Gohan grabbed him by the collar and shook him hard.
" Get a grip Trunks. It's no one's fault but that bastard who stabbed her and he'll pay for what he did. You saved her...you freed her Trunks. You let her die happy...and I'll be grateful to you for that."
Trunks was once again lost in his own thoughts as Gohan's words confused him. It was his fault wasn't it?
*****
Bulma tapped her foot impatiently as the policemen rushed around. She had taken it upon herself to build a brand new jail cell so that sorry excuse of a man could live in for the rest of his sorry life. Though her husband and Goten had beaten him to a pulp, she wasn't satisfied. The psychiatrist had found the man to be insane. There was no motive behind the murder...
He had just felt like it.
Of course, being such an influencial member of the community had been good to bring the man to live like Hannibal Lector, whether he ate people or not. She would make sure that he would stay there forever, he would never see the sky, the sun, the stars ever again. Just like her Pan. She had loved her like a daughter...
And the bastard had to kill her.
The policeman walked by her, his colleagues flanking the man. She stopped them to take a good look at the murderer. He looked like a normal person, but to Bulma, he was an animal, not fit to live amongst them anymore. He had obviously not fared well against Goten and Vegeta. She had been told that he had been close to dying before the two saiyajin had let up. From the casts and bandages, she could see that it was the truth.
" What are you looking at."
" Why did you kill her."
" I felt like it."
With a surge of adrenaline, she hit him with a left hook, leaving a spray of blood. She spat on him and motioned for the policemen to keep walking.
" You bastard. Rot in hell."
*****
Sounds of a lock twisting and door opening echoed through the apartment. Bura stepped through the doorway, closing the door behind her as she called out.
" Trunks! Are you there?"
Bura looked in room after room of Trunks' apartment before spotting him, lying on his bed. Dozens of empty beer bottles lay strewn around on the floor as she entered his room.
" Trunks?"
She carefully sat down beside him, wrenching the half full bottle out of his hands and patting him gently on the cheeks to try and wake him from his drunken stupor.
" Leave me alone..."
" Trunks...talk to me."
Trunks sat up immediately and pushed his sister away, pointing to the door.
" I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need YOU or anyone else to tell me it wasn't my fault!"
" But Trunks...it wasn't."
Trunks' arm sliced through the air in frustration, hurling a nearby lamp into the wall. The ceramic shards littered the floor, joining the empty bottles.
" Damnit Bura! Leave me alone!"
A lump in his throat formed when he caught sight of his sister's forlorn face, looking at him with fear and sadness. When she started sniffling, his shoulders dropped as he put a hand on his sister's shoulders.
" I'm sorry Bura."
Bura shook his hand off and got off his bed, putting her hands on her hips.
" Look Trunks! You're not the only one who's hurting. We all cared about her! Just as much as you did! But it wasn't your fault she died!"
Trunks shook his head sadly.
" You're wrong! I LOVED her Bura...none of you know what that means. I could have found her earlier. I was bonded to her...I could have found her earlier but I didn't. If I had realised earlier I could have saved her. Pan would be alive."
" Don't think about the ifs' Trunks. What happened has already happened. Thinking about the what if scenarios aren't going to help the fact that she's gone."
" No...it was my fault. My fault! Don't you see?"
" Honestly. I don't know why you want it to be your fault. Pan was free when she died. I'm sure she thought that...she knew you loved her before she died right?"
" Yeh."
" Then...she would have died happy."
" What would you know about it?"
Bura slapped her brother hard on the cheek before taking a step back. A red hand mark on his face matched the stinging red of her palm.
" Of course I'd know. She was my best friend. You're being selfish Trunks. You really are. You're not the only one hurting...open your eyes."
Trunks watched his sister stalk out of his room. A loud bang signalled that she had taken her leave. Emotionally exhausted, he lay back on his bed, acutely aware of the stinging pain which brought back so many memories. He closed his eyes.
Flashback. To the fight they had had that first fateful night. The night that had started it all.
" You don't understand...Will YOU miss me?"
Of course I will.
" Why do you have to be so blind?"
I'm sorry...I know I should have been there.
" I don't understand...It makes me so angry...it hurts inside."
I'm sorry...it's my fault...
Then she'd slapped him. Caused the same red marks, though the pain was much worse now. Not from the stinging blow, but the pain that she was gone.
If I had gone after her that night...I wouldn't be where I am right now...you wouldn't be dead.
" It's too painful now to watch you with all those girls."
He'd had a one night stand. With a woman he didn't even know...that he'd picked up at a bar. While she was held captive...while she was going through the fear of never escaping. Dying.
He opened his eyes to find himself in a room, an expanse of white which was endless.
" Where am I?"
" We're in your mind...I'll only be here a little while though."
The familiar voice sent a shiver down his spine as he whirled around, searching for the voice.
She stood there, an angel now, with the golden halo above her head smiling at him. Her eyes glistened with tears as he rushed to hug her, to feel her...to know she was really there. His arms held her tightly.
" Trunks...you have to let go. I don't have much time."
" Pan...I'm so sorry I didn't make it on time."
Trunks had expected Pan's angry voice, but was surprised with fresh peals of laughter. She shoved him playfully and gave him a light kiss, holding his head so she could meet him eye to eye.
" ...You're so silly Trunks. It wasn't your fault...I shouldn't have run away. I know that now."
" No...you don't understand...if I had-"
" Shh...I know everything that happened. Why do you have to blame yourself? I'm not exactly happy about that girl...but you got me out of there Trunks. You did me justice...and you made me happy before I died."
" But-"
" But nothing! Be happy ok? None of this was your fault. I've got to go...I'll wait for you forever Trunks. I'll love you forever...remember that. Don't do anything foolish ok? Or I won't forgive you!"
Trunks held onto Pan tighter, but found that she was disappearing before him.
" No! Pan! Don't leave me again! I love you!"
" I never left you."
Pan smiled at him again and kissed him once last time, before completely disppearing.
**************
A figure walked along the stone path, a bunch of beautiful flowers in the air. A light breeze blew, the perfume of the flowers tickling his nose as he approached the grave. The polished marble shone in the sunlight as he placed the flowers on the grass. He bowed.
" Hey Pan. Just came to visit."
There was no answer, and he had expected none as he stared at the words cut deep into the stone. Pan Son. He kissed his fingers lightly and touched them to the carefully etched letters as his eyes filled with tears. It had been a year since then.
And I haven't done anything foolish Pan.
He had kept on with his old life, running Capsule Corp like he did before. But no m ore womanizing. That was left to her Uncle Goten.
" Sir...your presence is required back at the company."
A well built man wearing a black suit and sunglasses appeared before him, standing rather stiffly. His body guards. Of course, being a saiyajin, he hadn't needed a bodyguard. His mother had insisted. To keep up appearances she had said...but he figured it was more likely that it was to keep him running away from the office.
" I'm coming. Wait in the car."
" yes sir."
He waited until the man was gone before running a hand through his soft lavender hair and standing up, smoothing out the creases on his suit.
" Ja ne Panny...You'd better be waiting for me...Aishiteru...until then."
Turning quickly, he walked off to the gleaming black limo waiting for him.
Up in heaven, a girl snorted indignantly with her arms crossed over her chest. However, her lips were curved in a classic Son smile.
" Of course I'm waiting! Aishiteru Trunks. Until then."
*********
~ Owari ~
*********
Author's notes: Wahoo! Finish finish finish! Yay. Sorry if this chapter was a little jumpy...I usually write it a whole block to keep up the continuity but this time...twas a bit too long for that. Gomen!
For awhile there I contemplated killing off Trunks too (That would have been a complete tragedy!) but then I thought...would someone try to kill me for killing off BOTH of them? Probably. So I decided to play it a little safer...besides I didn't wanna be responsible for the both of em dying. Review please! Until next time, ja ne!
The sun shone brightly in the sky, as if it was another perfect and happy summer day. Bura walked along, holding a single red rose, on the lush green lawn of the cemetary. A sea of black could be seen in the distance. The gathering of all of Pan's loved ones, as well as the nosy press. She pushed the brim of her black hat lower, trying to hide her face from the flashing cameras as her father proceeded to hit each photographer until they became a dot in the sky.
She walked steadily on, staring into her brother's familiar back. It had been a week since...then. He had sunk further and further into depression. He had not eaten, drunk or slept which alarmed everybody, especially her. She knew that Trunks had loved Pan more than anything. She had heard him say so that night...She had already lost her best friend. She didn't want to lose her brother also.
" Onii-chan..."
She walked by his side, hoping he would acknowledge her. She was taken aback when she saw his face. His eyes were bloodshot, dark circles beneath his eyes from lack of sleep. He looked so haunted, so unlike her usual happy go lucky brother. She took his hand and squeezed it, her eyes shining with tears.
" Bura. Leave me alone please."
His voice was hoarse and low, shaky from emotions as he spoke. He took his hand out of Bura's grasp and stuck it in his pocket before walking dejectedly on. Bura dabbed her tears away from her eyes and kept on behind her brother.
*****
Why did you come for me?
After all this...
Why did you come for me?
Why?
Pan's sorrowful voice echoed through his mind as he sat, removed from all the hushed voices, whispering their condolences. Trunks clenched his fists tightly in his lap as he leaned forward, resting his forehead on his hands.
I'm sorry Pan. I came too late...It's my fault you died.
You know Trunks...I held on just for you.
You shouldn't have...I don't deserve you. I was too late to save you. I didn't realise soon enough. I should have known from the beginning.
I should have known.
I should have.
Tears ran unchecked as he clenched his fists tightly. His fingernails dug into his hands, allowing a steady flow of blood to drip onto the grass.
She had asked him. Why did he come? She thought he didn't care. He had said he loved her forever...He had asked her not to leave. But she did.
" I said I loved her...so why did she leave?" he whispered.
Footsteps, shadows and then a dull thud as someone took a seat next to him.
" She didn't leave you alone."
He rubbed at his temples and turned his head to stare up at Gohan sitting stiffly beside him.
" You don't understand."
" Of course I do. She's my daughter."
" You don't. I could have saved her..."
" How could you have saved her? You didn't know where she was...at least you gave her a chance."
Trunks choked back a sob and slammed his fist into his hand. Soft lavender hair whipped around in a wild disarray as he jerked back.
" No Gohan. You don't understand. I knew where she was all along. My dad...he told me if I had believed...I would have known. I could have found her sooner Gohan. Pan would be ALIVE."
Gohan's eyes widened at Trunks' sudden outburst. He hadn't wanted to do this. He was in enough pain as it was...but Videl had insisted. Trunks had looked so torn and lost...
" Trunks what do you mean you knew where she is?"
" I was flying through the skys...going blindly...anywhere and suddenly it hit me. I knew where she was because I admitted to myself I loved her. But...I was too late. I could have realised sooner! If I hadn't tried to deny it...I could have saved her. It's my fault she's dead!"
Gohan grabbed him by the collar and shook him hard.
" Get a grip Trunks. It's no one's fault but that bastard who stabbed her and he'll pay for what he did. You saved her...you freed her Trunks. You let her die happy...and I'll be grateful to you for that."
Trunks was once again lost in his own thoughts as Gohan's words confused him. It was his fault wasn't it?
*****
Bulma tapped her foot impatiently as the policemen rushed around. She had taken it upon herself to build a brand new jail cell so that sorry excuse of a man could live in for the rest of his sorry life. Though her husband and Goten had beaten him to a pulp, she wasn't satisfied. The psychiatrist had found the man to be insane. There was no motive behind the murder...
He had just felt like it.
Of course, being such an influencial member of the community had been good to bring the man to live like Hannibal Lector, whether he ate people or not. She would make sure that he would stay there forever, he would never see the sky, the sun, the stars ever again. Just like her Pan. She had loved her like a daughter...
And the bastard had to kill her.
The policeman walked by her, his colleagues flanking the man. She stopped them to take a good look at the murderer. He looked like a normal person, but to Bulma, he was an animal, not fit to live amongst them anymore. He had obviously not fared well against Goten and Vegeta. She had been told that he had been close to dying before the two saiyajin had let up. From the casts and bandages, she could see that it was the truth.
" What are you looking at."
" Why did you kill her."
" I felt like it."
With a surge of adrenaline, she hit him with a left hook, leaving a spray of blood. She spat on him and motioned for the policemen to keep walking.
" You bastard. Rot in hell."
*****
Sounds of a lock twisting and door opening echoed through the apartment. Bura stepped through the doorway, closing the door behind her as she called out.
" Trunks! Are you there?"
Bura looked in room after room of Trunks' apartment before spotting him, lying on his bed. Dozens of empty beer bottles lay strewn around on the floor as she entered his room.
" Trunks?"
She carefully sat down beside him, wrenching the half full bottle out of his hands and patting him gently on the cheeks to try and wake him from his drunken stupor.
" Leave me alone..."
" Trunks...talk to me."
Trunks sat up immediately and pushed his sister away, pointing to the door.
" I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need YOU or anyone else to tell me it wasn't my fault!"
" But Trunks...it wasn't."
Trunks' arm sliced through the air in frustration, hurling a nearby lamp into the wall. The ceramic shards littered the floor, joining the empty bottles.
" Damnit Bura! Leave me alone!"
A lump in his throat formed when he caught sight of his sister's forlorn face, looking at him with fear and sadness. When she started sniffling, his shoulders dropped as he put a hand on his sister's shoulders.
" I'm sorry Bura."
Bura shook his hand off and got off his bed, putting her hands on her hips.
" Look Trunks! You're not the only one who's hurting. We all cared about her! Just as much as you did! But it wasn't your fault she died!"
Trunks shook his head sadly.
" You're wrong! I LOVED her Bura...none of you know what that means. I could have found her earlier. I was bonded to her...I could have found her earlier but I didn't. If I had realised earlier I could have saved her. Pan would be alive."
" Don't think about the ifs' Trunks. What happened has already happened. Thinking about the what if scenarios aren't going to help the fact that she's gone."
" No...it was my fault. My fault! Don't you see?"
" Honestly. I don't know why you want it to be your fault. Pan was free when she died. I'm sure she thought that...she knew you loved her before she died right?"
" Yeh."
" Then...she would have died happy."
" What would you know about it?"
Bura slapped her brother hard on the cheek before taking a step back. A red hand mark on his face matched the stinging red of her palm.
" Of course I'd know. She was my best friend. You're being selfish Trunks. You really are. You're not the only one hurting...open your eyes."
Trunks watched his sister stalk out of his room. A loud bang signalled that she had taken her leave. Emotionally exhausted, he lay back on his bed, acutely aware of the stinging pain which brought back so many memories. He closed his eyes.
Flashback. To the fight they had had that first fateful night. The night that had started it all.
" You don't understand...Will YOU miss me?"
Of course I will.
" Why do you have to be so blind?"
I'm sorry...I know I should have been there.
" I don't understand...It makes me so angry...it hurts inside."
I'm sorry...it's my fault...
Then she'd slapped him. Caused the same red marks, though the pain was much worse now. Not from the stinging blow, but the pain that she was gone.
If I had gone after her that night...I wouldn't be where I am right now...you wouldn't be dead.
" It's too painful now to watch you with all those girls."
He'd had a one night stand. With a woman he didn't even know...that he'd picked up at a bar. While she was held captive...while she was going through the fear of never escaping. Dying.
He opened his eyes to find himself in a room, an expanse of white which was endless.
" Where am I?"
" We're in your mind...I'll only be here a little while though."
The familiar voice sent a shiver down his spine as he whirled around, searching for the voice.
She stood there, an angel now, with the golden halo above her head smiling at him. Her eyes glistened with tears as he rushed to hug her, to feel her...to know she was really there. His arms held her tightly.
" Trunks...you have to let go. I don't have much time."
" Pan...I'm so sorry I didn't make it on time."
Trunks had expected Pan's angry voice, but was surprised with fresh peals of laughter. She shoved him playfully and gave him a light kiss, holding his head so she could meet him eye to eye.
" ...You're so silly Trunks. It wasn't your fault...I shouldn't have run away. I know that now."
" No...you don't understand...if I had-"
" Shh...I know everything that happened. Why do you have to blame yourself? I'm not exactly happy about that girl...but you got me out of there Trunks. You did me justice...and you made me happy before I died."
" But-"
" But nothing! Be happy ok? None of this was your fault. I've got to go...I'll wait for you forever Trunks. I'll love you forever...remember that. Don't do anything foolish ok? Or I won't forgive you!"
Trunks held onto Pan tighter, but found that she was disappearing before him.
" No! Pan! Don't leave me again! I love you!"
" I never left you."
Pan smiled at him again and kissed him once last time, before completely disppearing.
**************
A figure walked along the stone path, a bunch of beautiful flowers in the air. A light breeze blew, the perfume of the flowers tickling his nose as he approached the grave. The polished marble shone in the sunlight as he placed the flowers on the grass. He bowed.
" Hey Pan. Just came to visit."
There was no answer, and he had expected none as he stared at the words cut deep into the stone. Pan Son. He kissed his fingers lightly and touched them to the carefully etched letters as his eyes filled with tears. It had been a year since then.
And I haven't done anything foolish Pan.
He had kept on with his old life, running Capsule Corp like he did before. But no m ore womanizing. That was left to her Uncle Goten.
" Sir...your presence is required back at the company."
A well built man wearing a black suit and sunglasses appeared before him, standing rather stiffly. His body guards. Of course, being a saiyajin, he hadn't needed a bodyguard. His mother had insisted. To keep up appearances she had said...but he figured it was more likely that it was to keep him running away from the office.
" I'm coming. Wait in the car."
" yes sir."
He waited until the man was gone before running a hand through his soft lavender hair and standing up, smoothing out the creases on his suit.
" Ja ne Panny...You'd better be waiting for me...Aishiteru...until then."
Turning quickly, he walked off to the gleaming black limo waiting for him.
Up in heaven, a girl snorted indignantly with her arms crossed over her chest. However, her lips were curved in a classic Son smile.
" Of course I'm waiting! Aishiteru Trunks. Until then."
*********
~ Owari ~
*********
Author's notes: Wahoo! Finish finish finish! Yay. Sorry if this chapter was a little jumpy...I usually write it a whole block to keep up the continuity but this time...twas a bit too long for that. Gomen!
For awhile there I contemplated killing off Trunks too (That would have been a complete tragedy!) but then I thought...would someone try to kill me for killing off BOTH of them? Probably. So I decided to play it a little safer...besides I didn't wanna be responsible for the both of em dying. Review please! Until next time, ja ne!