Illusion,
Who Lets No One See Her Face…cont'd….
Lying with her eyes wide, Ami waited for the sleep of dreams to
claim her, her head placed in the center of her pillow, arms curled up over her
chest. It was warm and soft, the comfort of a safe bed and a tired body. Please,
let me sleep....I'm tired. Please, let me sleep, and let me dream of Kami
and her world again.... There she waited, looking at the ceiling light, where no
brightness glowed, or at the numbers of her alarm clock. Time ticked by, and
her sight was filled with an ink black haze, perfumed with the texture of a
rich scent....
"Kami-chan,
that is a wonderful smell." Ami said softly as she drew aside the shoji
door, whisking her skirts within after her. Kami's head perked up, and
her lavender eyes smiled in recognition as Ami entered the room.
"Ah,
Kanashimi-chan! Come, sit!" Kami set aside her pestle and gestured at a
pillow across from her. The table that lay before them was filled with powders
and etched porcelain bowls of different sizes, a large jar of honey among them,
sunlight glinting off the amber
coloring. "Come, you must help me! I've been at this for
hours." She pushed a bowl and pestle at Ami, who settled her robes about
her in a pool of whitewater. Taking up the bowl, Ami sniffed it slightly, and
smiled.
"This
is a wonderful smell. What is it called?"
"That
is Plumberry Tears, my own recipe. I've been experimenting. Here, smell this
one." Kami urged another bowl at Ami, and she leaned in to take in that
scent as well.
"And
that one?"
"Maidenflower
Unfaded, my
newest experiment. Isn't it lovely? Here, please help."
Ami
did as she was instructed, taking up the pestle and copying Kami's
diligent pounding, beating the mixture into a thick paste. "For how long, Kami-chan?"
"Two
thousand beats. It must be a very fine paste, to have the incense come out just
right. All this work would be pointless, if not done right, ne?"
"Hai,"
Ami agreed, and bent to her work of blending.
This
is so peaceful.
They sat alone in the room,
the windows to the outside open, a soft breeze stirring their hair on occasion.
There was the sound of the cicadas outside noisily going about their business,
sounding the alarm that summer was there, and its heat. Bright sunlight
splashed across the faces of the girls who sat and worked at their mixing,
making the colors of their hair glint in the shimmering tones of the afternoon.
After a few minutes, it could be felt, warming Ami in her robes, and setting a
stiffness in her back from sitting without a chair. But she ignored this,
wondering the best way to come casually about to her question.
Asking
flat out if there is something haunting her is just ridiculous. Who would say
that? Well, I suppose Usagi-chan could, but it would seem normal from her, not
me. How do you ask a person if they have a ghost hanging around them?
The soft grating sound of
pestle against clay bowl continued a few more moments, until Kami coughed once,
lightly, interrupting the quiet that hung between them.
"Are
you all right, Kami-chan?"
"Eh?
Hai, I am. How is yours?"
"I
think it's nearly done."
"Ah,
good. Let me see." Ami tilted the bowl for her to see the smooth paste.
"Very good. Here, have you made this before?"
"No."
"Ah.
Here, roll it into a ball, this size," Kami demonstrated by rolling a
dark ball the size of a thrush's egg. From the other side of the table,
she pulled out a ceramic jar. "Then in here. We'll bury it in the
garden, with the morning glories. It will make a nice fragrance when done,
ne?"
"Hai,
very nice, Kami-chan," Ami agreed, imitating Kami's gestures and
rolling the paste into the egg sized balls. They passed a moment this way, and
Ami finally asked, "Kami-chan, have you been feeling all right?"
Her
response was a cough, deeper and with Kami's sleeve covering her lips.
She flushed with embarrassment. "Oh, just a passing cough. I'm
fine, Kanashimi-chan."
Ami
blinked. "Oh, that's not what I meant...I mean, I'm glad
you're all right, but...other than the cough. The other day you seemed so
sad, I wanted to know if you were well in that way."
Kami
laughed lightly. "I'm fine, of course. You're so silly to
worry. You're the one whose name is Sorrow!" She waved a hand in
dismissal, setting down the fragrance blend she mixed.
Ami
did not give up so easily. There is something sad hanging about her, though
I can't place it. I have to find out what it is. For her sake. And maybe
for my own as well.
"Have you had any
strange dreams? Like you spoke of before? The strange place, and the people who
fought? Did any of them come back with you?"
Kami
was looking at Ami quizzically, heavy lashes blinking over pale eyes. Her deft
fingers set down the pestle, and her eyes considered Ami. "Come with me?
No, why should a dream accompany me back from the land of sleep? There would
have to be a strong magic to link such places, or a bridge between such worlds.
Imagine, speaking to one who fought with demons! What power that must be, to
wield."
I
know none of us came here. Well, other than me, and I'm not sure why. Or
how. But that is not what I meant. She wouldn't be so sad if it were a
senshi. At least I hope not! It must be a youma. Oh god, what if an enemy we
killed is trying to attack her? But how? Through me? But I don't even
know how I got here! None of this makes sense!
"A great power,"
Ami agreed aloud. "But what I meant was an evil thing. You haven't
been attacked, have you? By evil kami?"
Kami
was choosing her words carefully, picking her phrases. Delicately, she stood,
smoothing her skirts and setting aside the incense container. The damp balls of
scent rocked against each other from within it. Kami moved to the window, and Ami followed her, looking out
over the courtyard. No fireflies hovered there now, and an elegant willow swept
its branches across the stones. "You worry for me, Kanashimi-chan. Far
too much about me. You assume," she lifted a finger, "that it is I
who am in need of help." Smiling, Kami leaned forward on the windowsill,
eyes turned up to the sea of clouds above them. "You seem to think I
don't know you're not supposed to be here."
She's
always behaved as though she didn't know! What is she hiding?
"Kami-chan," Ami
began, but was silenced when Kami suddenly touched her temple, a look of
confusion crossing her tiny features as she winced.
"Ah,
forgive me. Amaterasu-sama shines too brightly for me to look into her
face." Kami rubbed her eyes and then the back of her head. "Gomen
ne, Kanashimi-chan." Kami began to step away from the window, but her
foot caught on the tatami, and she stumbled a step.
Ami
took her arm and led her away. "If there is something about that is
trying to hurt you, please, Kami-chan, you must tell me."
"All
demons do not attack from without," came soft words, and Kami's
voice was distant, as though speaking from very far away. She suddenly blinked
as Ami set her back upon a pillow, and knelt beside her, trying to see if her
forehead was warm. "Ah, gomen, I sound silly. I am glad to have you here
to help me, if there was an attack such as that you worry about." Kami
patted Ami's hand and then turned back to her fragrances. "I would
be there for you, if I could. You seem to need the strength to fight a demon in
your heart. Did you know, that if you name a thing, you give it a limit? I name
my demons. You...." Kami looked at Ami thoughtfully, turning her head
back. "Your demon is named....named...." Kami stuttered, then began
to blink rapidly. "Kanashimi-chan," she whispered softly.
"Don't move...."
Ami
froze as Kami's eyes locked on something behind her shoulders. Oh god,
its begun. An attack. This time, I'll protect you, by myself....
"The most dangerous
demons gaze into your heart, and eat your dreams from within...."
Her
voice had become a shattered sound, and when Ami looked into her eyes, they
grew paler, dim and white, and the ravens of thought crowed in Ami's
mind, clawing their way to the surface, becoming a bitter mirror of sadness,
reflecting her feelings of helplessness.
Though
she reached for Kami's hands, they faded away from her, becoming as
tangible as the mists that flow in the corridors of time. Tiny pinpricks of
light filled her vision, not so unlike the fireflies that had danced before,
the flames that rolled on the tides of her vision.
And
then she was set free of the dream, and found herself in room, surrounded by
the things that made her feel safe.
Ami
made breakfast for herself, scrambled eggs and a piece of toast with grape
jelly. Her mother was gone, off to work earlier. Fidgeting, Ami prowled the
apartment, unsure if there was something wrong. There was something there! I
think. I didn't get to see. Damn, what keeps me from staying long enough
to figure things out? I ask her, and she evades it. Then I don't get a
second chance. It's almost deliberate. She wouldn't try to stop me
on purpose, would she? No, that wouldn't make any sense! Ami got dressed, tried to
read. There was no concentration. She tried to study. The ink on the page
blurred into a swell of black type.
Argh!
I can't take this anymore!
Across Tokyo, a phone rang.
"Is
Usagi there?"
"Yeah,
hang on," Shingo's bored voice told her. "Usagi! Phone!" She heard him
shouting up the stairs, his voice distant through the receiver. Pacing, Ami
chewed her lip, pressing the phone to her ear.
"Hello?"
Usagi's voice came over the end, tinny through the phone lines.
"Hi,
Usagi-chan."
"Ami-chan?"
Usagi sounded a little surprised, since Ami rarely called just to talk.
"Is everything okay?"
"Oh,
fine. I just don't have anything to do," suddenly, Ami was seized
with the unexpected desire to do something. "...so I rented 'Princess
Mononoke.' I wanted to know if you and everyone wanted to come over to watch
it."
There
was a long pause at the other end of the line.
You
know, I think this is the first time I ever invited anyone to my apartment,
just to sit around and talk or watch a movie. Much less the whole of the
senshi. She's thinking there's something wrong, either that, or
that I'm having a surprise party for her or something. And since
it's not her birthday, she'll dismiss that idea.
"Sure, Ami-chan!"
Usagi's voice came enthusiastically over the other end. Having recovered
from the slight shock, the Moon Princess's usual exuberance took control.
"Should I bring Chibi-Usa too?"
"Sure.
And some food. Chips or something."
"Great!
I'll be over in ten-"
"An
hour, Usagi-chan. I need to call everyone else, too."
"Oh
yeah. Okay! An hour! Ja ne!"
There
was a click, and dial tone.
Okay,
hopefully that's enough time to run to the video store and get the movie.
And call everyone else.
Having an apartment full of
talkative off-duty senshi didn't help, but being able to watch the movie
distracted Ami a little. And sometimes the chatter did too. Minako decided that
Rei apparently needed a new hairdo, and ended up doing some kind of weird
youma-type thing that was piled up onto her head in a completely unrealistic
gravity-defying style. Rei retaliated by getting ahold of Minako's red
bow, and not letting her have it back, causing them to chase each other all
over the apartment, screaming the whole time.
They
watched the movie, and apparently Ashitaka looks like sempai.
Dr.
Mizuno could hardly believe the sight of so many girls hanging around their
living room when she got home that evening. Ami was quietly sitting on the
sofa, smiling and laughing quietly with Makoto, who was still babbling about
Ashitaka, and wondering who the actor was.
"Ami-chan?"
"Mom?"
Ami stood, and went to help her mother bring in her briefcase and shed her
coat.
"What
is all this?" She gestured to the sprawled out senshi.
"Dr.
Mizuno-san!" Usagi leapt up, shouting cheerfully and waving.
"Hi!"
Ami's
mother smiled back, shaking her head. "Hello, Usagi-san. How many of your
friends do you have in there, Ami-chan?"
"All
of them, I think."
She
smiled weakly, and Ami noticed how tired she looked, dark half moons under her
eyes, which were slightly red. "That's good, Ami-chan. I'm
glad you have your friends over. It's nice to meet you all." Dr.
Mizuno greeted the girls. Seeing Chibi-Usa, she blinked. "My, Usagi, if
you were a few years older, I would swear she was your daughter."
Usagi
went red in the face, and Chibi-Usa laughed a little. The other girls said
their hellos, and Dr. Mizuno told Ami she was going to get some sleep.
"Bad
day?"
Her
mother sighed and nodded. "Meetings, along with the usual. It's all
right...."
"Then
maybe we'd better go," Rei commented, tugging the youma hairdo out,
letting it return to its usual black curtain. "We don't want to
keep you up."
"No,
no, that's fine-"
"Yeah,"
Minako agreed. "We've been here since before lunch."
"Can
we finish the chips first?" Usagi asked.
"No!"
Rei snapped.
"Usagi,
Ikuko-mama is making cake for after dinner tonight," Chibi-Usa reminded
her.
Usagi
blinked, torn between the chips, which were before her, and the promise of
cake. At long last, she gave in, with a look of determination. "Shingo is
not getting half this time! And neither are you, Chibi-Usa-chan!"
Chibi-Usa
got a crafty, slightly too pink-sugar look on her face.
"Oh,
no you won't!"
Chibi-Usa
grinned.
Usagi
began to screech, and Rei had to drag her out along with the rest of them.
The
room seemed very empty when they had all left, and Ami began to pick up the
pieces of silverware they had left in their wake. "No, Mom, I have
it...." Ami protested as her mother began to help her in her collection.
"Really. Go get some sleep. You look like you need it."
In
reality, Dr. Mizuno was too tired to argue, so with a sigh, she took the plates
she had assembled into the kitchen, then headed off to the bathroom. It was
early, but it was still that kind of day. Ami sighed, and went about the
business of making dinner for them, which passed quietly into the oncoming
evening. The darkness wrapped around their home, settling in until burned away
by the brightness of the dawn.
There
is a word for this sensation, and I do not like it. Foreboding. The night hangs
heavily, and it forebodes the darkness. I wonder if I place too much worry and
wonder on the depths of tonight. There is no moon, for Selene is renewing
herself by hiding away. Soon she will be reborn. Tomorrow night, the moon will
glow off the waters in the bay once more. But tonight, the darkness is at its
greatest depth. Maybe then, in the this night without stars, the darkness will
at last attack, and I may see its face. It's not good to keep holding out
like this. We always knew so quickly before. This demon is different. I
can't even see its face. And how do you fight what you cannot see?
Hm..that chapter was a little shorter than usual, ne? Hope you don't mind…things start going fast from here…hang on…
Ja ne!
-Queen