The story is mine, but the charatcters are not. They wee borrowed from BTVS and ATS, without
permission, and belong to J Whedom, Fox, and Mutant Enemy, etc.
Xander gets a new job.
Buffy heard a faint snap behind her, and whirled, reaching for a stake.
"Xander," she cried, halting her forward thrust. "One of these days, you're going to get
yourself killed. What are you doing here."
"Oh, er, just a question." Xander seemed much more subdued than usual, but if Buffy
noticed, she never let on. "How's Dawn," he blurted out.
Buffy stared. "You came all the way out here, nearly got yourself staked, just to ask about
Dawn? Couldn't you pick up a phone?"
"It's just that I worry about the kid. Is she talking to herself, or holding conversations when
there's nobody there but her?"
"You mean has she got an invisible friend. C'mon Xander. she too old for that sort of
thing."
"Yes, well, with this being the hellmouth and all, you never know."He waited a moment.
"Well does she?"
Buffy sighed. "No Xander she doesn't. Does that put your mind at ease?"
"Yeah Buff," Xander smiled, "it does. A lot. Thanks."
"Well, got to go now."
Buffy stared after him, and wondered what that was all about. She shook her head. Xander
was being Xander and she'd deal with that later. Right now, one more swing through Redfield and
she'd call it quits.
A half an hour later, Buffy entered her house, and quietly shut the door behind her. Her
Mom was surely in bed, still tired out from the hospital, and Dawn had school.
Upstair's, her Mom's bedroom door was closed, and so was Dawn's except she could hear
Dawn's voice from within. She was talking to somebody, and as far as she knew, Dawn wasn't
having anyone over. Buffy snuck closer to her sister's door. Dawn giggled. Buffy flung open the
door.
Dawn was sitting on her bed, staring wide eyed at her.
There was nobody else in the room.
-------------------------------------------------------
"Hey Giles, Will, what's up?" Buffy dropped her bag in the danger room, and walked over
to research central. Where Giles was perusing a book, while Willow tapped at her computer.
Willow glanced up.
"Hey. Not much, up I mean." Willow glanced at her screen. "There's this MX who's
flooding the chat rooms and mailing lists, I subscribe to, with questions about Spirit Guides."
"Spirits need guides?"
"Not that kind of guide. A spirit guide helps a living person find his way through the
spiritual realms."
"Not something I need to worry about though. Which is good, because with college,
vamps, demons, Dawn's invisible friends and nearly staking Xander, my life is kind of full."
"Dawn has an invisible friend?"
"You nearly staked Xander?"
"Yes to both, and strangely enough both are related."
"Er, how so?"
"Xander was asking if Dawn had an invisible friend, and when I got home, she was talking
away in her room and when I looked in, there was no one there."
"Why would Xander ask that? It seems strange. Come to think of it, he hasn't been around
for a few days. At least I haven't seen him. Giles have you seen him?"
"Come to think of it, he hasn't been around much, except for an hour late last week. I
believe he wanted to use the computer."
"The computer?" Willow paused to think. Then, without a word, she started typing fast,
and a file came up on the screen. "What day was this Giles, about what time."
"I believe it was Thursday afternoon." Willow scrolled up the file. "Willow, may I ask
what you are doing?"
"With all the research done on this computer, I thought that it would be better to keep a
record f what was done, in case it was ever needed. So I put on a keylogger, which captures all
the keystrokes made here." Willow squinted a bit. "Here we are, lets see. He's listed my
bookmark files, and... why would Xander want to know about Spirit Guides? He's searched the
data base, and all the files. You don't think he knows something do you?"
"If it's about Dawn he'd better not be holding out on us."
"Wait, there's another line here." Willow looked closer, then reached for a pen and paper.
"The Mallorean, page 358, paragraph eight." She handed the paper to Giles. "The Mallorean,
what's that?"
"It's one of the books that came in with the last shipment." Giles rose and walked over to
the far book shelf, where he puled out a thick red leather volume. "I haven't looked at this, though
apparently, Xander has." Giles started turning pages. "This is written in an early form of
pre-romanic latin, I wasn't aware that his level of expertise was up to this level. Let's see, page
358, paragraph eight." Giles paused to read, translating as he went along. "Oh dear."
"Have I ever mentioned how I hate it when you say that?"
"Giles what is it?"
"This is a rough translation, but: 'In the day, when the Slayer has charge over the key, the
greatest and the least of her friends and allies will be slain. This person will then take the position
of Spirit Guide for the Key, lest it fall under the sway of another."
"Giles, that can't be right."
"Willow," Giles was a little miffed by that response, yet he too hoped that he had made an
error. "Would you check it." He passed her the book. "Your knowledge of linguistics is almost
as extensive as mine."
"Right, on it." Willow all but grabbed the book out of his hands. Giles and Buffy sat in
silence, as she worked, checking the book, various dictionaries, and various computer searches.
Finally after an hour and a half, her shoulders slumped. "Yep, that's what it says."
Buffy stared at Giles. "That couldn't be right could it?"
"We don't have enough information to really make that decision, what we do know is not
promising."
"But we don't rally know much, do we?"
"I don't believe that Xander worked alone. For one thing, as improved as his research
skills are, he has never shown any interest in ancient linguistics, even less than you do Buffy."
"So, he must have had help."
"Very likely. Also, he would have had to have known where to look. Willow," Giles
turned to the red headed witch. "Would you print out a copy of that file, er, just the relevant
sections, and please remove that infernal device from my computer. Perhaps you could make a
copy of that prophecy as well."
"On it."
Buffy glanced at Giles, nervously. "Giles what are we going to do, if we can't reverse or
change this?"
"I don't know. It appears that Xander believes that this prophecy relates to him, and there
is a case for him to be the greatest and least of your friends and allies. He has done some research
and continues to do more, if this MX chap is him, which I believe to be likely. I think we should
give him a chance to tell us what he knows."
"I am, I'm going to talk to him right now."
"Er, i think it best we all go, and Buffy?"
"Yes?"
"We had better consider the possibility that we cannot, or perhaps, should not, stop this
from happening."
"Giles, what are you saying?"
"Merely that if Dawn does get a Spirit Guide, it would be best if he were on our side."
--------------------------------------------------------
"You should tell them." Janna leaned forward and stirred the beans in the pot. She glanced
over the wind swept plains, and turned back to Xander. "Don't they have a right to know?"
If they knew, they'd try to change it." Xander never got used to seeing Ms. Calender, er,
Janna as she liked to be called, in this setting, even though they'd been meeting here for over a
week now. "You know they would. They'll find out soon enough."
----------------------------------------------------------
"He is keeping something from us," snarled Buffy, outside the door to Xander's apartment.
She, Giles, and Willow, had gone directly there from the Magic Box, and each of them had taken
turns ringing and knocking. Even though Buffy could hear Xander's voice coming in from inside
the apartment, he hadn't come to answer the door.
A simple twist of the knob, and the cheap lock was broken. Inside they found Xander
sitting in his chair. A quick check showed there was no one else there.
"I don't get it," Willow wandered back into the living room. "Who's he talking to? There's
nobody here."
"Well, he's a little bit old to have an invisible friend." Buffy moved towards Xander only
to be stopped by Giles.
"Perhaps it would be better to wait. Let him wake up so to speak."
"He's asleep?"
"Er, no I don't believe so." Giles examined Xander closer. "A trance state, possibly. He
certainly isn't aware of us."
"A week," cried Xander. "That's all I've got left?"
"What?" Willow stared wide eyed. "He sounds panicky. What happens in a week."
"Willow, chill." Buffy was getting a tad frustrated. "We'll all find out when he wakes up,
comes back, or what ever he does to come back to normal."
"Perhaps if you know how to operate this." Buffy and Willow turned to see Giles
examining an old computer. "I'm not familiar with these."
"A Macintosh Plus, and its got a modem." Willow reached around the back and turned it
on. Almost immediately the printer beside it started chattering. A three page document, printed
three times was spit out.
"Hi:
"If you are reading this, then either I am dead, or something has happened to cause Willow
to review the keylogger file, yes I know about that, on the computer at the shop.
About three weeks ago, I started getting these dreams, concerning Ms. Calendar and Dawn.
Well mostly Ms. Calendar, or Janna as she wants to be called, is in them, and I suppose it's better
to start with her.
When she died, or shortly after, she was given a chance to become a Spirit Guide for some
kid in Outer Mongolia, who's starting to explore the higher more spiritual realms. Janna is there to
see that her ward, when out of body, doesn't get hurt or something like that. She also offers advice
and counselling, though the kid is free to ignore her advice, even if Janna knows her ward is dead
wrong.
To keep this short, Janna says the PTB want me to be a Spirit Guide, with Dawn as my
ward. She says, they're breaking some pretty major rules, but I'm the only one who can ward off
all the Spirit baddies that are starting to hover around the Dawnmeister.
Kind of ironic isn't it. I finally get a purpose in life, but I've gotta be dead to do it.
I don't know what'll happen if I don't do this, God knows I don't want to die. Something
bad I guess, so I guess I'll do it.
Buffy, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. Janna said that you should know, and we spent many an
hour around the camp fire, oh yeah, being a Spirit Guide means being able to dream up your own
digs, and hers is a camp in the middle of a wind swept plain, arguing about it and I agree, really I
do. But if I told you, you'd spend the rest of the time I had left trying to change what's going to
happen and the rest of your life blaming yourself for not succeeding, or succeeding and tossing
Dawn to the wolves, and they're starting to circle.
I'm going into this with my eyes wide open Buff. All you got to do is let it happen. No
matter how hard it is.
I called you my hero once, I meant it then I mean it now.
Willow, by now you've figured I'm MX, the guy who's asking all these questions about
Spirit guides and such, Sorry about borrowing your bookmarks without asking, but i couldn't very
well do that and keep things secret. I figured you'd have the best pipeline into this kind of thing,
and watching over your shoulders taught me much more about computers than school ever did,
even when you were doing the teaching.
Witness what i did with the Macintosh. Remember when we found it in old Mr. Barker's
trash? You couldn't understand why I didn't leave it there. We were young then, barely halfway
through our junior year at Sunnydale High. Even then I knew computers weren't going to be a
strong point for me, and Macs wee supposed to be simple machines. You know how it goes,
simple computer, dumb guy, well it worked for me.
I'd like you to keep it Will. You don't even have to use it, but when I'm looking in from the
other side and i see it there, I can pretend we're still part of each other's life.
You are my oldest and my best friend. We grew up together and I can't imagine living, er
unliving, well I don't know what I will be doing, but I can't imagine doing it without you. I guess I
will be but life is going to be all the poorer without you in it.
Giles, you were the father my real one never was. I may not have shown it, but I've looked
up to you for a long time and there will always be a part of me that's going to want to go and visit
the G-man.
Look, promise me you'll look after Anya. She can be infuriating, tasteless, exsasperating
all at the same time, but one doesn't go from being a thousand year old ex-demon with a bad
attitude to decent human being over night, or even over year, but she's trying, really she is, and she
has a long way to go.
Hey, Willow, Buffy, Dawn, Giles, Oz, Cordelia, hell even Angel, Wesley, and Spike, you
were my 'family' and I'll miss each one of you. Okay I'll miss some more than others, but I'll be
watching from the other side, and we'll be able to talk through Dawn. Just don't place too heavy of
a burden on her, okay. None of this is her fault.
Tell the Dawnmeister that, real or not, I'll always treasure the memories of all the good
times we had together.
Don't you go taking the blame either. None of this is your fault, just another episode of life
on the hellmouth.
Love you all
Xander.
------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh man." All of them tuned to see Xander stirring in his chair. His eyes popped open, but
it took a few moments for them to focus. "You're here, you're all here, and looking at my computer.
Why are you looking at my computer?" He spotted the papers in their hands. "Oh. Then you
know."
"Yeah we know." The Slayer stalked over to stand in front of him. "When were you going
to tell us? Maybe we couldn't have fixed it, but didn't we deserve the chance to try? Don't we
deserve more than just a letter?"
"Yes you did, Buffy, and you do. I'm sorry for that, but not for not telling you sooner. Look,
what's got you more upset, me not telling ou, or not being able to tilt at a windmill? When have
you missed an opportunity to do what you thought was right, and hang the consequences?"
"But..."
"Buffy, you've built up a load of guilt over things that's just not your fault. I just didn't,
don't, want to add to it, particularily as we both know you're going to try and we both know how it
has to end up. Whatever Dawn is, or isn't, she's too important to let fall under the wrong
influences. Promise me you won't try Buffy. Promise me you'll just let it happen."
"But..."
"Promise."
"I can't Xander, I won't. Best I can do is if I can't find another way, one that will work, I
won't stop it."
"That's my Buffy." Xander grinned. "Janna spent several months trying to find another
way, before telling me, and they got way more resources than we do."
"Xander?"
"Yes Willow," Xander looked over at his oldest friend. "You going to scold me too?"
"When?" No one needed to ask what she meant.
"Six days."
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Any news?"
"Nope."
Six days later a somber group met at the Magic Box. The LA crowd had come in the night
before for one last al night research party, with pizza and soda and coffees and donuts, ho-hos,
twinkies, enough junk food to pollute an army of health nuts. Nobody wanted to admit it but they
all knew that this was the last time that everybody would be together. They all knew that there was
no hope, but no one wanted to give up with out one last kick at the can.
A punching bag hit the wall.
"I hate waiting," screamed a frustrated Slayer. "I wish it would just happen, and get over
with."
"Well aren't we the impatient one," Cordelia looked up from the book she was reading.
"Some of us are trying to find answers while there's still time."
"We all know what you're feeling, Buffy," Willow added. "We all feel the same."
"Taking it out on the equipment isn't going to help."
"Well pardon me. I need to hit something, and vamps aren't out during the day."
"I wish Xander was here."
Xander was the only one not present at the Magic Box. He'd said his good byes at the
party last night, even managing a heart to heart with Angel, before leaving for his apartment, where
he was going to catch a few hours sleep before going to work the next day. He was going to treat it
as a normal day, and what ever was going to happen was going to happen. Before leaving, he
tossed Gunn his car keys, saying he wanted one last walk in the night, and Buffy started to offeer to
go with him, until his smile reminded her of her promise. Giles told him to be careful, but that was
more automatic than anything else. Willow made him promise to phone as soon as he got home.
Spike grabbed his duster and moved to go with him. Buffy glared, and reminded him that whatever
was going to happen had to happen. Spike's answer was that he wouldn't stop it, but whatever did
him in wasn't going to live much long after.
"Xander had arrived home safely.
"The morning dragged, and so did the early part of the afternoon. The Magic Box was
nominally open but no body ws paying much attention to business. Giles was locked in the office,
while the others remained in the back sniping at each other, and generally seeing how mnany
nerves they could get on.
Finally about three thirty, thwre was the faint ringing of the office phone. Five minutes
later, Giles emerged from his office, and walked over to the table, his breath smelling of scotch.
Every eye was on him. Even Angel and Spike were there.
"Well, what is it," demanded Buffy.
"It was Xander's foreman." Giles sta down in a chair, and focused on the far wall before
continuing. "It appears there's been some form of accident at the site..."
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permission, and belong to J Whedom, Fox, and Mutant Enemy, etc.
Xander gets a new job.
Buffy heard a faint snap behind her, and whirled, reaching for a stake.
"Xander," she cried, halting her forward thrust. "One of these days, you're going to get
yourself killed. What are you doing here."
"Oh, er, just a question." Xander seemed much more subdued than usual, but if Buffy
noticed, she never let on. "How's Dawn," he blurted out.
Buffy stared. "You came all the way out here, nearly got yourself staked, just to ask about
Dawn? Couldn't you pick up a phone?"
"It's just that I worry about the kid. Is she talking to herself, or holding conversations when
there's nobody there but her?"
"You mean has she got an invisible friend. C'mon Xander. she too old for that sort of
thing."
"Yes, well, with this being the hellmouth and all, you never know."He waited a moment.
"Well does she?"
Buffy sighed. "No Xander she doesn't. Does that put your mind at ease?"
"Yeah Buff," Xander smiled, "it does. A lot. Thanks."
"Well, got to go now."
Buffy stared after him, and wondered what that was all about. She shook her head. Xander
was being Xander and she'd deal with that later. Right now, one more swing through Redfield and
she'd call it quits.
A half an hour later, Buffy entered her house, and quietly shut the door behind her. Her
Mom was surely in bed, still tired out from the hospital, and Dawn had school.
Upstair's, her Mom's bedroom door was closed, and so was Dawn's except she could hear
Dawn's voice from within. She was talking to somebody, and as far as she knew, Dawn wasn't
having anyone over. Buffy snuck closer to her sister's door. Dawn giggled. Buffy flung open the
door.
Dawn was sitting on her bed, staring wide eyed at her.
There was nobody else in the room.
-------------------------------------------------------
"Hey Giles, Will, what's up?" Buffy dropped her bag in the danger room, and walked over
to research central. Where Giles was perusing a book, while Willow tapped at her computer.
Willow glanced up.
"Hey. Not much, up I mean." Willow glanced at her screen. "There's this MX who's
flooding the chat rooms and mailing lists, I subscribe to, with questions about Spirit Guides."
"Spirits need guides?"
"Not that kind of guide. A spirit guide helps a living person find his way through the
spiritual realms."
"Not something I need to worry about though. Which is good, because with college,
vamps, demons, Dawn's invisible friends and nearly staking Xander, my life is kind of full."
"Dawn has an invisible friend?"
"You nearly staked Xander?"
"Yes to both, and strangely enough both are related."
"Er, how so?"
"Xander was asking if Dawn had an invisible friend, and when I got home, she was talking
away in her room and when I looked in, there was no one there."
"Why would Xander ask that? It seems strange. Come to think of it, he hasn't been around
for a few days. At least I haven't seen him. Giles have you seen him?"
"Come to think of it, he hasn't been around much, except for an hour late last week. I
believe he wanted to use the computer."
"The computer?" Willow paused to think. Then, without a word, she started typing fast,
and a file came up on the screen. "What day was this Giles, about what time."
"I believe it was Thursday afternoon." Willow scrolled up the file. "Willow, may I ask
what you are doing?"
"With all the research done on this computer, I thought that it would be better to keep a
record f what was done, in case it was ever needed. So I put on a keylogger, which captures all
the keystrokes made here." Willow squinted a bit. "Here we are, lets see. He's listed my
bookmark files, and... why would Xander want to know about Spirit Guides? He's searched the
data base, and all the files. You don't think he knows something do you?"
"If it's about Dawn he'd better not be holding out on us."
"Wait, there's another line here." Willow looked closer, then reached for a pen and paper.
"The Mallorean, page 358, paragraph eight." She handed the paper to Giles. "The Mallorean,
what's that?"
"It's one of the books that came in with the last shipment." Giles rose and walked over to
the far book shelf, where he puled out a thick red leather volume. "I haven't looked at this, though
apparently, Xander has." Giles started turning pages. "This is written in an early form of
pre-romanic latin, I wasn't aware that his level of expertise was up to this level. Let's see, page
358, paragraph eight." Giles paused to read, translating as he went along. "Oh dear."
"Have I ever mentioned how I hate it when you say that?"
"Giles what is it?"
"This is a rough translation, but: 'In the day, when the Slayer has charge over the key, the
greatest and the least of her friends and allies will be slain. This person will then take the position
of Spirit Guide for the Key, lest it fall under the sway of another."
"Giles, that can't be right."
"Willow," Giles was a little miffed by that response, yet he too hoped that he had made an
error. "Would you check it." He passed her the book. "Your knowledge of linguistics is almost
as extensive as mine."
"Right, on it." Willow all but grabbed the book out of his hands. Giles and Buffy sat in
silence, as she worked, checking the book, various dictionaries, and various computer searches.
Finally after an hour and a half, her shoulders slumped. "Yep, that's what it says."
Buffy stared at Giles. "That couldn't be right could it?"
"We don't have enough information to really make that decision, what we do know is not
promising."
"But we don't rally know much, do we?"
"I don't believe that Xander worked alone. For one thing, as improved as his research
skills are, he has never shown any interest in ancient linguistics, even less than you do Buffy."
"So, he must have had help."
"Very likely. Also, he would have had to have known where to look. Willow," Giles
turned to the red headed witch. "Would you print out a copy of that file, er, just the relevant
sections, and please remove that infernal device from my computer. Perhaps you could make a
copy of that prophecy as well."
"On it."
Buffy glanced at Giles, nervously. "Giles what are we going to do, if we can't reverse or
change this?"
"I don't know. It appears that Xander believes that this prophecy relates to him, and there
is a case for him to be the greatest and least of your friends and allies. He has done some research
and continues to do more, if this MX chap is him, which I believe to be likely. I think we should
give him a chance to tell us what he knows."
"I am, I'm going to talk to him right now."
"Er, i think it best we all go, and Buffy?"
"Yes?"
"We had better consider the possibility that we cannot, or perhaps, should not, stop this
from happening."
"Giles, what are you saying?"
"Merely that if Dawn does get a Spirit Guide, it would be best if he were on our side."
--------------------------------------------------------
"You should tell them." Janna leaned forward and stirred the beans in the pot. She glanced
over the wind swept plains, and turned back to Xander. "Don't they have a right to know?"
If they knew, they'd try to change it." Xander never got used to seeing Ms. Calender, er,
Janna as she liked to be called, in this setting, even though they'd been meeting here for over a
week now. "You know they would. They'll find out soon enough."
----------------------------------------------------------
"He is keeping something from us," snarled Buffy, outside the door to Xander's apartment.
She, Giles, and Willow, had gone directly there from the Magic Box, and each of them had taken
turns ringing and knocking. Even though Buffy could hear Xander's voice coming in from inside
the apartment, he hadn't come to answer the door.
A simple twist of the knob, and the cheap lock was broken. Inside they found Xander
sitting in his chair. A quick check showed there was no one else there.
"I don't get it," Willow wandered back into the living room. "Who's he talking to? There's
nobody here."
"Well, he's a little bit old to have an invisible friend." Buffy moved towards Xander only
to be stopped by Giles.
"Perhaps it would be better to wait. Let him wake up so to speak."
"He's asleep?"
"Er, no I don't believe so." Giles examined Xander closer. "A trance state, possibly. He
certainly isn't aware of us."
"A week," cried Xander. "That's all I've got left?"
"What?" Willow stared wide eyed. "He sounds panicky. What happens in a week."
"Willow, chill." Buffy was getting a tad frustrated. "We'll all find out when he wakes up,
comes back, or what ever he does to come back to normal."
"Perhaps if you know how to operate this." Buffy and Willow turned to see Giles
examining an old computer. "I'm not familiar with these."
"A Macintosh Plus, and its got a modem." Willow reached around the back and turned it
on. Almost immediately the printer beside it started chattering. A three page document, printed
three times was spit out.
"Hi:
"If you are reading this, then either I am dead, or something has happened to cause Willow
to review the keylogger file, yes I know about that, on the computer at the shop.
About three weeks ago, I started getting these dreams, concerning Ms. Calendar and Dawn.
Well mostly Ms. Calendar, or Janna as she wants to be called, is in them, and I suppose it's better
to start with her.
When she died, or shortly after, she was given a chance to become a Spirit Guide for some
kid in Outer Mongolia, who's starting to explore the higher more spiritual realms. Janna is there to
see that her ward, when out of body, doesn't get hurt or something like that. She also offers advice
and counselling, though the kid is free to ignore her advice, even if Janna knows her ward is dead
wrong.
To keep this short, Janna says the PTB want me to be a Spirit Guide, with Dawn as my
ward. She says, they're breaking some pretty major rules, but I'm the only one who can ward off
all the Spirit baddies that are starting to hover around the Dawnmeister.
Kind of ironic isn't it. I finally get a purpose in life, but I've gotta be dead to do it.
I don't know what'll happen if I don't do this, God knows I don't want to die. Something
bad I guess, so I guess I'll do it.
Buffy, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. Janna said that you should know, and we spent many an
hour around the camp fire, oh yeah, being a Spirit Guide means being able to dream up your own
digs, and hers is a camp in the middle of a wind swept plain, arguing about it and I agree, really I
do. But if I told you, you'd spend the rest of the time I had left trying to change what's going to
happen and the rest of your life blaming yourself for not succeeding, or succeeding and tossing
Dawn to the wolves, and they're starting to circle.
I'm going into this with my eyes wide open Buff. All you got to do is let it happen. No
matter how hard it is.
I called you my hero once, I meant it then I mean it now.
Willow, by now you've figured I'm MX, the guy who's asking all these questions about
Spirit guides and such, Sorry about borrowing your bookmarks without asking, but i couldn't very
well do that and keep things secret. I figured you'd have the best pipeline into this kind of thing,
and watching over your shoulders taught me much more about computers than school ever did,
even when you were doing the teaching.
Witness what i did with the Macintosh. Remember when we found it in old Mr. Barker's
trash? You couldn't understand why I didn't leave it there. We were young then, barely halfway
through our junior year at Sunnydale High. Even then I knew computers weren't going to be a
strong point for me, and Macs wee supposed to be simple machines. You know how it goes,
simple computer, dumb guy, well it worked for me.
I'd like you to keep it Will. You don't even have to use it, but when I'm looking in from the
other side and i see it there, I can pretend we're still part of each other's life.
You are my oldest and my best friend. We grew up together and I can't imagine living, er
unliving, well I don't know what I will be doing, but I can't imagine doing it without you. I guess I
will be but life is going to be all the poorer without you in it.
Giles, you were the father my real one never was. I may not have shown it, but I've looked
up to you for a long time and there will always be a part of me that's going to want to go and visit
the G-man.
Look, promise me you'll look after Anya. She can be infuriating, tasteless, exsasperating
all at the same time, but one doesn't go from being a thousand year old ex-demon with a bad
attitude to decent human being over night, or even over year, but she's trying, really she is, and she
has a long way to go.
Hey, Willow, Buffy, Dawn, Giles, Oz, Cordelia, hell even Angel, Wesley, and Spike, you
were my 'family' and I'll miss each one of you. Okay I'll miss some more than others, but I'll be
watching from the other side, and we'll be able to talk through Dawn. Just don't place too heavy of
a burden on her, okay. None of this is her fault.
Tell the Dawnmeister that, real or not, I'll always treasure the memories of all the good
times we had together.
Don't you go taking the blame either. None of this is your fault, just another episode of life
on the hellmouth.
Love you all
Xander.
------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh man." All of them tuned to see Xander stirring in his chair. His eyes popped open, but
it took a few moments for them to focus. "You're here, you're all here, and looking at my computer.
Why are you looking at my computer?" He spotted the papers in their hands. "Oh. Then you
know."
"Yeah we know." The Slayer stalked over to stand in front of him. "When were you going
to tell us? Maybe we couldn't have fixed it, but didn't we deserve the chance to try? Don't we
deserve more than just a letter?"
"Yes you did, Buffy, and you do. I'm sorry for that, but not for not telling you sooner. Look,
what's got you more upset, me not telling ou, or not being able to tilt at a windmill? When have
you missed an opportunity to do what you thought was right, and hang the consequences?"
"But..."
"Buffy, you've built up a load of guilt over things that's just not your fault. I just didn't,
don't, want to add to it, particularily as we both know you're going to try and we both know how it
has to end up. Whatever Dawn is, or isn't, she's too important to let fall under the wrong
influences. Promise me you won't try Buffy. Promise me you'll just let it happen."
"But..."
"Promise."
"I can't Xander, I won't. Best I can do is if I can't find another way, one that will work, I
won't stop it."
"That's my Buffy." Xander grinned. "Janna spent several months trying to find another
way, before telling me, and they got way more resources than we do."
"Xander?"
"Yes Willow," Xander looked over at his oldest friend. "You going to scold me too?"
"When?" No one needed to ask what she meant.
"Six days."
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Any news?"
"Nope."
Six days later a somber group met at the Magic Box. The LA crowd had come in the night
before for one last al night research party, with pizza and soda and coffees and donuts, ho-hos,
twinkies, enough junk food to pollute an army of health nuts. Nobody wanted to admit it but they
all knew that this was the last time that everybody would be together. They all knew that there was
no hope, but no one wanted to give up with out one last kick at the can.
A punching bag hit the wall.
"I hate waiting," screamed a frustrated Slayer. "I wish it would just happen, and get over
with."
"Well aren't we the impatient one," Cordelia looked up from the book she was reading.
"Some of us are trying to find answers while there's still time."
"We all know what you're feeling, Buffy," Willow added. "We all feel the same."
"Taking it out on the equipment isn't going to help."
"Well pardon me. I need to hit something, and vamps aren't out during the day."
"I wish Xander was here."
Xander was the only one not present at the Magic Box. He'd said his good byes at the
party last night, even managing a heart to heart with Angel, before leaving for his apartment, where
he was going to catch a few hours sleep before going to work the next day. He was going to treat it
as a normal day, and what ever was going to happen was going to happen. Before leaving, he
tossed Gunn his car keys, saying he wanted one last walk in the night, and Buffy started to offeer to
go with him, until his smile reminded her of her promise. Giles told him to be careful, but that was
more automatic than anything else. Willow made him promise to phone as soon as he got home.
Spike grabbed his duster and moved to go with him. Buffy glared, and reminded him that whatever
was going to happen had to happen. Spike's answer was that he wouldn't stop it, but whatever did
him in wasn't going to live much long after.
"Xander had arrived home safely.
"The morning dragged, and so did the early part of the afternoon. The Magic Box was
nominally open but no body ws paying much attention to business. Giles was locked in the office,
while the others remained in the back sniping at each other, and generally seeing how mnany
nerves they could get on.
Finally about three thirty, thwre was the faint ringing of the office phone. Five minutes
later, Giles emerged from his office, and walked over to the table, his breath smelling of scotch.
Every eye was on him. Even Angel and Spike were there.
"Well, what is it," demanded Buffy.
"It was Xander's foreman." Giles sta down in a chair, and focused on the far wall before
continuing. "It appears there's been some form of accident at the site..."
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