He sits alone. The cemetery is completely dark and
quiet, just how he likes it. A quarter bottle of bourbon rests at
his side, the remainder ¾ of the bottle consumed in an alarmingly
short span of time. Spike wants to numb his emotions...the anger,
the pain, the grief. In one fell swoop he had managed to ruin his
chances of Buffy falling in love with him, drive off the only other woman
he had ever really loved, and to top it off, all of his 'friends' had shunned
him. He does not belong with his kind, and had not for months, but
he does not have a place with the humans any more either. Spike withdraws
into his mind, wondering if there is even a purpose to being on this earth
any more.
He can not will his pain away, so perhaps the alcohol
will do the trick. It never does. But tonight there are contingencies.
The sun is due to rise over the horizon soon. He trusts the pain
those rays will inflict couldn't possible be worse than anything he has
already faced. And then, sweet nothing. His will to survive
is slipping away…once again. That's where I come in…literally.
I always know where he is. If I didn't know it instinctively,
then I would still know where he is tonight. You see, I know William.
I've been with him through it all. Well, not really. Only from
the day he met his fate at the hands and fangs of Drusilla et al.
But you get the idea.
My knees are weak and the hairs on the back of my neck
are standing on end. I can't recall ever being this frightened.
Don't get me wrong. I've been through some pretty horrific events.
Most of them in my nightmares, but enough of them in reality. You
can't imagine how difficult it is to defend someone's physical and spiritual
being when he doesn't even know you exist and isn't supposed to.
I've lain awake for hours during the day just wishing I didn't have to
live like this. But I do and I am. So, there's no use complaining
about it or wishing it away. If I hadn't chosen this assignment (is
that really the correct word?), then I would have long been dead…worm food…sawing
logs for eternity. So, you see, I really have no right or reason
to whine.
It could certainly be worse. I mean, take the one
assigned to Liam for example. Oh, man, what a job. Can't say
that he's bringing old Angelus through with flying colors, but he's doing
what he can with what he has. I have to admit I really admired the
way he enabled the curse that Willow was attempting. She wouldn't
have been able to restore the soul without him. We had all given
up Liam for lost until that moment. Sometimes this job has its rewards.
Sometimes it doesn't. That's why I'm here today. Ready to give
up my job and return to the dust from which I came. That's the punishment,
you know. The punishment for revealing yourself, and interacting
with your charge. I just can't do this any other way. I've
run out of options. Besides, what's one little seraph compared to
the fate of the world, right?
I can feel the faint buzz that accompanies the rise of
the sun. I knew he feels it too. It is getting closer.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a second.
I have to force the sheer terror back down to my subconscious, or I'll
never do this.
A young, handsome man cowered down a dark alley.
It seemed as if a tall, dark beauty of a woman with a long, flowing dress
was kissing him. No, that's definitely not a kiss. Blood dripped
down his neck and stained his classy but modest jacket. His moans
of pain and delight echoed through the street.
A few feet away stood a young woman, dressed in clothes
of the same period. Her medium length brown hair framed her face
as her dark brown eyes looked on in terror. She stood by, unable
to interfere and screamed to the old man accompanying her.
"Why are you showing me this?! I don't understand!"
"This is a scene that is played dozens of times a night,
all over the world. That creature before the lad is a vampire."
The grey haired man looked down at her, speaking slowly as to not frighten
her more than she already was.
Her eyes looked into his quizzically. Sure she had
heard of vampires and knew what they were, but there were as real to her
as Santa Claus, werewolves and witches…all just stories to scare and entertain
small children. Perhaps, instead of being in Purgatory as she was
told, this was indeed Hell.
"Vampires aren't real." She lifted her head high,
and stared into his eyes again, trying to convey some strength and wisdom.
"Yes, Danielle, they are. The man before us is about
to become one of the most terrifying, wretched beings on this planet or
any other. He will kill humans violently, trying to satisfy his animal
urges that the demon from within provide. This is not his destiny."
The man said the last sentence poignantly. "Now, he needs guidance
to fulfill what has been written."
"What has been written? What is that supposed
to mean?" Danielle was becoming quite rattled. Not only had
she died just a few hours ago, leaving her family and friends behind, but
now a strange man was telling her that the world is full of real vampires
and she was expected to…God, what was she expected to do?!
Tears forced their way to her eyes, blurring the white cloaked man beside
her. "I-I don't understand any of this!" He put his
hand on her shoulder in feigned consolation.
"There, there, girl. We all have our destinies.
Somehow William's, here, got pushed off course a tad bit…ok, a lot
bit. You will have the unique position of putting right what went
wrong."
The words swarmed through her head: "destiny", "vampire",
"guidance". All words that mean nothing to her now, but would become
her own providence over the next centuries.
I walk up behind him tentatively, unsure of how exactly
to approach him. I haven't truly interacted with a single living
being in over 100 years. I'm not sure how to do it any more.
Now my whole body tingles and aches. Is this what facing your own
damnation feels like? Well, here goes everything. "William?"
"Now, my boy…the fun begins." Angelus's face was
the embodiment of pure evil. He had no soul to contend with and no
ties to the world to hinder his wants and desire. Before him, the
smaller vampire fought to understand what is happening. Drusilla
comforted him, drawing him near. "Shhhh. Mommy will make it
all better." She gently pulled his head to her breast and stroked
his brown, wavy hair.
In an instant Angelus violently yanked the dark vampire
away from the fledgling. "We'll have none of that!!" Darla
giggled evilly in the background. "To be one of us…truly one of us,
you have to show me that you are worthy. If not, then there is no
reason to keep you around. Got it, whelp?" Drusilla whined,
hoping not to lose her new toy, especially since she hadn't gotten to play
with him yet.
Despite his trepidation, he managed to look up with an
expression mirrored from his grandsire. "Clear as crystal."
"Good. Now that that's understood...shall we Willy,
my boy?" His white, muscular arm extended toward William offering
to lead him away. To where, the young vampire was not certain.
"So, let's go have some fun with your old family, shall
we?"
The foursome jaunted away, the two females with a skip
in their steps.
Not three yards away, Danielle, looked on in disgusting
realization. "What now?" she pleaded with the old man.
"You have to guide him. You will be the small voice
in the back of his head prodding him to do the right thing. You will
be there every step of his existence, showing him the way."
"But, how?"
She turned to face him but he was gone. She would
never see him again.
My voice was so small, perhaps he did not hear me.
"Spike?" There. That was louder. He's
drunkenly turning to look at me. But what do I say? He has
no idea who I am. For all he knows, I'm just a figment of his imagination.
Oh, I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't be breaking rules like
this. I shouldn't…
"Buffffy?"
I step a little closer. "No. Um, my name's
Danielle." He's seen me now. There's no turning back, I guess.
"Great. It's wonderful to meet you. Now bugger
off!" He turns back around, resuming his position facing East.
Another deep breath. That's it, Danielle.
You can do this. You have to do this. He can't let it
end like this. He still has more to do.
He sat there in an old wheelchair, a familiar grimace
on his pale but un-aged face. His dark princess, his love, his life
sits with that-that-that thing! From day one that man tormented
Spike, making his unlife a living (ahem) Hell. Now he is taking away
the only thing that makes this vampiric life of his worth holding onto…Dru.
He shook his head as it bowed down.
The tiny voice in his head was getting louder and louder,
inciting his hatred for the powerful vampire. "Destroy him!"
Now, Spike was used to having stray thoughts come out
of nowhere, but this was decidedly louder than usual.
'Where the bloody hell did that come from?' Spike
looked around the room frantically.
"If you kill him and prevent the apocalypse, she will
come back to you." He must be thinking aloud again he thought.
Oh bloody hell, how he hoped the pillock didn't hear that too. He
glanced over at the two lovers, but they did not appear to have heard the
voice.
"Buffy will help you if you ask."
Spike argued with himself for a while, devising a plan.
'Oh, right. "Buffy, I'm so sorry I've teamed up with your lover turned
mortal enemy, tried to kill you and your friends, and planned to end the
world, but you see, I really need to get my poopsie back."' He contemplated
his ideas for a moment.
Silence.
'Hmm. Might just work at that.'
I cautiously approach then sit next to him on the rock.
He just looks at me with that cute little expression he always uses.
"What part of 'bugger off' did you not understand?"
I can't help but smile. I've always dreamt of this moment.
"Probably the 'bugger'. No, maybe it was the 'off'."
I flash him my most comforting smile.
"Listen you stupid bint. I'm not in the mood for
games. I came here to solve some problems and I can't do that if
you sit here bugging me. Alright? So, SOD OFF!!" His
arm shoots out and shoves me with diluted vampire strength back off the
rock. I should be more offended, but this is my Spike I'm
dealing with here. My arms work with my legs to stand back up and
I dust off my blue jeans. 'I've come this far,' I think to myself.
