Look, Stop That!
By Ginny :)
This is my 2nd METMA fic. My brother told me that writing about West Ham was practically sacrilege, because Liverpool is better. So saying, I'm writing about Dean Thomas's West Ham football team poster. Hah.
This was influence by an... um... enlightening chat with some of the boys I usually hang round with at school. Lovely.
I know that, strictly speaking, the poster isn't a Magical Article, but still...!
Please read and review!
Ginny :)
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You wouldn't think that it'd be too bad here at Hogwart's School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry, would you, just for an ordinary Muggle poster like me.
I see everything that goes on the boy's dormitory, and some of it... ain't too nice. As to what some of the boys talk about in their spare time... it's not to be heard be delicate ears! I swear, I've heard it all!
Yeah, I suppose you could say that some of my time here has been exciting. I've seen Sirius Black. I always know what Potter and Weasley are up to, much of it being illegal or against school rules. I know just about everything about Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown from my owner and his friends, and lots of it, I don't want to know.
My owner has mastered a talent, you see, for looking through the backs of girl's shirts if they don't have their usual robes on, to see what bra size they are! I mean honestly!
And that Potter kid has definite problems sleeping at night, let me tell you. I try and get to sleep, rest a while at night, you know, when that boy decides to have a nightmare, or be thinking about something, and up he gets and goes wandering around the room, making it bloody well impossible for me to get any rest at all! I mean really! He has no sympathy for a poster like me, who is kept awake the rest of the time by the boys discussing all manner of things.
But, I'll tell you one thing, he is nothing compared to That Ronald Weasley. Absolutely nothing. Weasley has always been fascinated by me, because the pictures on me don't move. They have every right not to move! What's it to him if I'm not really Magical? Is that any excuse to go around poking me, prodding me, trying to make the picture move? I ask you! Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if his fingers weren't so long and bony, and I wasn't so ticklish! It's just awful! If I was Magical I'd probably be howling with silent laughter, with the people in my picture dashing around trying to avoid his ever prodding fingers, what probably have been in some kind of revolting potion not half an hour before most times, when he hasn't even bothered to wash his grubby little mitts! It's simply revolting! If I could, I'd complain to the Manufacturers. Posters aren't made to stand up to kiddiefiddlers like him.
And you know what the worst of it is?
I don't even like West Ham!
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Well, I thought that was funny in a... twisted way. Please read & review.... and have a nice day!!!!!!!!!!!!